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Prithee, fellow Men and Women of Renowne and Learning whom inhabite our Village; i am missing my Hogge, a large and portly beast of tan and gold which hamst ran itself afoul of geese in the middle of the night, fleeing ento ye undergrowth, and now my wife and daughter berate me with the wrath of a thousand lashéd tongues for allowing our most sacred of animales and barggainning chippes to return to the forest from whence it came. If you possese any knowledge of the Hogge, or am able to divine its Whereabouts through chiromancy, scrying, or the Darke Arttes, share with me your knowledge lest I am shamed in fronte of ye village elders and be made to wear the Simpleton's Bonnet in front of my wife and children
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Nov 17, 2020 02:22
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| # ? May 13, 2024 16:58 |
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fucke the fhite directly out mine affhole.
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Nov 17, 2020 02:25
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pretty sure he was permabanned
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Nov 17, 2020 02:27
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Lil Swamp Booger Baby posted:fucke the fhite directly out mine affhole. if this will returne my Hogge i am willinge to endure the trial
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Nov 17, 2020 02:31
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It has now been Seven Dayes and Eighteen Houres that the Hogge has gone missing. My every waking thoughts are of the Hogge, I cannot escape its clutch, for when I sleep e'en the Hooge has a hold of me, its tight grip sickening in with its claws until i am rent asunder by worries of the Hogge, not to mention the continued mewlings of my beloved wife, who has taken the absence of the Hogge most unjustly. Currently she spends most of her time in the chicken coop weeping with Great Anguishe, although it is uncleare whether tis anguish over the Hoeege or o'er the continued Degeneration of her Husband, now Cursed and Thrice-Mad. On the morrow I shall visit the Prieaste, for although i have never leanred to Reade nor have I seen nor heard a Byble, I feel onlye a Man of the Cloth will give my brain repreeve from the continued longing thoughts that plague my days of the Haouge.
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Nov 17, 2020 03:01
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Yae verily, mightn't you describe the testicle sac of yon Hogge?
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Nov 17, 2020 04:29
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Your.. haughg? 
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Nov 17, 2020 04:53
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> On the morrow I shall visit the Prieaste Begone with thy shamefull Popery, surely Satan hast holde of thy Hogge’s gyante Bollucks; such is the fate of the Lyvestock of Idolators.
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Nov 17, 2020 05:07
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oh dope posted:Yae verily, mightn't you describe the testicle sac of yon Hogge? beshited his sac is, seen em shited with me own cursed eyes
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Nov 17, 2020 06:35
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I thinketh I smelled some frying bacon and bbq earlier or some poo poo, probably a couple ribs and some pulled pork but I’m sure the cold slaw is warm slaw now (never the right temperature ftfy).
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Nov 17, 2020 09:16
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Is this hogge wild?
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Nov 17, 2020 09:39
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Pifse is stor'd in the Hogge's jewels.
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Nov 17, 2020 12:37
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Cubone posted:pretty sure he was permabanned
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Nov 17, 2020 12:38
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Smoking pork, getting high on the hogge
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Nov 17, 2020 12:41
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if thinest be looking for hogge whomst tooke thinest hogge whomst founde thinest hogge
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Nov 17, 2020 14:35
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Behold! I’ve got a Holde of thine Hogge anon! Come hither and Retrieveth It! *grabs balls*
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Nov 17, 2020 14:52
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The wanton wills of Hogges and men quake at the boots of the wrath of god. We are but pustules on the breathing face of this Earth and I applaud every effort that it makes to wipe every single one of us off. Myself included.
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Nov 17, 2020 14:56
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Lil Swamp Booger Baby posted:fucke the fhite directly out mine affhole. 
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Nov 17, 2020 15:01
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Nov 17, 2020 15:05
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The Ladye downe bye the River hath tolde me she saw the Hogge himselfe carryed awaye on a Carte by a Man of the Orient.
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Nov 17, 2020 15:08
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him name ist Olde Tan Hogge
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Nov 17, 2020 15:10
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mayhaps thine hogge was meanst to be frei, kindest goone
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Nov 17, 2020 15:36
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ahah, cet imbécile Anglais a-t-il perdu son porc? veut-il dire son animal ou son vilain enfant?
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Nov 17, 2020 15:37
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I detect some inconsistencies in OPs writing style that lead me to believe he's an imposter. The only explanation is that the hog has devoured his owner and now seeks to replace him.
