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Right you are Mike, and this putt is made all the more difficult by the notoriously tricky Shady Dunes greens, and the fact that notable space warlord Xor has set up his Pagoda of Death on the 13th and demands Earth's most powerful warriors face him in mortal combat. |
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Nov 4, 2020 13:37
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| # ? May 1, 2024 00:27 |
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Oh and the putt has leaned left, and- yes, it seems like the Phantom of Hole 8 has immediately reaped Mr. Simmons soul as punishment. Tom these are the kinds of situations you've got to be prepared for at this level of play, he has nobody to blame but himself
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Nov 4, 2020 13:39
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there it is Mike, just like you called it. eyes fixed on the hole, shaking his butt for the signal wait a second Tom this isn’t any normal signal. is he?.. he must be- goodness Mike i cannot believe my eyes but they are channeling! to those tuned in, we have never seen anything like this before truly a spectacle for the putting world today. this is history, folks. in the past we’ve seen summoning, conjuring, auras, chakras... even Mike’s grandmother true, Tom! and what a ferocious spirit she is! half of this course is still doomed for eternity thanks to her what a pistol that woman forrrr sure so what’s he channeling here Mike? hard to say, looks like a portal? you mean out of bounds? well, Tom, not exactly. cosmic putts have been banned since the wormhole tragedy of the year 20E7VFG ah yes, the supernova of love something like that. however, there is a loophole with other dimensions. we can’t be certain what’s happening on the other side — there could be an entirely separate putting competition going on, therefore not going out of bounds. but hey, if the ball ends up back here in one piece then i say play on makes sense. maybe it’s the dimension where you’re the good looking one eaaaasy there, Tom. my grandmother might hear you |
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Nov 4, 2020 18:42
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that took a bad bounce, but he may be able to get out of the bunker and onto the green if he can avoid the cat turds that have been slowly accumulating during the course of the international groundskeeper's strike. |
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Nov 4, 2020 22:19
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now, you have to remember that this green is directly above a first nations burial mound, and if you forgo the observations of respect you're gonna get cursed. make sure to pack tobacco, sweetgrass and sage for hole 7!
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Nov 4, 2020 22:38
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i stand by the windmill |
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Nov 4, 2020 22:41
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Macnult posted:there it is Mike, just like you called it. eyes fixed on the hole, shaking his butt for the signal
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Nov 4, 2020 23:09
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Ooh, this is not good for Guiterrez, he's hit it straight into the bunker. We haven't heard anything but rumors from there lately but the consensus is that not only is Hitler still alive, but he's also really angry. Guiterrez looked to have fourth nicely in hand after the morning session but it looks like he's really going to have to work for it this afternoon. |
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Nov 5, 2020 00:21
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lol at every post
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Nov 5, 2020 00:59
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Welcome back to the Windy Pines Open, where Michael Williams has just managed to solve the sphinx's 2nd riddle after a disasterous bunker shot.. If he can decipher the final clues he just might make par.
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Nov 5, 2020 01:01
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Yinlock posted:Welcome back to the Windy Pines Open, where Michael Williams has just managed to solve the sphinx's 2nd riddle after a disasterous bunker shot.. If he can decipher the final clues he just might make par. lmao |
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Nov 5, 2020 05:08
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"Morris standing at the tee now aghast as his away drive has hooked badly past the dogleg. He has no whistle, no dog and there are no sheep anywhere in sight. There's no gate to enter the green and even if he somehow got the sheep onto the green, there's not even a fence to keep them in." "You know Tom, it's like he didn't even come prepared for a sheepdog trial today" |
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Nov 5, 2020 10:27
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"well mike, we're now looking at the 8th hole where bob mcpherson's day has just gotten a lot worse. he's hooked it way off the fairway, and now if he wants to make the green in 3 he's going to have to get past the anor londo archers." |
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Nov 5, 2020 18:51
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Well Mike, I didn't think F. B. was going to make that putt, but he managed to score an eagle on this crucial hole! Though it does make you wonder, why didn't the eagle help out when he was teeing up? |
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Nov 5, 2020 19:20
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Prof. Crocodile posted:"well mike, we're now looking at the 8th hole where bob mcpherson's day has just gotten a lot worse. he's hooked it way off the fairway, and now if he wants to make the green in 3 he's going to have to get past the anor londo archers."
