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Another interesting film. I’ll see if I can download it this weekend.
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Dec 15, 2020 10:22
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Honestly, the MST3K version (Ep. 403) is pretty enjoyable. The only major cuts they made are the inexplicable love scene (nothing else indicates Lee & Wickings are interested in each other) and the death of Bob, which almost makes Lee seem more complex since we don't know if he's telling the truth. Of course it can be good to get the commentary out of the way and see it as it might have been. I may have come off as hard on it, but I just find it a frustrating film; I think the story has potential. A pretty decent cast- James Earl Jones, Kim Cattrall are doing fine, and Lee is John Stockwell, showing up in his second on this list (other one was Radioactive Dreams). Rae Dawn Chong — has done better, but she is also in it. Later producer/writer Dean Devlin has a minor role. Robby Benson is a 'special appearance' right around the time he was no longer all that special, and Kane Hodder (Jason Voorhees' actor) has a bit part too.
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Dec 15, 2020 14:41
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Florida Man Fights Off BadgersGUB Director Herrell posted:October 6, 1999  The Reborners in the Cincinnati area didn't seem to be pushing the Gator Goons out. They had made no comment when the gang was attacked by mutants again at night. But they weren't as willing to lend a helping hand with the food needed for the long trip westward. They said they were 'preparing for the winter'. The Goons ended up grabbing whatever canned goods they could scrounge at a burned-out IGA.  One of the healers among the group expressed a desire to join up and head west with the group. They turned him down. He and a few others simply told them to 'keep an eye on those mutants; and you'd better stay out of Illinois'.  Florida Man ignored such warnings, because from the map it seemed that the most direct route to Tacoma would be along the northern roads. The gang headed on quickly past Indianapolis. On the way they were once again assaulted by roving bands of the infected.  By the time they reached the Indiana-Illinois border, it was clear that something was wrong. Few supplies were available in Gary, and the frightened residents that remained were desperate to join up, only for half of them to end up the new victims in another wave of attacks. All of them warned the gang not to go near Chicago. One woman asked, "Is the whole country any better off? Is it safer anywhere else?"  Despite winning each fight, the gang was slowly being whittled away. Their numbers were down to little more than half what they'd been at the start of the week. An attack from a road gang might well present a problem just in crewing the guns. Florida Man could not wait any longer. They headed into Chicago.  The thing was, Chicago wasn't really there anymore. A blasted wasteland surrounded the city, with barely any signs of life inside the death zone. The skeletons of the downtown skyscrapers could still be seen on the skyline, but most of them were blackened or crumbling. Another winter would likely do them in. Elpida spoke up in a solemn tone. "We had heard... rumors. Someone said there were cities hit by nuclear bombs. They were detonated in them. I did not know this place would be one." The gang passed in silence around Chicago's perimeter, and as they drew close to the lake, discovered the highway leading northward out of the vast rubble of the dead city.  But just as they were working on clearing a path for the trucks amidst all the wrecked cars and streets choked with piles of concrete buildings, they were set upon by a half-dead, ravenous group of infected. The radiation had given them the worst form of the disease. They could not have been long for this world, but they attacked with a savagery that no longer seemed human.  All along the road to Milwaukee they gang had to keep up their guard. Even once they arrived, they could sense the city was on edge, constantly bracing itself for attacks from the south. That night, more infected came at their camp. Hardly any lives were lost on the Goons' side, but morale was rapidly slipping.  A pitiful group of men and women had tried banding together on their own just to improve their chances against the onslaught of the Chicago ravagers. They eagerly agreed to come with the Gator Goons on a trip westward.  Although still uncertain about the prospects of the long road ahead with few major cities or resources likely to be available, the Gator Goons had to move onward. The infected came out every night, with no signs of growing any weaker.  They were about halfway out of Wisconsin, with a good distance now between themselves and Chicago, when they spotted movement on the quiet roads.  It was three vehicles, all painted black, emblazoned with large "BADGER ARMY" logos on them. Most of the people on board were dressed in military fatigues or hunting camouflage, and they all sported standard-issue US Army guns.  Almost relieved to be dealing with a more sane-looking opponent, the Gator Goons set up their own combat formation.  They had these militia members outnumbered, but for once Florida Man held back on making any rash moves. They couldn't expect to retreat to any nearby city if this Badger Army turned out to be a bigger threat.  The cars closed in on each other and gunfire was exchanged. It seemed both sides were staying protected by their armor, and losses were initially light.  Although the experience in Chicago had seemed to sober him before, the thrill of the fight fired up Florida Man, and he once again sped the Gator Mobile past the enemy vehicles in a daring turn that just missed their front bumper.  Even Jack did a bit of showing off as he wheeled the Chevy in a tight high-speed turn right in the face of the Badger Army's cars.  As he passed, the warriors on his car fired out the back of the van and took out one of the cars.  Florida Man's stunt had forced the Freightliner to veer on to the shoulder, and it now had to worry about the largest enemy car, a full-size Ford van.  As much as it tried to speed past with its upgraded engine, the truck still ended up taking a pretty serious hit as the van slammed into its back end. This group of the 'Badger Army' was gone, but there could be some serious trouble if there were more of them to be dealt with up the road.  When they made it safely to Minneapolis, they found the inhabitants to be quite friendly. There was even a welcoming committee ready to tell them all about what was going on there. They told them all about the Mayo clinic When the disease had come, some of the best doctors in the country had worked on figuring out possible treatments. Even though they did not have a cure yet, their advances in 'anti-toxin' were notable, and the compassion and drive they displayed were remarkable. Over time, the city had become a safe haven and an island of healing in the plague-ridden world. After the tour, Dr. Balthazar came to the gang's leaders with a serene but serious look on his face. "I think I want, no I think I need, to stay here. You know, I was never too excited to go on such a long trip. Here, I think would be perfect. And I could be useful to them." They were all saddened to see him go, but it was clear there was no convincing him to stay. Florida Man promised that if he ever wanted to travel with them, even if just to go back east, he'd be welcome to come. Dr. Balthazar didn't want to leave the Gator Goons with nobody to take care of them, so he asked around at the Mayo Clinic. There was a man there, a Dr. Kassabian, who was willing to head out into the open country and travel with them. He was a short man with dark brown hair and rosy red cheeks who came out smiling. As soon as he showed up, he said, "Well? Everybody healthy? Then when do we leave?"  He was only mildly disappointed when the gang stayed around for a bit longer. The Twin Cities seemed relatively safe, especially after the trip through Illinois and Wisconsin. Elpida made a plea for more volunteers to join up, promising that they would truly be helping to 'heal the country'.  The Gator Goons had to keep moving westward. They insepected the vehicle fleet and when they were ready, drove out onto the empty highway.  As they made their way to Fargo, on the border of Minnesota, a friendly group of nurses appeared, offering some of their supplies of the disease-fighting drugs. They encouraged the Gator Goons to stay safe on the road once they heard of their plan to continue all the way to Washington.  Florida Man was ready to keep on driving right away, but then Jack showed him the map. "We're going to go through here, North Dakota. It looks straight, and flat." Florida man nodded in approval. "After that, we head into the Rocky Mountains. We have to hope the passes are open." "True, but I'm sure we'll found a way. We made it all around in New York and Pennsylvania. These'll just be a bit taller." "No, what I am worried of is that there are no cities along the route. No place to resupply, and if we are attacked, there'll be no replacements." "Let's stick around, then, get whatever supplies we can — and maybe whoever we can get to join up. There's gotta be some people here willing to leave." "I hope it goes well. Every one of them will have to be willing to go that thousand miles."  The Gator Goons attempts to gather more supplies did not go unnoticed, however. A group of the Minnesota National Guard arrived. They all came out in formation, their uniforms clean and neatly pressed. One of them stepped forward. "Captain Hagelund, 34th Infantry. We'd like to know your business in this town. We've heard reports of looting." Florida Man shuffled his feet. "Just passing through, you know. Heading on soon enough." "We're not going to tolerate any nonsense in this town." "Look, I've got important stuff to do! I'm heading out west... it's an important mission." "Shut up! You're not going to loot us and get away with it. Where the heck're you from, anyway?" Instead of answering, Florida Man let out a mighty yell, threw his hands in the air, and [URL=https://nypost.com/2020/07/23/florida-man-tries-to-evade-arrest-by-cartwheeling-away-from-cops/ ] made a sudden gymnastic turn [/URL] befrore running off. Once he spotted Jack and Cecile, he shouted, "Quick, get the cars running##! We're leaving town now!" As they raced past the still-shocked militia, there were shouts and insults but nobody raised their weapons. One of the soldiers could be heard to say, "Ha##! You won't last long once those mothertruckers out there find you!"  The gang found it almost amusing that the guardsman was censoring his language with such an expression. That changed early the next morning. They'd manage to put almost 200 miles between themselves and Fargo when they realized the man had not misspoken. Four large flatbed trucks, probably once used on a farm to carry livestock, now carried people armed with rifles, bows, knives and chains - just about anything that could be used as a weapon. Most of them were wearing brightly-colored warpaint on their faces, and the men had stripped to the waist and painted more odd designs on their bodies. The drivers of the trucks, oddly enough, were all elderly women, only some of whom had opted to decorate their own faces in the same fashion as the gang members riding on board. Right on the front grill, and scrawled on the side of each cab, could be seen the name in red paint: "Muthuh Truckers".  The trucks had split into pairs. The Gatormobile, the limo, and the Freightliner faced off against one side, with the van, the Stellar, and the Mack going against the other.  The raucous occupants of the trucks were unprotected, and relatively easy pickings even at long range.  Their own shots fired back hit the wheels on the limo, causing it to spin sideways. The Freightliner was unable to get out of the way in time, and there was an awful crunch as it slammed into the front end. Luckily no one was injured.  On the other side of the road, the Gator Goons were doing much better at wearing down the opposition.  The limo had survived the collision, but was still in danger as the enemy trucks barrelled down the road at them.  As the two trucks passed by, the Freightliner blasted away, knocking down half a dozen people.  The inferior weapons of the Muthuh Truckers proved to be deadly in the right circumstances.  With the gunfire flying around them, the women at the wheel hit the brakes, causing the two trucks to have a mishap of their own.  Meanwhile, both the Gatormobile and the other trailer truck had made their way past the two on the other side.  It was a duel of numbers; the Freightliner was taking losses, but they did have the advantage in better weapons and better protection.  The limo had managed to get away for now, thanks to the inept handling of the big flatbed farm truck. There were fewer people in the back of the enemy trucks, and their fire was growing less effective.  One of the trucks went down, and another was run off the road into a fence.  A second flatbed crashed when even the bulldozer got into the action.  The two Muthuh Truckers were separated now, and would not last much longer.  Even with the opposition fading, the Hyundai put itself in a dangerous position of trying to thread the needle between the two of them.  But it turned out to be all right; first one, and then the other truck rolled to a stop as the drivers slumped over dead.  It was a rough introduction to the gang that ruled the wide-open spaces of the Dakotas and westward.  These trucks were probably the only sort of vehicles that could carry the necessary supplies to make it through this deserted region of the country; the spoils from the battle seemed for the moment to be worth the fight.  It hadn't been a terrible hit, but the Freightliner was certainly not in top form, and the gang was miles away from any repair garage.  The limousine was in worse shape, naturally, but it could still drive. Florida Man said to keep pushing onward.  Fortunately, the next few days passed uneventfully as the Gator Goons cruised through the vast expanse of the northern plains.  A little ways into Montana, just over the Yellowstone River, they ran into trouble. More Muthuh Truckers -- in big rigs this time. This week's film: Mad Max 2 (aka The Road Warrior)
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Dec 19, 2020 09:01
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The Mayo Clinic is in Rochester, not Minneapolis-St Paul, though I suppose that’s close enough. Pity we couldn’t loot the Mall of America. These Mother Truckers are a memorable gang. 
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Dec 19, 2020 10:58
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achtungnight posted:Pity we couldn’t loot the Mall of America. all the lego you could want I have no idea if that's still there, actually. That giant lego center in the middle (ish) of the mall, near the log flume. Because of course it has a log flume.
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Dec 22, 2020 08:17
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Well, it's still 2000 in Florida Man's timeline, so it's probably there? I don't know enough about the Mall of America to say for sure. Log flumes will be making an in-game appearance, at least by implication (though only in one location to be seen later). Posts are delayed a bit this week due to a broken phone, but I do expect to get to the Road Warrior soon enough.
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Dec 22, 2020 23:56
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Mad Max 2 [aka The Road Warrior] (1981) "If it's all the same to you... I'll drive that tanker."  The film opens with a voiceover from the point of view of one of the inhabitants of the post-apocalyptic future, who explains how the world was destroyed by nuclear war, and he is telling the story of the "the Road Warrior...the man we called Max". We then see Max Rockatansky, still in his black car from the first film, dealing with an attack from a motley road gang. He's able to survive it, with a fair amount of destruction left in his wake. Max appears to be roaming through the post-war wasteland, and has to scavenge fuel wherever he can. He also has a canine companion -- a scruffy-looking Blue Heeler (not named in the film). He took some gas from the gang he battled earlier, but continues to search. He seems to be in luck when he comes across an apparently abandoned autogyro, but it turns out to be an ambush from the gyro's owner, who was hidden in the dirt nearby. Max ends up getting the upper hand on the pilot (a slightly comical character known only as the 'Gyro Captain'), who tells him of a nearby oil well/refinery where he can gather as much fuel as he needs. They go together, with Max and his dog keep a watchful eye on the captain the whole time. When they arrive, Max discovers that the refinery is under siege from a road gang led by a man known as 'The Humungus'; he also recognizes among them a man who'd attacked him earlier, a savage mohawked biker named 'Wez'. Wary of both the encampment and the besieging gang, Max continues to observe them from far off. There is an attempt to break out from the refinery by a few vehicles; they are all intercepted and brutally dealt with. Max finds one wounded survivor, and makes a deal with him to be given fuel if he takes the man back to the refinery. Max arrives and is let inside the camp with the man, who unfortunately is too far gone and dies of his wounds.  The refinery is led by Pappagallo, a strict but benevolent leader trying his best to keep the group alive. Max informs him of the deal, but Pappagallo says the deal died with the man. Just then, Humungus returns and demands that the settlers just walk away and leave the fuel, or else he will wipe them out. Wez becomes enraged when a small child (the 'Feral Kid') kills his boyfriend using a sharpened metal boomerang, but Humungus reins him in and promises he'll let the settlers live if they abandon the refinery. Pappagallo actually is trying to leave the refinery, although not on Humungus's terms. The problem he faces is that they have a large tanker of refined fuel, but no way to transport it safely. Max tells him that he knows of an abandoned trailer truck that could haul the fuel, and cuts a deal: he will get them the tractor in exchange for as much gas as he can carry in his own car. Max sets off for the truck and runs into the Gyro Captain again. The two briefly team up, with the Gyro Captain helping fly Max to the tractor and scouting for him on the way back. Max is able to fight back in with some slight damage to the truck, requiring a day of repairs. The settlers inside want Max to drive the truck on the way out, but he only wants to finish the deal and take his fuel. As Max drives off in his car, the road gang (in particular Wez) pursues him and then force his car off the road into a canyon. Max is thrown from the car and is seriously injured. When the gang members come down to check the scene, a booby trap attached to Max's car explodes, killing some of them. The rest of the gang fails to see Max and assume he died inside the car, so they leave. The Gyro Captain finds Max and saves his life by returning him to the refinery compound. Max, despite his wounded leg, says that he is now willing to drive the truck. Pappagallo at first refuses, but eventually relents. He expects that the tanker will be the biggest target, so the remaining settlers are encouraged to leave in their own vehicles in any direction that seems safe. The Feral Kid gets on board with Max, as he seems to have taken a liking to the man (and Max earlier showed him a bit of kindness by giving him a music-box toy). Finally, the group departs and the chase is on. There is an intense, minutes-long road combat sequence in which everyone who'd been helping Max (including Pappagallo) is eliminated, although not without casualties among the attacking gang. In the end, Max and the Feral Kid remain alone, and Humungus makes a last-ditch effort to stop the tanker by ramming his own vehicle head-on into it. This kills Humungus (and Wez, who climbed up onto the grill moments before the collision) and also causes the tanker to run off the road and turn on its side. At this point, the hatches on the tank come loose, revealing that the entire time it was filled with sand. A final voiceover epilogue reveals that the 'juice', the gasoline, was hidden in all the other smaller vehicles which eventually did make it to a better settlement. We also learn that this narration has been coming from the Feral Kid, now a grown man, who says that he himself eventually became the leader of the tribe, and Max faded into legend.  With the character of Max already established in the first film, the sequel heads straight into the action, and doesn't really let up. The bigger budget allowed for more impressive scenes, more variety in shooting them, and just a bigger scale overall. It really wants the road combat to shine, so the plot is simple but still sensible. It is at almost all times focused on getting to the next thing that's happening, and is one of the most propulsive films ever made. The road fights, especially the final escape sequence, are really the best parts of the movie. All of the vehicles are constantly moving but the action is easily followed. In similar fashion to the first film, the camera will get low to the action, but with the autogyro included, aerial shots are also used and make sense with how the characters are viewing the scene. The stunts are again impressive, although again there is the slight sense that any of these could have put the crew in a fair bit of danger (probably less so than in the first film, as the bigger budget likely meant more time to work).  More so than the first film, this one relies heavily on visual characterization. There isn't much dialogue and names are rarely given, yet each person is quite memorable. Lord Humungus, rippling with muscles in leather fetish gear and covering his face with a hockey mask, exudes a mysteriously charismatic brutality that seems appropriate for the world of this series. Max only gets a minor amount of development, but it's sufficient to propel the plot. I think the vehicles seem to be slightly less highlighted than in the first. There are a wider variety of them to make up for that a bit, and every scene really has a wealth of detail to indicate what has become of the world. The violence is again visceral but not all that graphic. For instance, when Max's car is wrecked, the dog is shot, but you don't actually see it — just a yelp and the reaction from the people witnessing it. In its time, it was probably considered a bit much (some cuts were made before release to tone it down), but by today's standards it is still fairly compelling.  Although Mad Max laid the groundwork for this character and the hyperbolic post-apocalyptic world of deadly road fights, it is really this film that almost all imitators were drawing on. The vehicle and character designs, with their grab-bag of discarded equipment into whatever might seem intimidating or provide protection, really set the standard in their own odd way. Max's strong, nearly-silent, but reluctant hero type was the model for so many of its followers as well. For sure many of these aspects come out of the Western genre, but in post-apocalyptic films they were filtered through this film first. It's somewhat disappointing that often they did not include the backstory of the first film that lends his character a bit of tragic weight as he struggles with his own humanity, but this film doesn't really need or rely on that either. It is a bigger, more aggressive, and even more exciting sequel, and it keeps its focus on improving those elements remarkably well. Connections to Roadwar 2000  Almost every aspect of the road combats in Roadwar can be traced directly back to what's portrayed in this film. Fighting involves both shooting missile weapons and deliberate ramming. People jump onto other vehicles while in motion and engage in on-board fighting. The weapons include both crossbows and firearms (although guns are more plentiful in Roadwar, and Mad Max 2 has a handful of fancier weapons like flamethrowers and 'bombs' from the autogyro). Even targetting the tires is a tactic used in the movie in an attempt to slow down Max. There is inspiration from other sources, to be sure, but just as this film is the undeniable king of post-apocalyptic car-combat, it is almost certainly the primary influence on the design of the game. Even the name Roadwar is somewhat evocative of the American title (The Road Warrior, chosen because the first film was still relatively unknown when it was released). I'd venture to say that the experience of the movie is precisely what the game is trying to deliver, and if you can inject enough imagination into the tactical outcomes, it often succeeds at it.
