|
"WHERE'S THE BEEF" I scream into Pac-Man's humming fuckhole. His eyes well up with tears as he turns to me and gasps, "Mr. Spicoli, Mr. Spicoli give me the formuoli". I gave him the formuoli all over his saggin tits and then he gave me the key to the next level.
|
#
?
Nov 26, 2020 01:49
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 29, 2024 15:38 |
|
|
Captain Picard turned in his captains chair to look at me, the Notauthor. His huge jugs bobbling under his Mega Milk T. "You have huge tits captain" I said. "Yes I do." He said back. "...and you've always been my...REAL #1." I could not believe this. But it was what he said so then I did believe it.
|
|
#
?
Nov 26, 2020 02:36
|
|
|
Wow this is better than the real books.
|
|
#
?
Nov 26, 2020 02:38
|
|
|
Chomp8645 posted:imo if you're doing this absurd IP mashup thing then it should glow blue if orcs are nearby, red if orks are nearby. Eat poo poo.
|
|
#
?
Nov 26, 2020 02:52
|
|
|
gleebster posted:Eat poo poo. I don't understand this aggro tbh. Do I know you?
|
|
#
?
Nov 26, 2020 03:00
|
|
|
Chomp8645 posted:Video games are computer programs, they have to be in binary. Duh!!!  The future is non-binary. 
|
|
#
?
Nov 26, 2020 03:01
|
|
|
turbocake posted:Sounds like you'd like to listen to the 372 pages we'll never get back podcast where rifftrax hosts reads and suffers through this awful awful book. Starts at episode zero. This is seriously great and entertaining. They just loving tear the book to shreds.. Looking forward to more.
|
|
#
?
Nov 26, 2020 03:06
|
|
|
When I entered the next room I could not believe what I was seeing but it was there in front of me so then I did believe it again. What it was was Mario and Luigi from the videogames that were very popular so long ago. I knew this because I know about popular video games and the characters Mario and Luigi who are in some of them. What I did not expect to see was Luigi really sucking on Mario's penis like that! This had not happened in the Mario and Luigi games that I had read and seen so much about myself personally as one who recognized them. When Mario saw me he said "IT'SA ME, MAAARIO" in his hilarious high pitched voice, which is what I expected because that is how Mario talks and that is one of his popular catch phrases. Luigi stopped sucking on his weiner. I said "Wow Super Mario, that's great." I had wanted to say "That's Super" but saying "Wow Super Mario that's Super" sounds bad and I didn't want to upset Super Mario or Luigi from the hit video game franchise from Nintendo. "Mr. Mario can I have the magic item I need?" "Yes" Said Super Mario and then gave me it. Then Luigi went back to sucking on his weird looking dick. "ha HA!" chortled Mario. "Thank you Mario" I said and then left.
|
|
#
?
Nov 26, 2020 03:09
|
|
|
Big Beef City posted:When I entered the next room I could not believe what I was seeing but it was there in front of me so then I did believe it again. "Thank you so much for to sucking my D" - Mario "Super" Mario
|
|
#
?
Nov 26, 2020 03:14
|
|
|
As much as I have poo poo on this thread about this terrible book I read that the Oasis has been improved so you can smell things too inside of it. You know drat well aint nobody using deodorant
|
|
#
?
Nov 26, 2020 03:20
|
|
|
Katamari Democracy posted:As much as I have poo poo on this thread about this terrible book I read that the Oasis has been improved so you can smell things too inside of it. That's because they've all set their olfactory attribute to the legendary "Tali sweat".
|
|
#
?
Nov 26, 2020 03:21
|
|
|
Someone got me this is a gift. This is real.
|
|
#
?
Nov 26, 2020 03:22
|
|
|
Chomp8645 posted:I don't understand this aggro tbh. Do I know you? No, but you suck.
|
|
#
?
Nov 26, 2020 03:23
|
|
|
|
|
#
?
Nov 26, 2020 03:24
|
|
|
gleebster posted:No, but you suck. Alright.
|
|
#
?
Nov 26, 2020 03:27
|
|
|
This book is so bad you can’t even write parody. It’s like a fever dream. 
|
|
#
?
Nov 26, 2020 03:29
|
|
|
Still reeling from losing my virginity.
|
|
#
?
Nov 26, 2020 03:30
|
|
|
Chomp8645 posted:Still reeling from losing my virginity. We all are... we all are.
|
|
#
?
Nov 26, 2020 03:43
|
|
|
A few years ago I did a Let's Read thread of the original. If you want to see basically the entire first book with goons making fun of it, it's in there. I already beat the game of reading the sequel. I promise it is worse than these excerpts suggest and includes some incredibly disturbing poo poo like the virtual ghost of John Hughes and his family hugging the protagonists on a planet where every John Hughes movie plays simultaneously every day and the ending being AI clone transhumanist bullshit. Cline put a few quick patches over the modern criticism of the original book (like the transphobia, homophobia, and racism) and doubled down on the reference overdosing and extremely weird sex and relationship stuff.
|
|
#
?
Nov 26, 2020 06:20
|
|
|
I saw a funny twitter thread with highlights of RP2, but the piss baby publishers didn't like it and did takedowns of all the images of book passages. I didn't know book publishers could even do that.
|
|
#
?
Nov 26, 2020 06:32
|
|
|
smoobles posted:I saw a funny twitter thread with highlights of RP2, but the piss baby publishers didn't like it and did takedowns of all the images of book passages. I didn't know book publishers could even do that. The ones they were taking down is in that legal gray area of "How much transcription is too much?" Fortunately, my threads fall under the radar. It's definitely had a Streisand Effect though (a reference to famous singer Barba Streisand, who won an award for A Star is Born, and gained accidental internet fame after her attempts to take down pictures of her house for a beach erosion survey led to the pictures being widely published instead. Fortunately, all OASIS users signed a user agreement with the GSS to allow us to do this to them whenever they want.)
|
|
#
?
