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My company had a meeting with over 200 people worldwide that was scheduled at about 11pm my local time. I dialed in and they wanted everyones faces blah blah. Anyway the first guy starts speaking and announces hes being promoted and moved off the account and thanking everyone for their hard work to make it possible for him. I hung up and have not joined a single internal call for that teak again and nobody has said anything.
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Jan 31, 2021 02:06
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Aardvark! posted:my company got bought last year. just got informed that the new CEO (a billionaire/owner of the company) gets every single employee's yearly goals emailed to him and regularly reads them and responds to them Assuming he spends 10 minutes on each one so he can do 6 an hour thats over 3,300 working hours a year. That dude is lucky there is no board and he's the owner because they would fire him instantly. Yes I am aware he does not actually read them, its an irritating power move to waist subordinates time and make everyone unhappy
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Feb 3, 2021 11:24
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20,000 employees. that's not insane at all
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Boiled Water posted:Pros dosconnect the microphone on their own end before denigrating their terrible bosses Yep. Can't hear me against my will.
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Feb 4, 2021 02:55
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Prism Mirror Lens posted:Doesn’t Netflix do the “fire the bottom x%” thing? Or they used to? Microsoft infamously did it for years.
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Feb 5, 2021 10:14
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The second you set an individual level KPI for performance for keeping their job you distort you employees incentives so hard you could travel through time with them. Tickets closed? Never opening a ticket that seems hard so actual customer issues rot New Leads? Who gives a poo poo about selling things, book those new meetings and burn out any interest in the company Customer Satisfaction? Only send reviews to clients who will give a max score/bribe customers for good score
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Feb 6, 2021 03:06
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My job requires me to enter a bunch of numbers into a system to audit the spend. The client decided they want to audit the numbers themselves so I have to load the numbers into a second different system. The second system uses different rules and tracks things slightly differently so if you were to pull up reports from each side by side they wouldn't match and each one would have different numbers and metrics than the other. The solution to this was to create a third report.
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Feb 10, 2021 04:46
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Rockman Reserve posted:sweet lord are you me If you had to call someone half-way across the globe to verify what were supposed to be reporting about two weeks ago and they still haven't answered and you're wondering if they died, yes.
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Feb 10, 2021 05:29
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I was assigned to review data in a system. It is input by another entire company and reviewed directly by the regional office. You may think, thats silly why are two people reviewing the data? Well I can't see the data because Ive never been given a login to the system so I just verify that I got an email saying the data is in the system.
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Feb 13, 2021 12:03
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I put in my notice and HR hasn't got back to me. They also think Im going to give them more than the legally required amount so laffo.
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Feb 15, 2021 04:47
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Zarin posted:"Legally required"? I'm guessing you're not in the US . . . Im not in the US, because if it was I'd be done right now. Luckily not the UK where your employer can make you sign a 6 month notice period contract and hold you to it as happened to a coworker
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Feb 15, 2021 04:56
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Volmarias posted:I cannot express how hard and how far my eyes would be rolling if anyone at work complained that I didn't use a proper salutation in an email. One of my jobs first day I got a talking to for sending an email which the first sentence didn't start with an exclamation point. I was then give a two page document outlining proper emoji usage and resources for dad-level humor to include in your emails.
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Feb 15, 2021 15:14
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I got an award for most positive emailer for 250 bucks later that year because all my emails were garbage like to a golf client "Sounds great and we're eager to get into the swing of things! You've teed up a big problem but with [company] we'll get you on the green under par. Let me get back to you in two weeks and we'd be happy to give you a birdie's eye view of how we can help your business cut through the competitive landscape without a single slice in sight!" I kept taking it further and further and never stopped, from the pot clients to the condom people and they all loved it and I hated myself by the end.
