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Leng posted:I THOUGHT I recognized your art style! I'm pretty sure I could pick your stuff out of the line up of other art she's had done for her books. Haha, yeah. I haven’t done a lot—just a couple of posters for cons. Pays well, though, compared to most art jobs I can get. Cassandra Jean is their go-to artist for most stuff. She’s very good. Much better than I am.
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May 27, 2021 15:36
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I’ve been very quiet lately because i broke my loving hand. Still writing but it sucks balls to have only one index finger and no shift key to work with. This took way too long to type.
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Jun 4, 2021 03:36
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Ouch. Have you tried dictation/speech to text? It didn't work for me, but it might beat sitting there for ages typing!
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Jun 6, 2021 07:16
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I tried that, but apparently my brain doesn’t think the same when speaking aloud. Also, there is not a single place in my house where I can find privacy. It’s a little better now that I’m out of the sling. I can use my index finger! Guess I’ll work on that cover for a while. Only need one hand for that 
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Jun 6, 2021 19:53
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newts posted:Only need one hand for that  low hanging fruit, I admit. In all seriousness, I hope your hand heals quickly, not being able to use it sucks!
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Jun 7, 2021 01:59
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I am back, baby! Long time no see  Hand is better (wow, that sucked!) and I’ve been working. I’m just going to post a link to the entirety of what I have for book 2. This has a bunch of comments on it from some very helpful people. Feel free to add some if you like. This is about 80% done, 2nd draft. Uh, content warnings for references to child abuse, sex work, drug abuse, murder, domestic violence. Nothing graphic. The Night People: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1BplgQDzuFcx6FHD2tfEQFHMCP1qlENM-itBHcnBSAzE/edit I am going to do final edits on book 1, hopefully come up with a cover, and then publish it. I’ll post some cover mock-ups here soon. They all suck, but this is a no-investment project, so that is what I have.
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Aug 9, 2021 02:49
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Okay, so cover mock-ups. I’m really stuck on a cover probably because (1) I know it’s really loving important and (2) I’m too cheap to hire someone to make one for me. As a semi-competent artist (and abysmal graphic designer) I can’t justify wasting money on a silly hobby. I know that’s a terrible attitude, but whatever. Here are my attempts so far: Ugh.  Ugly photo manip.  No.  Maybe…?  I think I might actually like the last one if I zoom in a bit and give the final thing a lot more work.
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Aug 21, 2021 00:27
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newts posted:
Oh, I LIKE that last one. It's got a gritty feel to it that the first one doesn't (but I like the colors and composition of the first one).
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Aug 21, 2021 02:24
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poo poo, I should check in on this thread more often. I'm glad you're back and your hand is better! Working on reading through your book 2 draft right now, and I concur with Leng on the cover. I don't know if you're familiar with Leonid Afremov at all, but the style reminds me of his work, just darker, maybe mixed with some Van Gogh. I dig it!
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Sep 7, 2021 04:27
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A Small Car posted:poo poo, I should check in on this thread more often. I'm glad you're back and your hand is better! Working on reading through your book 2 draft right now, and I concur with Leng on the cover. I don't know if you're familiar with Leonid Afremov at all, but the style reminds me of his work, just darker, maybe mixed with some Van Gogh. I dig it! Thanks for reading! Feel free to leave any and all comments. I’m thinking right now about how to improve book 2–I think it has some pacing issues and I need to figure out what I want to do with Sam’s character arc. Also, yay! I think I’m going to stick with this version of the cover. I can always change it up later if I hate it.
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Sep 7, 2021 15:53
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I am almost ready to publish this thing! Yay! It’s exciting and terrifying at the same time. (Not sure why—no one will read it).
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Sep 11, 2021 01:35
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That's awesome, congratulations! I also wouldn't be so sure nobody will read it, these are exactly the kind of books I (and I'm sure plenty of other people) pick up on a whim because the cover is cool, the blurb is enticing, what have you. I know I look forward to the published version!
