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Dilkington posted:Please someone teach me all your SAP tricks. No one can find our documentation and all the superusers have retired... Congratulations, you're basically an SAP consultant. Have enhancements and the Google standard sounds different than what you should do? Whatever you do, do not learn the differences. This is how you end up getting a call at 1:30 am to please to be running zptc_clown_shoes to support quarter close because noone else knows how that report works.
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Feb 1, 2021 01:09
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| # ¿ May 21, 2024 00:39 |
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Gantt charts are garbage in garbage out. Except directors are 100% fine if garbage comes out because they have like 20 of these on their desk so a list of red and green circles is all they need to proclaim they are very scientific data driven managers and collect their exit bonus on the way out when the projects all fall over and fail at the last minute. A well managed Gantt chart with accompanying well defined project plan is a beautiful thing like others are mentioning but to be anything other than a cargo culted project accessory they need no less than: trustable estimates (bonus if comparable to past completions with an honest discussion of why this time might be different), exact useful completion and exit criteria for steps and phases, and collaborative reviews in the creation and execution of it. Changing track to document naming if you have a real need to care i.e. strictly controlled documents you should already have a document maintenance bible or else it should be your job to write one. If your need is real enough you could also get a CMS for it (including hell implementations of sharepoint in this umbrella lol). Otherwise chaos reigns, I'm just going to tell you to send me the latest. But seriously sharepoint is... It's not good but maybe acceptable for especially collaboration. My dumb job thing is we have a sharepoint and we still use V1 V2 in file names and have a loving archive folder for the old ones. Sharepoint is doing that for you you motherfuckers! Also needing to upload spec docs in both this project sharepoint (which is a dumb directory without workflows) and a software lifecycle CMS (which has workflows we completely ignore) because logging into the lifecycle system is too hard. Also also they have some hosed up sharepoint layout and I sometimes find the raw link into the directory and praise Jesus because goddamnn holy gently caress the layout is like 5 file directories framed out in one page with the file names and sharepoint action buttons cut off from the framing, serious mickey mouse poo poo.
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Mar 1, 2021 16:27
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Our hosed up hell society has successfully internalized "I don't want to hire you" and "you are fired" as "I wish for you to starve to death" and deals with this by just finding the least empathetic ways to get this message across instead of dealing with the root cause: making sure people don't starve to death while we find the best way they can contribute to society.
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Mar 1, 2021 16:48
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Is this the right place to declare my arch enemy is anyone who uses return characters to pad white space to keep things together instead of using page breaks and orphan controls. Maybe I'm just the monster for using web view in Word on documents that are not meant to be and never will be printed but if I'm feeling beholden to page layout I would never resort to slamming the enter key till it looks right for this instance of time before someone writes "fart" 3 pages back and now an entire blank page of returns prints.
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Mar 1, 2021 21:25
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Even if you're gonna be the mail room drone, if you're direct hiring to a Fortune 500 they're gonna at least run credit check and criminal history background on you and your past names because???? Data driven hiring decisions I guess. Often require the same for contractors even.
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Mar 2, 2021 19:33
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TacticalHoodie posted:Last job I worked at had one of those industrial Keurig machine that you had to pay a quarter to use but they provided the k-cups. Someone decided to gank whole boxes of k-cups so they you pay for the kcup and then pay to use the machine. They would not allow you to have a coffee machine at your desk because it's a loving call center. Visit a lot of them on IT contract and the last day is usually they unlock the storage room of nearly expired stock that they pull the break room stuff out of and do the fable treasure room thing where anything you can carry with your own power is yours. Although a few of the more self centered managers will bundle up obviously damaged/nearly expired product as a gift basket and beam while handing it over like they are doing you a favor. This is usually after inventory has let us into the room anyway lol.
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Mar 5, 2021 16:56
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poisonpill posted:Cant you just Amazon a box of pens and expense it?
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Mar 5, 2021 17:15
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Our cyber punk procurement future is your ERP let's you plug in an amazon link for 30 bic pens for $5 that your office mate prefers and it interrupts you with "wouldn't you rather buy a pallet of pens from our contract for $500" and you tell it no I just need the $5 small box. Your request goes to a controller who instinctually denies it and tells you to order the pallet of cheap pens that explode 5 minutes after you put them in your pen well.