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Nov 6, 2020 22:32
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Tom, this nomadic tribe of warriors has a millennia-old tradition of declaring an eternal blood-feud by throwing small, white stones at each-others tents. This year they appear to have set up shop in the fairway here on the 17th, which is just more pressure that Gallagher, who is still suffering from that wizard's curse from the 12th, doesn't need
Yinlock fucked around with this message at 22:41 on Nov 6, 2020
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Nov 6, 2020 22:37
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Ooh, right into the quantum bunker. He'll be able to see where the ball lies, but he'll have no idea how fast it's going. |
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Nov 6, 2020 23:04
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Yinlock posted:Tom, this nomadic tribe of warriors has a millennia-old tradition of declaring an eternal blood-feud by throwing small, white stones at each-others tents. This year they appear to have set up shop in the fairway here on the 17th, which is just more pressure that Gallagher, who is still suffering from that wizard's curse from the 12th, doesn't need |
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Nov 7, 2020 01:09
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Guiterrez has been taking a very long time about his approach shot to the 18th, and now he appears to have given it all up for the love of a good woman. A very long term move this, offering happiness, stability and an escape from the tightrope from poverty to wealth that all golf pros must precariously negotiate, but to do it at this stage of the game is really going to do nothing for his score. |
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Nov 7, 2020 01:13
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now watch this shot carefully. weir hit the gravity reversal switch off his drive, so he's gonna have to play the rest of this hole upside down, but damned if mike isn't a pro.
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Nov 7, 2020 01:21
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oooooh ouch, looks like brooke is gonna end up in the quicksand trap, and she already took a mulligan after a howling monkey stole her ball so she's gonna have to play where it lies.
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Nov 7, 2020 01:23
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*ATTENTION ALL ATTENDEES* WE DID NOT PUT UP THE BLUE WALL WE DO NOT UNDERSTAND IT'S SONG DO NOT, I REPEAT DO NOT TRUST IT 
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Nov 7, 2020 01:27
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Campbell seems to be developing a nasty late game case of the yips. I guess that's not too surprising after he was run down by a foaming pack of dogs on the 3rd earlier today. |
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Nov 7, 2020 01:31
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Nov 7, 2020 01:46
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Heather Papps posted:*ATTENTION ALL ATTENDEES*
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Nov 7, 2020 01:54
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Jaguars! posted:Guiterrez has been taking a very long time about his approach shot to the 18th, and now he appears to have given it all up for the love of a good woman. A very long term move this, offering happiness, stability and an escape from the tightrope from poverty to wealth that all golf pros must precariously negotiate, but to do it at this stage of the game is really going to do nothing for his score.
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Nov 7, 2020 04:40
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Jaguars! posted:Guiterrez has been taking a very long time about his approach shot to the 18th, and now he appears to have given it all up for the love of a good woman. A very long term move this, offering happiness, stability and an escape from the tightrope from poverty to wealth that all golf pros must precariously negotiate, but to do it at this stage of the game is really going to do nothing for his score.
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Nov 7, 2020 09:04
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Putting's been easier on the 5th ever since an active volcano formed around it but the fairway has killed many a talented golfer.