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Feb 15, 2021 15:26
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Xaintrailles posted:Someone was reading every email from your company, scoring them for positivity, and adding it all up?? No, they asked for internal and client feedback and I won. Winning the award was a serious part of my motivation to quit
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Feb 15, 2021 15:51
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Prism Mirror Lens posted:When all the open source projects started having codes of conduct, one of them (which was frequently shared by people with good intentions) had a section on how you shouldn’t use emojis in code reviews in case someone takes them the wrong way. In both these cases I’m just left wondering, what kind of situation must have happened in the past for them to NEED emoji rules?! Oh no, I think you misunderstand. This was mandatory usage situations for emoji
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Feb 15, 2021 16:37
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I'll always remember fondly the client who would mix painkillers and alcohol in public and be so deeply hosed up she couldn't remember what she authorized. We'd double submit things at two different times and if she didn't notice and signed it anyway we knew she was so hosed up she wouldn't remember and once sober would accuse us of tricking her. She left her employer by stealing their design documents and making competeing knockoffs with her husbands business.
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Feb 16, 2021 02:28
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Laffo the company Im quitting in large part because they gave me a leading regional role then refused to pay me more or give me a title upgrade because that was negotiated with the previous CEO not the new one just said they were a) blindsided by my leaving and b) were dissapointed it came only a day before their new "grand vision" for the department could be unveiled. Said new vision did not include any promotions or pay raises for me.
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Feb 16, 2021 06:07
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Counteroffers are an attempt to waste your time so the offer you have on hand expires.
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Feb 16, 2021 14:17
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Prism Mirror Lens posted:Do you ever go on LinkedIn and see some dumbass you worked with in the past, only now their title is “Senior Lead Enterprise Architect of BigCo, working on the project SuperImportantInfrastructure” All the time except I got into my industry because nobody dies if I gently caress things up so its more like "hooooboy good luck with that poo poo". Related: My first boss would lock herself in her office somedays just to cry for a solid 8 hours then go home. The rest of the time she alternate from raw fury and "unexpectedly serene" and Im not sure I ever saw her like, complete a project. A coworker quit because they were underpaid and working with her was hellacious. Said coworkers new company mentions their looking to hire her and coworker is like "please don't she is horrible to work with and whatever sanity she can string through an interview is a facade." So of course they ignore this input and hire her. Sure enough, within like two weeks shes already spent multiple days openly weeping at the office since she no longer has a private office and one screaming bloody murder at the parking lot attendant. By the time they get her on a PiP and tell my coworker they were right my coworker was already serving their notice as the new company had promised in writing they would never force them to report to this woman they didn't even employ on penalty of several thousand dollars
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Feb 18, 2021 13:35
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hope they got better
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Outrail posted:Hold up. They got that in writing? According to them yes, but admittedly I've never seen it. They went to a small start up that was like 3 people when they joined so it didn't seem impossible to me.
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Feb 18, 2021 17:27
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One of the 6 teams Im on has 8 people. 4 of them, including me, put in out notice in the past two weeks. Management gave the four of us a hearfelt plea to work as hard as we can during our exit as they have no one to replace us. I considered buying an inkstained burlap sack before I looked down on them and whispered "no" Barudak fucked around with this message at 14:13 on Feb 19, 2021 |
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Feb 19, 2021 14:09
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A friend had a job where you had to report your time in 15 minute increments. They worked on one piece of business doing one thing full time so it was this agonizing slow click multi-hour long process to tell the system 15 minutes at a time they had the same job they had two weeks ago.
Barudak fucked around with this message at 18:23 on Feb 19, 2021 |
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Feb 19, 2021 18:21
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I had a boss for 3 weeks who one day I went in and their door was locked and hr brought all of us who worked with them into a separate room and told us if anyone from the news or police reached out to us to direct them to PR. If you're wondering what the hell that was about, me too because they didn't tell us anything in the meeting and just booted us from HR after that statement. So you don't live in suspense like us: the lady had scammed like 600,000 USD out of McDonalds by creating companies and buying advertising with them when they had no inventory
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Feb 19, 2021 18:49
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Zarin posted:bUt ThEn HoW wIlL tHeY kNoW hOw MuCh To BiLl TeH cLiEnT I work in an industry where everything is FTE based and yet they want % of your time allocated to projects. This sort of makes sense to prove to each client the time you spend matches the FTE, but fundamentally if the work gets done it gets done or doesn't theres no hard stops I can't tell someone "sorry that was my 20% to you for the month". They also across the entire industry regularlu over allocate you, like on paper I was at 150% allocation across clients, so in my mind the timesheet is like having a document labled "my_scams.db". This is probably why they are giving me an exit interview specifically because Im leaving for a client job that manages the entire relationship from the other side.
