Stunt_enby posted:

THIS IS NOT loving REAL HOLY poo poo HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA WHAT THE gently caress IS WRONG WITH STRAIGHT PEOPLE

A Fancy Hat posted:

"Wait, so this is what it's like... to be Superman?"

"That's right," said Superman. "This is what it's like to be me. You seem to be handling it extremely well, Wade. Better than I did when I first developed my powers."

"Well, you don't play as many games as I have without learning a LITTLE something about superpowers!"

Wade delicately used his heat vision to finish toasting his grilled cheese sandwich. It smelled amazing and he couldn't wait to take a bite.

Suddenly, the wall exploded behind them and out burst Shadow the Hedgehog. But something was wrong - he had a metal helmet on his head that completely covered his face. He pointed his trademark gun at Wade and Superman.

"Oh no!" said Wade. "Looks like whoever's mind controlling everyone got to Shadow, too!"

"Well old chum, let's see if you're faster than a speeding bullet!"

Wade was, he instantly disarmed Shadow and removed the mind control helmet. Shadow then quickly explained that the mind control device had been placed on his head by Magneto, from the X-Men entertainment franchise. Magneto was working with a mysterious other made scientist, too.

"It's gotta be Lex Luthor!" said Superman.

"No. I'm using your powers now Superman, and I can see the energy aura around every single living thing. Have you ever done this?"

"No, to be honest you're using my powers far better than I ever did. Wade, you truly are a Superman for the modern era. By the way, have you ever heard of the author Ernest Cline? I believe I would like to meet him one day, he seems like a great mind, a Superman in his own right."

Slotducks posted:

Stare into my dead lifeless eyes as I hamfistedly paint a brush of inclusion for non-binaries by only mentioning the only way they're important and its through sex. have you guys had sex? i've had all types of sex

look at my cool jacket it's the basis for pages 38 - 46 of the first book lolol epic!

Kaiser Mazoku posted:

I never realized how much he looks like Quinton Reviews.

quote:

I ran down the corridor with the BFG cradled in my arms, my high-tops (inspired by the ones Ellen Ripley wore in Aliens, a highly influential sci-fi action film directed by James Cameron) squeaked against the smooth plasteel flooring of The Deathstar. The Deathstar was the flagship weapon of The Empire, the evil antagonists of the hit Star Wars franchise. It was capable of destroying entire planets. I couldn't believe it, here I was carrying one of the greatest weapons ever known while running around inside one of the greatest weapons ever known.

Just as I was about to round the corridor, a Gremlin shot out of a maintenance hatch and lunged toward me, his Crysknife at the ready. I snapped my vision toward him and leveled my gun with perfect accuracy, what the little creature from Gremlins didn't know was that I had Atr3mis augment my reflexes using a hack inspired by the augmentation system from Deus Ex, a respected PC game that came out at the end of The Golden Years. Deus Ex took place in a cyberpunk universe where players could use high-tech augmentations to modify their characters abilities; vision, strength, dexterity, and intelligence could all be enhanced. Players had what felt like boundless freedom at the time, and although the low-poly sandbox environments pale in comparison to the life-like realism of The Oasis I couldn't resist having some part of that old game in my code.

With the Gremlin now a smoking crater, I resumed my approach toward the real threat, the Raptors who had taken over the control room. Ruthless and efficient, they had been sent here by the man who tried to kill Atre3mis, but why? Steven Speilberg introduced the world to Raptors with his smash-hit film Jurassic Park. Clearly, someone had managed to replicate the dinosaur cloning technology theorized in the film, all I had to do was follow the screams.

quote:

Wade begins to abuse his powers in tyrannical ways large and small: tracking down his online critics and using his godlike admin power to kill their avatars; filing lawsuits against a band that made fun of him and suing its members into bankruptcy; digging into the personal documents of a female player who tries to help him, hacking her camera, and spying on her chats; and casually offering a $1 billion reward to anyone who helps him solve an ’80s trivia riddle while most of the world lives in crushing poverty.

quote:

Wade announces that he has single-handedly solved police brutality and systematic bias by replacing human officers with security drones and remote-controlled “telebots” (because nothing would solve the problems of the police like transforming them into a force of private-funded robocops administered by a tech megacorporation).

quote:

If there is anything relevant to praise about Ready Player Two, it is how Cline inadvertently nails the inner monologue of entitled, out-of-touch tech moguls, particularly their limited understanding of how human beings actually work, their belief that deep, systematic problems have simple technological solutions, and their conviction that despite all evidence to the contrary, they are a still a hero whose haters would stop them from changing the world for the better.

ErrEff posted:

Ready Player Two Is a Horror Story but Doesn’t Know It

Giggle Goose posted:

This one is too on the nose cause of the Ernest Cline insert but honestly ever since Stephen King stuck himself in his own novels in one of the greats acts of hubris of all time, anything seems possible.

Klyith posted:

god drat that's an evisceration

Elderbean posted:

Are any goons brave enough to read this for the rest of us?

Mordja posted:

...of SCIENCE! posted:

It's kind of awesome that mocking Ready Player One has itself just become nerds memorizing and reciting a collection of obscure references and then smirking because they recognize them. Quoting Nerd Porn Auteur and referencing the time Ernest Cline lent his DeLorean to George RR Martin, namedropping 372 Pages We'll Never Get Back and that one Jenny Nicholson video, reciting long lists of all the things that Wade Wilson recites long lists of, just a big log of references built up over half a decade that is just as dense and impenetrable as the book itself.

yoloer420 posted:

Is this actually from the book? If it is I'll read it.

quote:

The cold air glittered in the moonlight, pregnant with dust. Scarlet curtains towered into the midnight recess of the ceiling. They were satin--I checked. My Strifes clicked as I passed over ancient polished marble; crunching velvetly as I crossed the untrod carpet set before a throne upon which no king or lord reclined. It was as if someone had written about the room at the top of Dracula's Castle rather than simply stating that it looked like Dracula's Castle.

I knew it was here by the prickling in my bones: the last surviving Super Hornio Brothers tape in the universe.

Sisal Two-Step posted:

How many novels does that guy usually experience

Sisal Two-Step posted:

How many novels does that guy usually experience

A Fancy Hat posted:

Wade punched the coordinates into the hyper-ship.

8-6-7-5-3-0-9

"Jenny, you've got MY number." He said to himself with a grin. The ship responded and began its journey to what the Digi-scientists were calling the "Warp Zone", named after the area from Super Mario Bros for the NES (or Super Famicom if you were Japanese) where you could enter various pipes to to progress further in the game.

The Nostromo from Alien lurched to full speed, bolstered by a few mods that Wade had made. Engines from the Starship Enterprise, an energy convertor from the Millenium Falcon, and more.

"Atomic batteries to power. Turbines to speed!"

Wade said this and laughed to himself. It was, of course, a quote from Batman, the classic television show. Suddenly, there was a commotion in the ship as Super Mario and Eeyore burst into the control room.

"Mamma Mia! We've just been targeted by a ship being powered by the Ghoulies! It's shaped like a toilet, just like the iconic movie poster! We gotta lose them!"

"Mario, please. This is all according to keikaku, which means my plan."

Fried Watermelon posted:

Does he talk about Japanese stuff or is it solely the western version of stuff

Fried Watermelon posted:

Does he talk about Japanese stuff or is it solely the western version of stuff