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Nov 7, 2020 11:18
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super sweet best pal posted:Putting's been easier on the 5th ever since an active volcano formed around it but the fairway has killed many a talented golfer. Hitting out of lava is always a risky proposition, Mike, doubly so given that no golfer has ever survived the process
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Nov 9, 2020 02:15
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"Halsett emerges from the bushes having proven to the all who would cast doubt that he is no longer a boy, but a man. But at what cost? I'll tell you, Tom. He's now 3 strokes behind the play." |
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Nov 9, 2020 03:54
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Jaguars! posted:"Halsett emerges from the bushes having proven to the all who would cast doubt that he is no longer a boy, but a man. But at what cost? I'll tell you, Tom. He's now 3 strokes behind the play."
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Nov 10, 2020 01:19
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Is that- yes, a dome of pure darkness has engulfed the green. It seems like Garcia has called down a Shadow Putt upon Williams. If he fails to make par here, his soul will be trapped in a dimension of endless darkness for all eternity. Mike this is the kind of poor sportsmanship you're supposed to leave behind when you enter the pro circuit.
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Nov 10, 2020 01:22
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For now, Williams seems not to hear the keening cries of the anguished souls of those golfers who have failed before him. His composure here is a testament to how well he's played this season, but the Dark Tendrils are creeping from the Shadow Putt to obscure his vision, warping his view of the green. Let's watch. |
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Nov 10, 2020 01:34
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Rags to Liches posted:For now, Williams seems not to hear the keening cries of the anguished souls of those golfers who have failed before him. His composure here is a testament to how well he's played this season, but the Dark Tendrils are creeping from the Shadow Putt to obscure his vision, warping his view of the green. And the putt has dropped! The thirsting Golf Shadowlords aren't going to like that one bit, Tom. Too right, Mike, as Garcia appears to have been hollowed out by furious darkness, while Williams has obtained the 4th piece of the Omegaclub. While debate still rages amongst the Golf Council on if the Omegaclub- forged by God to hit a sick chip-in and cause the Big Bang- will be tournament-legal, he's nevertheless got to be feeling good about this one. Yinlock fucked around with this message at 22:46 on Nov 10, 2020
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Nov 10, 2020 22:43
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Yinlock posted:And the putt has dropped! The thirsting Golf Shadowlords aren't going to like that one bit, Tom. Indeed! While the rest of the field trudges along today's first round of this year's Quest for the Masters, Williams has found himself among the top of the leaderboard. It's going to be tough to catch him unless someone invokes a Skins Rite. |
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Nov 11, 2020 03:35
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Crowe approaches the 8th tee with some confidence apparent. Deservedly so after a fine performance on his last hole, with a sublime initial drive. He got past the greenkeeper with a combination of fireballs, teleportation and releasing a trained mole onto the green. However, he only has two lives left and is down to his last Plasma Blast, which he'll have to husband carefully on the back nine. |
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Nov 18, 2020 06:03
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Rash is off to a great start here in the BT Open, coming in under par on both of the first two holes and with a spectacular drive here on the 3rd. Let's see how he does with the bike section. |
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Nov 18, 2020 16:39
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now pay close attention here: normally you'd have to answer the bunker goblins riddles three to get your ball back, but arnie has long held the ring of sand. and... he's displaying the ring to the goblin. just beautiful form. now listen carefu- *shrieeeeeeeek* - yup, watch that goblin toss that ball right onto the green, with no stroke penalty. just amazing.
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Nov 18, 2020 19:18
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Let's see how Ells deals with the goblins now. He's prevaricating on the first riddle, seems to be asking whether he can get a pen and paper. Oh! He's thrown a bag of milk all over the goblins! Tom, I've been on the tour for nearly 40 years now and I've NEVER seen such a disgusting lack of sportsmanship. |
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Nov 18, 2020 20:16
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| # ? May 1, 2024 00:27 |
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A pall of green smoke is rising over the clubhouse now, indicating that the golf elders have performed the rites of golf jurisprudence. Katie, what's the word on the ground? Well Mike, Ells has been cursed with a four stroke penalty. That's right, he must stand in the water feature and receive four whiplash strokes of the razor-suckered tentacles of the kraken without blubbing before he is allowed back on the tour. |
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Nov 18, 2020 20:24
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