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anybody who moves is fired, thats why its called the fire alarm
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Jul 22, 2021 16:50
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*has a hidden torture room in the basement of the shop where he rapes and murders black prostitutes under a large crucifix while reciting bible verses about smiting evil*
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Jul 22, 2021 16:50
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*attends large megachurch to network my roofing business, buys a 4x4 square advertisement space in the weekly bulletin*
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Jul 22, 2021 16:58
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*only takes payments in cash in TYOOL 2021 because it's easier to underreport revenue and embezzle* Can't believe all these workers would rather stay on unemployment than come work for the below-market wages I pay. We'll see what happens to wage rates when unemployment runs out and everybody's competing for the same jobs  *doesn't have enough personal or business cash on hand to keep business afloat until then because that money's already been stolen and spent, can't get a big enough short-term loan due to (artificially) low revenues*
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Jul 22, 2021 18:07
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I need you to clock out at 11:15pm exactly to avoid going into overtime, otherwise you will be terminated immediately. However, you are not to leave until the closing checklist is complete, or you will be terminated immediately.
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Jul 22, 2021 18:20
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Shardy posted:*only takes payments in cash in TYOOL 2021 because it's easier to underreport revenue and embezzle* NOBODY WANTS TO WORK 
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Jul 22, 2021 18:22
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*Takes away all the chairs for employees*
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Jul 22, 2021 18:23
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Now hiring Exciting opportunity in games. Perfect for entry level applicant! Qualifications *6+ years experience *Must be local to or relocate to Bumfuck AZ *Must have reliable transportation as all available housing is 63 miles from office. $10/hour All applicants must be willing to undertake trial programming assignment as part of interview process.
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Jul 22, 2021 18:37
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Derpies posted:*Takes away all the chairs for employees* Large companies pull that one too.
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Jul 22, 2021 18:39
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i own the deli. i hire high school kids and give them a $1 dollar an hour raise if they quit their extracurriculars and work for me every day after school, so now they earn a whole 10.75 an hour, 20 hours a week.
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Jul 22, 2021 18:50
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The tip jar gets split at the end of the shift and YES I am part of the shift.
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Jul 22, 2021 18:54
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*kills the illegal mexican immigrants who are working at the store and dumps their bodies at his buddy's pig farm because it's cheaper to replace them with more illegals than actually paying them*
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Jul 22, 2021 18:56
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Why are we getting such bad yelp reviews? What the gently caress are you people doing all day? Jesus Christ, until about a year ago we were doing great., now we have all these 1 star reviews talking about feeling unsafe and uncomfortable in here. *walks around with my concealed carry pistol and puts a giant TRUMP 2020 MAKE LIBERALS CRY sign in the front window* Oh and I swear to GOD if you put a mask on you WILL be fired on the spot.
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Jul 22, 2021 19:14
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Listen, I know you all feel that the shift manager is incompetent, and yes, I know he creeps on the highschool girls working here and is regularly inappropriate, regularly offering up the chance for them to hang out at his studio apartment and drink beer over the weekends, but look, it's hard to find someone willing to manage a retail store for 8 bucks an hour, and I'll be hosed if I spend a dime more than I have to, or god forbid, just do the work myself.
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Jul 22, 2021 19:34
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*starts a thread titled "People Who Crap At Work" complaining about stinky poop smells coming from the office women's bathroom instead of installing proper ventilation, and is roasted for dozens of pages* I'm not mad
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Jul 22, 2021 22:08
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I can't legally tell you not to take a poo poo at work but these old buildings don't have the best pipes and if the we have to get them replaced, well, let's just say there's going to have be some cutbacks. Now if you excuse me, I've got a meeting with the contractor building my new house about where the pool's going to go.
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Jul 23, 2021 14:17
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Deki posted:Listen, I know you all feel that the shift manager is incompetent, and yes, I know he creeps on the highschool girls working here and is regularly inappropriate, regularly offering up the chance for them to hang out at his studio apartment and drink beer over the weekends, but look, it's hard to find someone willing to manage a retail store for 8 bucks an hour, and I'll be hosed if I spend a dime more than I have to, or god forbid, just do the work myself. I'm on the awful app why is your post a deep red?
