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Butterfly Valley
Apr 19, 2007

I am a spectacularly bad poster and everyone in the Schadenfreude thread hates my guts.


As seen in the waffleimages GBS thread, presumably for posting itf a decade sgo

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Jose
Jul 24, 2007

Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer
mancini losing the dressing room at City because immediately after a match he'd use a hairdryer to make his hair perfect for post match press duties before he'd even spoken to the players

vyelkin
Jan 2, 2011
Yaya Toure falling out with City's owners because his "birthday cake" wasn't big enough and his agent had this to say about it:

quote:

The agent also claimed Toure was unhappy in March 2013, shortly before he signed a new four-year contract, but insisted this latest row is about "respect", not money.

"He got a cake but when it was Roberto Carlos's birthday, the president of Anzhi gave him a Bugatti," Seluk added.

"I don't expect City to present Yaya with a Bugatti, we only asked that they shook his hand and said 'we congratulate you'. It is the minimum they must do when it is his birthday and the squad is all together.

"I hear one newspaper has written that City congratulated him from Twitter but this is a joke. It is better they don't put anything on Twitter if they are not saying anything to him.

"The club's owners ate a 100kg cake after winning the Premier League this season but when they and the players were all together, none of them shook his hand on his birthday. It shows they don't care about him.

"Of course Yaya is upset about this. If this happened to you as a journalist in the BBC and nobody shakes your hand, you will say bye-bye and go to work for somebody else. It is normal."

jesus WEP
Oct 17, 2004


good old dogshit 🥲

Her Dryer
Oct 15, 2012
Kirk Broadfoot getting hospitalised because he microwaved an egg and it exploded in his face

kri kri
Jul 18, 2007

Ashley Cole almost crashing his car after finding out the arse lowballed him

Jose
Jul 24, 2007

Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QvMPXwqTMto

Weaponized Cum
Aug 31, 2004


This post brought to you by the finest Miami cocaine money can buy ----->
Cashley Cole

sticksy
May 26, 2004
Nap Ghost
David Moyes showing Nemanja Vidic tapes on Phil Jagielka so he could improve how he defended

Jose
Jul 24, 2007

Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gd28Zq8y25g

King of False Promises
Jul 31, 2000



a true hero

Bumhead
Sep 26, 2022

This interview where Josh Windass fails to wrap his head around eggs

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=taVFlkO4lv8

Butterfly Valley
Apr 19, 2007

I am a spectacularly bad poster and everyone in the Schadenfreude thread hates my guts.
Every single club trying to create a slick social media marketing machine runs into the same problem: nearly every single footballer is thick as mince and about as interesting. I tried to watch the hot ones with Harry Kane and made it about 30 seconds.

Bogan Krkic
Oct 31, 2010

Swedish style? No.
Yugoslavian style? Of course not.
It has to be Zlatan-style.

https://youtu.be/lWLnQYvU6zA?feature=shared

https://youtu.be/e75rmX2Scv4?si=la9qcoTtYYPHO7-t

Daft Jack is great for making footballers look smart

harperdc
Jul 24, 2007

kri kri posted:

Yaya Sonogo

Nicklas Bendtner

webmeister
Jan 31, 2007

The answer is, mate, because I want to do you slowly. There has to be a bit of sport in this for all of us. In the psychological battle stakes, we are stripped down and ready to go. I want to see those ashen-faced performances; I want more of them. I want to be encouraged. I want to see you squirm.

harperdc posted:

Nicklas Bendtner

The self-perceived confidence test where Bendtner scored 11/10

jesus WEP
Oct 17, 2004


cardiff changing their kit from blue to red for a couple of years because marketing ?????

Dell_Zincht
Nov 5, 2003



jesus WEP posted:

cardiff changing their kit from blue to red for a couple of years because marketing ?????

It's even funnier than that, it was because Red is Vincent Tan's "lucky colour"

Her Dryer
Oct 15, 2012
Footballers being thick, you say

vyelkin
Jan 2, 2011

I love both of these and also the story about how he got scared riding a camel in Qatar because he was too high off the ground

Shroud
May 11, 2009
"Wayne Hennessey is ‘desperate’ to learn about the Nazis, says Roy Hodgson"

-The Guardian

Jose
Jul 24, 2007

Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

jesus WEP posted:

cardiff changing their kit from blue to red for a couple of years because marketing ?????

not funny but this reminded me of when malky mackay got sacked by cardiff and nobody understood why until it turned out he'd just been massively racist constantly on his work email

the sex ghost
Sep 6, 2009

Jose posted:

not funny but this reminded me of when malky mackay got sacked by cardiff and nobody understood why until it turned out he'd just been massively racist constantly on his work email