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Sep 13, 2021 22:10
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A Small Car posted:That's awesome, congratulations! I also wouldn't be so sure nobody will read it, these are exactly the kind of books I (and I'm sure plenty of other people) pick up on a whim because the cover is cool, the blurb is enticing, what have you. I know I look forward to the published version! I’ll probably buy a few copies to put in the little libraries in my town. 
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Sep 13, 2021 23:18
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A Small Car posted:That's awesome, congratulations! I also wouldn't be so sure nobody will read it, these are exactly the kind of books I (and I'm sure plenty of other people) pick up on a whim because the cover is cool, the blurb is enticing, what have you. I know I look forward to the published version! You’re awesome! I’m looking forward to it, too. Trying to format this thing in Word is pretty much my worst nightmare, but I think I’m making progress. White Chocolate posted:I’ll probably buy a few copies to put in the little libraries in my town. Ah, that’s sweet! Good idea, too. We have a ton of those things around. Maybe I’ll do that…
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Sep 14, 2021 03:32
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Well I finally finished the book 2 draft, and I'm very disappointed that I can't immediately read the next book! Is book 3 going to start with them going after the Canadians? I love that the villains are Canadians, by the way 
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Sep 15, 2021 01:41
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A Small Car posted:Well I finally finished the book 2 draft, and I'm very disappointed that I can't immediately read the next book! Is book 3 going to start with them going after the Canadians? I love that the villains are Canadians, by the way Ha! I haven’t even finished book2 yet (and I think I left the version here on a horrible cliffhanger). There will be a book 3 just for completeness sake, but I don’t have plans for them to go to Canada. Maybe I should…
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Sep 15, 2021 03:21
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Ahhhh, I was thinking you ended it there because it is such a cliffhanger and then the next book would pick up with them in Canada! Regardless, I loved it and look forward to anything else you happen to write/share.
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Sep 15, 2021 03:47
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i like the first cover you deemed 'ugh' the most, but it doesn't look like the usual ebook cover and the last one ('maybe') does because it has a huge font. anyway all i really had to say was i like the first image.
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Oct 6, 2021 03:53
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1 and 4 stand out the most to me as small images that I would see on an e-reader. I don't know if you have already, but you should also take a look at what the covers would look like in B+W in case someone is seeing them on a paperwhite or something similar.
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Oct 11, 2021 02:39
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roomtone posted:i like the first cover you deemed 'ugh' the most, but it doesn't look like the usual ebook cover and the last one ('maybe') does because it has a huge font. anyway all i really had to say was i like the first image. Coquito Ergo Sum posted:1 and 4 stand out the most to me as small images that I would see on an e-reader. I don't know if you have already, but you should also take a look at what the covers would look like in B+W in case someone is seeing them on a paperwhite or something similar. Thanks, guys! I’m going for a version of 4: I’ve changed the font and adjusted some colors. I’ll see what I can do about a black and white version as far as contrast.
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Oct 11, 2021 20:10
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Tada! Book is done and up on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09KP5NVZ1/ Really don’t think I would’ve finished this dumb thing without all the help and support I got here. Not really sure if I care if it sells at all because It’s been a fun learning experience. Spent zero dollars (but not zero effort) and this is the result.
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Nov 1, 2021 15:57
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That is very cool!! I like the new title too. Will buy a copy as soon as I get a chance!
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Nov 4, 2021 23:26
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A Small Car posted:That is very cool!! I like the new title too. Will buy a copy as soon as I get a chance! Oh, hey! Sorry I didn’t see this get updated. You’ve been so helpful and encouraging through this whole process. Let me know if you want me to send you a copy for free, either ebook or paperback. I haven’t seen the paperback yet, so it’s a gamble!
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Nov 11, 2021 02:03
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You'll have a guaranteed sale when my weekend starts.
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Nov 11, 2021 04:09
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Coquito Ergo Sum posted:You'll have a guaranteed sale when my weekend starts. Thank you! I really appreciate that 
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Nov 12, 2021 16:24
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I bought the book as well and am reading through it. Up to chapter 3 so far. Are you okay if I post my first impressions?
