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Hi, welcome to the medieval butt museum. From time immemorial when people were tired and weary, they would simply lie down in the dirt and the mire on their bellies, or on their backs, or even, in times of famine, on their sides. During the epoch of history we call the medieval period, however, all cultures world-wide stumbled upon a crucial innovation-- the butt, a soft and round body-part which allowed the human body to sit on chair and recline in an upright but still comfortable position. Here at the medieval butt museum we celebrate and chronicle all of these butts, to both celebrate, and understand, and finally, to remember.    The museum is always open to generous donations to our collections or volunteer tour-guides so please wander our hall and enjoy our splendid array of butts. |
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Dec 18, 2020 19:09
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| # ? May 5, 2024 11:48 |
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Cannot talk about medieval butts without the Japanese fart scrolls
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Dec 18, 2020 19:15
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He-Gassen all right
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Dec 18, 2020 19:17
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 Hmmmmm |
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Dec 18, 2020 19:19
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 Hey y'all |
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Dec 18, 2020 19:21
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This 1588 by Cornelius van Haarlem was considered a "great leap forward" for butts: Nobody had given the drat haunch this kind of vinegar before and the world was not ready. Note the shocked faces on the bystanders-- interestingly, van Haarlem had originally painted pleasant and demure faces on these men, but the juiciness of the hams on display spontaneously changed them. Van Haarlem was shortly thereafter burnt at the stake. Not all cultures treated the nascent technology of the butt with such fear and disgust. The famous Devi Jagadambi temple in Khajuraho, built between the 9th and 11th centuries, depicts a female water spirit rightfully taking pride in her good butt:  This 12th century statue of a similar spirit shows her taking a long look for herself, demonstrating the proper respect and veneration for butts, a dignity that Europeans lagged far behind in, often disrespecting the butts with trumpets, monster faces, or other crude devices. 
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Dec 18, 2020 19:31
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I'd like 2 hear more about butts of old asap op
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Dec 18, 2020 19:45
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the classic opus which belongs in the late enlightenment gallery
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Dec 18, 2020 19:59
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 As explained on the chat thread, this piece shows Henry the Lion, duce of Saxony and Bavaria, being shown a lot of butts when he wanted to enter a city. As you can see, the horse was entirely on board with the butts, but Henry waged war over it. He just didn't want to share.
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Dec 18, 2020 20:17
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Let's take a scientific look at butts playing instruments. Butts used to play a major role in the music scene of the old days, as is shown in countless artworks and descriptions: The butts usually play trumpets of some sorts, making sounds with their farts.  Sometimes there were cases where they used the butt instruments as weapons or to intimate foes.   Even detached butts did nothing but play music.  It is believed that the term "the brown sound" comes from this time, where butts were a major player in the medieval musical industry.
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Dec 18, 2020 20:24
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 Butt on Freiburg cathedral; buttocks being the foremost method to ward off evil spirits in olden times. |
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Dec 18, 2020 20:44
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I would like to share some strong interdisciplinary work from our colleagues over in BSS:Pigsfeet on Rye posted:See also the story of Abu Hasan and the Great Fart As well as the following corollary research http://www.pitt.edu/~dash/type1176.html quote:There were once three happy-go-lucky fellows who made a pact with the devil, promising their souls to him on a certain date if he would make them rich. A further condition was that he would have to grant them one last wish when he came to get them. The devil agreed to this.