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Feb 20, 2021 07:10
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You just reminded me a year ago one of the accounts I worked on sent out a huge email that we were going to switch to agile development and we had to brief the client and all this jazz. None of the material ever went into describing what a story was, calibrating points, and you know the other stuff that makes agile like actually function. Everyone worldwide starts panicking as nobody anywhere in this business has ever done agile before because, uh, this is an advertising company and Agile makes no loving sense whatsoever. There is no training material ever shared and every market is left to their own devices to figure out how the hell they're supposed to make it work. Of course the entire thing was quietly dropped about a week after its supposed launch and has never been mentioned again.
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Feb 20, 2021 07:49
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Yeah it can be really easy to say "get rid of toxic people" but I've worked at jobs where the toxic person is there specifically because the boss is just as toxic. Like "starts a meeting by leading everyone in a prayer for Romney's victory over that [slur]" while the boss nods in approval
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Feb 24, 2021 02:48
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webmeister posted:Not wanting to name recipients in the email itself gives you a pretty clear indicator of how many people they think would watch the video otherwise But number of people with names in email > 0
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Feb 25, 2021 04:49
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I was told to fix an issue that I've not only didn't know was an issue but didn't know existed on a task Ive been doing otherwise without issue for four months and attended all training for. I asked for more info as there was no explanation and was directed to a confluence page. The confluence page has no information about this. I pointed this out and the response has been complete silence. My last day is in 3 weeks so jokes on them, I can run out the clock harder. Barudak fucked around with this message at 03:34 on Feb 26, 2021 |
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Feb 26, 2021 03:32
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Hyrax Attack! posted:It's fascinating to read this thread about real software developers using Agile and it having a positive impact. I'm not in advertising but in a non-tech role and we've gone whole hog with Agile. And Scrum. And Kanban. And now we're Scrumban (someone in another thread assured me that was real.) All moving towards "Activation" that is going to change everything but I cannot find a coherent explanation of what that will be. Sure is a good excuse to give consultants millions of dollars and keep our management in meetings every minute of the day. For things where you define projects and iterate on them and deliver continuous support Agile makes sense to carve this process into achievable, purposeful chunks. If your work does not come in at a pace, goes out rapidly with numerous small tasks that change daily that you can't control timing on, things don't ladder up into a product whole, have a method of objective versus qualitative or other kpi scoring, and you don't require or cannot have an ongoing scope adjustment to manage creep it doesn't make any sense* because it can't manage that properly because it was never supposed to. They installed Jira for my business world wide and the thing is used solely to submit tasks that previously went directly to the teams working on them but now go through Jira to... route them to the exact same people as before. Absolutely nothing has been gained and it takes longer and everyone has to check an additional system that is used for this one task and nothing else, but JIRA!!! Edit: Im the only person in my 400 person office who knows how to grant new people access to Jira. I plan on taking that info with me when I leave. *Consultants getting paid millions does make sense, obviously. They're rich now! Barudak fucked around with this message at 14:04 on Feb 27, 2021 |
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Feb 27, 2021 14:02
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Every company I've ever worked at offices have only been for people two titles above me, I get promoted within one, and then they switch to open office and only c-suite get offices. This isn't a joke, this is my literal entire career. Somewhere there is a person who started like 5 years before me who keeps jumping ship juuuust fast enough to keep an office their whole career. Hot desking or as they like to call it "Activity Based Workstations" makes absolutely no sense even when attempted to be spun as a positive. Every company I've ever seen do it within about two weeks every team has carved out their space they always work from and never leave and if you need to find another team you can't look up on a chart where they are you have to beg for knowledge from someone. The absolute best is I've seen it used to freeze out new hires people don't like by denying them seats with their team and forcing them to sit by themselves or get pushed out of other teams areas until they quit. The funniest part to me is they always try to sell it on "you can change who you sit with during the day as needs change!" but again, uh, accounts payable, operations, hr, etc none of them would ever need to or want to move. Even better when the department heads keep offices and for some reason their whole department is always camped out in front of their office and never budges I wonder why that is????