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Jul 23, 2021 15:08
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Those are flags.
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Jul 24, 2021 01:08
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Spends 300,000 dollars remodeling McMansion. Deducts 100% of it because 10’x10’ home office was remodeled at the same time.
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Jul 24, 2021 05:00
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Honeymoons in Reno for the tax deduction because it’s the only plausible location for a business expansion
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Jul 24, 2021 05:08
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Deducts every meal ever eaten as a business expense.
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Jul 24, 2021 05:09
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Noblesse Obliged posted:I’m putting business cards in the kids bags at Halloween Jello shot for mom'ndad. Get'm ol loose'n'goosey &$ spendy spendy.
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Jul 24, 2021 07:54
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*Realtor's son gets in car accident* *Father immediately gives his business card to the victim*
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Jul 24, 2021 08:33
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It was nice to get back into the office after a 9 day vacation, but gently caress this week was rough. I don't know how you guys do it, but hey that's what I'm paying you for. Anyway I'm taking another 9 days off because jesus this was rough. If I had to work this hard a single day more I'd probably kill myself. Anyway be sure to fire anyone who wants more than $10/hr.
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Jul 24, 2021 15:14
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Jul 25, 2021 02:26
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*looks at vinyl decal on back window of my full size pickup that says "Success isn't owned. It's leased, and rent is due every day" in 4 inch high letters* drat, this labor shortage is a real humdinger. I really gotta compete for good labor - any labor. Really gotta hustle. What can I say to really motivate people to want to work for me? Oh wait, I'll use the old standby! Here goes: YOU SHOULD BE GRATEFUL TO WORK HERE
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Jul 25, 2021 03:29
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THIS PIECE OF poo poo HEPTA LINK CANT EVEN loving LOAD PICS OF BOOBS OMFG! 
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Jul 25, 2021 03:59
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A tale of two businesses owners: 1) Buy a small, local coffee shop. Bust your rear end working six days a week, 12 hours a day trying to make it successful. Build a brand locally, get regular customers. Get attention from the local newspaper. Make yourself the face of the business so the customers deal with you - good or bad. Hire local teenagers as part-time help, pay them what they’re owed, send them home at a pre-set time every shift and finish up closing yourself, because you can’t afford to pay for the extra hours. When a customer makes a horrible mess in the bathroom, insist on cleaning it yourself instead of letting the high schoolers you hired deal with it. Burn yourself out. Hire an accountant to try to see why you always feel behind financially. Get told you’d be better off working at McDonald’s. Sell the business and go be a home inspector. 2) Buy an established coffee shop with a good local reputation. Be an unlikable, greasy poo poo who wears comic book T-shirts every single day. Post on Facebook about how stupid and annoying your customers are. When your post blows up in the local community, double down when the local newspaper asks you about it. Go out of business. 
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Jul 25, 2021 22:28
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Dammit was this some kind of viral marketing? Because I went to their Facebook page to see how this post was going and I ended up really liking their clothes 😕🤔
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Jul 25, 2021 23:31
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Hahahaha restaurant owners deserve to get hosed by a lack of employees. The tactics to turn a profit in that industry turbo gently caress all the employees. I did 10 years as a line cook and don't have a penny to show for it, just know how to cook. Let em burn.
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Jul 25, 2021 23:55
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Smugworth posted:Hahahaha restaurant owners deserve to get hosed by a lack of employees. The tactics to turn a profit in that industry turbo gently caress all the employees. I did 10 years as a line cook and don't have a penny to show for it, just know how to cook. Let em burn. Lol at “restaurant” and “turning a profit” being in the same paragraph.
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Jul 26, 2021 11:01
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We need ideas here, people. Nobody is coming to our restaurant any more, and I don't know why. Our menu hasn't changed in 20 years so it can't be that. Let me just post on facebook, get some ideas from the people. "WE HAVE STRUGGLED SO MUCH IN THE LAST YEAR DUE TO THE INSANE POLICIES OF OUR TYRANT GOVERNOR!!! Now we are back open but nobody wants to come out to eat. What are we doing wrong? We are a small business and I will not be cancelled by the outrage mob online just because I have spoken MY MIND about the DISASTER that this country is turning into thanks to the Socialist-Marxists. So please, leave CONSTRUCTIVE IDEAS in the comments. I will delete any comments that attack me or my business. I worked hard for this place and will not see it destroyed by the "Woke" crowd!" Okay guys I think we're gonna turn this place around, just gotta wait for the comments to come rolling in!