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Nov 13, 2021 06:15
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DropTheAnvil posted:I bought the book as well and am reading through it. Up to chapter 3 so far. Are you okay if I post my first impressions? Thank you and, of course! I’d appreciate any and all comments and crits.
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Nov 13, 2021 15:20
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newts posted:Thank you and, of course! I’d appreciate any and all comments and crits. So I'm on chapter 11 , and have compiled my general thoughts. Trying to keep it spoilery free, so I'll make vague references to a few things. In general, this feels like I'm reading a well edited novel from a first-time author. I hope you continue writing, as I am looking forward to the sequel. With that being said, here is my critique. Things that I like: The worldbuilding around the sleepers, them being like bugs. I like how the PIDS work, and how they originated. Some of the details about how the sleepers came to be and the world are interesting. This is also quite the accomplishment to as this is in third person, where world building paragraphs can drag on. Things that I think I will like: The murder plot, albeit it I bet you that Reconciliation event will play a heavy part into it, I am interested in who murdered what, and the general inconsistences in the murder scene (Getting stabbed in the left arm was a neat idea) Rush and Lucia's relationship: I am a sucker for underdogs, and snappy dialogue. While I am waiting to see if these two are underdogs, the talks these two have are fun to read. Things that I dislike: Your starting first chapters. The first chapter is adequate, but uninspired. it's like a textbook example of how to open a fantasy murder investigation book, and I have read it before. Your 2nd chapter suffers heavily as everyone is just going through the motions, and every character is bland. This gets worse later on, when you use chapter 2 as an example of racism (Them not doing their job properly). Nothing in chapter 2 suggests they are doing a hard amount of work or a less amount of work. Rush being a super sexy sex god that has sex: Every time Rush is in the scene, and there is a woman, the woman swoons over him. This isn't quite going into the romance side of things, but add on that Rush can mentally manipulate woman, and it get squicky fast. I don't want to have to think about consent and all of its ramifications while reading your murder mystery, I want to get invested in your characters and holler for their success. There's also another problem with Rush being a super sexy sex god that has sex and it is below. Things that I am worried about, or feel unsure about : You are writing a Noir story, and so far every living woman apart from the protagonist has expressed an interest in Rush. It seems like we are falling into the Noir aspect of describing women bust size first, then intelligence (Dresden files I'm looking at you.) or where our women are either dead, Femme Fatales, or need to be rescued. While you aren't as bad as some of the other books I've read, it's just really weird that all the women are acting this way. I don't know if you are trying to pay homage to Noir Novels, or have some kind of twist coming. EDIT: Things are improving in Chapter 11. The "No really I'm not racist" paragraphs. So we have some racism parallels with the Sleepers vs Humans. And our protagonist has to be sympathetic, so we get these really awkward "No really I'm not racist" paragraphs, where the character literally thinks "I'm not like those people". Now I don't know if this is trying to highlight how unconfident our protagonist is, but these type of paragraphs come up 3 times in quick succession in Chapter 6. Stockton: Is he your personal hate magnet? He's racist, misogynistic, homophonic and just a general terrible human being. I'm worried that he's just a cardboard villain, but well done on getting me to hate someone. Your protagonist: To sum up my issue with your protagonist, I can quote what her catchphrase is. "Let it go." So many times your protagonist shy's away from confrontation, thinks a ton, and lets Rush (The far more interesting character) lead the way. It's something I'm worried about, because your character is bland and has no motivation. She has no connection to the murder, the only reason why she wants to solve it is because its her first case, and no, I don't believe her for a second when she solemnly