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You guys seen these shrimps? This ain’t no 31-40 poo poo. It’s like some 1-5 poo poo. Big fuccin shrimps. Post your best shrimps. 
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Jan 15, 2021 22:28
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Minutemen be snatchin these shrimps before anybody can even fricassee them. poo poo is so hype r/n. 
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Jan 15, 2021 22:36
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TheAardvark posted:I ordered some of these fried shrimp Mandoo from a new place the other week and they were so good they got me on a hardcore shrimp kick. I love shrimp Oooooooo do they have wine by the glass? 
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Jan 16, 2021 01:04
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DarkSoulsTantrum posted:Jumbo shrimp Where? 
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Jan 16, 2021 01:16
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DarkSoulsTantrum posted:What if you put a little burger in a shrimp? God that must be the worlds smallest hamburger. 
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Jan 16, 2021 01:18
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It would admittedly be p cool if the afterbirth was just a bunch of little popcorn shrimp. 
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Jan 16, 2021 01:24
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Wow you know what? I’m so stupid I didn’t even fuggin know that pal!
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Jan 16, 2021 01:38
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Oh, wait.. these are lobsters guys. Srry.  
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Jan 16, 2021 08:45
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Guys guys, these are actually lobsters. Sort of embarrassing yeah? I ran into a seaman and he confirmed this for me.
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Jan 16, 2021 14:59
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I’m afraid I have even worse news guys. I was actually just boiling my shoes the whole time. The Seaman wasn’t actually a Seaman. He just works at a seafood restaurant. My question is, why would he be so cruel to me? 
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Jan 17, 2021 08:39
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DarkSoulsTantrum posted:Haha you got some tiny rear end feet bro, mistaking them shoes for shramps. It was an honest mistake brosephone. I tried to Wikipedia that poo poo but it turns out I mistook a cheese grater for a keyboard and I couldn’t figure out why my monitor kept displaying and ad for Cap’n Crunch. I tried turning the monitor around and at least I got some nutritional information about the shrimps. Turns out they are packed with sugar, very unhealthy. I’m kind of glad I ate my shoes tbh.
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Jan 17, 2021 15:14
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Nefarious 2.0 posted:can you post a bigger picture i can barely see that The bigger picture here is that this was never really about shrimps, but boiling you’re shoes and eating them.
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Jan 17, 2021 20:52
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Ball Tazeman posted:I don't know how to cook shrimp so I just buy pre-cooked shrimp and boil them for 20 minutes, is this correct? They taste dry and like poo poo so I don't think it is. You got them knockoff Jordans and the cheap glue is getting you high hth. 
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Jan 17, 2021 23:05
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An exhibit at the Shrimpsonian Museum. 
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Jan 17, 2021 23:06
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Big Beef City posted:Got those shoes on a shrimpulse buy, sounds like I did get them at a seafood street market come to think of it.
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Jan 17, 2021 23:50
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DarkSoulsTantrum posted:How’s this for a hot take: Ugh god I know taking the laces out suuuuucks. 
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Jan 18, 2021 04:37
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How many shrimps you think it would take to fill abe Lincoln’s hat?
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Jan 18, 2021 10:57
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So I was at the seafood restaurant today, and I was having my typical shrimp cocktail on ice, bowl of cereal, and mimosa, and I started having another chat with the seaman  . He kept talking about this frog with lips. I asked him, human lips? Or did this little froggy happen upon some wax lips and thought it’d be funny to put them on? He just gave me a knowing glance and topped off my mimosa. What the hell was that supposed to mean? I was still hungry for more shrimps so I went to the street market for some shrimps, and I ended up buying more shoes to replace the ones i boiled. I’m gonna get to the bottom of this, even if it means Monday brunch. 
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Jan 19, 2021 02:40
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Jan 19, 2021 16:56
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Big Beef City posted:Abe lincoln was only 2'7" tall in modern measurements, which was considered giant in his day, but in that time giant animals still roamed the earth so probably only like half a shrimps I wanna build a time machine and poo poo in that shrimps hat. 