'a gay snake' and 'i'd love a bounce on her falsies' will stick in my head forever

Mickolution
Oct 1, 2005

Ballers...I put numbers on the boards

Jose posted:

not funny but this reminded me of when malky mackay got sacked by cardiff and nobody understood why until it turned out he'd just been massively racist constantly on his work email

It was a bit funny. "Bounce on her falsies" pops into my head sometimes. Who talks like that?

jesus WEP
Oct 17, 2004


Jose posted:

not funny but this reminded me of when malky mackay got sacked by cardiff and nobody understood why until it turned out he'd just been massively racist constantly on his work email
dave whelan appointing malky a while later and defending it “he apologised for all of the stuff he said and anyway he was right, jews do love money”

e: i will also remember “a bounce on her falsies” until the day i die lmao

Shrapnig
Jan 21, 2005

Jose posted:

not funny but this reminded me of when malky mackay got sacked by cardiff and nobody understood why until it turned out he'd just been massively racist constantly on his work email

You live by the #banterzone you die by the #banterzone

nawilo_420
Nov 24, 2021
:redflag:
Cardiff, who sacked Mackay in December, have sent a dossier to the Football Association with details of the allegations, according to the Daily Mail. Below are some of the texts allegedly sent:

'Fkn chinkys. Fk it. There's enough dogs in Cardiff for us all to go around.'

On the arrival of South Korean international Kim Bo-Kyung

'Go on, fat Phil. Nothing like a Jew that sees money slipping through his fingers'

On football agent Phil Smith

'He's a snake, a gay snake. Not to be trusted'

On an official of another club

'Not many white faces amongst that lot but worth considering.'

On a list of potential signings

'I hope she's looking after your needs. I bet you'd love a bounce on her falsies.'

On a player's female agent

A picture entitled Black Monopoly (where every square was a "Go to Jail" square)

Sent to members of Cardiff's staff

Her Dryer
Oct 15, 2012
Lmao at "sent to member's of Cardiff's staff" without any other context, just some impromptu racism

Mickolution
Oct 1, 2005

Ballers...I put numbers on the boards

the sex ghost posted:

'a gay snake' and 'i'd love a bounce on her falsies' will stick in my head forever

jesus WEP posted:

e: i will also remember “a bounce on her falsies” until the day i die lmao

I'm glad it's not just me.

Literally Lewis Hamilton
Feb 22, 2005



nawilo_420 posted:

A picture entitled Black Monopoly (where every square was a "Go to Jail" square)

Sent to members of Cardiff's staff

:staredog:

Jose
Jul 24, 2007

Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer
Ok I'd forgotten some of that it is funny

Bogan Krkic
Oct 31, 2010

Swedish style? No.
Yugoslavian style? Of course not.
It has to be Zlatan-style.

The Leicester squad rimming some Thai prostitutes together and then winning the title

trem_two
Oct 22, 2002

it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals
Fun Shoe

Bogan Krkic posted:

The Leicester squad rimming some Thai prostitutes together and then winning the title

Not exactly correct

the sex ghost
Sep 6, 2009

Bogan Krkic posted:

The Leicester squad rimming some Thai prostitutes together and then winning the title

Ranieri getting fired by Greece for losing to the Faroe Islands and walking straight into winning the league

tristeham
Jul 31, 2022


Shroud posted:

"Wayne Hennessey is ‘desperate’ to learn about the Nazis, says Roy Hodgson"

-The Guardian

tristeham
Jul 31, 2022


nawilo_420 posted:

'I hope she's looking after your needs. I bet you'd love a bounce on her falsies.'

On a player's female agent

A picture entitled Black Monopoly (where every square was a "Go to Jail" square)

Sent to members of Cardiff's staff

wtf

Shrapnig
Jan 21, 2005

You were still allowed to talk about big fat tits in 2013.

jesus WEP
Oct 17, 2004


these days you can’t even enjoy a bounce on her falsies, because of Woke 😔

Butterfly Valley
Apr 19, 2007

I am a spectacularly bad poster and everyone in the Schadenfreude thread hates my guts.

Bogan Krkic posted:

The Leicester squad rimming some Thai prostitutes together and then winning the title

The catalyst for Leicester hiring their title winning manager being their (Thai) owner firing the previous one after his son filmed himself racially abusing the Thai prostitute he was paying to rim him, is the true, much funnier and also more ridiculous version of the story

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vyelkin
Jan 2, 2011
fondly remembering that one TRP post that said it might be the first time a season ever began and ended with "kiss the rings"

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