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WITCHCRAFT
Aug 28, 2007

Berries That Burn
wrap: the wonkiest low carb sprouted grain free range goofball miracle flatbread wrap you can source at the store. this will probably be the most expensive component. if you make it yourself, find a recipe for protein powder tortillas/pancakes/crepes that use whey protein as their main ingredient.

beans:
dried chickpeas re-hydrated in apple cider vinegar (with THE MOTHER!!!) or natto

protein: something in the category of: cheap hot dogs, spam, potted meat, chipped beef, slim jims. GERBER PUREED TURKEY AND GRAVY SLURRY

filling 1: as mentioned by others, marshmallow fluff or circus peanuts
filling 2: we need a veg or fruit in there. canned spinach, or candied ginger
filling 3: let's get some spice. pickled hot cherry peppers, or laoganma (hot chili oil with sichuan peppercorn)

salsa (that's spanish for sauce): creamy horseradish sauce. A few packs of Arby's horsey sauce or Burger King zesty onion ring sauce would work in a pinch

WITCHCRAFT fucked around with this message at 07:55 on Nov 6, 2020

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WITCHCRAFT
Aug 28, 2007

Berries That Burn

DemonDarkhorse posted:

if you're going to do pickled herring, order from local favorite http://www.mabaensch.com/. they've got original and sour cream varieties. my dad eats a jar of this poo poo every new year's eve.

My parents do this but with smoked oysters. Dash of hot sauce, on a cracker. Only on New Year's Eve.

I like them served this way, but the though of smoked oysters + Fluff is horrifying.

Maybe you could get a small can each of smoked oysters, sardines, and octopus? Maybe also a can of those tiny shrimps that are the size of a fingernail clipping?

My protein vote is "seafood medley out of a series of small cans"

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