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Nov 17, 2020 15:42
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Xaintrailles posted:I detect some inconsistencies in OPs writing style that lead me to believe he's an imposter. The only explanation is that the hog has devoured his owner and now seeks to replace him. THAT'S HOG IS A WITCH! BURN THE WITCH! Fetch the hickory wood. The kind that will give us a good smoke. And we must down the witch in savory sauce to humiliate it before burning. **Smacks lips**
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Nov 17, 2020 15:50
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oh dope posted:Yae verily, mightn't you describe the testicle sac of yon Hogge? O, so Terryble and Meaty be the sacke of the Hogge, that it doth need to be kept behind a Strong Fence, lest the village gentlewomen pass by and Expire due to the Hogge's Wanton Brazenness and Hideousness of Mein Chicken Butt posted:> On the morrow I shall visit the Prieaste I must Admitte that I am afeared that such has happenned to mine Haugge, for as of late I have been Lazy and Idle and neglected to clean the Penne of the Hogge, which as ye know under our Scripture is the foulest of sins, and now I am Certaine that only Satan or the Lorde can save mine Hogge and its Bollocks, DarkSoulsTantrum posted:The Ladye downe bye the River hath tolde me she saw the Hogge himselfe carryed awaye on a Carte by a Man of the Orient. I thank thee most Verily and True for the Leade, for my Wife has long suspected Thievery and Foreigners in the pursuit of the Hougege, and I myself have grown Suspicious of the Lady downe bye the River for she has a penchannte for mocking my Wife when she attends to the water to wash our Underthings and the Lady does Pointe and Laughe and Query whether tis true that I only owne One Pair of Longstockings
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Nov 17, 2020 16:24
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Nov 17, 2020 16:32
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Verily: I imploreth thee, fellowe serfs and am'ricans: with what Devyse or Wepen doth I slayeth the thritty to fifty wylde Hogges yond runneth with terryble spede into mine own yard whence mine own bawbling tots playeth??
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Nov 17, 2020 16:43
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Plz don’t doxx my clamming farm cruel wench. 
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Nov 17, 2020 17:19
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Scrye me a river, fiende and sucklist upon mine nipples whiche goed hathe provided for thye sustainance and mine owne poephoele from whence I shite. Dine therefore frome theme greedily!!
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Nov 17, 2020 17:36
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Mine Hogge is Redde and Throbbes mightily! Come, Scrybe of the Original Poste, warm thy hands and Stroke it thus, and with thine own Eyes see what Spewes Forthe!
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Nov 17, 2020 17:50
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DrPossum posted:mayhaps thine hogge was meanst to be frei, kindest goone i have Thought about this under the ere light of the waning moon, and when the Winds are most Quiete and the Howling of the Wolves doth Cease, I wish in mine Hearte that the Hogge did indeed a-runneth towards freidom, for many of us have also wont to dream of running ere into the woods in syrch of freidom ournstselves
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Nov 17, 2020 17:58
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Mine owne Hogge is Free and fulle of Lyfe Verily I wille deliver it unto thy Wyfe!
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Nov 17, 2020 19:13
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I hath stumbled upon a wooden ring with a mounted amber jem of thine most luminiscious luster, whath fairest maiden hath wrought this horny spectacle? Wasth bequeefed from royalty or did someone spill some motherfuckin cracker jacks? 
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Nov 17, 2020 19:46
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hwæt cwist þū, OPus? Hū stōras is beallas þīnes hogges??? Hwæt!!!
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Nov 17, 2020 19:50
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I don’t know whuth you said but bespeckled to meet you. 
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Nov 17, 2020 20:16
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Lo! and the sky was torn asunder by two Wolves, with fangs of gold and silver. The first wolf howled and the Emperor’s New Clothes unraveled. The people saw through his glamour and we howled along. The second wolf descended from the heavens, beautiful and deadly. With her jaws she eviscerated the Emperor’s men and women, held their feet to the fire, and they crowed and begged for mercy. Finally a great Hog rose from the deep southern swamps. A mightier boar could not be found, this Hogg had already survived a slaughter, and he no longer feared death. This Hog buried his tusks in the Earth and tore down the roots of their rotten oaks, rending their hands cold and dead, from which he stripped their Wands of Thunder & Lightning -The Ende Times -Book of Gottfried, Verse 3 The Times of Wolf & Hogg
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Nov 17, 2020 21:06
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praise betide more like i am gay, be pride
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Nov 17, 2020 21:08
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Verily canst one pity thone poor pauper, abject in poverty, a merest two seashells 'pon which to cleansest self.
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Nov 17, 2020 21:54
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Forsooth! What 'tis it I beholde afore mine owne visage! It 'tis but a gape-ed chamber, of sortes unknown, withe two handes aside, and looke! A ringe upon the finger most fair!
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Nov 17, 2020 21:58
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