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Feb 28, 2021 02:55
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A company was switching to activity based workstations and they were like "we're going to make all the offices meeting rooms, some just for one person phone calls" and then wanted feed back at a company wide meeting. God rest the anonymous caller who asked in front of 600 people "can we make the phone call rooms frosted glass? I'd like to have somewhere private to cry so my coworkers can't see me"
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Feb 28, 2021 07:11
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A good gantt chart: This part takes 5 weeks to design, 3 to test, two for extraneous approvals and feedback so next piece dependency can start blah blah blah A bad gantt chart: This loving rear end in a top hat with the data usually takes a week to get back to me but gently caress me if he doesn't just sometimes dissappear into a magical back alley for weeks at a time and uh now that I squint this request has nothing to do with what the client asked for in the first place, why is this attached on the same chain?
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Mar 1, 2021 03:14
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I got a message back from a company 14 months after applying and never having had an interview.
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Mar 2, 2021 01:57
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Yes, unsurprisingly having a non-white name gets you trash binned and having a non-white voice over the phone will too. It poo poo but at least, sort of, its one place where companies know they're leaving money(sweat?) on the table by being racist so most are trying to work on it. I had a coworker announce, unprompted day one, thats she had been fired from her previous job for racism. She was let go very quickly soon after for, who could guess, racism. Afterwards all of us, which included everyone who reported her, had to take sensitivity classes ordered by the company. Yes, now is when this will help. Barudak fucked around with this message at 03:29 on Mar 2, 2021 |
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Mar 2, 2021 03:24
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ArbitraryC posted:Has there been any studies on how this does more harm than good? It always feels like the best case is you're preaching to the choir and the more common case is people who aren't the intended audience feel a bit offended at the passive implications and push away from believing it's an issue at all. I'm not a source on this but my experience is it doesn't even work to get problematic people to loving cover their tracks better. Oh hey Bill, you do that training on sexual harrassment? Sure did you stud, now come here and give me a hug
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Mar 2, 2021 05:15
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This is a no fooling flowchart of a thing that happened to me Step 1 - Join new company Step 2 - Complete my first week onboarding including sexual harrassment training Step 3 - Boss comes by on Friday, "Hey, let's celebrate by going to the strip club, my treat"
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Mar 2, 2021 05:31
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I find talking about anime helps build the loathing immediately. Especially here in Japan where I mispronounce every word and name.
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Mar 2, 2021 17:32
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Son of Rodney posted:Just... Buy your own pods :?: Im gonna guess they worked in HR or other positions where they could leverage their status to make hell for the non-compliant. And years ago there was a goon who posted how their office switched to a company which charged for coffee in all change that nobody used, then got mad when no one used it and instituted a no-outside coffee policy, which lead to illicit under desk coffee pots, and then finally them doing the math and realizing the company was now losing more money to not provide coffee than they were when they paid for coffee
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Mar 5, 2021 08:32
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Fantastic Foreskin posted:I can't imagine a company not providing free coffee. I also can't imagine one providing coffee that's drinkable, but it's the thought that counts. A company I worked at had the Starbucks business and so got some insanely expensive looking machine with like 4 flavors of starbucks 3 of which rotated and thats how I learned they can make an ok bean but sweet god Pikes Place is a sin against coffee.
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Mar 5, 2021 16:52
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Saalkin posted:Sorry everyone I lied. I got two more emails about this employee appreciate day lol. Running total is 5 A company someone I know worked at tried to do "boss appreciation day" which was cut short very very quickly when something like a quarter+ of the staff were weirdly all out sick that day.
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Mar 5, 2021 17:01
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Outrail posted:'We are engaged in a mercantile arrangement. My time for your money. Anything beyond this simple agreement is nothing less than a forced unilateral negotiation.' I worked with a person who was regularly up working until 2-3 am their time and then back online at 7 so this was not really possible. They were the most dedicated rear end in a top hat I would not ever wish to work under.
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Mar 6, 2021 03:26
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