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Dec 24, 2020 21:29
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Road Warrior was my second favorite Mad Max film, first until Fury Road came out. Anytime a game has a combat sequence on top of vehicles I can't help but think of both films.
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Dec 24, 2020 22:43
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Florida Man Goes Underground These are the last two entries in the journal. GUB Director Herrell posted:November 20, 1999  With the Muthuh Truckers coming at them with no less than three full-size trailer trucks, plus one more flatbed, the Gator Goons stayed in a close formation. They needed to concentrate their own firepower and prevent the smaller vehicles from getting isolated and picked off.  The Muthuh Truckers maintained a similar discipline, though in their case it was keeping the trailer trucks together. It appeared the flatbed might have been a straggler from another raiding party, as it was separated from the others. Or perhaps they had intended it as bait.  The speedier cars of the Gator Goons tried to split the fire of the enemy while leading them into a pile of wrecked cars that would make it harder for the less nimble trucks to turn on them.  Florida Man was thankful that for however ferocious this gang appeared to be in vehicle size, they did not have quite the firepower to back it up.  The plan to trap the Muthuh Truckers worked to get two of them mired in the piles of rusting steel on the roadway, but one truck remained well back. At least they were more isolated now.  The stalled trucks made for an easier target, and the warriors in the limo took advantage.  For the Gatormobile, things had not gone well. Almost everyone inside the car had been killed, and Florida Man was forced to drive hard to get out of range of the deadly crossbows.  Every car was taking casualties; it might well have been worse with firearms, but that was little comfort at the moment.  The first victory was had, however. With the two lead trailer trucks temporarily halted, the Gator Goons had been able to work on the flatbed truck, and it was now finished off.  The lead trailer truck had also been taken car of by gunfire from the Mack, but that left them in the position of having to make a u-turn at low speed. The other lead Muthuh Trucker was now bearing down on them.  The truck that had stayed back was now facing down the bulk of the Gator Goons. The Freightliner made the foolhardy decision to play chicken, trusting that its superior road handling would prevent a devastating head-on crash.  It was a gamble that paid off; the Freightliner swung around and away, leaving the enemy truck subject to fire from two sides.  Meanwhile, the Mack was being pursued by the other truck, its driver intent on taking revenge for the two lost trucks by any possible means. The action had brought them within range of the D5, which usually stayed well away from combat.  The smaller vehicles were staying away from the fight; it was turning into a battle between the big rigs.  Their guns were assisting however, if only as a distraction. The truck chasing the Mack was finally brought down.  Not long afterward, the other truck was eliminated.  The Muthuh Truckers were defeated.  This had been one of the Gator Goons toughest challenges yet. Twenty-five people lost their lives in the fight. The gang was too far into the trip to turn back now, though, and they would have to push to get through the Rockies.  The gang that terrorized the plains seemed to have been beaten, and no further attacks occurred. Two days later, the Gator Goons were well into the highlands. They would now be passing through the steepest, highest stretch of road they'd yet encountered, at Homestake Pass.  They made it through the pass and witnessed the now mostly-abandoned former mining towns and small cities of Montana. It seemed that the sickness had hit especially hard here. It seemed as if most of the population had retreated into the mountains rather than succumb to any new strains of the illness.  There was practically a celebratory mood in the gang as they finally emerged from the Rocky Mountains into the broad steppe at the city of Spokane. Here, there might be hope to fix up for the final push to the G.U.B.  The mood quickly turned to a somber one as the scouts reported that the invading enemy armies controlled this city. It seemed they must have also landed on the west coast. Florida Man figured this might be a good region of the country where they could have simply landed in their spaceships.  The gang spent a day desperately but cautiously seeking auto repair shops and any locals willing to join up, but they had no luck. This town seemed too isolated to have a lot of resources, and most people remained suspicious of any outsiders.  Eventually, an old repair garage near the railway line gave them hope to continue. With the cars and trucks in proper fighting condition, they could likely handle one more fight.  Elpida worked her magic and after a day of practically going door-to-door to bring in supporters, she came back with a good number of people willing to support the cause.  The gang had been anticipating that the Invaders would come after them at some point, and their defenses were prepared. They weren't about to let these soldiers stop them before they saw the Pacific.  In a stroke of luck, Spokane turned out to be merely a minor outpost for the invasion. The one big street fight was sufficient. Florida Man wasn't sure if the gang really needed to expand here, but Elpida said it was vital that they take control of this, as a safe haven for "returning to the G.U.B.".  The aftermath of the battle brought forward a large number of people who'd been living in fear and poverty. They had nowhere else to go, and so they joined up with the Gator Goons.  The gang spent one more day in the town, and then set out on the last leg of the trip to the G.U.B.  They'd only made it about 50 miles, and were still in the sun-baked terrain of the Rocky Mountain foothills when they spotted another flatbed truck roaring up the highway. The scouts called it out, "More of those Muthuh Truckers!"  With the opposing vehicles coming at them so quickly, the Gator Goons had little time to arrange themselves.  The driver of the trailer truck grinned evilly as she fired off her own gun, killing one passenger in the Hyundai.  The Gator Goons made some deft turns that allowed them to surround their enemy on all sides.  Cecile directed salvoes of gunshots from the Freightliner at the flatbed first, as it'd be the easier target to knock out.  The fighters on the Mack took the cue and rained deadly fire at the truck's unprotected cargo space as well.  It did not take long before the flatbed did indeed take so much damage that it went out of control and skidded sideways to a stop.  The battle seemed to nearly be won, as there were seven vehicles to one lone truck. But the half-crazed Muthuh Truckers gave a loud shout and all rushed to leap over the front of their own truck and onto the Freightliner.  Some of them missed the jump and were crushed under their own vehicle's tires.  So many did survive however, that the battle on board was nearly a massacre. Cecile ran from back of the trailer to the front as the enemy gang on top fired off handguns, threw darts and knives, and even heaved heavy rocks and chunks of metal on those inside. Only the driver and Cecile remained. She braced her gun at her side and prepared for the worst.  As the trucks separated, the rest of the Gator Goons closed in on the truck. All of them fired, but no hits seemed to connect with any targets inside. Florida Man suddenly realized something -- the truck was empty! Only the driver remained. He drew his shotgun and took aim at the driver; with one shot she disappeared below the dashboard, and no one else took the wheel. The empty truck fishtailed and then tipped on its side with a resounding thud.  Back on the Freightliner, the rest of the enemy gang was stunned at this turn of events. It seems in their rush to board another truck, none of them had given a thought to keeping their own vehicle safe. The demoralized gang quickly surrendered.  The spoils of the fight included enough fuel to keep the gang moving for the trip back across the USA. It had come at quite a high price, as almost half of the casualties on the truck had only joined in Spokane.  By the next day, they headed up over the Cascades — the last pass on the way to the West Coast.  They descended from the mountains and, upon finding the bridge across the lake to be gone, they made their way around and approached the city from the north. Scouts spread out around the city and reported back that the Invaders controlled it. One of them reported that the locals apparently had known Florida Man was approaching the city, a fact which only made him more nervous.  The Gator Goons found an abandoned aircraft hangar where they could fix up their cars, and then they promptly left the city. Florida Man was pretty sure the Invaders would be a lot stronger here than in Spokane. He thought they must have made a landing in Puget Sound, or perhaps further west, on the Pacific coast.  They took the short trip down the highway to Tacoma, with a mild rain coming down the whole way. Upon arrival, they came upon a small group of people sheltering in some abandoned buildings down by the waterfront. Elpida said it might be good to bring them into the gang, just in case one of them knew where the G.U.B. was located. Jack and Cecile agreed, saying they would need more people to crew the vehicles for wherever they headed next.  Dr. Kassabian gave a health check-up to all the new members. In the course of talking to them, he learned that almost as soon as the pandemic had started, soldiers from Fort Lewis had come up and assumed control of the city. They had put a strict quarantine in place on certain districts and maintained guardposts. One of the Tacomans said that always struck her as odd, since as she said, "there isn't much worth protecting up there".  Still unsure about whether the G.U.B. really was in this city, Florida Man, Elpida, and Cecile went out to find out who was guarding the restricted zone. They finally found a checkpoint on one of the roads. As Elpida approached, the guard stood up a bit straighter and called out, "Ma'am, can I help you? Please maintain your distance. This is a restricted area." She stopped walking and replied, gently but firmly, "We're not trying to get into this area. We're just looking for some information. And I believe that this man can help you, or if not him, I can." Eventually the guard called in a superior officer, and after speaking with him, Elpida told them the procedure: Follow the road along the waterfront until it heads into a short tunnel. Once inside the tunnel, stop halfway through. They'd be given a challenge question. If they answered correctly, they'd be led to the right place. The trio took the Gatormobile and went together down to the location they'd been told. At first the tunnel seemed completely dark and empty, but they did stop in the middle, and Florida Man called out, "Hey!" A voice answered from an unseen location, probably a hidden speaker. "What is the last date in the director's journal?" Cecile looked questioningly at Florida Man and whispered, "Do we know that?" He shook his head at her, and then called back, "Uh... Christmas?" There was no answer for a moment. Then, quite suddenly, a section of the black tunnel wall slid open. A brilliant line of fluorescent lights switched on and they could see another tunnel, just barely wide enough for a car to drive down. Elpida said, "This has got to be it." They jumped back in the Gatormobile and drove for what seemed like more than a mile along a gradually sloping downward road. At the end, they arrived at a large steel door. Florida Man stopped the car. Suddenly the lights in the tunnel switched off, and everything behind them was blackness. An alarm blared and a red light began flashing as the steel door slowly rose up. Behind the door were two more armed guards, their weapons down and positioned loosely in the direction of the car. In the center of the passage stood a man, about 40 years of age, standing pensively in a grey suit. He wore glasses, and his face had a grim expression which lightened slightly as he spied the bright green Gator Mobile. "Florida Man? I'm G.U.B. Director Herrell. We've been waiting for you."  This week's film: Hell Comes To Frogtown
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Dec 26, 2020 21:03
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Oh no, not Frogtown.