says "I promised the deceased I would find her killer." Her motivations are all over the place, and there hasn't been a scene setting up what her primary motivation is. I'm not very good with subtle characters, and while Linda might be subtly dealing with anxiety, or no confidence, but man, does she do her best to avoid happening to the plot. She comes off as very passive. So overall, I really enjoy the world you have created. The murder and its setup is adequate, I'll keep reading. But , when your main character do anything apart from investigating, things start to fall apart. Rush makes me worried we are in a bad romance novel, and Lucia is so bland, has no motivation and is unsure of herself, that I'm not invested in her character. DropTheAnvil fucked around with this message at 04:54 on Nov 16, 2021 |
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Nov 16, 2021 04:47
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Thanks so much for the very detailed crits! So, yeah, I realize there are a lot of issues. I’m mostly satisfied with what I’ve written—I can definitely see where I could improve things. My mystery is pretty low-key. My main character could do more. But at the same time, she’s not meant to be a crack detective, she’s more dogged. This was my first attempt at an original novel, so I decided to not really be a perfectionist and just finish it up and go through the whole self-publishing experience. I agree that Lucia is kind of a blank slate. I think she has personality, but that personality is a little boring, which is something she is aware of. Oh, and, yes, she’s definitely racist, but trying to justify why she thinks she’s not actually racist. Sam has his own issues, which might explain (or not) why he’s written the way he is. I feel like I can’t win on the romance/lack of romance thing! My beta readers were overwhelmingly disappointed that there wasn’t a traditional romance arc in the book (and there isn’t) even if the blurb really hints that there might be one. So, I don’t think you have to worry about that happening. Thanks for reading!
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Nov 16, 2021 17:13
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newts posted:Oh, hey! Sorry I didn’t see this get updated. You’ve been so helpful and encouraging through this whole process. Let me know if you want me to send you a copy for free, either ebook or paperback. I haven’t seen the paperback yet, so it’s a gamble! There are paper copies!!!! I would be more than happy to purchase a paper copy from you if that's a possibility, I vastly prefer them to ebooks. I appreciate the offer for a free copy, but I'd feel better actually supporting all your time and effort in some small way!
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Nov 16, 2021 20:30
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I would love to send you a copy! I’ll need your address, though, and I don’t have private messages. I can just stick my email up for you and then delete it when you have it. Would that work?
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Nov 17, 2021 00:47
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Sure! You can also reach me at redacted if that's easier
A Small Car fucked around with this message at 03:10 on Nov 17, 2021 |
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Nov 17, 2021 02:52
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Got it! I sent you an email.
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Nov 17, 2021 02:57
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I would love to hear everyone else's reaction on Chapter 13, and newt, how you thought the revelation of Rush's character trait would go.
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Dec 3, 2021 03:36
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DropTheAnvil posted:I would love to hear everyone else's reaction on Chapter 13, and newt, how you thought the revelation of Rush's character trait would go. I mean, like probably four people in the world have read it so I don’t have much data. Can’t remember anything my beta readers brought up about it in particular. One of them was disappointed that there was no sex scene, but that was about it. As for how I thought it would go? I guess I’m not really sure what you mean. It’s not meant to be super deep—it’s genre fiction. I wanted my character to have an issue that made his life in his culture difficult, and would make some people question his ability to do his job.
