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In honor of summer let us celebrate Small Business Tyrant: Beach Town Edition* -Mediocre restaurant that's insanely overpriced but there's always a 1+ hour wait to get in because its "a tradition" to get dinner there every year for tons of people. The marketing suggests that the owner is a fun, happy-go-lucky guy but you never actually see him. Please don't read too much into why all the waitresses are under 21 years old and all have the same general physical features! -Said restaurant place has $30+ t-shirts with some dumb/borderline offensive slogan. The shirt will never be worn and is doomed to show up in a Goodwill five years later -The ice cream shop (I'm sorry, "scoop shop") with the flavors written out by hand on a white board. There's always a line out the door and it's staffed by two 16-year-old girls have clearly been tearing up all day from being yelled at by dickhead families -The t-shirt shop! The 70-year-old Portuguese woman who owns the place is eyeing you down the whole time thinking you are going to steal something. Her middle-aged son is a doughy weasel of a man whose inner self-hatred is expressed through his love of Trump A fun way to know the socioeconomic class of the tourists: If the t-shirts have pop culture figures wearing Supreme or MAGA hats while doing offensive things, you're partying with working-class stiffs who want to feel like a Somebody for a long weekend every year (or the full week, if you're part of a blue-collar dynasty of roofing or landscape company owners). But if the store is full of $60 pastel crewneck sweatshirts with the town's name on them? You're in well-to-do white-collar rear end in a top hat world, baby. It's pretty much the same as the working-class towns but the restaurants have craft beer and a wine list. *These are based on the East Coast shore cultures of Cape Cod, the Hamptons, and the New Jersey Shore. I'm sure beaches in other parts of the country have their own things and I would love to hear them
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Jul 26, 2021 19:19
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| # ¿ May 16, 2024 14:03 |
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