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The click of your cowboy boot spurs click clack click clack against the soft worn linoleum of the foyer in Pope D's Casino Pinata in downtown Dickert, Alabama. At your side are your trusty wingmen and women, youre all wearing shades and nice button-up shirts and bolo ties. youre not wearing cowboy hates (you say they "gently caress up your 'do" to the receptionist who exchanges your money into plastic chips). The old balls and chains are at home watching the Property Brothers Celebrity House Flip Marathon on HGTV, buying you loads of hours to do what you and the boys or girls like to do--bet money and pride on the timeless game of blackjack. You sidle up to the blackjack table, the fragile skeleton of the white lawn furniture chairs shifting beneath your heft. You love blackjack and so does your whole crew. You notice the dealer is hot and cool and hey, pretty strong too.  This isn't going to be easy, but maybe you'll make it out with some money. Maybe not. It's a gamble, as they say. Now this is where you come in, please post how much you will bet and then u will be dealt cards to play the ancient game of blackjack on the exciting new medium of the internet forum.
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Jan 12, 2021 04:15
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| # ? May 8, 2024 10:50 |
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i max the bet and i double down until i bust
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Jan 12, 2021 04:16
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$69!! take my money!!
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Jan 12, 2021 04:16
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Khanstant posted:i max the bet and i double down until i bust heh, them's the breaks kid. That's why we call it gambling, you played the gam, and I got the bling. I say heh again and rake in your mountain of chips. the house won big this time, baby. Manifisto posted:$69!! take my money!! I eye you up. finally, a formidable foe I say in my head (you don't hear it). I deal you a 3 of spade
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Jan 12, 2021 04:18
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nut posted:heh, them's the breaks kid. That's why we call it gambling, you played the gam, and I got the bling. I say heh again and rake in your mountain of chips. the house won big this time, baby. double down e: baby needs a new pair of shoes!
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Jan 12, 2021 04:18
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Ah, well I don't have money, but I can tell you a funny story, and if you give me more chips I can continue the tale for you.
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Jan 12, 2021 04:19
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i can count pretty fast but i'll slow it down a bit so you can keep up  hit me that's two cards
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Jan 12, 2021 04:21
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Manifisto posted:double down I hid my reflexive shudder and check a small laminated card under the edge of the table to figure out what a double down is. I rest a hand assuredly on your 3, I tap it sideways like a mtg card but don't let it go and eventually put it back. I was just joking haha I know what a double down is. I drawn 143 more cards out of the shuffler until I find another 3 of spades and add that to your first. vanisher posted:Ah, well I don't have money, but I can tell you a funny story, and if you give me more chips I can continue the tale for you. I slide you a small stack of very clean chips. I must know.
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Jan 12, 2021 04:22
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Macnult posted:i can count pretty fast but i'll slow it down a bit so you can keep up It's a slow day at the pinata, so I overlook your complete absence of a bet and deal you two cards, a 5 of diamonds and a happy birthday (mom)
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Jan 12, 2021 04:23
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I place a small bet and begin my tale "Once upon a time there was a blackjack dealer..."
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Jan 12, 2021 04:24
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nut posted:I hid my reflexive shudder and check a small laminated card under the edge of the table to figure out what a double down is. I rest a hand assuredly on your 3, I tap it sideways like a mtg card but don't let it go and eventually put it back. I was just joking haha I know what a double down is. I drawn 143 more cards out of the shuffler until I find another 3 of spades and add that to your first. COUP FOURRÉ MOTHERFUCKER!!
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Jan 12, 2021 04:27
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vanisher posted:I place a small bet and begin my tale I rifle through the loose pile of cards recently discarded and put a 4 of hearts, a 2 of clubs, and a 0 of diamonds in a row and wait for you to laugh. When you don't laugh immediately I kinda move them around to try and make them look like they're dancing
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Jan 12, 2021 04:27
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i will give you all the money in my pocket to play nut
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Jan 12, 2021 04:28
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Manifisto posted:COUP FOURRÉ MOTHERFUCKER!! I am sorry sir i believe the buffet only has kool aid (purple or green), jello (just green), and sirloin sk posted:i will give you all the money in my pocket to play nut I spend a long, concentrated look at your pocket. You're wearing a fishing vest, I don't know which pocket you meant. They all look full though, so I smirk, calling your bluff and planning on making the pinata a lot of money. Deal I deal you a 5 and a 6 and place one trap card in the facedown position.
