|
Okay, tough times here but I need to lay off 10% of the workforce to free up some capital. Perfect, now I can use that money to buy more stock in my own company, since the news of the layoffs will drive investor confidence since we're cutting costs. Also, make sure we DO NOT give out any raises this year, I need that money. It sustains me. I am a living monster clothed in a business suit.
|
#
¿
Oct 16, 2020 16:51
|
|
|
|
| # ¿ May 16, 2024 18:09 |
|
|
Everybody, it turns out that some people are abusing the "work from home" policy and not getting all their work done. I'm doing this quick conference call to explain that you MUST be in the office at least 80% of the week, and the remaining 20% you MUST be available for calls and emails. *the very obvious sound of seagulls is heard in the background* So anyway, we all know some of you are struggling with the virus situation. We're through the worst of it now, it's time to get back to normal. You can't just run away from your responsibilities at work. *a child's voice saying "Father, let's go scuba diving again, it would be ever so fun!" is heard* Uhhhh, so until productivity improves I'm ending the work from home program except in emergencies such as surgeries. Okay well I'll give you the rest of your day back, I'm very busy as well right now.
|
|
#
¿
Oct 19, 2020 13:17
|
|