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Dec 26, 2020 22:04
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Hell Comes to Frogtown "Used to take everything seriously...then they blew it up."  Synopsis The setup here is that a nuclear war that destroyed the world (introduced with the ironic phrase "a difference of opinion") which among other things caused a mutant race of frog people to be created. In a brief pre-credit sequence, we learn that the frog-men are not allowed to carry weapons, but have managed to get some guns anyway, as one of them kills a human. We then meet Sam Hell (actual last name Hellman), a wanted criminal who is about to face some rough justice from the father of one of the women he sexually assaulted. However, two women from 'Medtech' show up and take him into custody. They've discovered that he is a virile male, one of the few remaining in the world. Instead of going to prison, he is forced into service for Medtech. It is a military organization (run by women, it seems) that is charged with ensuring the continuance of the human race; fertility is highly prized and getting pregnant is seen as a patriotic duty. To keep Sam from running, a chastity belt of sorts is placed on him to monitor him, and control of it is given to Spangle, the officer who is now in charge of Sam. Their mission is to rescue a group of fertile women who have been captured by a frog commander named Toty in Frogtown, a place few humans apparently go to voluntarily. Sam's job will be to impregnate the women once they are rescued. They leave together with one other soldier, Corporal Centinella, who drives the car and crews its machine gun. Along the way they encounter a woman running through the desert in the middle of the night. She doesn't speak, but when Spangle discovers through a scan that she's not sterile, she induces ovulation in the woman and orders Sam to impregnate her. Sam initially balks at the idea, so an exasperated Spangle attempts to inspire him using her "training in seduction techniques". When Sam eventually "does his part" and the woman is safely a mother, she's released and told she's now a "national hero". As they get close to Frogtown, Spangle has Sam put a chain on her so she can show up as his prisoner and not be taken by anyone else in the city, since his belt will self-destruct if he is separated too far from her. Centinella stays back and the two go into the city. They enter a bar where most of the patrons are frog people. Inside, Sam runs into an old (human) friend of his, Looney Tunes (real name: Lonnie O'Toole) who says he has discovered a uranium deposit to mine. The frog dancer at the bar also gives them the password indicating that she is their inside contact with Toty. Sam and Spangle find out from one of the frog-men that it was 'Bull' who had captured the women for Toty, an act which earned Bull a promotion. There is then an attempt to purchase Spangle as a slave from Sam. Sam seems to be avoiding having to go through with it, until Bull himself shows up and forcibly auctions her to himself, since no one is willing to upset him or Toty. Arabella, the frog dancer, rescues Sam and tells him that Spangle has been taken to Toty's harem. Arabella then throws herself at Sam, but Sam's belt starts to beep since Spangle is being moved and they have to move quickly. Sam finds Spangle just as she's being presented to Toty. Toty also talks to a man named Count Sodom, who tells him another shipment is coming soon. Sam accidentally reveals himself, and ends up getting captured.  Spangle wakes up and finds that the other women who were taken are around her, performing some sort of ritual on her on orders from Commander Toty. She reveals herself and they tell her that she needs to have 'passion' in order to survive the 'Dance of the Three Snakes', to which two of their companions have already been lost. She wants to fight her way out, but is unable to overpower the frog who takes her to see Toty. Arabella arrives to rescue Sam, but is killed by one of the frog guards, who Sam then dispatches with a hand drill. Although he could now leave (one of the frog guards cut off his chastity device, which did explode afterward), Arabella's sacrifice fills him with resolve to actually do the right thing. At the same time, Looney Tunes is discovered by a frog patrolling the streets and fires off the signal flare that will bring Centinella in. Spangle is presented to Toty and force to dance for him; if she does not please him she will be killed. She does her best to 'remember her passion'. She is sufficiently seductive, and Toty calls her to him, but she kicks him as soon as she gets close enough. Toty is likely about to have her killed when Sam shows up and kills Toty's bodyguards. Toty leaps away and Sam and Spangle fight their way out (mostly it's Spangle that does the fighting). Centinella arrives and the hostages are all freed. In the fighting to get out of Frogtown, Looney Tunes is fatally wounded. Toty pursues them in an armored car with a tank gun mounted on it. They lose him up in a rocky hilly area, but are stopped by Count Sodom, who is armed with an RPG aimed at their car. Count Sodom reveals himself to be the man who had originally captured Sam -- Devlin. He is upset that the government (particularly Medtech) is run by women, and wants to destroy the world again. He's been trading guns to the frog people in exchange for uranium, which he is having processed by rogue scientists in a plot to develop a nuclear bomb. He pulls out a gun and is about to shoot Sam when one of the girls loosens a sword on Sam's back and he throws it straight at Sodom. Sam retrieves Sodom's gun; Sodom shows himself to still be alive so Sam is forced to shoot him. Sam then takes the RPG launcher. He heads back to the car and before he arrives hears an explosion. He finds the car wrecked by a shot from Toty, and thinks everyone inside has died. Toty drives up and starts to celebrate his triumph, but Sam appears from behind a bush with the RPG. He tells everyone else besides Toty to run off, and plans to blow both of them up by firing off the RPG. However, it turns out to be a dud. Sam then engages in melee combat with Toty, finally kicking him off the cliff. It turns out that the women had just been hiding, and they are all safe and sound. Sam and Spangle finally confess their mutual affection, although Spangle reminds Sam that he first has duty to perform, and impregnate the 'fertiles'.  This film seems like a perfect example of 'tongue-in-cheek' because it never quite gets too hammy but never really drops the lighthearted mood. The acting is always cheesy so it doesn't matter if it isn't all that great. That said, a fair amount of the movie is put together well. It is surprisingly well-plotted, even if it is simplistic and intentionally over-the-top. Most of the plot elements work and nothing feels nonsensical even if the world is outlandish. The production design is also quite good, from the sets to the nicely detailed frog-people costumes. While this is an exploitation movie, it is in some ways undercutting that effort. Even if it's only in a half-serious "nice problem to have" way, Sam does come off as somewhat reluctant to be required to engage in so much sexual activity. There's also a certain alienation that results from Spangle saying that she's 'trained' in seduction; it highlights the fact that anyone displaying their body is just doing it because it's some sort of job requirement, not because they are trying to entertain or enjoying it. We know that it's all a show, and there were times I almost didn't realize just how much skin was being shown on-screen because it kind of just fits with the plot. It is still a film where women's bodies are being shown off and the sexual prowess of the protagonist is constantly hyped, but it does at least some of the work to make it less crass than it could have been.  I don't blame anyone for finding the sexual politics and other aspects of the movie just bizarre and potentially off-putting. It could be extremely difficult to sympathize with a man who, according to the opening sequence, is probably a rapist (even if that detail is somewhat glossed over and he never really acts that way in the film). The frog people are uncomfortably depicted as an oppressed and exploited underclass. While that does seem to be a slight criticism of how the humans have treated them, it's not given much examination, making it feel like another muted voice and potentially a minimization of the real-world analogous problems. There is also the peculiar valorization of pregnancy, even when forcibly administered. However much that seems to fit in with the world as it's designed, it can't help but seem out of place. To be fair, it is slightly better that this is occurring in a female-led society than as a rule imposed by men (and the one man who hates that 'women run too many things' is an irredeemable villain). On the whole, these things are not overly damaging to the film as it is, but could be distracting since they are more serious issues than the movie lets them be. This film is entertaining in spite of some of those weird bits. They almost give it a bit more charm, since they reveal that there was more thought put into this than just making another cheap post-apocalyptic exploitation movie. I'm not sure it comes off in the end as entirely charming (Roddy Piper as Sam is quite likable, but that's just him) but it at least has character. Even if it is a character with some rough edges, those are presented in a way that allows you to question them (or ignore them if you really don't care), and it's entirely possible to enjoy it for the fun parts. Connections to Roadwar 2000  While most of the movie is about the strange world in which humans and sentient mutated frogs are contending with each other in a blasted wasteland world, there are still some connections that can be found with the relatively mundane fighting world of Roadwar. There is actually a bit of vehicular combat, influenced mostly by the Road Warrior, but these cars are outfitted, in a somewhat realistic touch, with more military-grade hardware. A big front-mounted tank weapon is something that would have been pretty fun to have in Roadwar, though it'd probably alter the way combat works a bit too much to do so. The other point where this film matches things in the game is that there is some sort of remnant/provisional government with broad powers but not a broad reach. The GUB in the game is as good as a government as we get, but as we'll see very shortly it cannot do much on its own, and has to enlist ordinary citizens, even if they are criminals. Sam is even someone who'd probably be fairly comfortable having a gang to run with, and the tone of this film is reasonably close to the slightly cheesy tone of the game's story as well.
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Jan 4, 2021 19:53
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...every single sentence just kept getting weirder and weirder. 
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Jan 4, 2021 20:16
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Worth watching once because you'll never see anything quite like it.
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Jan 4, 2021 21:12
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Pretty much the summary could have been reduced to the picture of the frog in a suit with cravat wearing what appears to be species-appropriate sunglasses while inside a darkened room.
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Jan 4, 2021 21:33
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Hard to see because it's a bit dark in that shot, but the frog is also wearing a fez and is maybe a reference to Sydney Greenstreet? Except his name is Leroy.
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Jan 4, 2021 22:58
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Kangra posted:One of the Tacomans said that always struck her as odd, since as she said, "there isn't much worth protecting up there". I read this as "one of the Taco-mans" and it took me a solid five seconds to figure out what was actually going on. Great LP! I love the game itself and the movie reviews.
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Jan 5, 2021 00:01
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Apologies for the week-long break. Events of the past week made it somewhat hard to get through this update, and I was also kind of ill this weekend. But I'll be back on schedule with the next one coming shortly.
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Jan 12, 2021 07:49
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Florida Man Teams Up With Army Ranger With Elpida nudging him, Florida Man stepped forward. "I guess we'll have to accept." Herrell gave a slight sigh of relief. "Good. Now, let's head into my office where I can brief you." The guards dropped their guns to the side and moved away from the Gatormobile. Another two guards appeared from the hall behind Herrell; one took a position behind Florida Man, Cecile, and Elpida, and the other stayed at Herrell's side. The group then proceeded down the metal-lined hallway. After passing numerous doors, they stopped at one on the right side labeled "Director's Office". As Herrell unlocked the door and the guards moved to positions in the hallway opposite the doorway, Florida Man spoke up. "So where are we right now, anyway?" Herrell responded, "Well, you came in through the Ruston tunnel, right? You're under Tacoma right now. Technically, we're under University Place," he added. "Oh, I see. So you can use the university to help you with the research?" "Well, there's no actual university up there," said Herrell, a bit flustered as he opened the door and led them into the room. "Anyway, we need to get down to business. Have a seat. We at the GUB need help, and you've shown that you might be the right people for the job."  When Herrell finished explaining the situation, Florida Man sat for a few seconds lost in thought. Then he said, "So you need... The Gator Goons?" Herrell replied half in thought, "Yes, that is what you call yourselves, then? Yes. The Gator Goons. It crushes me to think of what has to be done, but right now only the powerful gangs are able to undertake the trip around the country that will be necessary to retrieve our scientists." Elpida questioned him, "What is being done to restore the government? Do you have any contact with the President?" Herrell replied, "I can't comment on the President. No one knows his status for sure. But we don't expect that order can be restored until we can stop the pandemic. That's the job of the G.U.B., and we may be the last best hope for the country. If we can't stop the plague, then there's no point in having a government, is there?" Florida Man said, "I have another question. What can you tell me about the" — and his voice dropped a bit lower — " Invaders?" "Your guess is as good as mine. Probably Russians, I would bet. Too well-trained to be some terrorist group. Yes, I know you'll probably encounter some of their squads out there, but you've proven yourselves to be tough so far. They said you took Syracuse, right? Anyway, we don't get many reports on the military situation here. The soldiers from Fort Lewis do a good job keeping us safe and secret. They might know more. But now, I must tell you, time is of the essence. We need you out on the road. It's going to be winter soon, and mountain travel's going to get tough. I hope you can make some headway before the snow comes." Welcome to the 'plot'. The vague hints in the director's journal are the only hint to get you to this point. Now we have an actual goal, however: Find the specialists and return them to the GUB.  With the briefing concluded, the three returned back to the gang later that morning. Florida Man filled in a few of the higher-ranking members on the details. He made the offer that nobody was required to stay; they could leave at any time. But he thought it might be the right thing to do to help out the GUB. Dr. Kassabian asked, "Where do we start? What's the first stop?" Florida Man said, "I don't know, but maybe if we gotta look everywhere, why not head on down to Florida? I bet one of these scientists will be somewhere on the way, or down there already." Cecile spoke up, saying, "Hey, you know, I actually would like to see Vancouver while we're here. It's not far, and then we can head out somewhere else..." Florida Man pursed his lips, thought for a moment, and then smiled. "Sure thing. And Cecile, why don't you ride in the Gatormobile for now. I think it'd be safer."  The ride up to Vancouver was uneventful; the gang bypassed Seattle entirely and upon reaching the Canadian border, had no trouble crossing. The guards seemed a lot friendlier here, and Florida Man's GUB ID gave them the impression he was actually on an important mission. Vancouver itself was a peaceful city, clean, and there was little sign that the pandemic and subsequent chaos in the US had affected them.  The next day, a dark-haired man in his late thirties approached the gang. At first they wondered if he was a new doctor about to make an offer to join up with them, but when he told them his name, Elpida immediately recognized it as one of the team from the GUB. They promised they'd take him back to the lab immediately.  Just after crossing the border, the gang stopped for a break down at the shoreline. There was a wide rocky beach where they could relax, and the pleasant late-summer sun was warm and relaxing. As Florida Man wandered for a short walk on his own up the beach, a dog padded towards him. It was a light brown in color, with a lean body and a scruffy muzzle. It had an old, half-soaked newspaper in its mouth. "Well hey there, fella," said Florida Man as the dog continued to approach. It dropped the newspaper in front of him. "What's this? Must be someone's old news." Florida Man absently scanned the articles. "Army Ranger Simms Mounts Bid For—" The dog barked. Florida Man smiled. "What, Army Ranger Simms? You know the dude?" The dog made no noise, and just walked in a short circle, as if searching around for something on the ground. "Well, hmm, wonder if there's any other news here. 'Man From Florida Claims He's An Alien', well, I hope that's not true." He looked again at the dog. "Now where'd you come from, anyway? Walking around with newspapers?" The dog stopped looking and barked again. "You looking for someone? I bet you're hungry. Let me see, I think I got something here." Florida Man pulled a strip of gator jerky from his pocket. He'd made it back at his home, and although he didn't really like to eat it that much, it reminded him of earlier times. The dog approached him expectantly. Florida Man looked down at the jerky. "Well, I guess I wasn't going to eat this anyway. Here, have some." He tore off a strip and tossed it on the ground. The dog eagerly scooped it up and chewed it for a while, as if uncertain of what it was, but finally swallowed it. Then he barked again. "You want more?" Florida Man stripped off another small piece and held it out. The dog came close, sniffed it, and then took the scrap in its mouth. "Well, come on, Army Ranger Simms or whoever you are. Wanna come back with us?" Florida Man turned and walked back down the beach. The dog followed along. When he returned to the group, he told them the dog's name was "Army Ranger Simms" and that's what stuck. Dr. Kassabian told him the dog was a lurcher, and added, "You don't see too many of them in the US. Wonder where he came from?"  Upon arrival in Tacoma, Florida Man took off with Pintero, Cecile, and Army Ranger Simms in the Gatormobile down to the hidden tunnel entrance. When they stopped the car, Florida Man honked the horn to show his presence. The voice asked the question, "What's the first page of the road combat rules?" Florida Man said smugly, "I got this the answer is Christma- wait, what? Did they change it? What combat rules?" Cecile responded, "Did they give you some sort of guidelines for being out here? I bet it's some military rules of engagement thingy." Pintero interjected, "I think I know this. We had a set of rules, covers every... eventuality." He called out to the voice, "It's page 12, open up!" The tunnel opened and they drove on toward the lab's entrance. "Weird that I know that so well, huh," said Pintero off-handedly. Director Herrell greeted them again at the end of the tunnel. "Back already? Who's that with you this time -- ah, Pablo!" He turned in amazement to Florida Man. "How did you find Pablo so quickly? He had to be hundreds of miles away by now." Pintero responded, "Well, I started out in Canada. Worked my way westward. Last few months I've been in Vancouver. It's pretty nice there." Herrell seemed a bit shocked. "Didn't you hear from any of our agents? That's right near by, you must have known it was time to return." Pedro Pintero shrugged. "I heard rumors, but nothing definite. Figured if you really needed me back down here someone would come to get me. When this guy crossed the border one of the agents came to notify me right away. Well, who else is back inside?" Herrell wiped his brow. "You're the first, really. But come on, let's get your data downloaded." To Florida Man he nodded and said, "Thanks. But you've got to keep looking. The rest of them are out there. Try to find a few at a time if you can." Army Ranger Simms barked, as if agreeing that this was a good idea. Florida Man chuckled and drove back down the tunnel.  