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Pays employees slightly more than minimum wage;has multiple homes and luxury cars Constantly thinking of cheating on spouse Will leave company to child who will then run it into the ground
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Oct 13, 2020 01:48
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| # ? Apr 29, 2024 22:20 |
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TAXES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Oct 13, 2020 01:51
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This cafe would make so much more money if I didn't have to pay my staff! I pay them barely anything as it is but somehow they still complain! This is all the Government's fault!
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Oct 13, 2020 01:55
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Help I can't stop drinking all the alcohol, my restaurant is doomed
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Oct 13, 2020 01:56
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We’re a small business guys, I need you to put in extra hours to make the dream work. Sorry no I can’t afford to pay you overtime right now maybe one day when we make it big haha, you know I’ll remember all the hard work you put in. Oh and before I forget your Christmas bonus this year is that I’m ordering Dominos to the office. *drives off in a Bentley*
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Oct 13, 2020 02:00
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*goes bankrupt within the first 3 years*
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Oct 13, 2020 02:01
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*Becomes irrationally angry about taxes*
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Oct 13, 2020 02:02
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RBA Starblade posted:Help I can't stop drinking all the alcohol, my restaurant is doomed My aunt once dated this rad Italian dude who owned a restaurant and sometimes his staff would show up to work and find him passed out drunk on the kitchen floor because he got wasted the night before and didn’t want to pay for a taxi back to his house
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Oct 13, 2020 02:03
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Votin trump gently caress them black kids
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Oct 13, 2020 02:23
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slang so much crack I had to open a franchise
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Oct 13, 2020 02:31
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Supreme Allah posted:Votin trump gently caress them black kids My daughter begged me over tik tok to do it so, votin Biden gently caress them black kids
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Oct 13, 2020 02:32
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Could someone get one of those cups for me? It's on the top shelf and I can't reach.
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Oct 13, 2020 02:45
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Who What Now posted:*goes bankrupt within the first 3 years*
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Oct 13, 2020 02:47
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*Runs the dump like a tyrant king* *insanely smug about it but throwing away profit at all times* *gets kicked out of a low grade country club for not paying*
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Oct 13, 2020 03:05
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the bastards up at city hall are telling me i can't empty my septic system in the local creek thinkin about building a killdozer
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Oct 13, 2020 03:07
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Bad Purchase posted:the bastards up at city hall are telling me i can't empty my septic system in the local creek
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Oct 13, 2020 03:10
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We need to start making profit asap or we are going under. NO!, of course I didn't plan on not making any profit for 3 years before building up my clientele.
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Oct 13, 2020 03:11
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im the owner/manager/marketing expert
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Oct 13, 2020 03:14
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Lol it's all true 
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Oct 13, 2020 03:18
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I sell propane and propane accessories I tell ya hwut.
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Oct 13, 2020 03:19
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Gets into Facebook argument about whether or not a thing done was racist. Doubles down very, very hard on racism without realizing.
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Oct 13, 2020 03:20
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I'm gonna underpay you for one job but you're really getting serverly underpaid to perform several. Why yes I do have problems retaining employees but I think I've solved that by referring to the company as a family.
Gaunab fucked around with this message at 03:24 on Oct 13, 2020 |
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Oct 13, 2020 03:22
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Models business after successful hot dog house he read about on the internet.
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Oct 13, 2020 03:24
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Bad Purchase posted:the bastards up at city hall are telling me i can't empty my septic system in the local creek just do it i dump my chromium waste down the storm drains every day
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Oct 13, 2020 03:37
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*installs incompetent spouse as book keeper* *the money is hosed for some unknown reason* *blame the employees for loving around all day*
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Oct 13, 2020 03:38
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i think we should base prices on how much money i want to make for each item, not how much the market is willing to accommodate
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Oct 13, 2020 03:39
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Starts an internet forum.
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Oct 13, 2020 03:40
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I love this thread. Sorry about the vent.