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Mar 5, 2021 17:26
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In high school I had a summer job at a federal institution making copies and coffee and doing excel poo poo. I didn't have a desk really. My computer was set up on dozens of reams of paper that they had procured to prevent their office procurement budget from going down from disuse. Luckily the building was a brick shithouse from the 50s. If you try to do the same thing in a cheap building, especially a trailer based office, you will put a hole in the floor with that much paper.
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Mar 5, 2021 17:31
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TacticalHoodie posted:Anything past code date we normally give to the local food banks. Most of the time we bring in stuff we make at home to share with the office. We have monthly BBQs and there is always treats during Christmas. The only time we just hand out food to employees is when a shipping company gives us some other's company food we aren't selling in the stores and the transport company doesn't want to pick it up. Managers always explain legitimizing the thing is a huge benefit to shrinkage and pest control because they'll just tear poo poo open on the floor when you aren't looking if they don't have an outlet. Last conversation about this was next to a torn open case of gum next to the case pick line with the guy sighing like "yeah I guess I gotta tell em if they really want gum there's plenty up front" Should also mention this is all in manufacturer distribution centers so the shrinkage accounting hits are sub wholesale. Might be a little more strict if you're writing off at wholesale. Steakandchips posted:Why do you have a pen well at work, are you from the past?
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Mar 5, 2021 18:32
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My PTO is fine but I have really regressive exempt overtime even within the same company. Division heads are like please to be comp timing to avoid burnout. Meanwhile noone I know can tell me what I actually put into the time clock for comp time because it's not a written policy anywhere public and the bosses probably get bonuses when we meet targets so they aren't going to be in a hurry to find out what dicking around time code should be used. Past two years have averaged >40 hours a week while taking all 3 weeks PTO and 2 weeks holiday. Goal/standard for my seniority is 37. I put up with a lot of poo poo for travel limits and least likely to get PIPed into the contracting world for sand bagging at contributor and team manager level.
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Mar 8, 2021 18:08
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I've never seen an appreciation program be something other than a massive disaster. Worst case is they contract out to reward points vendors that are straight out of highschool fundraisers where you earn hundreds of points to buy stuff out of a catalog where anything useful starts at thousands and you buy points to make up the difference. But let's say it's cash or gift cards which are instantly exchangeable at least. I've only ever seen it go two ways stemming from everybody forgetting the program even exists until December: 1. A massive graft system where everybody pairs off and cashes out their allotment tit for tat 2. A manager notices the massive graft, gates rewards behind management, and then either completely forgets about it so noone gets anything or dishes then out equally at the end anyway.
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Mar 9, 2021 17:17
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Me two years ago: theyre're going to run out of serial numbers in a couple years Them: what? They have like 1 million of them Me: yes, a million exactly that are gonna run out in 2 years Them: ok maybe but we probably won't even have a contract here then anyway Guess where we still have a contract and what happened today
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Mar 10, 2021 17:49
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Outrail posted:What I'm hearing is you could replace the stickers with dummies, and scan one long line of rfdi chips without leaving the break room E. Although security proof of work systems with barcodes or RFID are overpriced and overly complicated compared to just clipping laminated cards of various sizes with text on them "this is a terrorist. Normal staff do not touch. Security please apprehend this terrorist" zedprime fucked around with this message at 18:01 on Mar 11, 2021 |
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Mar 11, 2021 17:57
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Outrail posted:How hard is it to have a 'security' cell phone with a gps tracker on it? Avenza is free and is granular enough to show movement from room to room. Talk about over complicating things
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Mar 11, 2021 20:48
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I am intensely interested in how they try to spin going back to the office because my job title minus near shore is already completely WFH if you're not traveling. Gonna be riots to try and put that back in the box. I'll be going back in anyway because I live 5 minutes away and like the change in scenery.
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Mar 12, 2021 20:22
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wooger posted:Agree. The danger of outsourcing is real.
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Mar 13, 2021 22:07
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poisonpill posted:Also, the dude who invented this truly, absolutely believes that paper is good for the environment because it acts as a carbon sink Lazyfire posted:He's also never seen or heard of a paper mill, or think they are water powered and don't use heavy chemicals or something. The opposite of this is not "print more things >.<" And in fact is aggravated by such a practice. But I can at least recognize the twisted sort of logic that's given in the latitude of paper ecology to lead smart engineerly brains to say print baby print: every ton of paper now has a forestry requirement of replanting and growing saplings so net paper use does have carbon sinking associated to it and we can even balance it for water and electricity use by increasing the acreage requirements. This isn't happening now obviously but I convince myself increasingly every day that our carbon problems are gonna be fixed by thinking about how we wipe our rear end and what happens to our junk mail.