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Jan 12, 2021 04:31
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nut posted:I am sorry sir i believe the buffet only has kool aid (purple or green), jello (just green), and sirloin i play my counter trap card i guess? i never learned to play pokemon cards. also i'd like another card
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Jan 12, 2021 04:38
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sk posted:i play my counter trap card i guess? i never learned to play pokemon cards. also i'd like another card I smirk, feeling so much better about myself after seeing your public display of ignorance. I look around at all your friends, waiting for one of them to say that trap cards are YuGiOh but none of them do. Despite all of this, your counter trap card has scared me beyond action and I simply deal you an 11 and you get 22 and I say you got 22 too high I win big.
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Jan 12, 2021 04:41
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nut posted:I smirk, feeling so much better about myself after seeing your public display of ignorance. I look around at all your friends, waiting for one of them to say that trap cards are YuGiOh but none of them do. Despite all of this, your counter trap card has scared me beyond action and I simply deal you an 11 and you get 22 and I say you got 22 too high I win big. heh, this pocket only has...aw dang my gem and money collection is in there 
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Jan 12, 2021 04:43
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nut posted:It's a slow day at the pinata, so I overlook your complete absence of a bet and deal you two cards, a 5 of diamonds and a happy birthday (mom) *opens up mom's card* hah, classic mom. i love here so much. there's actually a third card in here
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Jan 12, 2021 04:43
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sk posted:heh, this pocket only has...aw dang my gem and money collection is in there heh them's the sticks kids. That's why it call it a risk, because you risked it all, and I got it afterwards. Macnult posted:*opens up mom's card* what?! I mean, I knew that. Heh. So what is the card in there? I mean i know what it is, but so that everyone else can see it.
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Jan 12, 2021 04:47
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nut posted:what?! I mean, I knew that. Heh. So what is the card in there? I mean i know what it is, but so that everyone else can see it. the card is a- *pulls out a fourth card* hahah mom!!
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Jan 12, 2021 04:51
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I decline the insurance, gently caress you 
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Jan 12, 2021 06:00
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I sidle up to the table, dragging a plastic chair back with a characteristic scrape on the rough bare concrete floor, and settle my narrow frame into its precariously comfortable embrace. Unzipping the top of my rolling luggage cart, I pull out a fancy cardboard box emblazoned with flaming men and women, blue streaks of laser beams akimbo, and gingerly place it on the worn but smooth green felt of the table. Easing the lid off, I pull out about 150 double-sleeved Magic: the Gathering cards and plop my deck onto the table. Not bothering to shuffle, I deal myself seven cards in a hand. Suddenly remembering protocol, I embarassedly yank a handful of casino chips from my cargo shorts pocket and stack then next to my teetering deck: it's about a thousand dollars, if those blue and white chips can be trusted. "You're on the draw," I declare, steely-eyed, to the dealer. "No mulligan."
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Jan 12, 2021 08:05
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let me win
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Jan 12, 2021 08:06
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Nut, I have here for you two million dollars. I don't even care if I win. I just want you to have it. Please buy yourself something nice.
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Jan 12, 2021 08:36
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EorayMel posted:I decline the insurance, gently caress you B-b-but it comes with three years all parts guaranteed. I'm visible sweating, worming a hand under the desk counter and mashing the red security button. After 2 minutes of silence and no one coming, I give you my card.  Leperflesh posted:I sidle up to the table, dragging a plastic chair back with a characteristic scrape on the rough bare concrete floor, and settle my narrow frame into its precariously comfortable embrace. Unzipping the top of my rolling luggage cart, I pull out a fancy cardboard box emblazoned with flaming men and women, blue streaks of laser beams akimbo, and gingerly place it on the worn but smooth green felt of the table. Easing the lid off, I pull out about 150 double-sleeved Magic: the Gathering cards and plop my deck onto the table. I gulp audibly, inhaling deeply through my nose in hopes of regaining my composure. I knew that if I worked here at Pinata's long enough you came. I shift my glance from your fanned hand of cards to your plastic shell suitcase, knowing that somewhere deep inside, likely in a netted pocket, my grandpa's soul still begs for its eternal freedom. I draw seven cards of my own, carefully sleeving each into my favourite set of DNAngel themed plastic sleeves as I remove them from the casino hopper. Each time I fumble one I scream "don't look" before scooping it back up. Drawn seven cards, I mutter, "Mulligan". I unsleeve all seven into the trash and repeat the process four more times. The two last draw cards sit each in a sleeve, the rest of the plastic sleeves noisily crammed back into my vest pocket. I put on my von dutch trucker hat normal way. Then I spin it to be backwards. I see my boss in the background and remove it. I play my first card, a 8 of red. runod posted:let me win You drive a hard bargain, but if my night classes at Trillium College have taught me anything it's that the customer is always right. I slide over two uneven handfuls of chips and ring a small winner bell I brought from home just thought it'd be a fun idea. How Wonderful! posted:Nut, I have here for you two million dollars. I don't even care if I win. I just want you to have it. Please buy yourself something nice. I look at the mound of chips, the table has disappeared somewhere beneath it. I wonder how many chips it would take to buy an Oculus rift or maybe the valve headset whatever it's called. returning to the moment, I blush at my greed and regain my professionalism, dealing you a 20 and a 1. I openly cry on my way to the chip vault and back with a wheelbarrow of chips. Very rusty. You can smell the wheelbarrow.