With a successful operation for the GUB under their belt, the Gator Goons headed south down the freeway to Oregon. As they approached the Columbia River, scouts were sent out to determine the status of the city of Portland. Upon discovering that it'd been taken over by the Invaders, the Goons just drove on around the city without even bothering to stop.  They made it to Salem, the sometime capital of the state, just a few hours later. Almost immediately, they found themselves under attack. It wasn't clear if it was a small unit of the Invader army or just some local militia that had taken over the capitol building. Fortunately the fighting was over quickly. Afterward, the Gator Goons realized that it was up to them to assume control of the city. Jack pointed out that this city, along with Spokane, would make for good safe stops on the last leg of a trip back to the GUB, in case there was any trouble on the way.  A brief trip to Springfield, a short ways south of Salem, revealed that it, too, was solidly in the hands of the Invaders. The gang returned to Salem, and Florida Man made sure to install a new city government that was authorized to protect the town and keep the state capitol building secure.  There'd been some gradual losses in the minor skirmishes and scouting missions. An appeal was sent out to the locals in Salem to join the gang if they wanted to see more of the country. A lot of people showed up, although hardly any of them displayed any fighting skill to speak of.  Nevertheless, the Goons needed the numbers. A few days later, they were on the highway westward. Florida Man intended to head down to Florida, but figured if he had to look for these other GUB scientists, the gang should make its way through as many cities as possible.  They were somewhere around the small town of Pendleton, in eastern Oregon, when they were attacked by a renegade militia group. Florida Man offered to let Cecile get into the Gatormobile, but took one look at Army Ranger Simms sitting in the front seat and said she'd rather get back in the trailer truck.  It didn't look to be part of any official military unit; just some overdressed backwoods anti-government group that was riding around in two beat-up Plymouth station wagons and an old Ford Escort.  The militia men seemed to be in a drunken rage and veered all over the highway median in a path the Freightliner found hard to avoid.  Some of the men on top of the Ford tried to make their way up onto the Mack truck, but it did not take long to kick them off.  After the first wagon had slammed into the Freightliner, the rest of the gang made sure to give the other vehicles a wide berth. It didn't take long before the Ford Escort was surrounded and all inhabitants shot dead.  That left only the other wagon. With Cecile directing another broadside from the Frieghtliner, it was rapidly driven off and the Gator Goons were victorious. Florida Man noted that Army Ranger Simms had been moaning during the firefight, and gently patted his head to calm him down.  There was some concern that similar groups might be trying to attack them again, but the group had to at least stop to make what fixes they could on the tires.  Fortunately everyone seemed to steer clear of them. Four days after they'd left Salem, they were in Idaho, at the town of Boise.  Once news that a new gang had arrived spread through the town, a shifty looking man in a black sweatshirt showed up at the Gator Goons' camp. He said he had news, if they really were the 'right people'. Once Florida Man flashed the GUB ID, the agent revealed information he'd gathered on Alec Trotier, one of the scientists. He only knew the general region of the doctor, and as a left he told them he was leaving the mountains before the weather got worse, and suggested that they ought to do the same.  Boise actually was in better shape than the gang had expected; it seemed the ravages of the disease hadn't affected them so much, and the war had kind of passed them by.  Nevertheless, the group was on a mission, and it wasn't worth it to spend any more time than was necessary in the sparsely-populated mountain towns.  An incident free-trip down into the Great Basin allowed the gang to make it to Salt Lake City in only a couple of more days.  They discovered to their surprise that the city, once the center of the Mormon faith, had been all but abandoned. The LDS church's larger operations had apparently folded, and only a small remnant remained to keep the temple in operation. None of them had any interest in taking over the city government. But Florida Man didn't see a need to take the city, either. Jack said it might be nice to ensure a safe outpost here in the middle of the West, and Elpida said she was inclined to agree, but neither of them really seemed to press the point. Salt Lake City would remain in the hands of nobody. This week's film: Def-Con 4 Kangra fucked around with this message at 18:36 on Jul 14, 2022 |
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Jan 12, 2021 08:01
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Army Ranger Simms sounds like a very good boy 
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Jan 12, 2021 15:01
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Def-Con 4 "You think I'm ruthless because I wanna be. It's the only way to administer limited resources in an unstable situation, can't you see that?"  Synopsis There's a title card indicating that new defense systems mean nuclear war is not possible, and then we start on an orbiting spacecraft over a year into its long-term mission. It seems the three astronauts onboard can only get occasional messages from their loved ones, and two-way communication is for some reason disallowed. They then watch with mounting dismay as international relations spiral out of control, and nuclear war becomes imminent. We then discover that they are in fact part of the 'defense' system and are actually responsible for sending space-launched missiles. They start to observe launches and detonations on the ground. Two of the three decide they should hold off their launch because they did not receive the proper authorization indicating that DEFCON 1 was reached (despite the title, their last orders seem to indicate DEFCON 2) and the world explodes into violence below them. After two months, the crew debates whether to return to the surface, as they've received no orders. One of them, Howe, who seems to be the main technical officer, has reason to believe his wife is alive. The crew's doctor, Jordan, doesn't have anyone to go back to but seems to favor landing rather than staying up in space. The commander, Walker, overrules them both and decides to stay. However, their hand is forced when a message comes in that takes control of the control computer and forces them to de-orbit. Before doing so, they must arm and discharge their payload. They do so, although one bomb (armed to detonate in 60 hours) gets stuck. They crash on a beach (as we later discover, somewhere in the Maritimes in Canada). Jordan is injured and unconscious, and the hatch is buried in sand. Howe and Walker start to dig their way out when they hear tapping and knocking coming from outside. As soon as they get part of the way out, Walker is grabbed and apparently eaten by whoever (or whatever) is outside of the vessel. Howe sneaks out at night and leaves a message for Jordan that he'll try to get help. Howe eventually discovers the cannibals; he escapes from them only to be caught in a trap set by a large man named Vinnie. He promises to Vinnie that he'll share the supplies of food on his ship. Vinnie is unwilling to make any sort of deal other than just taking his food and allowing the cannibals to get Howe afterward. While Vinnie goes out to check on some of his traps, a woman being held prisoner in the basement pops up to scavenge from Vinnie's stores of food. She isn't willing to untie Howe until he mentions he has food; she makes a deal that if he gives her half his food, she'll lead him to a boat. The are about to get away when Vinnie returns. Vinnie is about to simply kill Howe, but when Howe mentions Jordan, Vinnie is suddenly interested in taking her as well, so he makes a deal with Howe. Howe and Vinnie leave with the captive woman, whose name is 'JJ' (Jacquelyn Jameson), in Vinnie's armored bulldozer. On the way, they fight off some people JJ calls 'terminals'. At the beach, Vinnie ties a rope to JJ and tells her to scout for the crashed ship. At that point, another man who knows Vinnie shows up. Vinnie immediately buttons up and tries to escape, but the man's gang attaches chains to his vehicle and then get him to bail out by throwing in a fake grenade. All three are taken back to a slave camp, which they discover is run by a young man named Gideon. He's an affable dictator, sort of a spoiled trust-fund type. Initially he seems interested in Howe, but then his lieutenant, Lacey (the man who captured them), reports that they've found the ship already. Howe is thrown into a pit in the ground. In the pit, Howe discovers that Jordan has also been captured, and is being held in an adjacent pit with JJ. JJ explains that Gideon is actually her boyfriend ('ex', she says now) and that after the war started, she was taken along with Gideon and his parents in a Navy helicopter. With them was some strange satellite equipment and a man named Boomer, some sort of computer expert. She's pretty sure Boomer is the one responsible for bringing down the ship from space. Boomer, it turns out, is now being held prisoner by Gideon. He's trying to force the computer password out of him so he can locate the 'survival stations' that he might be able to sail to. Gideon taunts the starving Boomer with food; Boomer says he has nothing to live for anyway and gives up the password. Gideon does give him the food, but not before stamping it into the dirt. Gideon brings in JJ and offers to take her back, and then leave with him to the survival station. She refuses him; he sends her back into the hole and announces that there will be a 'trial' in the morning. The trial the next day is of course a farce of justice. Gideon presents himself as judge; he accuses the two astronauts of participation in the nuclear war, JJ of 'treason', and Vinnie of crimes too well-known to enumerate. The assembled crowd stands as the jury, but naturally not a single person is willing to stand up against the obvious intentions of Gideon, and all are found guilty.  The condemned are taken to a scaffolding and nooses are placed on their necks. Gideon declares that he is feeling 'generous' and will pardon one of them on the condition that they pull the lever to hang the others. After some deliberation, Howe steps forward (though it's clear that he's only doing so to buy time). He's led to the lever with guns pointed at his head. However, just then, Boomer, who's managed to crawl his way out of the room where Gideon had left him, finds a gun and shoots Gideon. In the confusion Howe escapes from the camp, although the others remain. Gideon is alive but injured, so they bring Jordan down to take care of him. She forces him to call off the hangings if she helps him. She tends to his wound, and he reveals that he plans to have Vinnie and JJ killed anyway. He then asks for a shot of painkiller. She tries to inject him with a lethal dose of potassium; he is aware of the ruse immediately and manages to turn the tables and inject her instead. As Gideon and a few of his closest cronies prepare to depart, JJ is brought to him for one last chance to be 'forgiven'. Vinnie is taken out of his hole and led to a wall to be shot by a firing squad. Howe, meanwhile, has retrieved a rifle from Vinnie's house and killed the guards at the sailboat. He then gets Vinnie's bulldozer out and saves Vinnie's life. The two grab as many guns as they can and distribute them to the people in the camp, who start an uprising. Vinnie and Howe get to Gideon's office to discover that he's left already. They drive off in the bulldozer to catch the sailboat, but get there just as it is leaving. At the camp, we see that the uprising is being put down in a brutal fashion. On board the ship, Gideon gathers the guns from all his guards on board, including Lacey. He then shoots everyone but Lacey (and JJ). Howe is able to swim out to the ship and signals to JJ, who throws him a rope. He gets on board and tosses Lacey off the ship. He threatens Gideon, but Gideon grabs JJ and starts to cut her throat. Howe jumps back off the ship, but continues to fight and as he fires off his gun at Gideon, JJ pulls the yardarm and knocks Gideon overboard. Gideon and Lacey arrive back at the camp to discover the massacred bodies of the civilians. Just as they enter the camp, Gideon notices the warhead in the spaceship, and asks, "Shouldn't all those be empty?" Seconds later, the camp erupts in a mushroom cloud as we see the sailboat heading off to safety.  This starts out almost as a tense nuclear-war drama, with all the scenes on the spaceship played fairly straight, but eventually turns into a sort of darkly comic (or maybe horrific) action film that fits more in with the typical post-apocalyptic fare. There's an over-the-top quality to a lot of it combined with a realist style, mixed with a low-budget Canuxploitation sensibility that gives it a dark edge. It's fairly messy, but reasonably well-made within its own constraints. Most of the drama never quite lands due to somewhat uneven acting; almost everyone aside from Maury Chaykin as Vinnie is overacting a bit (even Chaykin gets there at some points but he has a marvelously understated creepiness a lot of the time). The humor is maybe too dry to make it enjoyable for that alone. The one thing that it really does well is induce a sense of discomfort in the audience, especially the horror of living at the whims of an unpredictable dictator. Many post-apocalyptic films will use the setting to showcase the darker side of human exploitation, and just how quickly some people will resort to violence when society has broken down. What this film really does well is explore just what it is like to feel that oppression, especially when the people who hold power are capricious and terrifyingly strong. Initially Vinnie seems like he's going to be the main villain, as he intimidates the weak-willed Howe by flatly refusing to make a deal and casually brokers a deal with him to take Jordan captive, as if Howe somehow has control of her. But once Gideon shows up, we find that the protagonists are in a much more desperate situation. There are constant details that reinforce the sense of desperation people might feel in this world. There's constant degradation of the prisoners by the guards, the enthusiasm of the 'jury' to see an execution, and even the ways in which Gideon talks on a pretended equal level to the people he has bound and unable to escape (like Boomer). Even if some of these elements are intended for shock value, the net effect of living under an unstable regime is palpable. There are a fair number of plot elements that just don't make much sense (like why the missiles have to be armed to jettison them) but the film moves smoothly enough past those hiccoughs that most of them can be forgiven. Sometimes the information is revealed in a realistic manner that requires a bit more effort and could have been done better, such as when Jordan 'poisons' Gideon, and we only see her dead body much later. It's not really a comedy, but there are fairly dry, ironic bits of humor that can be found (such as when the final text says "Mankind can now rest in peace"). There's also some outright weirdness, like Howe's sister sending a message asking if he's "getting any" right in front of his wife. Those points actually kind of increase the whole sense of discomfort that develops throughout the film, and make some of the shocking parts work a bit better because of the generally uneasy mood. While I'm not entirely sure this is a good film, it certainly surprised me. It seems to be billed as more of a 'survival in the wasteland' movie, but the parts in space last a good twenty minutes. Indeed, the 'wasteland' isn't really one, just a part of Canada that seems relatively untouched by the war itself, aside from the dwindling supplies. The dark tone (near the end we see bodies piled up in scenes reminiscent of genocides) was also unexpected. I think perhaps I would have wanted to see a slightly more polished effort, given what it's going for.  Connections to Roadwar 2000 While the game doesn't have a nuclear exchange on the level shown here, the situation depicted actually fits the world of Roadwar reasonably well. With Defcon-4 there are pockets of functioning groups of people, and enough supplies to live by scavenging, but the breakdown of the global economy is causing them to be isolated and violent. There's only one vehicle in the film (Vinnie's armored one), and not much combat other than when Howe and Vinnie first break out, followed by the failed uprising. Most of these outcomes actually seem much more realistic than anything in the game, of course, and the tone of the film is appropriately depressing. The film also seems to be decently depicting what such a world might look like, since it's fairly dirty and gross but most people haven't really started dressing in weird outfits (though some clearly no longer care about fashion). The world of Roadwar is of course a bit more stylized, but this is kind of a peek at what such a situation might really start to resemble. To be fair, in Roadwar there seems to be at least some semblance of the previous economy, but it's one that for the moment is only ruled by force instead of any sort of functioning government.
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Jan 16, 2021 09:21
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That film doesn’t sound that great, honestly. But thanks for mentioning it. Can’t wait to see what Florida Man does next.
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Jan 16, 2021 16:41
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Wait, so the big bad found the... crashed? spacecraft, brought it back to their base, were sitting on it for a day or two, and only at the very end did anyone notice that it still had a nuke in it?
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Jan 16, 2021 17:10
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This movie scarred me as a kid with a scene shortly after the cannibals pull out the injured guy, there's a brief shot where they're cutting up his rear end like a christmas ham.
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Jan 16, 2021 22:27
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Scaramouche posted:This movie scarred me as a kid with a scene shortly after the cannibals pull out the injured guy, there's a brief shot where they're cutting up his rear end like a christmas ham. I watched this as a kid at some point as well but the only scene that stuck with me was the one with the satellite cameras watching all the bombs go off in the cities. I completely forgot about everything else about the movie but that scene stayed in my brain for years and years without me ever knowing where it was from.
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Jan 17, 2021 01:07
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Randalor posted:Wait, so the big bad found the... crashed? spacecraft, brought it back to their base, were sitting on it for a day or two, and only at the very end did anyone notice that it still had a nuke in it? Like much of the plot, you can infer an explanation but there wasn't a lot of effort put into making it really work. For this, it's likely Gideon was only interested in the computer (I think) and maybe the food inside. He's probably the only one who knew its military purpose, so no one else would have found it odd, and he didn't even bother looking at it when they brought it in. Obviously it's really only like that for the joke, though to be fair, the countdown on the timer is shown throughout the film so the audience knows it's coming at some point. Even Howe had suspected it had malfunctioned but got distracted by the cannibals. Kibayasu posted:I watched this as a kid at some point as well but the only scene that stuck with me was the one with the satellite cameras watching all the bombs go off in the cities. I completely forgot about everything else about the movie but that scene stayed in my brain for years and years without me ever knowing where it was from. It's probably hard to place because the scenes on the ship are intensely channeling 2001 so they look a lot different from the scuzziness on the surface.
