- Prurient Squid
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Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
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Eating an entire nest of klingon bloodbees to impress ensign mcavinger only to discover that it was the trybingian ambassador's brood spawn.
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Jan 7, 2021 11:17
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May 14, 2024 12:46
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- Prurient Squid
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Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
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I know creating a sentient holodeck duplicate of Adolf Hitler was against regulations but how was I supposed to know he'd trick ensign Rudiger into providing him with a portable emiter and escape in a shuttlecraft?
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Jan 8, 2021 13:12
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- Prurient Squid
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Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
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We take a tollerant approach to shapeshifters but transforming into the captain's chair and spinning around really fast when he sits down is conduct unbecoming of an officer.
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Jan 9, 2021 11:53
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- Prurient Squid
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Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
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sold Starfleet a "supercomputer" that is really just a plexiglass box with some blinking lights and scraps of tubing
That's my father! What have you done with him?
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Jan 11, 2021 14:28
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- Prurient Squid
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Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
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you rigged the domjot table... to let the nausicans WIN!?
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Jan 14, 2021 12:08
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- Prurient Squid
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Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
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All I said was that the "bloody cardies can't be trusted" and now i have to take "sensitivity training". #RememberSetlikIII
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Jan 14, 2021 13:02
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- Prurient Squid
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Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
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Helping Comander Data update the firmware on his emotions chip to enable THC functionality while he smokes a fat doobie. So this is the thanks i get for helping a guy out?
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Jan 14, 2021 15:59
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- Prurient Squid
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Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
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Great prank guys! Creating an elaborate Holodeck simulation of me getting discharged from service on "mental health grounds" for "advanced delusional paranoia". I'll give you a whupping as soon as I can figure out how to turn off the program... "computer, END PROGRAM NOW!!!!"
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Jan 14, 2021 17:50
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- Prurient Squid
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Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
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Ever since we hired a non-linear, non-corporeal entity as head of security I've been getting warnings for things I haven't even done yet. So I'm going to jump before I get pushed rather than get pre-arrested for taking part in a future mutiny.
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Jan 15, 2021 14:16
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- Prurient Squid
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Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
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Apparently I caused a diplomatic incident when all I said was that I respect species all have different creeds and customs but that one planet where they have the death penalty for all crimes including walking on the grass is run by a bunch of fascist fuckwits who need to get laid.
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Jan 16, 2021 13:10
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- Prurient Squid
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Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
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I dared ask for an actual explanation of the ranks of Star Fleet, like what is there other than just Captain and Admiral and how does the chain of command really work, and they looked at me like I had just publicly sworn allegiance to Kronos. I swear I met a Major once but everybody says that's prehistoric nonsense???
The woman with the nose ridges? don't tell her i said this but she used to be a terrorist. but keep it on the downlow.
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Jan 16, 2021 18:58
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- Prurient Squid
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Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
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Petted a cat while on a trade delegation to newly discovered planet but it was their emperor??
Give better background briefings next time!
lol
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Jan 16, 2021 19:02
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- Prurient Squid
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Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
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Tried to slingshot round the orbit of a star to impress the ladies and got stuck in the sun! Help!
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Jan 17, 2021 13:44
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May 14, 2024 12:46
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- Prurient Squid
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Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
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i asked "how do i get out of this chicken poo poo outfit?" and i was given UFP Form 24: Application to Transfer to the Civillian Service and i spent the morning filling it out. i get my discharge papers in a couple of weeks. sorry guys i'm not cut out for this, really.
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Jan 17, 2021 13:48
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Jan 7, 2021 11:17
