So Dracula is my new project manager

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > So Dracula is my new project manager

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President Beep: Apr 30, 2009; i have to have a car because otherwise i cant drive around the country solving mysteries while being doggedly pursued by federal marshals for a crime i did not commit (9/11)

yeah, in clownsylvania :jerkbag:

# ? Oct 24, 2020 21:34

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 28, 2024 18:24

syntaxrigger: Jul 7, 2011; Actually you owe me 6! But who's countin?

for dumb clown vamps

# ? Oct 24, 2020 21:42

Crazy Achmed: Mar 13, 2001

what is an employee? a miserable little pile of kpis

# ? Oct 26, 2020 01:47

Crazy Achmed: Mar 13, 2001

but enough talk, please take this discussion offline

# ? Oct 26, 2020 01:47

psiox: Oct 15, 2001; Babylon 5 Street Team

syntaxrigger posted:

for dumb clown vamps

# ? Oct 26, 2020 03:06

psiox: Oct 15, 2001; Babylon 5 Street Team

Crazy Achmed posted:

what is an employee? a miserable little pile of kpis

Crazy Achmed posted:

but enough talk, please take this discussion offline

# ? Oct 26, 2020 03:06

Crazy Achmed: Mar 13, 2001

it is not by my hand that i am once again given this aggressive timeline. I was brought here by middle management, who wish to pay me within the approved corporate salary band.

...ah, sarcasm. for what profit it is it to a man, if his team completes their deliverables early, but in doing so is not on the critical path? the six sigma way, mcgraw hill, 2000, i believe.
HR, forgive me! farewell, my team...
*dies in a flaming heap*

*entire wing of office building spontaneously collapses and sinks into the ocean*

Crazy Achmed fucked around with this message at 05:03 on Oct 26, 2020

# ? Oct 26, 2020 04:24

SpaceAceJase: Nov 8, 2008; and you
have proved
to be...

a real shitty poster,
and a real james

Dracula at his computer clicking the link that says "Your Account"

# ? Oct 26, 2020 08:41

Moo Cowabunga: Jun 15, 2009; [Office Worker.

Moo Cowabunga fucked around with this message at 08:03 on Mar 8, 2021

# ? Oct 26, 2020 08:45

Hammerite: Mar 9, 2007; And you don't remember what I said here, either, but it was pompous and stupid.; Jade Ear Joe

SpaceAceJase posted:

Dracula at his computer clicking the link that says "Your Account"

lol

# ? Oct 26, 2020 12:12

Hammerite: Mar 9, 2007; And you don't remember what I said here, either, but it was pompous and stupid.; Jade Ear Joe

dracula in the zoom meeting: uh guys something is wrong, I can't see myself in my webcam picture... can you guys see me? you can? uh... oh ok I just needed to change a setting, I'm good now

# ? Oct 26, 2020 12:15

Cybernetic Vermin: Apr 18, 2005

Hammerite posted:

dracula in the zoom meeting: uh guys something is wrong, I can't see myself in my webcam picture... can you guys see me? you can? uh... oh ok I just needed to change a setting, I'm good now

this is a pretty great dumb joke.

# ? Oct 26, 2020 12:55

President Beep: Apr 30, 2009; i have to have a car because otherwise i cant drive around the country solving mysteries while being doggedly pursued by federal marshals for a crime i did not commit (9/11)

dracula faking connection issues to dodge the stakeholders meeting.

# ? Oct 26, 2020 13:47

President Beep: Apr 30, 2009; i have to have a car because otherwise i cant drive around the country solving mysteries while being doggedly pursued by federal marshals for a crime i did not commit (9/11)

Cybernetic Vermin posted:

this is a pretty great dumb joke.

it really is

# ? Oct 26, 2020 13:49

Fart Sandwiches: Apr 4, 2006; i never asked for this

President Beep posted:

dracula faking connection issues to dodge the stakeholders meeting.

lmao

# ? Oct 26, 2020 14:10

Inexplicable Humblebrag: Sep 20, 2003

SpaceAceJase posted:

Dracula at his computer clicking the link that says "Your Account"

lol

# ? Oct 26, 2020 14:23

carry on then: Jul 10, 2010; by VideoGames
(and can't post for 10 years!)

dracula flinching when someone asks to "shine a little daylight on this issue"

# ? Oct 26, 2020 15:03

Fart Sandwiches: Apr 4, 2006; i never asked for this

Dracula uses literal echolocation when he says �I�ll ping you offline�

# ? Oct 26, 2020 15:16

Michael Transactions: Nov 11, 2013

He sure has been a real pain in the neck!