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Jan 17, 2021 04:14
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Florida Man Unearths Military Relic Salt Lake City was a decent place to rest for a day or two. Since there were a lot of people wanting to get out of the town, the gang was able to increase its numbers. Jack and Cecile noted that it was still pretty unfortunate that so many of them were not actually ready for combat, and were destined to become casualties.  The Gator Goons headed down the road to Provo to see if there was anything of greater interest there, or perhaps any news on the GUB scientists. They found the town to be a lot more closed-off than Salt Lake. Most of the citizens there had decided to just barricade themselves in their homes and ride out the apocalypse, and were having no dealings with people from other parts of the country.  After a couple more days resting up, the gang headed out into the Wasatch Range. People in the city had told them it wouldn't be long before it would drop below freezing at night. Florida Man really wanted to get through the Rockies before that happened.  On the high winding roads in western Colorado, the gang encountered a small patrol of another so-called 'militia' group. When they approached the two vehicles, they could hear them radioing desperately for backup. The goons would need to take them out quickly.  The Gator Goons nevertheless approached a bit cautiously, as they were aware of the old tactic of the Furies, which meant ramming a vehicle in the hopes that later reinforcements could finish it off.  It nevertheless seemed as if the Freightliner was destined to take another blow from a smaller vehicle colliding with it.  But the driver was at this point well-experienced with what her truck could do, and swerved easily past the enemy car. Cecile directed a blast out the back that took out the small convertible.  Unfortunately, that only led to an actual collision, as moments later the other car, knowing it was doomed, rammed itself straight into the side of the trailer.  Losses were light, although the damage was significant enough that they would need to stop for repairs in whatever city they encountered next.  They weren't out of the mountains yet. A rowdy gang of cannibals drove up in three small cars. Dr. Kassabian observed, "You just find these crazy types everywhere, don't you?"  Florida Man led a charge to engage them at close range. He blasted away with the shotgun while Army Ranger Simms tried to dive under the seat. Florida Man called out, "It's okay boy, this'll be over soon!"  The battle was, indeed, handled quickly, as the Mack truck polished off the few of the crazed human vermin who persisted in the assault. Unfortunately one of the Cannibals' cars managed to smack the front end of the Gatormobile, leaving an unsightly dent.  Just a few days after they'd left Salt Lake City, they made it to Denver, on the eastern slope of the Rockies. They found that one of the local crime families had seized power.  While searching for repair garages, the group stumbled upon what they initially thought was an abandoned bus in the parking lot. It was painted bright green and had a picture of a smiling turtle on the side. When they tried to force open the doors, however, they saw motion inside and someone shouted, "Hey, hey, I'll open up, hold your horses, people." A disheveled-looking man in a tattered bathrobe came to the front and unlocked the door. He had a patch of curly white hair on his head and peered out from the bus's door with reddened eyes. "Hey, if you're looking for a ride, sorry, we had to shut down. You want anything else, you won't get much food from me. Don't have much as it is." Florida Man was called over to talk to the man, whose name was Harold. He said that he'd been helping people travel around the country to get to their homes, but as the roads became less safe and fuel became harder to come by, it wasn't really possible to travel out there. Elpida asked him, "So what do you do now?" Harold said, "I guess I've just been living in here. It's pretty comfortable. Sometimes I let people stay inside, but you do gotta be careful sometimes." Elpida responded, "I think we can make an arrangement here. If your vehicle is working, we could use you." She paused for a moment. "There might be difficulties out on the road. Sometimes we encounter... hostile parties." The man lifted his hands uncertainly. "I don't know man, not sure I want to deal with that. Seems safer here." Elpida smiled slightly, and said, "What will you do here? Are you going to just roll around Denver all day? I think the mafia will get you before too long." Harold suddenly looked worried. "Wait, mafia? What would they be doing here?" Florida Man answered, "They own this town, didn't you know, man?" Harold hesitated for a second, and then looked at the rest of the gang. Then he said, "Well, I guess it might be worth it to have some driving to do. Change of scenery, all that."  They spent a little more time in Denver searching for repair facilities, but no auto garages were to be found. Reluctantly Florida Man said they could try searching in the smaller surrounding cities. He didn't want to hit the road with the Gatormobile dinged as it was, but couldn't waste too much time in one place. The expanding size of the gang meant food consumption was slowly starting to become in issue.  Heading south, the gang decided to scout into the surrounding hills for either food or extra fuel. Florida Man was out wandering with Army Ranger Simms when suddenly the dog barked and started pawing at the ground. He couldn't see what the dog was looking at, and wondered if some animal had been buried there. Cecile had joined them once she heard the barking, but she didn't notice anything on the ground either. Army Ranger Simms began digging. Then Cecile grabbed Florida Man's arm. "Look," she cried, pointing down the slope of the hill. "Out there, there's a road!" A few hundred yards away could be seen an apparently abandoned road that was now mostly covered in dirt. "You think it leads under here?" Florida Man had hunched to the ground to assist with what Army Ranger Simms was searching for. After a few moments, there was a clinking sound as he pulled up a broken metal pipe. "Well, there's something here, all right. Not sure what." He used the pipe to continue with the excavation and Cecile went to call for others to help. A half hour later, the gang had dug down two more feet, and uncovered the metal roof of a wide tunnel. At its edge was a broad rim on which letters were affixed, reading "CHEYENNE MOUNTAIN COMPLEX". Florida Man looked down and exclaimed, "This place? They got all the secrets down there!"  A little more digging, and they were below the opening of the tunnel. While there was still a large dirt pile beneath them, they could see that most of the interior of it leading into the mountain had not collapsed. Florida Man was contemplating making another tunnel in the side of the mountain to surprise them, but decided going straight in was the best way. He told the others he was going to crawl into the tiny space they'd cleared. He'd slipped his legs and was having trouble squeezing through, when from below he heard a crisp voice declaring, "All right folks. That's far enough. We've got our guns out and ready to shoot, so don't come any further in." Florida Man called out, "Hey, just, uh, wondering if anyone was still okay in there? You might have been trapped a while, wondering how it is out here, huh?" The man below spoke again. "Well, you have our gratitude for helping to clear the tunnel, but we can manage from here. And we really didn't need the help." Florida Man cried out, "Wait, wait, I got something to show you!" He reached in his pocket and threw down his wallet into the tunnel. "What's that? Stop!" The voice was suddenly much louder. "Hold still!" Florida Man spoke again, a little meekly. "No, no, I'm ... I'm with the GUB. See, you can check in my wallet. That's it, down there." Outside of the tunnel, Cecile stared at Florida Man incredulously. "Did you seriously just throw your wallet in there?" In the shadowy tunnel, Florida Man could see someone approaching the wallet he'd thrown down. They appeared to poke at it, and then picked it up gingerly. "Bring it here," said the voice below. There was some more sounds of movement inside the tunnel, and then a flashlight clicked on. It was aimed first at the wallet, then turned up toward Florida Man's half-inserted body. He leaned himself over and tried to wave as best he could. "I'm here to help. You got anybody hiding out with you? GUB doctors?" The man ignored the question and then could be heard talking with someone on a radio telephone. After about thirty seconds, he made an announcement up toward Florida Man. "All right! You, and just you, come down. You're not getting inside. We can talk here." With a bit more effort Florida Man grunted and then went sliding down the dirt pile.  After another half hour, he called up and said, "Hey, try to clear the tunnel a bit more, could you?" With the opening enlarged a bit more, Florida Man, his clothes covered in dirt, crawled out from the below the tunnel mouth. He was followed by a well-built man in an Air Force uniform, who introduced himself as Master Sergeant Leonard Adams. "Lennie's agreed to travel with us. Maybe serve as personal guard for the scientists we get. And help us fight back the Invaders when we have to." "You know, we probably wouldn't have found you if it hadn't been for Army Ranger Simms." Sergeant Adams asked, "You have someone with the Army with you? Where? I'd like to meet them." Florida Man called out, "Army Ranger Simms, boy, where are you?" Adams let out a shocked "Boy?" before turning to see the tan dog bounding down the slope to Florida Man. He processed the thought for a moment, and then laughed. "This is Army Ranger Simms?" Florida Man grinned and rubbed the dog's head. "Sure is!" Then he added, "Hey, Simms, this guy's in the real army, you know." "We're actually Air Force here, sir," responded Adams as he held his hand out toward Army Ranger Simms. "Looks like you knew the right place to look." Then he stood up. "Well, your little 'army ranger' made a good start, since we couldn't get the real Corps of Engineers to come out and clear it. They'll be fine inside, but it might be time for them to uncover the road anyway." The Drill Sergeant is the last of our 'cronies'. Drill Sergeants improve the rate of promotion after battle, and also prevent losses due to desertion (which occurs most commonly when scouting). As a result, we'll have a much easier time keeping the gang strength up and won't have to constantly be recruiting.  Florida Man asked Sergeant Adams if he knew who controlled the local cities. He had said that all he knew was that they'd declined to use martial law to take over the city, and had instead retreated into the mountain while other units were called up to fight the enemy on the coasts. It wasn't too surprising, though, when they learned that the mafia had spread its influence outside the borders of Denver.  What they did notice was that most of the townsfolk were unwilling to engage with any outside group. It wasn't clear if they feared retaliation from the mob, or just were naturally untrusting. But Florida Man really wanted to fill the seats on the new bus, so the recruitment effort continued.  Later that day, they returned to Denver and Adams led them to a body shop that he knew about. It had been abandoned for months, but the tools seemed to be in working order and the vehicles were all fixed up in no time.  Florida Man knew they'd need even more fuel to keep all the big vehicles moving. Acting on more advice from Sergeant Adams, he sent the crew out to scavenge oil supplies at the nearest source. Unsurprisingly, it was well-defended.  It turned out to be another small 'militia' group that was vying for control of the precious gasoline tanks. Their force consisted of a Ford van outfitted with protective grills and roof-mounted radio equipment, along with two smaller cars that had been painted a drab green color.  The Gator Goons pushed forward through the rough scrub brush on a broad slope. Harold's bus had been ordered to stay off to one side but prepare volleys in case they were needed.  The terrain proved a lot harder to navigate through than expected; the locals who seemed to know the tracks better were able to close in on the bus while the trucks struggled to find a route. Florida Man snaked the Gatormobile on a line directly ahead of them to provide a distracting target.  Only some of the militia group took the bait; a fair number still focused their attacks on the thinly-armored bus.  Harold was starting to panic as he tried to slow and then turn around his ungainly green vehicle.  It all was happening too slowly, as first the van and then a car smashed into its side before it could bring the guns around to bear on them.  Florida Man had to slam down on the accelerator to outrun the remaining enemy car.  Eventually the Hyundai pulled up along the side of the militia's car and finished off the crew.  To their surprise, the Gator Goons found that there were no oil tanks, wells, or pumps to be found nearby. It was a mystery as to what this group had even been trying to defend.  Harold was shaken but still alive. "Man, you guys gotta protect me better than that next time!" he shouted.  The 'next time' came mere minutes later, as a large group of Cannibals showed up, apparently having heard the sounds of the firefight.  This enemy had their own bus filled with raving violent gang members. It was a battered old yellow school bus, with a fair bit of rust -- or blood -- staining the sides.  Harold rushed to drive towards safety as the rest of the goons drove down the treacherous hillside.  But he still couldn't get his bus to turn away, and the enemies once again chose him as the nearest target.  A massive burst of gunfire erupted from the school bus and knocked down almost half of the people inside Harold's own bus.  There was a slight cheer, though, when as many as could still fire shot back and eliminated the smallest car on the other side.  To Harold's luck, the Cannibal bus decided to engage with the rapidly-approaching Mack truck and Chevy van.  It drove right into the middle of the Gator Goons, but the crazed occupants fired with surprising accuracy, knocking two of Florida Man's crew from the top of his Pontiac.  Harold was bravely putting just enough distance between his vehicle and the enemy's second-biggest target, a Chevy pickup truck.  The school bus, meanwhile, had pulled up behind the Mack truck. A savage group of men and women wielding machetes lunged on to the rear of the trailer.  An intense struggle began as the topside crew found itself quickly outnumbered by the bloodthirsty intruders.  Harold had made the turn to safety at last, although it was looking as if the Hyundai was about to sacrifice itself to save the bus.  The pickup wasn't looking to ram, however; they just wanted to get close enough to leap onboard the car. Only a handful of people made it, though, and they were quickly beaten back.  The situation on the Mack was much grimmer, however. The Cannibals were ferocious fighters.  But as the rest of the gang's cars came to the rescue, the school bus was finally eliminated.  The Stellar spun around and knocked out the pickup truck as well, and the battle was won.  The battle was won, but the spoils still weren't that impressive. It seemed as if this fuel depot was unlikely to yield much more.  The gang returned to Denver, but that night one of the mafia's groups (or possibly some cannibals on the prowl) made a probing attack. They couldn't stick around for much longer.  After going back to the repair shop Sergeant Adams had shown them, they decided to move on. The group leadership thought should get more fuel, and Florida Man said the best place he knew that had oil would be Texas. He informed the Gator Goons that they were about to head south. This week's film: World Gone Wild
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Jan 22, 2021 07:02
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We’re going to Texas? Hooray! Nice title for the next film too.
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Jan 22, 2021 14:59
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Ah yes, the bus. Definitely one of my favorite vehicles in this game due to not only it's ramming potential but the ability to stuff it full of people and positioning it just right to give the enemy a full broadside. Not much survives a volley from a well crewed bus.