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Oct 13, 2020 03:40
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Hello Sole Applicant! We are very excited to have you start working at our small design firm. We have been in business for 20 years and have deep ties in the community with all of the large, local consultants that you will want to be working with. I thought, before you begin your duties working for our Emerging Small, Minority, Woman-Owned Business, that I would take this time to outline exactly what your duties will be over the next couple of years. Starting your career is a daunting process. There is so much you don’t know! And I realize that you are expecting a true mentor. Someone who can guide you to fill in the gaps of your education. Unfortunately (for you), the reality of the small, local design market you are entering means that I am the only shop in town. And while I will recognize your need to learn and grow, I don’t feel that I have to actively help you in that process. Just google it while I browse Amazon! Hey, if you can’t figure it out, I will just treat you with so much derision that you will avoid ever asking me a question again. Look, I am going to start you off at a wage that is 75% under the expected amount for your degree. I will increase that amount if you prove to have the ability to handle working for me. As mentioned, there is nowhere else for you to work and since your spouse is stuck in an unpaid internship, you can’t move. I might forget about that wage increase for six months. I might also purposefully omit overtime. But, what are you going to do? I am literally the only option you have for professional growth! But it’s not all bad! After 2 years I will trick another, more experienced professional into joining my firm under the auspices of partnership (lol). He will be the one to really teach you. You just have to hold out for those years going to meetings with engineers and contractors, unable to answer their gotcha-questions that originate from the frustration of my absence. Can you handle that meeting with the City tomorrow? I can’t make it. The City Engineer is just going to ask you questions that relate directly to my liability. You got this! Also, every once in a while I will not have work for you, but I also will not lay you off so you can collect unemployment. I don’t like paying for that. By the way, I forgot to market (oopsie). Can I just string you along with the minimum amount of office hours for you to stick around? It will be at a reduced rate. Where else would you go anyway. You need experience under me to gain your licensure. A second job? You are on call! Moonlighting? Don't let me find out! I will also cycle around 12 other professionals through this office while you are here. Pulling them away from other firms and lower skilled, unrelated jobs just to fire them within weeks, if not months. Did I mention how replaceable you are? Those past employees? Oh, I will report them for claiming hours I don’t feel they deserve. Better stay on my good side! Don't want this all to be at for nothing, do you? Hey, can you call the licensing board too? Doesn’t it make you mad that YOU are getting the required experience for your license, but they are lying about theirs? Nevermind that my license didn’t require me to get hours and I never actually worked under anyone else. Look, you will try everything to get away. You can go back to school, but let’s face it, YOU have a kid. You can’t afford to get another degree. You can look for work somewhere else and the experience you get here isn’t going to make you competitive in larger markets! I also won’t be introducing you to any other consultants who can give you a reference. Did I mention the benefits? There are none! I am a small business. I can’t cripple myself with those things. How am I going to get a new car every two years? How am I going to afford that quarter million dollar addition to my house? Doesn't your side get insurance through their school? Can you get on that? Every so often, when it gets bad enough, I will give you the absolute minimum pay increase to keep you on. I know you can leave, I am just hoping my combination of abuse and miniscule reward will be enough to keep you around and not value yourself enough to step out. Remember that family? Those responsibilities? After a couple of years, you and your mentor might be in a position to go out on your own, but I have a deal for you! I am going to retire in about a year (for the next two years) and I want to pass my business on to you. All my contacts. All my work that you have been doing while I take credit for it. It can be yours. Don't you want to be the big fish in this small pond? I just will need to stay on as the creative director (and control everything), own the majority stock of the company (I did build it), have a minimum salary/hours for guaranteed income (I know you worked hourly), and health insurance until I turn 65. Quite the deal, right? I am a Small Business.
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Oct 13, 2020 03:41
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Gonna just chill out and run a decent niche product business and hang out in my office.
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Oct 13, 2020 03:41
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my mom is the accountant / cleaner
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Oct 13, 2020 03:45
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The Bird posted:Hello Sole Applicant! oh jesus christ lol it burns like salt on a slug oh man this is a real one
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Oct 13, 2020 03:46
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The last seven restaurants to open up on this corner didn’t last four months, but I’m pretty sure my Italian-Asian fusion bistro is gonna kill it here
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Oct 13, 2020 03:47
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i'm going to have a rediculous antique system of billing and paperwork that requires manual typewriting from my past-retirement age mom in order to get anything done, and she will be paid far more than you.
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Oct 13, 2020 03:48
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I don't care how many instagram followers you have, I'm not giving you free poo poo!!
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Oct 13, 2020 03:48
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i'm going to basically handle credit cards in the exact completely wrong and illegal manner and then arbitrarily pick whoever seems nerdy to investigate the legal compliance standards and then refuse to implement anything even close to correct, because that's not the way we did it in the 80s, just sign on it saying we did everything right and hope we never get caught oh no we're getting repeatedly sued we better do everything we can to evade discovery
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Oct 13, 2020 03:51
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has a nephew make a website straight outta 2004
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Oct 13, 2020 03:52
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RBA Starblade posted:Help I can't stop drinking all the alcohol, my restaurant is doomed But you’re such a good* cook when you’re cooking a meal to serve 2-4 people, how could a restaurant you own possibly fail? Have you tried taking a vacation and closing the restaurant right when things are turning around? *above-average but nothing special
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Oct 13, 2020 03:52
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i have a weird conceptualization of how everything works that is not really tethered to reality but i'm just gonna try and force everything to work the way i think it should. I love trump and try to pull insane power moves like he does all the time even though it never worked even once.
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Oct 13, 2020 03:54
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| # ? Apr 29, 2024 22:20 |
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I love to support young, local professionals. I am going to outsource all my 3D modeling and rendering work to India.
The Bird fucked around with this message at 03:57 on Oct 13, 2020 |
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Oct 13, 2020 03:55
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