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Jan 19, 2021 23:31
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Good news and good news guys. I told the shoe salesman of my misfortune and he filled my new shoes with shrimps. I am going to sous vide these delicious shrimps in these jordans and eat brunch at the frog leg cafe to avoid that misleading seaman.
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Jan 19, 2021 23:40
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It’s people like you who give people like me all you can eat shrimp buffets. I tried to go it alone and now I’m on my 3rd pair of jordans. 
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Jan 20, 2021 03:04
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TheAardvark posted:I would like an all u can eat shrimp buffet tjanks No. 
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Jan 20, 2021 03:39
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I do have a couple of pairs of loafers I hardly ever wear. Let me get some water on the burner and see if I can’t quench your thirst for shrimps.
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Jan 20, 2021 03:43
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Oysters schmoysters stay focused, stay in shrimp mode. 
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Jan 21, 2021 04:16
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Derpies posted:DST Table seven just ordered fifteen shrimp boiler bags, why are ya posting get back to deveining shrimp boy! Yes the most allergic amongst us must hold the line! 
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Jan 21, 2021 05:25
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So my second favorite seafood restaurant was closed for the day and the market was rained out, so I went to the horse tracks because i knew they had shrimp cocktail. I ordered one and bid 5 bucks on a horse, Thistle Plops. I went down to the stables to see the horse I had bet on. They stopped me when I tried to offer him some of my shrimp cocktail. They said it would give him diarrhea. Same for his jockey. Prick. I watched the horses run around and around while my eyes rolled back from those thick, juicy shrimps. Thistle got last place. I must have spooked him with the shrimps. I was going to use my winnings to buy more shrimps. Better luck next time. I’m going to drive around and see if I can find an after hours shrimp joint in this cool, neon lit city. I am running out of shoes, but I have the city tonight. 
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Jan 21, 2021 18:43
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Big Beef City posted:They should make ShrimpAide it's a hydrating sports drink with the refreshing crisp taste of SHRAMP that everyone loves to guzzle! They have to have this is japan, they have everything else in every possible combination.
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Jan 23, 2021 06:00
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Zombiepop posted:Gotta be Giant shrimp flavoured condoms, otherwise they wont sell. Honestly if we’re doin flavored condoms here I think trout would be a better flavor. Not being sanctimonious here just open minded. Hell I get a box of edible panties every week so I don’t have to wash underwear. Ive never really thought of mixing shrimp and sex I guess, eating shrimp to me is like the full experience. It’s not something I necessarily want to bring into the bedroom, I think if a woman saw me eating shrimp she might get jealous, and honestly if shrimp are in the mix she might just have to sit there and play gamegear until I’m finished eating the shrimps. And I even then I’d keep my boots on, ready to go to the market at any time. Like just pull out at any time and leave her quivering in agony until I come back with more shrimps.
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Jan 23, 2021 22:28
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Those thick, juicy shrimps. 
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Jan 27, 2021 04:24
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So I got these fried shrimps from a food truck by the docks. This is the way to do shrimps guys, whhhuuooooweeey. I was munching and walking and I walked right on to a shrimp boat and acted like I knew exactly what the gently caress I was doing and suited up in a rain slicker. “Hi bill, hi bob” etc. I surprisingly got everyone’s name right. We sailed out to the high seas and while they were fishin for those shrimps I went for a swim of the starboard, aftish side. Butt naked, and I mean BUTT naked. I stuck my head down in the water to look for some shrimps, and all of a sudden (bad news guys) I got harpooned. It wasn’t even a good shot, it took a chunk out of my bicep. With my best muscle on malfunction these guys had to pull me in in a big fishing net. “Catch or the day huh fellas?” I said and winked extra hard. Nobody laughed. They got the harpoon out of my bicep. Then they said they thought I was a porpoise. Gotta take it easy on these shrimps. I said to them “I know you guys didn’t do it on porpoise”. They says to me “look pal, well give you free shrimps if you just stop telling jokes”. No problem sucker, I was out of jokes anyways. So now I get all these free shrimps but got no shoes to cook them in. I gotta talk to my friend at the fake sushi grass factory (the sushi grass is fake not the factory btw).