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Jan 24, 2021 15:00
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World Gone Wild "Like the man used to say, nothing makes any sense in a world gone wild."  It is the year 2087. Seventy-five years ago, a nuclear war erupted and 'a cruel trick was played on the survivors' in that rain has not come down for fifty years. The man speaking (who has a somewhat snarky tone) tells us that he has managed to survive in a small settlement known as Lost Wells that has access to water. We see that Lost Wells is built around a junkyard of cars. A group of students are being taught on a broken-down school bus that serves as a classroom; they have only four books, one of which is an Emily Post guide to etiquette. The kids aren't able to learn much from it, but somehow it turns out to be fortuitous, as there is an announcement that visitors have arrived. The visitors are a group of white-robed men and boys who show up in a helicopter (pulled along on a wheeled cart by people). Their leader, a man named Derek Abernathy, exits and the villagers welcome them. Derek makes some odd comments about searching for 'truth and love' and his own dreams. Then Derek and his followers pull out guns from under their robes and start massacring the villagers. After the fighting, Derek confronts Ethan, a man dressed more or less like an aging hippie (he's the narrator from the opening). Derek mentions that he's heard tales that Ethan has 'magical powers' but leans in close and says he thinks that that story might just as much bullshit as the stories told about himself. Derek kidnaps some of the kids to 'replace' his losses, and also takes one woman from the village. He promises he'll come back eventually for more. Ethan tells the schoolteacher, Angie, that in order to deal with Derek's crazy cult, they'll need to go to the city, 500 miles distant, for help. He knows of a man named George, who he says is "a hero, he just doesn't know it yet", and the two drive off to the city. When they arrive, Angie is shocked to find that all of the inhabitants are crying out for water from a rationing truck. The situation worsens when a motorcycle gang shows up to steal the water from those who just got their ration. One of the ration workers can't accept this, and pulls off his mask and starts fighting. Ethan recognizes him as George, and stops him in the act of chasing off the gang so he can tell him he needs him to save the village. Ethan apparently raised George as a child, but it's been a long time since then. Ethan promises to reward George handsomely (with water), so George agrees to come. However, the leader of the biker gang, Hank, returns and is about to kill George. He lets up when George desperately promises a water reward to him. They go on to recruit two more to their side, two sideshow hucksters named Exline and Nitro. We get a brief glimpse of what life is like in Derek's camp. It turns out they have only one book in their possession... and it's The Wit and Wisdom of Charles Manson. Derek makes a speech from the book to the cult and they pray to him. On the way back to Lost Wells, Angie comes under attack by two cannibals. As George is fighting them off, he recognizes one of them as an old companion of his, Ten Watt, and tells him to come along with them, too. Angie is terrified by the prospect of having to rely on such characters to save their town. Ethan tells her that's why he prefers to live away from reality, in the 'land of the mushroom'. The mercenaries are overjoyed to see that the well actually exists. They begin to form defenses for the town. Hank has the people move out of the cars they use as homes and piles them up to make a wall. The villagers dig a ditch and Ten Watt gathers snakes and scorpions to toss into it. Exline finds the lack of alcohol upsetting so he crafts a still. Nitro sets up explosive charges at strategic points around the camp. Ethan and George have a talk about the old days, when they used to run around together fighting their way through the wasteland, an occupation Ethan has long since given up. George is still uncertain about wanting to stay and help Ethan. Ethan then gives George one of his mushroom 'potions', causing him to have a terrifying vision of being tortured and killed by Derek. He wakes up in Angie's bed and she tries to comfort him. He takes it too far and attempts to assault her, causing her to kick him in the crotch so he gets the message. That night, Hank comes to Angie and also tries to force himself on her. George sees what's happening and draws a gun on him. Angie then gets the gun, and Hank rides off from the town. Hank goes to Derek and tells him about what the villagers are doing, and offers to fight for him instead. Derek, however, has no need for a 'disloyal' mercenary. George comes to the camp and sees Hank strung up in a manner reminiscent of his own vision.  The next day, the villages continue to prepare the defenses. George tells Ethan they could use his magic, although Ethan calmly smokes a joint and tells George, "I expect you to be my magic." George decides to clean himself up a bit and tries to impress Angie at the school bus (and maybe get a reading lesson). At that moment, they get word that Derek is approaching. Derek notices the car wall, but drives straight through the gate into the town without a concern. He confronts Ethan, who remarks with mock surprise, "Oh! You're back!" Derek deposits the dead body of the woman he'd captured, complaining that she had knifed him, and says he wants "an exchange". He mentions that the walls didn't really do much to keep him out, to which George replies that they weren't meant to. At a signal from Ethan, Nitro blows a charge that drops several cars to block the entrance, and then the villagers attack. Almost all of Derek's men are killed or driven off. Derek manages to escape through a gap where the cars fell and starts to ride off. George's job is actually to finish him off by firing a gun at a hidden placement of dynamite, but when he goes to do it, it turns out he hadn't loaded the ammo in his gun. After the battle, the villagers discover that the well has somehow gone dry. The mercenaries have no reason to stay, but George decides to hang around anyway, and this convinces the rest to remain. Ethan then appears and happily turns the water back on; it appears to actually be coming from a hidden pipe. That night, George is teaching Angie about dancing, and it appears they're about to have a romantic moment. It's interrupted when Derek returns, with fresh troops and some sort of military vehicle with a machine gun on it. Derek starts shooting up the town, with the defenders mostly caught by surprise. Ten Watt gets captured and Derek demands to know where George is. Exline is found near the still and manages to coerce two of the enemy soldiers into having a drink with him. Nitro has his grenades at the ready, though, and when he becomes enraged when one of the children he'd been protecting is shot, he starts fighting back and blows up the vehicle. George rushes to the fight but gets wounded in the shoulder. Another cultist is about to get George when Ethan shows up and takes care of the enemy for him. Ethan says he's on his way out of there, on his way to "the sky" or "maybe even heaven", and walks off. Nitro rescues Ten Watt and forces Derek to run away. As Derek tries to flee in his car, George pulls his weapon and hits the dynamite at just the right moment, blowing the car up. Except he didn't get Derek, who is right behind him with a gun at his ear. They fight for a bit in hand-to-hand combat. Derek clearly has the upper hand. Exline is still drinking with the soldiers, but as they observe the fight, they pull their guns and prepare to do him in. Instead, he lights up a cigarette, causing the still to explode. An on-fire Exline rushes out toward Derek, engulfing both of them in flames. Ethan, in an apparent final act of protest against the craziness of the world, mounts a platform he has built and then sets it on fire. Before he can immolate himself, though, there is a crack of lightning, and water starts to fall from the sky. Rain has returned; the fire around Ethan is put out and he has to remain among the living.  The film is basically a post-apocalyptic version of The Seven Samurai (or possibly The Magnificent Seven, given that several characters are dressed in an Old West style). Even with a plotline as strong as that to model, it's still a bit disjointed and nonsensical. However, it generally makes up for that with the entertaining characters and competence in a lot of other aspects. The director, Lee Katzin, had been working for quite some time, mostly in television, including some early western series, so that's not too surprising. The acting is almost universally great (especially Adam Ant as Derek, and Bruce Dern as Ethan), and most of the time the film looks decent visually if not overly impressive. It does a good job referencing the films it is similar to (including The Road Warrior) without feeling derivative. There are a ton of interesting details and moments that make this work well, and they are conveyed with subtlety and craft. For instance, Ethan's 'magic' clearly derives from the fact that he remembers some key bits of knowledge and technology. Each of the mercenaries has their own amusing quirks. Exline, for example, hates guns despite having been a gunfighter in the sideshow scam he was running; Nitro is really good with the children; and Ten Watt's very off in the head and talks to the scorpions as if they're his troops. The comparison of the cultures that arise from the remnants of the books that remain is apparent. Some of these moments are a mere flash on the screen, and it happens rather naturally, without much in the way of exposition.  Most of the time, the parts that don't fit together as well do so because the film opts for having something cool happen instead of what might make more sense. Derek's initial reluctance to finish off Ethan (or the town's inhabitants) isn't very rational, but you wouldn't get the film without it. The rain at the end is a fitting conclusion, despite there not even being a hint of an explanation as to why. There are a few misses on this front, though: for some reason George keeps getting compared to Derek, even though he's clearly not the leader type, and his journey as a hero isn't very fleshed out. There's an entire sub-plot involving the traumatized daughter of the kidnapped woman that starts quite oddly with Derek kissing her (on the lips); it sort of seems like her soul is at stake but it's also not quite articulated well, even if what is there is actually intriguing (for instance, she wears the bloody robe of one of Derek's followers for a while, suggesting she's connecting him somehow with her mother). On the whole, the film shies away from making the violence too real, but also doesn't try to gloss over it. It sounds like it shouldn't work, but I find that it does. It occurred to me while writing this up that the film actually resembles quite a bit the TV series The A-Team, but with the violence and its effects allowed to be shown. That establishes a tone that really does fit the title; insanity, cruelty, and violence are the expected result when society has broken down and the lessons of the past have been forgotten. Even if Derek doesn't fully buy into his own cult status, he still seems to think that Manson's words must be important in some way, which to us can come off as both terrifying but also absurdly comical in a weird way. That sort of balance is what this film, just barely, does seem to manage. Connections to Roadwar 2000  What's interesting about this film is that while some aspects of the scarcity of resources (such as water) are focused on, there isn't much concern to things like getting fuel or producing weapons. There is some vague sense of how rare such things may be. It's really only brought up as necessary to service the plot. To some extent, that fits moderately well with the game. The survival of the cities, the rise of the gangs, and the ongoing use of automobiles are all bits that do make sense in this post-apocalyptic setting. Further questions (like why the gangs engage in combat so often) are most easily answered by the statement that this it makes the game work, much in the way World Gone Wild just has some parts that serve the characters rather than a fully cohesive world. In terms of how it feels, the cheeky tone of the movie is close to what the game is doing, but it's a lot less mock-serious than Roadwar. A more apposite reference might be the Fallout games, which at least some of the time mix their humor about the treatment of the past with a crazy and dangerous world. And if I'm so bold as to admit it, I find that it actually isn't that far off in spirit of what the narrative part of this LP has been. I'm not intending these characters to be taken very realistically, but little touches of what the ruined world is actually like intrude sometimes. There is also quite a bit of inevitable violence and death in every combat that I'm neither trying to make too glossy nor dwell on over-much. I can only say that for both the movie and the game, this is a fictional world, wild as it may be. Kangra fucked around with this message at 20:26 on Jan 26, 2021 |
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Jan 26, 2021 06:29
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That film’s tone sounds like another great post apocalyptic action game called Days Gone. You ought to play that if you haven’t already.
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Jan 26, 2021 09:50
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achtungnight posted:That film’s tone sounds like another great post apocalyptic action game called Days Gone. You ought to play that if you haven’t already. I hadn't even heard of it, but it looks good! Not sure if I'll get a chance to actually play it any time soon, but I'll keep it on my list. wafflemoose posted:Ah yes, the bus. Definitely one of my favorite vehicles in this game due to not only it's ramming potential but the ability to stuff it full of people and positioning it just right to give the enemy a full broadside. Not much survives a volley from a well crewed bus. Yes, the bus is great, as long as you don't have to ram bigger vehicles. It's probably the best one for a single-vehicle gang (which is arguably the 'optimal' way to play if you're trying to rush to the ending) since if you can upgrade it, it should be easy to avoid the slower/less maneuverable big rigs and just overwhelm them with superior firepower.
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Jan 26, 2021 20:31
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Florida Man Discovers Fuel Efficiency Secret The Gator Goons followed the highway south of Denver until it wended its way up through the mountains toward Albuquerque, New Mexico. It was a quiet stretch of road, with hardly even any wrecked vehicles or signs of life along the way.  Upon reaching Albuquerque, they stopped at the edge of the city and sent down scouts. Reports came back that the Invaders had taken control there. Sgt. Adams was shocked. "They're already that close? We thought we'd been able to stop them at the border!" Florida Man replied, "Nah, man, we're in New Mexico, now, right? I think they were already here. You know, years ago. Roswell, right? You guys know this stuff." Adams just gave him a disgusted look. "Come on, man!" Florida Man replied, "Well, I guess you can't discuss it, heh. Anyway, I say we skip this town. No need to fight them, they probably got more of their own special technology here."  They did bypass the town and took off down toward the Texas border.  A day later, they arrived in Amarillo, a quiet town in the high plains of the Texas panhandle. The residents there didn't seem to care much about outside events. A gang of local business leaders had banded together to control the town and try to extract whatever revenue they could from visitors, but it was clear to the Gator Goons that they'd rather have them leave town as soon as possible.  With Amarillo giving them a fairly unfriendly welcome, the group sped a little south, to Lubbock.  It, too, was under the sway of the invading armies. Dr. Kassabian commented that the folks in Amarillo were going to be in for a rough surprise if these troops started marching northward.  Elpida went around the city to gather more volunteers; they were expecting a fight in the Texas oilfields and fresh troops were needed. "I just hope you can train them in time," she commented to Adams.  As the Gator Goons headed south into the wide open land south of Lubbock, they could see from far off five solid black Lincoln Continentals, running in formation and kicking up a cloud of dust behind them that was visible for miles. Their readied their weapons and drove down to engage the gang.  The enemy cars, despite being boxy late-70s models, seemed to be in top condition with their engines roaring when the Gator Goons grew closer.  Jack took a shot at the tires of the massive cars; he expected that limited steering might be these cars' weakness, and wanted to press that advantage even further.  Nevertheless the Lincolns advanced, seemingly undeterred. Fire was exchanged between all vehicles with light casualties.  Harold had been trying to stay out of the action, but one of the enemy cars chased him down. A broadside from the side of the bus finished off most of the people on the car. It still managed to skid into the rear of his bus as it halted, causing some minor damage.  This gang did not seem to be willing to smash their own vehicles so easily. One of them pulled close to the Freightliner and then veered sharply to the side. That allowed boarders to easily make the jump on to the truck. Cecile could see the Lincoln's driver, dressed all in black leather and wearing a broad white cowboy hat, give a cruel sneer as he kept pace with the truck.  Florida Man shouted, "Hey idiots, chase me!" and darted the Gatormobile just past the front bumper of one of the black beasts.  The sudden turn of the Freightliner straight toward an oil well took the enemy car by surprise. It slammed on the brakes and then crashed into the side of the truck.  Meanwhile, Jack had been forced to halt in a muddy patch of the plain to avoid skidding into a large rock. He was now being tailed at close range by one of the Lincolns.  Florida Man and the Gator Goons' own limo (a Cadillac) took out one more enemy vehicle.  As Jack's Chevy van gained distance from the last enemy car, the Cadillac pulled up from its other side and pummeled it with gunfire.  The "Hot Rod Lincolns" had taken on the Gator Goons and lost.  This time, there was a sizable cache of both fuel and food to be found after the battle.  Florida Man had heard warnings that the Invaders would be even stronger near the Mexican border, but decided to press his luck and went ever southward into West Texas. He refrained from crossing the Rio Grande, though, and instead took the gang down the desolate highway to the east.  A day later, they'd reached San Antonio. To their dismay, they found that a group calling itself "The Texian Army" had taken over the town, putting its headquarters at the Alamo.  However, the town actually seemed free of violence, and it was actually possible to find a repair garage that was running almost as a business; they seemed to be mostly working on smaller vehicles and even bicycles, but were willing to take on the job of fixing the Gator Goons' cars. The shop owner did mention that it'd be best for the gang if they moved on quickly, as the Texians were not too happy about letting any rival gangs get big in their city.  While the cars were being fixed, a tall brown-skinned man approached them at the garage. "You're the group that just came into town, right?" he asked earnestly. "Have you had any contact with any government groups?" He lowered his voice and added, "Federal government, I mean." "Hey, we got an Air Force guy," responded Florida Man, "He was with them up in the mountains around Denver. Maybe he knows something." He pointed out Sgt. Adams and the man went over to talk to him. As he left, Cecile punched Florida Man lightly in the shoulder and said, "Hey, you know, I think that guy's looking for the GUB. You could have told him..." "Oh!" said Florida Man. "Oh yeah, I guess we're kind of government agents, too," he remarked with a chuckle. Sgt. Adams had already managed to figure out that the scientist, Gabriel Washington, was in fact someone they were searching for. He promised Dr. Washington that they'd bring him safely back to the GUB just as soon as they could, and until then, he would ensure his personal safety.  They paid the repair shop in food and medicine, and moved on to Austin, which they found to be under the control of the Invaders.  All the nearby cities had been taken over as well.  Most of the citizens seemed to have fled or gone into hiding, as many of the buildings were abandoned and in disrepair. There was little to be found in the way of loot. It was a bit worrying for Florida Man, as keeping the numbers up to the level necessary for fighting larger battles was using up the food supplies quickly.  