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dog nougat
Apr 8, 2009
Tortilla: somehow make mustard, peanut butter, and buckwheat flour into a tortilla.

Protein: Cold hotdogs, the super cheap kind that are dyed red. Diced.

Filling: Capers: 1/3 cup

Filling 2: Peel of 4 oranges stewed in fish stock until super soft or whatever. Cut into strips.

Filling 3: Crushed Peppermint Discs: 10

Salsa (thats spanish for sauce): miracle whip thinned with dr pepper and cooked until a smooth, homogenous sauce. (Not sure if this part is possible)

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dog nougat
Apr 8, 2009
Bakker Bucket Burrito

dog nougat
Apr 8, 2009

TheAardvark posted:

All right lots of good suggestions so far, but we need to get some order in here to come up with the final thing. So let's focus for a moment:

Beans:
Bean soaking liquid (if dried):

I am leaning towards chickpeas as the most appropriate bean for a Trump burrito. Soaking liquid?

Malort

The beans are inconsequential at that point.

dog nougat
Apr 8, 2009
Beans: coffee beans
Bean soaking liquid (if dried): Cotton Candy Faygo

dog nougat
Apr 8, 2009

Saalkin posted:

I think it should have some capers in it.

Absolutely. My recipe from earlier has em.

dog nougat posted:

Tortilla: somehow make mustard, peanut butter, and buckwheat flour into a tortilla.

Protein: Cold hotdogs, the super cheap kind that are dyed red. Diced.

Filling: Capers: 1/3 cup

Filling 2: Peel of 4 oranges stewed in fish stock until super soft or whatever. Cut into strips.

Filling 3: Crushed Peppermint Discs: 10

Salsa (thats spanish for sauce): miracle whip thinned with dr pepper and cooked until a smooth, homogenous sauce. (Not sure if this part is possible)

Maybe orange peel "candied" in fish sauce or some other vile liquid.

dog nougat
Apr 8, 2009
Double post.

Aspic burrito.

Like make some unholy burrito concoction and suspend it in hotdog water gelatin.

Or just make every filling a gelatinous version of whatever it's supposed to be.

Bean gelatin :colbert:

Edit: or just a layered tube of gelatin "fillings" wrapped in a tortilla

dog nougat
Apr 8, 2009

Chrs posted:

I thought that said Piss Lips for way to long

The phrase is Piss Gums actually :colbert:

Captain Piss Gums.

dog nougat
Apr 8, 2009
cheese: the stinkiest blue cheese you can find, or the cheapest American cheese slices you can get

salsa: whole cloves and the liquid from a can of sardines (or any other canned seafood product really) soaked until the cloves become soft

guacamole: instant pistachio pudding

cilantro: grass clippings, or sour apple jolly ranchers crushed into little flakes

Edit: add some okra to the clove and fish juice mixture and cook until thickened

dog nougat fucked around with this message at 00:21 on Nov 10, 2020

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dog nougat
Apr 8, 2009
If the tortilla hasn't been sorted yet, I recommend a buckwheat tortilla.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6azsrL0uFaE

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