Lil Swamp Booger Baby posted:

Wonderful Christmastime blasting in a tiny attic as I cry big blubbering baby tears, each time Paul McCartney sings "Simply having a wonderful Christmastime." it gets more and more aggressive until he is practically shrieking it with rage. I start screaming at the top of my lungs to drown it out but Paul McCartney only begins to holler "Simply having a wonderful Christmastime" louder and louder until it's a thunderous bellow rattling the windows of the unfurnished attic.
Finally I launch myself out the window Alex DeLarge style with my tears streaming through the air behind me, mingling with drops of November rain pattering down from above.

As he hears my body thudding on the dense, wet mud outside, Santa chuckles to himself while his elves gathered around him smile cruelly in mutual satisfaction.

He sips his hot cocoa - extra dash of brandy - with a single pinky flourished outwards.

"That's what he gets for suggesting Christmas in November."