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Dec 4, 2021 01:05
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Just a little warning here, the spoiler parts in the post is going to discuss how the book deals with sexual assault and consent. If you don't want to read about that stuff, skip the spoilered parts. So in Chapter 13, we find out that our deuteragonist, Rush, being a super sexy sex god is a subversion. It turns out that when his empathic abilities take over, people's desires imprint onto him and he naturally shifts into what they want. You want a best friend, BOOM, Rush is now your best friend. Lonely and want a sex buddy, Rush is your guy regardless of gender! So, I actually found this interesting and neat, and not just because it subverted my expectations. It makes the character sympathetic. It was well done, I was invested, I was interested, and then... Then chapter 14 happens. I don't know why, at the tail end of our Murder-Mystery-Conspiracy thriller, where we still have a lot of plot to get through, we decide to spend a whole chapter discussing the hyper-charged subject of consent and rape. We can sum up my thoughts on chapter 14 with this out of context quote "The Night CIty" posted:[RUSH] "I don't - I can't - experience rape the way other people do. I've never felt fear during sex." Either way, this is a huge thing to unpack, and we get literally two pages of reactions and discussion before this is shelved. Then the murder-mystery has to happen. So the problem now is we rush this scene, and the reader can get a lot of bad takes from the subject matter. Again, I had to be generous, look back at the whole novel and pick away at things, to come up with my in context opinion. The other problem we have with this scene is it turns into a "I am not a rapist" scene. Lucia expresses remorse over her actions, and here is a quote from the book "The Night CIty" posted:[LUCIA] "She'd never considered the incredibly hosed up possibility that she might accidentally rape someone before" This type of subject matter might be better suited for a literary novel, or placed in your story where we have more time to explore it. You can probably guess, I didn't like what happened, and cannot express my gratitude enough that you didn't write a sex scene. Putting that aside, I found that the murder mystery wasn't that satisfying. I love to play along, figure things out and be engaged in the mystery. So when it boils down to a few photographs not matching up with the evidence, I felt there was no way for the reader to help solve the mystery. In fact, the only way I knew who the culprit was is because it's telegraphed. Additionally, the way the mystery is solved doesn't show off your characters skills, and rather shows that they can in fact, do their job as police officers. It also felt odd that the mystery unravels into a conspiracy, that plays into the Reconcilliation vote. While I appreciate the fact that you ended the story, it felt rather rushed. Regardless, I enjoyed my time with the novel, up until the later chapters. The worldbuilding was great, and I will remember Rush as a character, think it was fantastic what his character is, and how he deals with society. Just think you went a bit too far in exploring it. I have a suggestion, you should read A murder of Mages. It does similar thing to your book, but does a good job with the characters. The main character in this book doesn't get overshadows by the deuteragonist, but still acts as audience surrogate. There is also class tension, and a normal mortal dealing with magical entities. Things I liked
Things that disappointed me
DropTheAnvil fucked around with this message at 18:53 on Dec 4, 2021 |
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Dec 4, 2021 18:49
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Hey, thanks again for the very thorough and thoughtful crits. I really appreciate it. Fair to say, I’d probably agree with most of them.DropTheAnvil posted:Just a little warning here, the spoiler parts in the post is going to discuss how the book deals with sexual assault and consent. If you don't want to read about that stuff, skip the spoilered parts. So, when I write my characters, I try to make them as realistic as possible. And to do that I always have to think about what they might do or say after something happens. Like: what questions do they ask, what associations do they make? Basically, what are the next logical thoughts that a ‘normal’ person might have. I think it’s understandable that Lucia might worry about the stuff she worries about in chapter 14, especially after what just almost happened. To both of them. She’s concerned about this. I think it would be odd if I introduced Rush’s abilities in this way and then nobody thought about it. Or had questions. As for the quote. I mean, I’m not sure that’s what I’ve intended you take from it. In that, I know how I meant it, but I’m not sure if that came across for you in the way I wanted. I’ll spoiler this because of subject matter. And maybe TMI. Rush is very messed up. And hasn’t really dealt with the fact that he’s been through a lot. He’s a sexual assault survivor, and it’s had a big impact on his life and the way he relates to people. He is not okay. And he is capable of consent—it’s just, unfortunately for him, easy to take his consent away. I hope it comes across through Lucia’s skepticism that what he’s really doing is lying to himself. Some of that is me working through my own issues as a survivor of assault. He’s in a place I was in once—where it was all okay as long as I told