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Jan 28, 2021 07:58
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I thought I’d try this shrimp joint on the east side of town. “East side beast side” is what they say. Waiter comes over and says “would you like to try our shrimp”? So I says to him “no you loving idiot, why would I order just one shrimp?” He went to get his manager, like somebody who can count. “How many shrimp would you like sir?”. This guy makes even less sense. Smartass. I stuffed a 20 in his shirt pocket and stuffed some bread rolls in my coat pockets and took my glass of water out into the street. I was going to find a restaurant where people know how to count.
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Feb 9, 2021 11:50
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DarkSoulsTantrum posted:I should probably get a different job Gonna get into the shoe game huh?
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Feb 9, 2021 20:07
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Ugh so I was posting about shrimps on an internet bulletin board (friend at the fake sushi grass factory gave me an AOL cdrom), and I start talkin to this guy who says he knows a different way to cook up some juicy shrimps. Now if you ask me science is bullshit, but this guy had some really down to earth opinions, plus I made him count to 10 on webcam so I knew he wasn’t a noodle brain. Booked my flight and I shows up at his weird elf townhouse or whatever.. and guess what this guy asks me? “Did you bring the derby?” Did I bring the derby, the derby, the loving derby.. “You didn’t say nothin about a derby” and he says “I did right at the end of the counting video”. poo poo, I had packed my bags and was out the door after “10”. So we go out chummin around Germany like the best of pals, lookin to buy a derby off someone, anyone. Finally we find this guy with a derby, he’s not like the roundest dowel in the cabin etc, and we buy his derby off him. He says some poo poo in german which was loving rude but whatever. So finally we’re ready to get some shrimps on the stove, and this guy shows me his technique. He SALTS THE BRIM OF THE HAT. Genius, loving genius. I asked for a napkin because my mouth was watering so hard. He fills this derby to the brim with shrimps and 2 hours later we got mouth watering juicy shrimps, and we throw them back all night with our eyes rolling back in our heads and our feet stomping on the floor, sounds of wet chewing and moans till the sun comes up. As I’m leaving I says to him, “hey sorry about Hitler, I know that poo poo must have been a real bummer for you guys”. He had a mixed look on his face and he said something in German. You could tell he was angry and really hated hitler too. “Donkeyshine to you” I says as I bid him farewell, showing off my flare for culture. You can tell he noticed. What a good trip, whistled all the way to the airport.
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Mar 24, 2021 22:49
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Big Beef City posted:post pics of u succulently gnoshing those shrimplettes We took some stills but they were blurred from sucking down those shrimps so fast.
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Mar 24, 2021 23:15
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You guys, just as a side note here, I picked up a really cool book in the airplane bookstore. It’s called “Soulmate, Checkmate” by Dick Bonner. I recommend giving it a read. It’s Dick Bonners first Novel but I see him writing many, many more. It’s so juicy I keep it in a plastic bag when I’m not reading it. It’s not shrimps but it’s like shrimps to me. (metaphor)
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Mar 25, 2021 16:00
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DarkSoulsTantrum posted:I would like to know more about author Dick Bonner He is very, very hard to get to know. Very hard.
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Mar 25, 2021 18:18
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numberoneposter posted:do you mean to tell me that shrimp fried this rice? Well it wasn’t Dick Bonner!
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Mar 25, 2021 18:22
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DarkSoulsTantrum posted:He sounds like a real stand-up guy I saw him at a book signing and yes, he does stand very tall and erect, and has a very, very firm and penetrating handshake, most definitely. 
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Mar 25, 2021 18:27
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Bula Vinaka posted:cinnamon toast Ok but it’s not brunch without some shrimps fella. 
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Mar 25, 2021 19:00
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