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Hot yoga might be a good way to start out learning meditation, since at the end when you're all sweaty and tired you relax in corpse pose for a few minutes. Your muscles feel a lot different after putting them to their stretchy limits especially in a hot as hell room, which should help you "distract" yourself in the way meditation is supposed to distract you. When I was a yoga instructor, I'd guide people into meditation at the end of class in our compact hot room at 102 fahrenheit. I'd tell people to relax on their back and slowly tell them to focus on each muscle one at a time: "you might feel your wrists becoming more heavy... now your elbows... into your shoulders", blah blah, some hypnosis-esque talk to get people into a state of mind where they're thinking about what they're feeling right now rather than their past or future. Then I'd let them relax there as I'd go around and give brief shoulder massages to people that appear to not be fully relaxed. This helped people let go and become absorbed in their meditation. One time this one cutie in class looked a bit tense so I went over with the usual routine to get her to relax. I figured out the reason for the lack of relaxation when the stink hit my nostrils. The queef stench released by her salami sphincter relaxation wafted through the room at a slow-moving-disaster’s pace. I was patient zero since I was in closest proximity to the blast radius. The heat of the room magnified the intensity of the deadly scent. It took time to travel and I could see everyone tense up row by row as the cloud of evil hit them one by one. It started with a wiggle of the nose. Then a gag of the throat. Each individual went from a great sense of relaxation into fierce tension. I was impressed. They were still in the now. They were focusing on how they were feeling at that very moment instead of worrying about their past or future. It was the greatest display of meditation I'd ever seen. I usually stay after meditation to wake people up and do the whole namaste speech, but this time I told everyone to relax another 5 minutes as I escaped the gas tomb so I could save my nose. The stink stuck in the room no matter how many times we sprayed everything down. We would usually spritz some lemon lavender scent all over after class for any sweat smells, but the doom smell brought forth by the wind-relieving relaxation couldn’t be masked. It endured for weeks until I finally gave up and turned in my notice to the owner so that my nose wouldn’t have to suffer in that room anymore. Later, the owner told me they never got the stink smell out and that the building had to be destroyed.   
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Mar 15, 2023 18:34
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| # ¿ May 9, 2024 14:17 |
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