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Jan 12, 2021 13:09
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nut posted:I gulp audibly, inhaling deeply through my nose in hopes of regaining my composure. I knew that if I worked here at Pinata's long enough you came. I shift my glance from your fanned hand of cards to your plastic shell suitcase, knowing that somewhere deep inside, likely in a netted pocket, my grandpa's soul still begs for its eternal freedom. I'm visibly struggling with the concept of "poker face," trying not to let the dealer see that I'm taken aback by their heavy-mulligan strategy. Has this guy got a turn-two wincon in his deck he's been fishing for? poo poo! The wait imposed by the need to wheelbarrow a couple mil in chips to the back room gives me time to regain my composure. I slide on my best pair of Ray-Bans, take a third peek at my hole cards, and then flip over a Basic Swamp. I turn it sideways, and play a serrated scorpion. If this guy is mono-red with heavy removal I'm hosed I'm thinking, behind my shades. A single drop of sweat slowly makes its way down my temple.
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Jan 12, 2021 21:08
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I take a seat and start rifling through the card shoe
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Jan 12, 2021 21:38
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I sit down at the 6th seat at the table and ask a passing waitress for a light beer and a plate of dried squid. I eat and drink and then start burping every 30 seconds and every time I do, I blow it into your face. I light up a cigarette and every time I take a drag I blow smoke out the side of my mouth into the air. You're starting to wonder if I'm reserving my squid burps specifically so that I can blow them into your face. What do u do?
AHH F/UGH fucked around with this message at 03:49 on Jan 13, 2021 |
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Jan 13, 2021 03:47
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I sit at the table, carefully place down half the minimum bet, and stare at you intently
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Jan 13, 2021 05:44
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Deal me in, boss.
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Jan 13, 2021 06:04
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i do not play, but simply watch all the blackjack players intently and darkly from a dark corner of the blackjack ring. 
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Jan 13, 2021 06:41
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No thanks, slots please!!
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Jan 13, 2021 09:22
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Leperflesh posted:I'm visibly struggling with the concept of "poker face," trying not to let the dealer see that I'm taken aback by their heavy-mulligan strategy. Has this guy got a turn-two wincon in his deck he's been fishing for? poo poo! I raise quietly to my tippy toes, maneuvering my head into the small imperfect divot on the top of the pile of chips spilled onto the felt between us, trying to get a read on you. drat, he's wearing sunglasses I say aloud. I ask you what you played because I can't really tell what's going over there. I smirk, chuckling deeply. He has no idea. I would never kill a scorpion. Perhaps this is the exact ploy my grandfather fell for. Fear of insects. I gingerly trace the corner of the set trap card I had laid down for another player. Flipping it over on the felt, I loudly announce that I play monster reborn, bringing a blue eyes white dragon onto the playing field amongst the chips. I bathe in the gasps and applause from the other players. Tetramin posted:I take a seat and start rifling through the card shoe I cringe at the small crumbs of dirt fallings from the vulcanized rubber sole onto the pristine felt. I can't decide if I'm more disgusted at the filthy shoe being placed on the table or how you managed to crease and fold so many cards to fit inside its foothole. I deal you two 4s and a 6. AHH F/UGH posted:I sit down at the 6th seat at the table and ask a passing waitress for a light beer and a plate of dried squid. I eat and drink and then start burping every 30 seconds and every time I do, I blow it into your face. I light up a cigarette and every time I take a drag I blow smoke out the side of my mouth into the air. You're starting to wonder if I'm reserving my squid burps specifically so that I can blow them into your face. What do u do? Unable to stifle the visceral reaction to the heavily processed (both machine and mouth) gusts of squid, I rattle in convulsions after each exhale that comes my way. The repeated exposures wear down my demeanour. I watch your offhand breaths of cigarette smoke, longing for the overwhelming stench of burnt tobacco instead of the life I now live regulated under the proverbial olfactory sea. I drag all the cards and move to the 7th seat beside you and awkwardly throw cards laterally to the players while dealing. Here, I let the cigarette fumigate the worse of the sealife from the holes in my head, cleansed pure by cancerous smoke. Symbolically, I feel like Ariel, freed from a life in the ocean and given her own two legs. Akbar posted:I sit at the table, carefully place down half the minimum bet, and stare at you intently I nod thoughtfully. Below the counter, I carefully rip and tear at