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Jul 26, 2021 14:06
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What? An owner closing more than they want to?? Gonna quit my job and go work in a restaurant. I had no idea their situation was so dire!
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Jul 26, 2021 14:49
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We have to let the free market decide! The government shouldn’t be in the business of picking winners and losers! Wait, no, not like that!
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Jul 26, 2021 16:14
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lovely failing restaurants are now charities that you're obliged to work for out of the goodness of your heart
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Jul 26, 2021 16:15
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bird with big dick posted:Deducts every meal ever eaten as a business expense. Also deducts outrageously large truck that “hauls business inventory” to his franchised sandwich shop
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Jul 26, 2021 18:07
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In honor of summer let us celebrate Small Business Tyrant: Beach Town Edition* -Mediocre restaurant that's insanely overpriced but there's always a 1+ hour wait to get in because its "a tradition" to get dinner there every year for tons of people. The marketing suggests that the owner is a fun, happy-go-lucky guy but you never actually see him. Please don't read too much into why all the waitresses are under 21 years old and all have the same general physical features! -Said restaurant place has $30+ t-shirts with some dumb/borderline offensive slogan. The shirt will never be worn and is doomed to show up in a Goodwill five years later -The ice cream shop (I'm sorry, "scoop shop") with the flavors written out by hand on a white board. There's always a line out the door and it's staffed by two 16-year-old girls have clearly been tearing up all day from being yelled at by dickhead families -The t-shirt shop! The 70-year-old Portuguese woman who owns the place is eyeing you down the whole time thinking you are going to steal something. Her middle-aged son is a doughy weasel of a man whose inner self-hatred is expressed through his love of Trump A fun way to know the socioeconomic class of the tourists: If the t-shirts have pop culture figures wearing Supreme or MAGA hats while doing offensive things, you're partying with working-class stiffs who want to feel like a Somebody for a long weekend every year (or the full week, if you're part of a blue-collar dynasty of roofing or landscape company owners). But if the store is full of $60 pastel crewneck sweatshirts with the town's name on them? You're in well-to-do white-collar rear end in a top hat world, baby. It's pretty much the same as the working-class towns but the restaurants have craft beer and a wine list. *These are based on the East Coast shore cultures of Cape Cod, the Hamptons, and the New Jersey Shore. I'm sure beaches in other parts of the country have their own things and I would love to hear them
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Jul 26, 2021 19:19
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i have approxamately 250 pastel LBI crewneck sweatshirts
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Jul 26, 2021 20:45
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WILDTURKEY101 posted:i have approxamately 250 pastel LBI crewneck sweatshirts Lol me too. My family would rent one floor of a house every year for 20 years. As an adult, almost all my birthday presents from my mom were end of season branded junk from lbi because my birthday was a few weeks after their week. Unfortunately the guy that rented it out sold the house last year and it got knocked down for some multi million dollar vacation home
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Jul 26, 2021 20:57
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| # ? Apr 29, 2024 23:44 |
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At this business we're a family and we look out for each other. No, I don't see what the problem is paying you under the legal requirement? Look, even though my wife and I are in charge of everyone's pay and we don't give people copies of papers if we can avoid it I don't see how us paying you legally is our responsibility. I think if you wanted your actual pay then you should have paid more attention to the nitty gritty of contract law instead of focusing on your job. Why are you demanding a few grand in backpay for half a decade of work? You're ruining us, if we go out of business it is all your fault. This was clearly your plan all along! To trick us into paying you too little so you could work a lovely job for half a decade, all for the payoff of slightly less than three grand. You evil, scheming bastards. Rest assured that I will no longer try to treat employees like family. *New interviewee walks in* Here we consider ourselves family.
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Jul 26, 2021 23:22
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