# ? Oct 26, 2020 15:16

Moo Cowabunga: Jun 15, 2009; [Office Worker.

# ? Oct 26, 2020 17:19

Fuzzy Mammal: Aug 15, 2001; Lipstick Apathy

"yeah dracula's my boss. he's not the worst. actually, he's kind of a nice strigoi"

# ? Oct 26, 2020 17:20

rotor: Jun 11, 2001; classic case of pineapple derangement syndrome

SpaceAceJase posted:

Dracula at his computer clicking the link that says "Your Account"

# ? Oct 26, 2020 17:31

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Share Bear posted:

scrum in the back of my dragula

from a previous thread:

quote:

route through the switches
and css glitches
dslam in the back of my
eula

# ? Oct 26, 2020 17:46

Share Bear: Apr 27, 2004

SpaceAceJase posted:

Dracula at his computer clicking the link that says "Your Account"

# ? Oct 26, 2020 18:27

President Beep: Apr 30, 2009; i have to have a car because otherwise i cant drive around the country solving mysteries while being doggedly pursued by federal marshals for a crime i did not commit (9/11)

i finally understand that post and lol.

# ? Oct 26, 2020 18:33

Kenny Logins: Jan 11, 2011; EVERY MORNING I WAKE UP AND OPEN PALM SLAM A WHITE WHALE INTO THE PEQUOD. IT'S HELL'S HEART AND RIGHT THEN AND THERE I STRIKE AT THEE ALONGSIDE WITH THE MAIN CHARACTER, ISHMAEL.

SuppressdPuberty93 posted:

:/

hell yeah work sucks

# ? Oct 26, 2020 18:42

Soricidus: Oct 21, 2010; freedom-hating statist shill

gently caress, I made a turn on your monitor joke at him and now hr want a chat

# ? Oct 27, 2020 08:15

President Beep: Apr 30, 2009; i have to have a car because otherwise i cant drive around the country solving mysteries while being doggedly pursued by federal marshals for a crime i did not commit (9/11)

god dracula lighten up. this is america, not cancel-vania

# ? Oct 27, 2020 09:58

Cold on a Cob: Feb 6, 2006; i've seen so much, i'm going blind
and i'm brain dead virtually; College Slice

your boss Dracula comes in later hacking up a storm
"jeez boss you're looking a little pale"
"i know i can't stop coffin hahaha"
luckily it was just a cold and he's fine after a few weeks :unsmith:

# ? Oct 27, 2020 13:48

Kenny Logins: Jan 11, 2011; EVERY MORNING I WAKE UP AND OPEN PALM SLAM A WHITE WHALE INTO THE PEQUOD. IT'S HELL'S HEART AND RIGHT THEN AND THERE I STRIKE AT THEE ALONGSIDE WITH THE MAIN CHARACTER, ISHMAEL.

Cold on a Cob posted:

your boss Dracula comes in later hacking up a storm
"jeez boss you're looking a little pale"
"i know i can't stop coffin hahaha"
luckily it was just a cold and he's fine after a few weeks

https://twitter.com/kennethlogins/status/1029359136323129344?s=21

# ? Oct 27, 2020 13:51

Laslow: Jul 18, 2007

i don�t wanna be around when his nepotism hire failson and his shithead buddy trevor inevitably gently caress everything up.

# ? Nov 12, 2020 07:14

4lokos basilisk: Jul 17, 2008

SpaceAceJase posted:

Dracula at his computer clicking the link that says "Your Account"

# ? Nov 12, 2020 12:36

4lokos basilisk: Jul 17, 2008

Dracula is very bad at management because he would rather work with .bat files

# ? Nov 12, 2020 13:59

AWWNAW: Dec 30, 2008

communities of practice

# ? Dec 3, 2020 01:56

President Beep: Apr 30, 2009; i have to have a car because otherwise i cant drive around the country solving mysteries while being doggedly pursued by federal marshals for a crime i did not commit (9/11)

vlan dracul

# ? Dec 3, 2020 02:05