Nov 26, 2020 06:34
|
|
|
Doctor J Off posted:Oh yeah I listened to that. It was cathartic I remember Mike's absolute relief when he realized that the book never once referenced MST3k.
|
|
#
?
Nov 26, 2020 06:43
|
|
|
was the guy at the end of the movie loving his child self?
|
|
#
?
Nov 26, 2020 06:51
|
|
|
Well, from listening to the first 372 pages episode on the new book, I've now learned that in Ernest Cline's future world it's apparently now pretty popular to make your children live through a simulation of their mothers giving birth to them when they get old enough. What?
|
|
#
?
Nov 26, 2020 07:08
|
|
|
I thought the ecto-1 was an ambulance.
|
|
#
?
Nov 26, 2020 07:50
|
|
|
Randarkman posted:Well, from listening to the first 372 pages episode on the new book, I've now learned that in Ernest Cline's future world it's apparently now pretty popular to make your children live through a simulation of their mothers giving birth to them when they get old enough. What? Oh yeah. It gets worse. Have fun.
|
|
#
?
Nov 26, 2020 07:50
|
|
|
bossy lady posted:I thought the ecto-1 was an ambulance. In the 50s they generally used the same vehicle models for both ambulances and hearses, since they were mostly hauling around people on stretchers. (Ambulances becoming more truck-like where the EMTs could stand came a lot later.)
|
|
#
?
Nov 26, 2020 08:11
|
|
|
I like the fact that this future virtual estates 'huge' garage holds an entire 4 cars. Wow. Palatial.
|
|
#
?
Nov 26, 2020 10:28
|
|
|
Ramrod Hotshot posted:These books are a perfect unintentional parody of this era of pop culture, which is basically just “remember this?” 
|
|
#
?
Nov 26, 2020 11:06
|
|
|
Big Beef City posted:I like the fact that this future virtual estates 'huge' garage holds an entire 4 cars. Millennials imagining property ownership.
|
|
#
?
Nov 26, 2020 17:12
|
|
|
Ready player one and two make more sense when you realise they’re not a light hearted fantasy adventure in pop culture, but a disturbing Cyberpunk dystopia where the only way to live is to be connected into a computer and recite memes every day till you die.
|
|
#
?
Nov 26, 2020 18:01
|
|
|
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bWPMJwHrWFU
|
|
#
?
Nov 26, 2020 18:20
|
|
|
More like Ready Player Poo
|
|
#
?
Nov 26, 2020 18:21
|
|
|
I miss the the old class system where at the same time they were grinding your face in the dirt, your betters at least had the good sense to be literate and aesthetically sophisticated. How much more palatable to be lorded over by Elon Musk if he wasn't' constantly tweeting "bacon is epic"
|
|
#
?
Nov 26, 2020 18:30
|
|
|
I said come in! posted:I unironically liked the movie. It removed a lot of the dumb writing of the book and trimmed it down into something that made a lot more sense. The only people that didn't like it, were nerds trying too hard. I like it too. Then someone pointed out that the story arch went from "The world is poo poo and people hide from reality in video games" to "The world is poo poo and people hide from reality in video games but now the main character Willy Wonka'd his way into a zillion dollars, Yay!". Now I don't like it anymore.
|
|
#
?
Nov 26, 2020 18:36
|
|
|
Slotducks posted:Y'all haven't even posted the piss poor attempt at being inclusive to non-binary people it was the same conclusion that Flea, the Magician came to in 1995’s classic JRPG Chrono Trigger: “man, woman; beauty is power and I have the power baby.” A JRPG refers to a Japanese role playing game, which differ from western role playing games in their focus on storytelling and characterization at the expense of stat development. My quote is a more accurate translation than the original game’s. The original version was written by Ted Woolsey over the course of two weeks which is pretty impressive when you think about it although prone to errors and inaccuracies. Anyway I wanted to gently caress the transsexual, which was the classic term they used for them in the 80s
|
|
#
?
Nov 26, 2020 18:51
|
|
|
Aruan posted:This book is so bad you can’t even write parody. I'll take a F-F.oni to go please.
|
|
#
?
Nov 26, 2020 19:48
|
|
|
My sister got me the first book a couple Christmases ago accompanied by the bone-chilling "this book is SO you!" I didn't have the heart to tell her what I thought about it but I might have to if she gets me the second one.
Ror fucked around with this message at 20:14 on Nov 26, 2020 |
|
#
?
Nov 26, 2020 20:12
|
|
|
Dilkington posted:I miss the the old class system where at the same time they were grinding your face in the dirt, your betters at least had the good sense to be literate and aesthetically sophisticated. New monney gonna new money *puffs cigar, shoots fox*
|
|
#
?
Nov 26, 2020 20:48
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 29, 2024 15:38 |
|
|
What do Harry Knowles, Kevin Spacey and Harvey Weinstein have in common, aside from being awful sex pests? Why, they were all involved with Ernie's first movie project: Fanboys! You have them (and many other people who are probably not sex pests) to thank for this. Their actions on getting that film made put Ernest Cline on the radar, giving him inroads to pitch all his script proposals to various publishers who would've otherwise thrown his requests in the trash. Now that he's proven himself capable of producing garbage that sells, vultures that thrive on exploiting "geek culture" are lining up to work with him.
|
|
#
?
Nov 27, 2020 13:07
|
|