As they continued up the road to Dallas, there were a few more signs of life, but the general air of desolation remained. This was especially true as they made their way through the city's downtown, where the empty skyscrapers loomed hollowly overhead. Florida Man had an idea when he found one curiously angular structure right near the city's center. Once the goons broke through the entrance doors, he started wandering up through the empty offices. He'd reached one of the upper floors that had a large conference room with a broad view out the window. As he walked over to check out the city from above, Dr. Kassabian rushed into the room, accompanied by Gabriel Washington and Sgt. Adams. Dr. Kassabian said, "Hey, check it out, looks like Gabe here found something neat. Tell him, doctor." "What is it?" asked Florida Man as he turned away from the window. Dr. Washington was holding in his hand a large flask of pale yellowish liquid, which he held up and swirled around. "Well, this was in one of the labs here, and according to the notes we found with it, it contains an experimental fuel additive. A self-replicating nanomolecule that, when added to regular gasoline, doubles its efficiency!" "So we could add it to our fuel tanks?" "Yes," interrupted Dr. Kassabian. "It'll let us go twice as far on a full tank of fuel. No more searching out those oil wells!" Florida Man replied, "So how much is there of it? Do they got tanks of it down in the basement?" Dr. Kassabian and both started to speak at the same time, then paused. Washington continued, "The thing is, it'll self-replicate. That means we can add it to the tank once and every time we fill it, within hours, the gas will be back up to being super-efficient! This amount here is all we need for all the cars." Florida Man smiled. "That sure is something. Guess it was worth coming in this building after all." He turned and looked out the window over the city, and the rest of them came over to admire the view as well. Dr. Washington stared off toward the southeast, as if trying to make out some distant object on the horizon. "You know, I heard they had been doing some of this work here, but never got a chance to come up. Back in Houston, they said they had even done amazing things, too. But then..." "Wait, what happened in Houston?" wondered Kassabian. "Hm, I guess you guys didn't know that," he said, walking slowly over to the window. "Houston got hit. I was in Spring when it happened. Nuclear bomb took out the whole city. I tried to stick around, moved on the outskirts, see what effect it had on the virus. But the new strain... you know, turned people violent. They call them mutants, they do, but they're just sick. Either way, it wasn't safe. That's how I ended up down in San Antonio. Good thing you guys found me." Sgt. Adams said, "Oh! So is that why these cities are so abandoned. Seems like the invading armies came through and even they didn't want to stay." Dr. Washington said, "Yeah, I suppose. There's probably nothing worth going back there for, now. Maybe what I did find can help out if we make it back to the G.U.B." To this, Adams responded, "Oh, we'll make it back safe. No worries about that." Then to Florida Man he said, "So what is our plan anyway?" Florida Man scratched his head. "I did want to see if my house is okay, you know, I had been kind of heading back home. Uh... while we're looking for the scientists, too." Dr. Kassabian said, "Yeah, but didn't we get a lead on one? Dr. Trotier?" Dr. Washington spoke up. "Alec? He's alive? Where is he?" Dr. Kassabian replied, "We don't know if he's alive really, it was just a tip. Somebody told us he might be in the 'north central U.S.'" Adams said, "If we know the whereabouts of any GUB personnel, that should be our top priority. We were pretty lucky to find Dr. Washington here, but as he said he barely made it out." Dr. Washington added, "We really should look for Alec if he's out there. You could bring us back together." Florida Man sighed resignedly. "I guess so. At least we got a few cities up there that are ours." As they left the office, Dr. Kassabian commented, "Gee, I sure hope Trotier wasn't in Chicago."  It turned out the quiet of the city would not last very long at all. Almost as soon as the goons had left the building, they came under attack from a unit of the Invader army. They'd managed to gain quite a few followers as they made their way through central Texas, but many of them were lost in the fight through downtown Dallas that followed.  With the knowledge that the Invaders were only likely to come at them even harder if they stayed, the Gator Goons left Dallas as fast as they could. On the road eastward as they made a hasty camp, they were surprised by an assault from a group of 'mutants'. Dr. Washington figured they'd probably come up from Houston as he checked all the survivors for any signs of infection.  Instead of heading farther down the highway, the gang swung up through the farmland of eastern Oklahoma. The gasoline additive had worked wonders, but their food supply was still dwindling.  The next big city they encountered was Oklahoma City. From what they could gather, the heightened state of security in the state capital meant that the response to the pandemic had been a rapid deployment of the national guard, who'd managed to maintain order in the city since then. After checking if there had been any 'research scientists' who might have come through the town, and finding no reports, the Gator Goons left town.  Tulsa was the next stop. Florida Man was relieved to hear that the Reborners were the sole power in the city, as he'd actually hoped to do a bit of looting for food, but didn't want to arouse the anger of the soldiers back in Oklahoma City. He wasn't going to be so rude as to force the Reborners to feed the gang, but he was pretty sure they wouldn't do much to bother the Gator Goons either. Initial scouting yielded no results, however.  Fortunately, they were able to scrounge a bit through the supermarkets and managed to find another day or so's worth of food. During that time, the Reborners remained stand-offish but amicable.  Later the next day, the Gator Goons were still searching the city blocks when they heard the sound of gunfire. At first they thought it was someone celebrating a find, but as the bullets started whizzing past them they realized they themselves were under fire. The vehicles took to the streets and started firing back.  Harold, in the bus, found himself more than a block away from the main part of the group, with only the Hyundai near by. Florida Man gunned the Gatormobile down the street to provide more covering fire.  As the Gator Goons got closer, they heard the twisted hooting of a group of Cannibals. There appeared to be several medium-size vehicles and one large truck that they'd kept stashed on a side street, likely because it carried all of their ill-gotten food stores.  Harold turned his bus down a side street as soon as he spotted a small Toyota approaching; he wasn't sure if it was going to be the lead element of some larger force or not.  Jack swerved his Chevy van around a tight corner while being pursued by a little Dodge Neon. Farther back, Cecile ordered the truck driver to slow to a crawl so they could let loose with the guns at long range.  As Harold made a lumbering turn around the corner, the tiny Toyota continued to head straight for him.  Gunfire erupted out the side of the bus, eliminating the driver, but it was not in time to prevent the car from barreling into the back end of the bus, causing Harold to halt to avoid fishtailing into the building behind him.  A couple brave souls tried to leap out the back door of the Chevy on to the Neon, but one just slid off the roof. The two who made it did knock one person of the opposing car but where killed in short order.  The two trucks had now apparently become the main targets of the enemy, though the Freightliner seemed to be at a safe enough distance down the side street at this point.  Jack and the Mack truck finished off the Neon. Now there was a red Ford Bronco that was looking to close in on the Freightliner in a narrow street race.  Just as those two were headed down the side street, the Gatormobile and the Stellar were making all speed up another street to get closer to the action. The Cannibals in their truck had gotten underway now and were looking to even the odds.  The Freightliner lurched back and forth to give its passengers a better shooting angle, and it worked: the Bronco was taken out before the truck had made it to the next block.  Florida Man broke off to head behind the flatbed while the Hyundai rushed to beat it at the corner.  The Stellar zoomed by at nearly 100 mph and took a screeching turn around the block as the van and the Mack got into range of the Cannibal's flatbed.  Crazy cannibals dancing around on the open bed of a truck were easy pickings, even at moderate range.  As the opposition's numbers dwindled, Jack took a crazy risk and drove in close with the Chevy van.  This lured several of them to get off the flatbed and onto his own van, where the more-skilled defenders knocked them off easily.  Jack had timed his run perfectly, as he swung the van out of the way just in time to avoid a collision.  There was still a lot of fight in the Cannibal crew, though, as they took out two of the people on top of the Hyundai.  By the time the rest of the enemy gang had been defeated, even Harold had been able to rejoin the group.  It had been one of their lengthiest street battles yet, but the Goons came out of it in relatively good shape; there'd hardly been any damage to the vehicles.  The commotion of the battle had naturally garnered a great deal of attention. A group of Reborners actually showed up afterward with a grateful gift. "We do not allow violence, but we are glad to be rid of such foul people as that. They have been troubling us for some time," said their leader. "We share our gifts with you, and hope that you, too, will see the new light."  Not wanting to push their luck any further in this region, the Gator Goons made preparations to leave the next morning. A review of the forces showed that Sgt. Adams' training was producing noticeable results.  The Gator Goons pushed onward and nearly made it as far as St. Louis in a few days. On the way there had been an attack on mutants, and it wasn't clear if these had migrated north from Houston or south from Chicago.  The town was said to be controlled by a group of bureaucrats occupying the city government offices, but rumor had it they were too busy arguing over how to plan the town to mess with any outsiders.  Elpida was able to convince a number of the citizens that to be stuck here in the middle of the country, while safer from the Invaders, wasn't going to make things get better any time soon, and the mutants would be coming any day now. If they wanted adventure and excitement, they should sign up with the Gator Goons.  After stocking up with a few more food stores, the gang continued up into anywhere that they might get updates on Alec Trotier's whereabouts.  When they reached Indianapolis, they were unable to find any GUB agents, but it turned out that news of their journey through Chicago, and the takeover of Detroit, had made it to the city. There were still a number of skilled crews who had hung around at the Speedway hoping that somehow, fast car racing might make a comeback. They offered to fix up the Gator Goons vehicles for free if Florida Man would give them a show in the Gatormobile.   The engines were tuned for excellent performance.    Florida Man suggested that they still had to deal with a lot of attacks out on the road, so reinforced steel panels were added wherever possible, with an upgrade to the brakes to account for the weight increase.  Harold was especially pleased with the upgrades. Even if his old bus was not going to be able to turn any better, the protection on the windows and front was vastly improved, and it would take more than a simple collision to dent it now. Note that unlike some of the upgrade sites, this one did not repair all the vehicles for free; I'm not sure why that is so. Also of note is that while I could not have known when we would get the first contact from the GUB, we did benefit from having it happen when we did. Apparently, the GUB update overrides these 'first visit' bonuses, so it did not trigger when we went through Indianapolis before. I did take advantage of that to save these upgrades for the bus.  The constant threat of mutant attacks from Illinois had only seemed to worsen since they'd last been here. The gang's casualty rate was getting to be unacceptable. This week's film: Deathsport
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Jan 31, 2021 23:52
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Dallas and Indianapolis do seem appropriate places to find upgrades for vehicles. 
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Feb 1, 2021 01:46
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achtungnight posted:Dallas and Indianapolis do seem appropriate places to find upgrades for vehicles. Well one of them is the Home of the Indianapolis 500© ® ™ auto race, the only thing that will survive the apocalypse in Indiana.
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Feb 1, 2021 06:08
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I hate Indianapolis Mutants.
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Feb 3, 2021 08:02
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Deathsport (1978) "When the sun rises, there's no necessity to announce it. Clearly we have lost."  A voiceover explains that a thousand years into the future, after the 'Great Neutron Wars', the world consists of a few city-states and large wastelands. The wastelands are peopled with 'cannibal mutants' as well as the 'range guides' who are able to navigate safely through the dangerous territory when the 'statemen' must travel outside of their safe city walls. One of the guides is seen being chased after by helmeted men on motorcycles. He kills off many of them using a crystal sword and a 'blaster' (a death ray that his pursuers also wield). Before he manages to escape on his horse, his horse is shot and then the statemen finally knock him to the ground. Two leaders have a meeting and say that they need people to believe in the 'death machines' as a display of military power. They want to show their strength by using them to defeat the famously tough range guides in the 'Deathsport'. The statemen then go out and capture a woman who's been serving as one of the guides for a group of scared travellers avoiding the mutants. In the process, a young girl she'd been training is also captured by mutants living in the surrounding hills. In the prison, Caz Oshay (the man who was caught at the start) finds that if he tries to resist his captors, they can send some sort of shock torture directly into his cell. He sees the woman who'd been captured in the cell opposite him. Her name is Deneer, and they both speak in a stilted language apparently used by the guides; they also seem to form a psychic connection since he has flashes of her being captured without her having to tell it to him. The leader, Lord Zirpula, is informed by his doctor (a man named Agust Karl) that he has a degenerative brain disease and should probably step down before it worsens and drives him insane. This throws Zirpula into a rage and he sentences the doctor to 'Deathsport'; Karl is thrown in the cell with Caz. Zirpula's lieutenant Ankar Moor (the man who captured Caz) comes down to the cell and threatens the two guides; he apparently killed Caz's mother, the most famous guide of all, and he wants him to know it. Caz is defiant. Dr. Karl's son (who'd been travelling with Deneer's group) wants to rescue his father, and he comes to the prison cell with some guards. As they open the cell, he surprises them from behind and Caz is able to overpower the guards. However, it turns out that the walls of the prison cannot be breached, and the prison escape is thwarted. Both Karl and his son are imprisoned with Caz. Zirpula punishes Deneer by having her dance naked in a dark room that has electrodes hanging from the ceiling. He seems to be able to control them somehow to give her shocks and this pleases him sadistically. Caz is tortured and thrown back into the prison, where Deneer heals him. Then the guards come in (being sure to turn on the torture and stun the prisoners first) and carry all of them off to the Deathsport arena. It appears as if they are to be used in a some sort of gladiatorial combat. They are only provided with helmets and swords, while their opponents have the 'death machines' which seem to be just the same motorcycles we've already seen. Caz & Deneer of course are able to win the fights. There's a fair amount of random explosions, although we see at some point that Zirpula and Ankar Moor have control over them and are maybe trying and failing to blow up the gladiators. Caz and Deneer, along with Dr. Karl and his son, take over some of the death machines and are able to escape the arena.  Zirpula, upset over the escape, tortures another woman. She collapses to the ground, but when he goes to pick her up she grabs him and hits him with one of the shock devices, killing him. Ankar Moor, now knowing that he can become the leader of the city if he catches the escapees, heads into the wilderness after them. In the wasteland, Caz and Deneer return to the place where the little girl was taken. They come across a location unfamiliar to them (it looks to be a shot of some refinery, and is said to be a secret weapons factory). They hide out during the night to avoid the roving mutants. The next day, Ankar's men catch up to the four as they make for a 'pass'. In the ensuing chase, Dr. Karl is killed. His son wants to go back and take the rest of Ankar's men on, but Caz convinces him that it he'd be throwing his life away. As the chase continues out beyond the pass, both sides notice an oncoming 'flash wind' that they need to take shelter from. Deneer searches her memories and realizes the location of the mutant cave. Inside, they discover the child in a cage and release her. On the way out, they have to fight off some of the mutants, and Caz has to come back and save the junior Karl from being taken. When they exit, Caz rides off to draw Ankar Moor away, while the others head off to the nearest city, since that was Deneer's original task. After another fiery chase scene through a military base, Caz has managed to blow up almost all of the death machines. He finally faces down Ankar Moor in a duel of swords, and defeats him by slicing off his head. Deneer comes out to the range with horses. She and Caz agree to make their 'union complete', and so they ride off into the sunset together with the child following after on a pony.  While this was intended as a follow-up of sorts to Death Race 2000, this one ended up largely being a failure. There seems to be a germ of an interesting future world at its heart, with the lore of the guides as mystical figures, and the neo-Roman Empire setting, but it just ignores anything interesting in favor of distracting the audience with exploding vehicles and occasional gratuitous nudity. Unfortunately even the action scenes are too low-budget to even be entertaining, and the somewhat serious and pretentious tone of the character interactions makes it hard to enjoy it even in a more trashy way. The attempts to provide any tension or interesting conflict simply don't work. The city-state is trying to trick the populace into a war, but we never see anyone's reaction to what the leaders are doing, and Zirpula is simply eliminated before anything more comes of it. Caz and Deneer's convoluted jargon wants to highlight that the guides maintain a fiercely independent lifestyle in the wilderness, but since they are together for almost the whole movie, there's never a doubt that they won't end up together. About the only decent source of conflict is Ankar Moor, played with intensity by Richard Lynch. He has some good scenes with Caz Oshay (played ably by David Carradine), but this alone cannot carry the movie, and opposite most of the other characters he seems to be overacting.  There's a clear contrast between this and Death Race; while Death Race was fun and satirical, with well-shot vehicular action even while being lurid and graphic with the sex and violence, this is just far lower (or wasted) effort. Unlike the Death Race, the titular Deathsport is neither well-defined nor interesting. There's only one scene involving it, which goes on far too long, and it is hardly different from the other motorcycle chases in the film. Few of those are compelling to watch either, since even though they showcase some great stunts what happens in the chase isn't in service of any narrative. There are explosions and lots of things burst into fire, and the person you expect to win eventually wins. There's also the sexual exploitation, which is tossed in with barely any commentary or context. Aside from an occasionally shirtless Carradine and one very brief scene of intimacy, it's just naked women being tortured for no good reason than to be on display for the audience. There's also only a hint of Corman's unique production values, since this is mostly shot in exterior locations, and it's clear that this is the side of Corman that could care less about the plot or characters as long as the film has enough explosions and naked people in it to keep the audience satisfied. The problem, of course, is even this does not leave the audience satisfied. While a fair amount of the camera work is well-executed, it tends to fall down in the action sequences; there are too many POV shots, and unlike speedy cars on highways these are motorbikes on bumpy off-road trails, which only makes for an unpleasant watch. The editing isn't able to hide that that the same bits and locations are being re-used over and over, with cuts to explosions with no real reason for them occurring far too often. I'd say the spacy music (assisted by Jerry Garcia) is at least intriguing, and the sound in general is competent. I listened to this with the commentary track by Allan Arkush (the second director, brought in to try to salvage the film), and as he puts it, "Bad movies don't start out as bad movies." That's true, and whatever it might have started out as, the end product is still just a bad movie. Connections to Roadwar 2000  There is the promise in this film of vehicular action with the motorcycles, but it rarely is fulfilled. The death rays are invisible and kill instantaneously, so they have to either be not used or be planned with just the right shot, and it does not liven up the combat at all. Even the swordplay isn't terribly well done, since the unwieldy plastic swords don't lend themselves to proper fencing, just people either running into the hero's blade or slashed off their bike without it actually being shown on-screen. You do get one other point where this has a common element in the game world, which is the mutants. In Roadwar, the 'mutants' only attack at night, which is something suggested by this film (although they also kidnap the child in the day, but that's hardly the movie's only inconsistency). The Deathsport mutants seem to be an actual sort of human subspecies, as they live in communities but can only speak in grunts or howls. Their appearance is unnatural but still humanoid, even if it is probably the cheapest-looking thing in a relatively low-effort film. With Roadwar's shortened timescale for the collapse they had to resort to the hand-waving 'mutant virus' idea, but they do also hold to the concept that these are a constant threat, and not quite human either. They also seem to follow the trope of being cannibals in a world where that doesn't seem strictly necessary, something that pops up in the game as well. If nothing else, the mutants are in a way one of the least disappointing aspects of the film, as from their first appearance in their cheesy outfits we have an understanding of what they will be like. The cave scene even provides one of the more engaging fight scenes, with a torch fight that actually gives a reason for everything eventually catching on fire. It's just unfortunate that as with a lot of the parts of Deathsport, it doesn't fit together with the rest at all.
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Feb 3, 2021 17:04
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This sounds like a bad Hunger Games fanfic.