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Dec 18, 2020 20:55
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Dec 18, 2020 21:39
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i love marginalia. it's just the medieval version of bored kids sketching dumb stuff during class, just w/ 20-40 year old scribes copying the few books left in western christendom |
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Dec 18, 2020 21:43
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I feel like the three big genres here are "marginalia" "apotropaic butt" and "literal diagram of hemorrhoid treatment"   
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Dec 18, 2020 21:50
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blowing tobacco smoke up some other guy's rear end is a totes legit medical procedure! |
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Dec 18, 2020 21:56
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That's where the phrase "not just blowing smoke up your rear end" comes from btw. |
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Dec 18, 2020 22:03
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someone else watched QI at some point |
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Dec 18, 2020 22:07
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I am learning so much and would actually visit this museum irl. |
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Dec 18, 2020 22:08
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RickRogers posted:I am learning so much and would actually visit this museum irl. there's an irl penis museum in reykjavik, iceland, for what its worth |
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Dec 18, 2020 22:10
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Many years ago when I first started grad school I was planning on specializing in early modern medical rhetoric, this is mostly because I had a mentor who I really really loved working with who had me working on some really interesting projects. Anyway I wound up veering in a different direction but I still really recommend reading medieval medical textbooks and manuals for a weird and wild time. Moses Maimonides the great Jewish philosopher actually wrote a book called On Hemorrhoids which basically covers the long and short of it. A lot of the gruesome or funny looking treatments were for very rich folks only. If you weren't rich you either had to just deal with your roids on your own or try to mitigate them by eating fiber, squatting to poop, or turning to any number of folk remedies or magical cures. Others had them surgically cut off, or tied off with surgical thread until the blood-flow dried up and they just dropped off. The classical treatment was cauterizing the things out which you know. I'd rather just have a hemorrhoid personally. Others, for better or worse, thought having a hemorrhoid was actually good for you, and that it gave men something analogous to menstruation to get out bad blood. Well there you have it.
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Dec 18, 2020 22:18
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butt related medical treatments are probably some of the oldest done by mankind |
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Dec 18, 2020 22:23
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Dec 18, 2020 23:45
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I went ahead and grabbed a couple books off the sex and sexuality section of my bookshelf. Here's a small selection of content. From Eros In Pompeii:   From Sex In History  Not butts, but random fun facts: 
pseudorandom fucked around with this message at 23:57 on Dec 18, 2020 |
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Dec 18, 2020 23:54
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1 percent uncertain |
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Dec 19, 2020 00:37
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I gotta see what's on the other end of that asterisk...
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Dec 19, 2020 00:52
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How Wonderful! posted:I gotta see what's on the other end of that asterisk... A butthole looks a lot like an asterisk 
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Dec 19, 2020 00:53
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1% uncertain butthole
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Dec 19, 2020 00:59
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24 percent the penis, 4 percent the vulva, all uncertain |
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Dec 19, 2020 01:09
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actually now that i read the thing, its total bullshit. running percentages when the sample size is around a hundred?? all it tells us is that the people who preserved those particular pots were into butt stuff |
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Dec 19, 2020 01:20
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Dec 19, 2020 01:39
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Dec 19, 2020 02:00
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the "loving-NOS" pot |
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Dec 19, 2020 03:13
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"Look at these 100+ pots. Every gently caress and suck and butthole the light touches is our kingdom" "What about that shadowy pot?" "YOU MUST NEVER GO THERE" |
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Dec 19, 2020 03:16
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If they analyzed all 100 of my stirrup-spout pots they would tell quite a different story.
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Dec 19, 2020 03:16
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How Wonderful! posted:If they analyzed all 100 of my stirrup-spout pots they would tell quite a different story. BYOB project: analyze all 100 of How Wonderful's stirrup-spout pots
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Dec 19, 2020 04:37
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Docent: "Please don't tuchis the artwork." |
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Dec 19, 2020 04:45
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How Wonderful! posted:I gotta see what's on the other end of that asterisk... Sorry for the tease, here's the asterisk:  edit: figure at this point, I was once again cutting off important information if anyone decided to read the rest of the page. Here's the next page finishing that passage, and a picture of one of the pots in question.   for sex pothttps://i.imgur.com/5WoiywG.jpg Edit 2: I wish modern bongs looked like that. pseudorandom fucked around with this message at 07:06 on Dec 19, 2020 |
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Dec 19, 2020 06:49
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Dec 19, 2020 06:52
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| # ? May 5, 2024 11:48 |
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alnilam posted:BYOB project: analyze all 100 of How Wonderful's stirrup-spout pots 96% of my pots are PG to PG-13, 4% are the vulva but tasteful. I don't support zoophilia in this household but I do support Zoobooks and begrudgingly accept Zootopia so I throw each of those topics a modest 3% worth of pity-pots.
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Dec 19, 2020 07:16
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