your two cards, the extracted middle sections of each to you. Your first card is a spade of at least 3 but maybe more. The second card is steps 3-4 of the instructional card teaching you how to play Bridge. rear end-penny posted:Deal me in, boss. I accept your bet and begin explaining the Plan to you. You'll be our point in the vents, carefully snaking along the duct system while myself, dressed up like a blackjack dealer, will remain live on the floor. When you find the vault access, I will start hollering BIG WINNER BIG WINNER and spilling chips over all the players. At this time, you will snap the final grate and access the vault. Once inside, you will collect 10-20 dollars in nonsequential bills and return to the rendevous point in the parking lot. from there, we will divide the loot and go our separate ways. I say that I'm going to miss you and deal you a king of hearts. Cavauro posted:i do not play, but simply watch all the blackjack players intently and darkly from a dark corner of the blackjack ring. I can't shake the feeling I'm being watched. Oh wait I am. I can't concentrate, the penetrating gaze glinting in the shadows making me second-guess each deal. when I deal a player a 19 I look at you as if I'm not sure if I did okay or not. Tippecanoe posted:No thanks, slots please!! I sigh deeply and lean forward offering my posed arm as a lever and the giant gap between my front teeth to you, the customer who is always right.
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Jan 13, 2021 13:13
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I stand on a soft 17 because the dealer and I are both in the casino and therefore subject to the same rules
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Jan 13, 2021 15:42
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Jim Silly-Balls posted:I stand on a soft 17 because the dealer and I are both in the casino and therefore subject to the same rules I grimace at your soft 17, watching its gentle jiggling in the gleam of overhead fluorescent listing to otherwise imperceptible vibrations inherent to the building structure. In desperation, I offer your your bet doubled in return if you will leave and take your jiggly cards with you.
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Jan 13, 2021 16:03
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nut posted:I nod thoughtfully. Below the counter, I carefully rip and tear at your two cards, the extracted middle sections of each to you. Your first card is a spade of at least 3 but maybe more. The second card is steps 3-4 of the instructional card teaching you how to play Bridge. I lean back in my seat, fold my arms, and glare at the cards pensively. Eventually I fall asleep with my eyes open.
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Jan 13, 2021 18:39
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Akbar posted:I lean back in my seat, fold my arms, and glare at the cards pensively. Eventually I fall asleep with my eyes open. Your silence is deafening. Jaw locked, softening only to give way to an audible gulp, I lurch forward inch by inch, waiting for your response. In that moment, I realize that for you, right here and now, I will wait for forever.
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Jan 13, 2021 19:12
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nut posted:I raise quietly to my tippy toes, maneuvering my head into the small imperfect divot on the top of the pile of chips spilled onto the felt between us, trying to get a read on you. drat, he's wearing sunglasses I say aloud. My jaw drops (causing a minor avalanche to slide haltingly down the steep slope of the Matterhorn of chips currently propped against my immobile head). What's this? Monster Reborn, this table's decks are seeded with Yu-Gi-Oh, I'm in way over my head. The mulligans-down-to-two, the tutoring for a blue-eyes white dragon, my cheap little scorpion is not going to hold up. And by their hootin' and hollerin', the folks leering from the rail know it too. Stalling for time, I shuffle my hand, as though this dark ritual could somehow reveal a card I hadn't noticed before, some killer combo to save my bacon. But no. I drop a mountain to the felt, toss my remaining hand over my shoulder into the crowd, and choking back the lump in my throat, I croak hoarsly, "hit me."
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Jan 13, 2021 22:00
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I wanna play War.
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Jan 13, 2021 23:19
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| # ? May 8, 2024 10:50 |
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Leperflesh posted:My jaw drops (causing a minor avalanche to slide haltingly down the steep slope of the Matterhorn of chips currently propped against my immobile head). What's this? Monster Reborn, this table's decks are seeded with Yu-Gi-Oh, I'm in way over my head. The mulligans-down-to-two, the tutoring for a blue-eyes white dragon, my cheap little scorpion is not going to hold up. And by their hootin' and hollerin', the folks leering from the rail know it too. An anime glint in my eye. I know I've got you. Opa hold on, just a little longer. I deal you a perfect 21 of diamonds. My heart sinks. Edward Mass posted:I wanna play War. I refuse to deal as a form of economic sanctions.
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Jan 13, 2021 23:36
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