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As Leng knows, I'm not great at feedback/editing, but I did want to chime in and say that I'm thoroughly enjoying reading your work so far. I'll be a bit of a contrarian by saying that I enjoy the slow burn you've got going on, but that's always been my favorite type of detective story. I don't know if it was intentional or not, but this:Leng posted:[*] Lucia and Rush always having a back and forth about the next steps. I know a lot of it is characterization about her uncertainty this being her first case and all, though I think we kind of get it after the first few times I look forward to reading the rest of this book, and to reading the sequel next year!
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Jan 15, 2021 23:40
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I know you don't plan to publish, but I would totally buy this if you ever did! My one burning question is, what was Lucia making? My best guess is a vegetable casserole 
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Feb 3, 2021 00:14
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I loved it and look forward to reading the next one! It'll be interesting to go back and read the whole thing in one sitting, I've intentionally avoided re-reading previous chapters while the writing was ongoing. Well done!
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Feb 7, 2021 21:51
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For what it's worth, I prefer the second cover, largely because it pulls something that was actually in the story itself with the bee. I'm throwing out whatever random crap knocks around in my head at this point, but what about doing a cover where you see the split city, and the nocturnum side all lit up, and the bee has been turned into a constellation? Or is that just dumb? I will eventually get around to going through the complete story, things have just been pure chaos here lately, sorry about that!
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Mar 15, 2021 23:53
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Leng posted:I'd suggest playing to your strengths. The artwork you linked is amazing–what if your cover had more illustrated elements? I think as long as you get the right tone promises across in the cover you'll be ok. Agreed, this is an excellent idea! I don't know where you live or how comfortable you'd feel doing this, but what about wandering around where you live at night taking pictures/sketching/whatever, things that you think capture what you want on the cover, and then just drawing your whole cover based off of that?
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Mar 18, 2021 20:47
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newts posted:Re: italics. I did look through your Nano project and noticed you used them for both regular and magic thoughts. I didn’t have a problem with it. Maybe I should just trust my readers? Because they are smart and know how to read poo poo? Personally, I've got no issue with how you have things set up now, and it's clear to me what's a text and what's telepathy, so if that makes things easier from a publishing/ebook standpoint, I think just go with it. I'll second the sentiment that I'm very glad to see a sequel! It may be short so far, but I'm still finding myself drawn in. As always, I look forward to reading more!
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Mar 29, 2021 01:01
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First, yay new story!!! I should have popped in here to check sooner, I'm very excited, and have loved what I've read so far. To that end, both chapter 2 and 3 link me to the same thing, is that correct? And chapter 4 gives me "Access Denied" and wants me to request access. I've got no problem doing so, just wanted to make sure that was intentional first. It's not the easiest to read (and I'm sure not the easiest to write), but I'm looking forward to getting more of Sam's backstory, he's an interesting character and I'm enjoying seeing him let down his guard with Lucia even though he's still unsure about that all. I swear one of these days I'll actually make comments in the documents
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May 13, 2021 02:16
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newts posted:Only need one hand for that  low hanging fruit, I admit. In all seriousness, I hope your hand heals quickly, not being able to use it sucks!
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Jun 7, 2021 01:59
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poo poo, I should check in on this thread more often. I'm glad you're back and your hand is better! Working on reading through your book 2 draft right now, and I concur with Leng on the cover. I don't know if you're familiar with Leonid Afremov at all, but the style reminds me of his work, just darker, maybe mixed with some Van Gogh. I dig it!
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Sep 7, 2021 04:27
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That's awesome, congratulations! I also wouldn't be so sure nobody will read it, these are exactly the kind of books I (and I'm sure plenty of other people) pick up on a whim because the cover is cool, the blurb is enticing, what have you. I know I look forward to the published version!
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Sep 13, 2021 22:10
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Well I finally finished the book 2 draft, and I'm very disappointed that I can't immediately read the next book! Is book 3 going to start with them going after the Canadians? I love that the villains are Canadians, by the way
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Sep 15, 2021 01:41
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Ahhhh, I was thinking you ended it there because it is such a cliffhanger and then the next book would pick up with them in Canada! Regardless, I loved it and look forward to anything else you happen to write/share.
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Sep 15, 2021 03:47
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That is very cool!! I like the new title too. Will buy a copy as soon as I get a chance!
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Nov 4, 2021 23:26
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newts posted:Oh, hey! Sorry I didn’t see this get updated. You’ve been so helpful and encouraging through this whole process. Let me know if you want me to send you a copy for free, either ebook or paperback. I haven’t seen the paperback yet, so it’s a gamble! There are paper copies!!!! I would be more than happy to purchase a paper copy from you if that's a possibility, I vastly prefer them to ebooks. I appreciate the offer for a free copy, but I'd feel better actually supporting all your time and effort in some small way!
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Nov 16, 2021 20:30
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Sure! You can also reach me at redacted if that's easier
A Small Car fucked around with this message at 03:10 on Nov 17, 2021 |
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Nov 17, 2021 02:52
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| # ¿ May 22, 2024 19:14 |
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Keep posting! It has been an unbelievably busy 5 or 6 months for me (I don't think I've even been in this forum since mid-November), so first, thank you for the book!! I love having paper copies to fill my shelves, and yours has been given a place of honor on the front shelf everyone sees. Second, I will read everything else you've posted, but it will probably take me a while to get to it, sorry!
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Mar 15, 2022 00:35
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