myself it wasn’t this terrible thing that had happened. That’s not to say that I’ve handled any of this well or deftly. Probably the opposite. quote:Either way, this is a huge thing to unpack, and we get literally two pages of reactions and discussion before this is shelved. Then the murder-mystery has to happen. So the problem now is we rush this scene, and the reader can get a lot of bad takes from the subject matter. Again, I had to be generous, look back at the whole novel and pick away at things, to come up with my in context opinion. The other problem we have with this scene is it turns into a "I am not a rapist" scene. Hmmm, I had to think about this for a while to decide how to respond. I’ll spoiler it too. I think it’s valid for Lucia to worry about what might have happened. This is new for her, and I think it would be weird if she didn’t worry. At the same time, she’s not a rapist. And she ended up stopping everything when she realized something was wrong. She is flawed, though. I think it’s okay to write flawed characters. Characters who do stuff that’s selfish or hurtful or wrong, without thinking about the implications first. I think it’s okay to write a character who does something that is possibly wrong or can be interpreted ambiguously—does Rush want to comfort her? I mean, maybe? Probably? But how can she be sure?—during a moment of weakness. And they can regret their actions later, if they’re that type of person. As for the subject matter, I think if Star Trek can tackle it, or even Lucifer can, then it’s not necessarily only appropriate for literature. I wrote a character who has issues with consent, so they discuss it. I’ve read or seen this trope a lot and I came away unsatisfied with the fact that there’s almost always no discussion of consent, or it’s really trite and easily solved. When it’s not easily solved for a character like Rush. I don’t necessarily see a problem with writing about that, especially in a book that also has racism, murder, drug abuse, etc. I suppose I could’ve just avoided writing a character with Rush’s ability. It’s something that’s been done over and over again anyway. Or just not introduced his ability in this way. In a really early draft, it was just introduced while they’re talking. It didn’t have any impact, and the final scene (where Rush gets controlled by the murderer) seemed to come out of nowhere. So, I changed it. quote:Putting that aside, I found that the murder mystery wasn't that satisfying. I love to play along, figure things out and be engaged in the mystery. So when it boils down to a few photographs not matching up with the evidence, I felt there was no way for the reader to help solve the mystery. In fact, the only way I knew who the culprit was is because it's telegraphed. Additionally, the way the mystery is solved doesn't show off your characters skills, and rather shows that they can in fact, do their job as police officers. Yeah, I’m unsatisfied with my murder mystery too. It’s hard to write a good one, with good clues. I’m not very good at it yet. So, two of my beta readers figured everything out and complained that my clues were too obvious. And it was unbelievable that Lucia hadn’t noticed them when they had. The switched syringe, for example, which they picked up on in chapter 5, I think, could only have been accomplished by someone in forensics, therefore, it had to be the one named character from forensics. My characters are not meant to be geniuses—I have no chance of writing a crack detective because I’m not smart enough. So I wanted them just to be decently good at their jobs. Or sometimes, when they’re not distracted by other things. So, yeah. quote:Regardless, I enjoyed my time with the novel, up until the later chapters. The worldbuilding was great, and I will remember Rush as a character, think it was fantastic what his character is, and how he deals with society. Just think you went a bit too far in exploring it. Again, thanks for the very detailed and helpful crits. I really appreciate you taking the time to read and comment.
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Dec 4, 2021 22:58
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DropTheAnvil posted:I would love to hear everyone else's reaction on Chapter 13, and newt, how you thought the revelation of Rush's character trait would go. It's been a long time since I initially read Chapter 13 and I've been through the book so many times at this point that it's hard to remember what my initial reactions were. All I can say is that for me, I thought the reveal was both in line with Sam's character and consistent with the discrepancies Lucia had spotted in his behavior, plus the little clues on his past when she pulled up his file in the system. DropTheAnvil posted:
I'm guessing you're worried that without further exploration of everything in context that some readers will take the wrong message from the book? I can see how someone might make that mistake, because Lucia's introspection around those points are quite subtle, but the nuances are there: in that scene where she does take advantage of Rush purposefully, she fully acknowledges that it's wrong and she knows that it's wrong, but she doesn't care I think the last part of that is what you have a problem with, in that it is there in the text at all, but I would disagree with its inherent presence being problematic at all, especially when you have flawed characters. It is a very real, human thing to know that something is wrong—and then to go on and ignore your conscience to do the wrong thing anyway because your emotions are overruling your executive brain functions for self-control. The only thing newts could have done to really hammer home the issues inherent in Sam's ability and how it affects his ability to give consent would be to expand on the sections of Lucia's introspection about how she knew it was wrong, etc. But I also kind of hate that both as a writer and as a reader, because it's quite patronizing to be bludgeoned in the face with long sections of character introspection like that, to the point where it's actually jarring/immersion breaking because it feels as if the author has inserted a giant PSA "  ALERT ALERT I AM THE AUTHOR AND THIS CHARACTER IS NOW MY MOUTHPIECE TO EXPRESS WHAT I REALLY THINK ABOUT THIS SUBJECT " just so the reader is left with no doubt as to the author's personal views on the subject. Like the text should be able to stand on its own and a nuanced analysis of it show that the characters are just being characters. I don't think exploration of these issues should be constrained to the realm of literary fiction. Characters are characters no matter what kind of fiction they exist in and these kinds of more complex issues give depth to characters. On the subject of having the issues explored at a different point of the novel instead, that wouldn't feel consistent with either plot or character. Structurally, the Lucia/Sam relationship is not the A plot, and this book is not a standalone novel, so you kind of can't really unearth this level of trauma without the characters going on a significant part of the journey together so there is that level of rapport between them, and if you did, it would feel horribly unnatural or derail the story entirely away from the murder plot and turn into something else. And the nature of the trauma is such that you can't really wave a magical wand around and "heal" it away, and if it was all dealt with entirely in one book, I absolutely wouldn't buy the resolution and it would quite possibly be an even worse message to give, especially when the characters are flawed in the first place. This is a first in series so what book 1 does for me is to set the expectations that there will be further exploration of the consent issues in subsequent books that will get dealt with over the series as a whole. The opening could have done a lot more to set the right tone promises so that when those issues cropped up, there wasn't as much of a surprise. But the stuff about the abuse of nocturnum children in orphanages, etc is all there in Chapter 2, albeit it is there in an understated way so you do need to do some work as a reader to get there. TL;DR, I dunno if there's a good way to handle these kinds of themes/issues. I feel like these days there is a trend towards a baseline assumption that just because a character espouses certain views, then it must mean the author does as well, particularly in books with only one or very few POV characters. This is particularly problematic when the story is plotted as a series, since the character's views doesn't generally shift as much within one volume. With structures like that, you don't really get to showcase your ability to write convincingly from a contrasting POV (even if you do have characters who hold the complete opposite worldview).
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Dec 6, 2021 01:01
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Leng posted:I would disagree with its inherent presence being problematic at all, especially when you have flawed characters. It is a very real, human thing to know that something is wrong—and then to go on and ignore your conscience to do the wrong thing anyway because your emotions are overruling your executive brain functions for self-control. newts posted:As for the subject matter, I think if Star Trek can tackle it, or even Lucifer can, then it’s not necessarily only appropriate for literature. There seems to be some confusion over my comments and I just want to clear the air. I have no issues with books having this type of content. Any comments regarding length, placement, or genre are related to me trying to come up with an explanation why I think the execution was lacking. In regards to flawed characters, I like reading books where I can root for our protagonist and deuteragonist. I didn't have a rapport with Lucia, so her flawed moment made it even more difficult for me to root for her. DropTheAnvil fucked around with this message at 01:59 on Dec 6, 2021 |
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Dec 6, 2021 01:55
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I’ve got the 2nd-ish draft of my sequel pretty much done. My writing group have been all over it, so it can’t suck too bad  The first 3/4s is a lot more polished than the last 1/4, as is usual for me—I’ve had less time with those sections. If anyone wanted to take a look and add any crits or comments, I’d appreciate it very much. Even if you haven’t read the first one, this sequel should still be accessible to new readers, and if it’s not, I need to know. The Night People: https://docs.google.com/document/d/14qUUZDLKL2HDs-PcJcOJShy-BqhW4X2gp1I5sLUudIw/edit Warnings: minor violence, description of murder victims and corpses, discussion of drug abuse/sex work/domestic violence, implied/discussed past child sexual assault, sex, swearing, my lovely writing My goal is to self-publish this on Amazon (first book is already up). newts fucked around with this message at 01:17 on Jan 17, 2022 |
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Jan 17, 2022 01:07
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