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Feb 3, 2021 17:16
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Just wanted to post that it'll probably be a little more than a week for each update. I've been behind and found that pushing to get it out wasted more time than doing it at a more reasonable pace. Still, it'll probably be not much more than that, and if I happen to get it done early, I might put it out when it's done (though to be honest I'd rather build more of a buffer now). Next update should be coming within a day or two.Black Robe posted:This sounds like a bad Hunger Games fanfic. It does seem to fit the mold well. The idea is reasonably solid, it's all in the execution.
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Feb 8, 2021 19:17
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However long it takes is fine. Don’t drive yourself crazy. Thanks for checking in.
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Feb 8, 2021 21:09
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Florida Man Abandons Millions in Buried Gold Treasure The Gator Goons spent a bit more time in Indianapolis searching for new members and seeking reports on Trotier's whereabouts. They encountered another band of the oddly face-painted people who'd spread out after the 'gathering' in Detroit. They didn't seem to be ready to help out the gang. Army Ranger Simms gave a bark, and they dispersed.  The mutant attacks continued as they moved on toward Ohio. In Cincinnati, they discovered that with the cold weather already arriving, the Reborners were only sharing their food to those who professed the new faith. There were many left out who were ready to join up with a road gang instead.  However, the leadership knew their own food supplies were going to get tight if they kept bringing in so many members, and Sgt. Adams was having trouble training all the raw recruits. Florida Man told Elpida to hold off on bringing in more people, and only to look for Alec Trotier, or any other GUB scientists.  Unfortunately, this behavior often drove the assembled crowd to anger. In some cases, they turned out to be cannibal gangs that were only waiting for the right moment to strike. After a few encounters like this, the Gator Goons were down to their lowest numbers in weeks.  In Dayton, at least, there were doctors who had set up camps for the Reborners, and they were able to trade for a few more doses of antitoxin.  But even there, the Chicago mutants continued to find them, and again the Reborners asked them firmly to leave the city.  Columbus and Cleveland proved to fertile ground for new and friendlier replacements for those who'd been recently lost, but there were still no reports of Trotier.  By the time they got to Youngstown, the gang had swelled to nearly 200 members again. This time, when they encountered a group in the street, Army Ranger Simms started to jump and whimper. Sgt. Adams looked and spotted telltale traces of blood on the shirts of some of the crowd. "Cannibals!" he cried out, and the Gator Goons attacked. With their ruse discovered, the cannibal gang tried to pull their weapons out, but the Gator Goons were already firing. They mowed down the enemy with ease.  As the afternoon faded into evening, Florida Man spotted another small band of men and women coming down the street. They had smears of blood all over them. A couple seemed to be dressed quite differently, with one in a flowing black gown, and another wearing an oversized red, white, and blue hat and a star-spangled suit. Oddly, the seemed to be laughing as they meandered towards him. "Cannibals?!" cried out Florida Man, and pulled out his shotgun. "Holy poo poo, no!" yelled one of the bloodstained men. "Is that real? No, wait, wait, we're just going to a party!" He, and several of the others, began waving their arms furiously in the air to show they meant no harm. "Party? In that get-up? Huh?" asked a bewildered Florida Man. He lowered his gun. "Yeah, you know it's Halloween! Still gotta party," responded one of the women. "What are you dressed up as?" she asked, twirling around and following the shocked group away. "What do you know, Army Ranger Simms, I guess it's Halloween," said a relieved Florida Man, remembering all the fun he'd had on Halloweens past. He patted the dog on the head and called back to the rest of the gang, "False alarm. Just a costume party, you know."  There was a growing chill in the air as Florida Man guided the group up toward Michigan. He didn't want to spend another winter up in the northern cold climates; last year in New York he had thought he was going to freeze to death. Fortunately, as they entered Toledo and checked in with the National Guard, they found Alec Trotier right there, staying safely at the base. It seemed word had gotten through that the Gator Goons who had set up the government in Detroit were the ones chosen by the GUB to bring the scientists in, and he'd expected them to come back any day. Dr. Washington was overjoyed to be reunited with him, and they spent the afternoon comparing notes and discussing the current state of the pandemic.  While they were in town, the helpful national guard allowed the Goons full use of their repair yard. The vehicles were once again ready for action on the road.  Early the next morning, Florida Man was just returning from a morning walk with Army Ranger Simms. He found Ms. Stojanova and Sgt. Adams waiting for him. Elpida brought up the question first. "We have two GUB scientists. Where do we head now?" Florida Man scratched his ear and replied, "Well, it's been pretty cold lately. Getting toward winter time soon. I think it would be good to head south for a while." Army Ranger Simms came and nudged his hand, and he leaned down to pet the dog. "And I do aim to see my home," he said with conviction. Sgt. Adams said, "And what after that? We need to get these scientists to the lab as soon as we can. I can keep them safe, but our goal is to get them there, not just wander about the country." Florida Man chuckled a bit. "We've been all around the country. But I haven't been home. Besides, don't we have, like, five more scientists to look for?" Elpida responded, "We don't know if we will find them all on one trip, though. We cannot even be sure they are all really alive. It would be a mistake to keep them away from their work for too long. We do have to head back to Tacoma, possibly sooner rather than later." Cecile and Jack had shown up at this point. Jack broke in with, "The United States is a big country. There are more places to check for the scientists. And moving these cars in winter is going to take some doing. We might be better off in the South." Sgt. Adams said, "It's not yet winter, and that's precisely the reason we ought to move now through the north. We can make it back " Florida Man finally said, "Look, Gator Goons is my gang. We will get back to Tacoma, and we'll all get there safe if we stick together. But we're gonna head South. We can search for more scientists down there too." Elpida responded, "I just hope you don't keep those scientists out on the road for too long. And make sure that we have the supplies to make it back, too."  The decision on their next step seeming to have been made, the Gator Goons headed off the highway and in a southerly direction. They tried searching through the southern Ohio farmland for any edible crops. They did manage to find some overgrown pumpkins, and added them to the half-empty trucks. Even the bulldozer was barely carrying a load anymore.  They crossed the Ohio River a little west of Louisville, Kentucky. Someone pointed out that the Gold Bullion repository must be close by, wondering idly if all the gold was still there. Florida Man said, "Well, that might be something worth checking out." Sgt. Adams responded immediately with, "You'd better not be getting any ideas. The Army's got that place well secured. Besides, what are you going to do with gold anyway? Buy yourself a vaccine?" Cecile chimed in, "It'd be pretty neat to see, anyway! All the gold in the US, all in one spot!" She giggled gleefully.  The first sign that something was off was when the gang pulled up to the front gate of Fort Knox and found it abandoned. No one was there at the guard post, and the base looked like it had been abandoned long ago. Here and there were scattered bits of refuse on the ground. They continued driving on and there were more indications of something worse. A few of the bushes seemed torn out or burned. There were spent shell casings in the gutters. Black spots on the pavement suggested explosions, or fires. Then they found the rusted hull of a pickup truck - not a military vehicle, although there was the twisted wreckage of a machine gun in its bed. "Looks like a bomb went off here," commented Cecile. "I hope things are okay inside." "You mean like a nuke set off?" wondered Florida Man. "No, silly," she said. "Who'd do that? I just... you know, probably it's been looted already." The Gator Goons drove on, slowly, and rounded their way to another empty gate of the fort, and then up the road to the bullion storage. Here, too, there were even more signs of combat, with a few smashed motorcycles and one Army jeep that had been shot up in the sides. "It's unguarded!" shouted someone when they drew close to the main repository building. Indeed, the doors of the main bunker looked to be torn open. Nobody stood on guard, and on there seemed to be a faint glow of gold from somewhere inside the structure. Soon more people started shouting, and rushing toward the door. In short order, the vehicles had largely been abandoned. Jack was futilely shouting, "Wait! Wait!" as the unruly mass ran into the building. Cries of "Gold! Gold!" could be heard as footsteps echoed down the stairwells.  Then, the gunshots started. At first, there was a shout and some people rushed upstairs, possibly fearing and ambush from hidden guardians. Before long, however, the gunfire was repeated sporadically, and sometimes it was cut off in the middle as if unnaturally. From below, there were more sounds of a melee. Florida Man had dismounted and finally reached the building. He dreaded heading down into it, but Jack and Sgt. Adams spurred him on. He said, "Okay, Adams, you stay up here, make sure it's safe on the outside. Me and Jack'll go down." They pulled out their guns and headed down the stairs. Elpida followed after. Dr. Kassabian had come up to the group and asked those standing guard, "You think I should go? See if anyone's hurt?" When he got down, Florida Man witnessed a scene of intense carnage. Dozens of bodies lay on the floor and many had been shot in the stairwell with their hands still wrapped around ingots of gold. Although the fighting had mostly subsided, Florida Man fired off his gun in the air to silence the room. He announced, "Nobody gets the gold. We're heading out now." Dr. Kassabian and a few others descended to care for the injured and remove the bodies to be buried outside the fort's compound. He noted that there was more dried blood on the ground in places where none of the Gator Goons had fallen.  Fleeing the fort, the gang regrouped and headed back to Louisville. While the town was quiet, it seemed to them almost as if it were under a cloud. Scouts they'd sent out earlier told them that it was a Reborner zone. Florida Man wandered through the city and one of the white-robed members of the group came to talk to him. "You look troubled," she said calmly. She studied his face and said, "Oh, you've been to Fort Knox. Here for the gold I suppose. You should learn, like us, to abandon your selfishness." Sgt. Adams asked, "Do you people really control this town? The fort too? And you don't do anything to guard it?" "We find we don't really need to," the woman smiled. "Such things as gold we do not desire." She paused a moment, giving the group a long stare. "Only outsiders come for it... but they never leave with it. It's a problem that takes care of itself."  Elpida did some inquiries around the city and found a few remnants of former gangs that had torn themselves apart in their own attempts to secure the gold reserves. "Let us leave this cold city, and never come back," she suggested, and Florida Man agreed.  The goons found a calmer, more relaxing atmosphere in Nashville. There, the Tennessee 'Volunteer Guard', as they called themselves, had established the law. They were largely made up of former members of the military, but not necessarily answering to any higher authority than their own units. The Gator Goons were able to breathe a sigh of relief after the tense situation in Kentucky.  A small bunch of cannibals did wander into the town, but the Gator Goons, with the help of the Volunteers, made short work of them. Sergeant Adams was starting to turn a lot of them into experienced soldiers.  It was undeniable at this point, though, that the food situation was dire. Instead of heading off on the highway through the mountains toward Georgia, the gang tried to scour the countryside in a search for working farms. There was none to be found, though, and by the time the crew made it to Birmingham, they were subsisting on scraps.  Starvation was held off for a few more days by a big find at one of the Piggly Wiggly markets on the north side of the city. It seemed that here, at least, large sections of the city were untouched by looters.  When probing the local residents for news about any scientists or government crews who might have been through the town, a number of them mentioned that they should take to 'Miss Gloria', a local doctor who it seemed had helped a lot of people through the illness. The group made its way over to the campus of the Birmingham-Southern College, where she'd reportedly set up her practice. In a red brick building that housed a former biology lab, they were met by a tall, pale woman with a bright smile. "Well, hello," she beamed when they came in. "You need some medicine, or got someone you have to get patched up in here?" Sgt. Adams spoke up. "Actually, ma'am, we're here on a special mission. You are Dr. Gloria Mills, correct?" "Yes, that is me. But, oh, wait, you mean to say— Alec! Gabriel! My gosh, you are here in the flesh! Well, now, what a delight!" The doctors explained about the call to come back into the GUB. Gloria was a bit saddened that she'd have to leave behind the people of the city, but she understood that it was necessary to gather the group and combine their knowledge to really discover a cure.  Early the next morning a sizable group of people showed up outside the camp and begged to come along with the Gator Goons. Gloria explained that she had told some friends about the gang, since she figured they had to be doing something right to make it to her. Florida Man said it'd be fine for them to come along. Sgt. Adams, Elpida, and Jack were less pleased. Elpida noted that if they were going to be making down to Florida and back they could have at least let them stay in their own homes until then, and save the food.  The gang departed Alabama and pushed on to Atlanta, hoping that it would be more rich in resources. By the time they got there, even the fuel supply was rather low.  Initially things went poorly there. The first group of people they encountered feigned an interest in discussing joining up, but attacked as soon as the envoys were sent over to negotiate. Elpida managed to escape safely, but casualties were heavy.  The gang's luck turned later that afternoon, as they found a long-abandoned cafeteria in a public high school.  A few more searches and they had more than a week's supply of food, enough to safely get them to Florida.  The next day, they crossed the border into Florida. It had been more than a year for him. Florida Man just said, "I'm looking forward to seeing my house again."  They had just passed Gainesville when Cecile flagged them to slow up. "We got trouble coming!" she called out, pointing ahead to the convoy of vehicles rolling up the highway ahead. "They're all hopping around and ready to fight! A whole bunch of cannibals, by the looks of it!" she added.  Sgt. Adams gave the signal to the large vehicles to form up at the sides to provide firepower. "Those cars are fully loaded, and staying in a close formation. They won't go down easy," he shouted. The more nimble smaller vehicles pushed ahead to get around to the enemy rear.  When the Gator Mobile took the lead, there was a sudden commotion on top of the limo in the center of the enemy cars. One man stood up to full height on top, and he leaned forward as if trying to spot something. He appeared to be wearing some sort of captain's cap. A second later he screamed out and started waving, "Him! It's him! In the Pontiac, get it!" A moment later the enemy vehicles erupted with fire, all aimed at the Gator Mobile. One of the troops on the roof went flying off.  Jack shouted out, "It's a trap! Turn around!" Florida Man wasn't sure what was going on, but he slid the Gator Mobile across the highway at 100 miles an hour and started to circle back toward the Gator Goons.  Sgt. Adams directed the vehicles on one side to take out the small Chevrolet at the front of the enemy pack; he hit in such a way that it lined up perfectly with the wrecks already on the freeway and would make that flank much tougher for the opposition to navigate.  Even as Florida Man took evasive action, the shots continued to be aimed at his car. Another casualty was lost. The only fire at the other vehicles was aimed at the tires, as if they were just trying to keep them from interfering with their target.  As the Gator Mobile passed behind the Freightliner, Cecile pushed forward several willing soldiers, telling them, "Jump on his car! Make sure you can defend him!"  Adams's trick had done the job, as the limo with the apparent gang leader on top of it had been unable to maneuver past the wall of twisted steel, and halted with a loud thump into the barrier at the edge of the highway.  The combined firepower of Harold's bus, and the two trailer trucks, polished off the other limousine without a problem.  Florida Man gave Jack a thumbs-up as he passed him in the rear of the circle he'd made away from the battlefield. Jack's own Chevy had taken two hits to the front tires, and he'd wisely retreated.  The limo had successfully extricated itself from the low highway wall, but the 'captain' who had been on board was nowhere to be seen when it turned around.  It didn't take long for the Gator Goons to fire off some well-aimed shots that took out the few people who remained inside it.  The Mack had played a little game of chicken with the bus, the last opposing vehicle. The souped-up truck had no trouble whizzing past the old bus, but as it did so it exposed itself to boarders.  They were not well-armed, and didn't seem skilled at fighting, but there were an awful lot of them.  Florida Man, gaining confidence, had brought the Gator Mobile back into the battle. "You won't take me out that easy!" He leaned to the seat next to him and said, "Ain't that right, Army Ranger Simms."  Less than a minute later, the bus, too had crashed off the highway. Most of the rest of the cannibals fled, and the Gator Goons took a few potshots at them as they ran.  One of the biggest hauls was the crates of food and fuel that had been stashed on board the bus. Sgt. Adams said, "This stuff is military rations, at least most of it. These guys were no cannibal group. Maybe they took over the cars of somebody else." He turned to Florida Man. "But they were targeting you. Did you recognize that guy? Like, maybe when you lived down here?" Florida Man shrugged his shoulders and said, "Can't say that I do."  It was just about sunset when they finally reached Tampa. Florida Man was awfully eager to get close to the city, but the gang decided that after the run-in they'd just had, it would be better to fully scout the town before getting in closer. Florida Man's return home would have to wait for one more day. This week's film: Cherry 2000
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Feb 10, 2021 00:22
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