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Mar 16, 2021 15:17
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I live my life on a 15" laptop either on a sofa chair or in the dark recesses of client conference rooms where light never shines. I would trade all the standalone monitors in the world for to keep a decent track pad and integrated numpad on a laptop.
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Mar 17, 2021 14:09
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Work is definitely a waste of good weedPsychedelicWarlord posted:this is more of an industry thing than my specific work but people in the non-profit world get so disturbed and upset if you have your camera off. the expectation is for everyone to have video on, all the time. sometimes in meetings people will even ask for it. i do my best to stand against this by never turning my camera on unless explicitly ordered to. Have it turned on because it's policy Randomly on and off constantly as they sneakily hide going to the bathroom or eating lunch Rolling your eyes IRL and saying "my cameras broke" Not even acknowledging a personal request to turn your camera on There's a time and a place for cameras in teleconferencing and it's not most calls. The last thing you want when someone is sharing their screen or a presentation is a peanut gallery of randos picking their nose.
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Mar 18, 2021 21:14
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Sormus posted:So at work we had our twice a year maintenance stoppage. One agenda was replacement of a gearbox/reducer/whatever for an electric motor.
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Mar 19, 2021 17:04
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SkyeAuroline posted:good news: I have not been exposed to plaguebearers in the office 
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Mar 19, 2021 17:50
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Beware anywhere trying out new management schemes like they are clothes. Someone is trying to fix dysfunction by cargo culting something functional. Functional processes do not fix dysfunctional people and things. Functional processes are a result of ironing out all the wrinkly people and things in the way of the process.
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Mar 19, 2021 19:18
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My favorite agile ism is scaled agile, which is usually waterfall but we get to use the agile words like a big boy.
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Mar 19, 2021 19:24
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"You click too fast" "What, its a computer? There's no such thing" *Therac-25 software engineer breaks out into a cold sweat somewhere*
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Mar 21, 2021 16:01
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To be fair to monitor post it notes JC Denton is probably not going to be visiting your office any time soon so it's not the worst amount of physical security you could expect. It feels like we collectively lose our poo poo as a society about passwords every once in a while. My current policy is at defcon 5: 15 character alphanumeric caps and symbols, plus occasional 2FA. Being contract based the policy is also to follow this on client systems whenever possible which lord I try but sometimes I need to log in to industrial hand helds that have hard keyboards not especially meant for typing. So I can either spend 5 minutes logging in or set my password to Butts321 for that period.
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Mar 22, 2021 15:14
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Outrail posted:Kinda surprised larger companies haven't gone for biometric passwords. Unless we are talking like brain activity scans during something like a baseline test from Bladerunner to add a bit of dynamicism.
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Mar 22, 2021 15:47
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boar guy posted:you'd think, but, no. how can a firm maintain respectability if there's no office for the client to fly to for a pointless face to face meeting? and think of the poor team leads and middle managers!
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Mar 22, 2021 18:57
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I have mentioned before I am in my position in a strange appendix office in an industry that is usually promote or die because it is the best way to sandbag that whole system. If you know the business it's more or less advertised that you come here to sandbag lol.
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Mar 23, 2021 20:44
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Gishin posted:Working Cyber security for a DoD installation. Our contract stipulates a Tier 2 incident handler must be on site for business hours. When we transitioned to working from home there was no problem, but management looked at the contract and noticed there were no exceptions for world wide pandemics. So now I have to drive myself here and sit in this freezing rear end office by myself because the contract says so. 
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Mar 24, 2021 21:16
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Batterypowered7 posted:Is this like the riddle where one guard always tell the truth and the other one only lies? If it's consulting like the other person was theorizing, the reporting structures are some yarn on a cork board poo poo.
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Mar 24, 2021 21:42
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Hyrax Attack! posted:Regarding basic Excel knowledge I remember in the Corporate megathread in BFC someone mentioned it's ultra-common for resumes to claim expertise in Gmail, Word, Excel, etc without a second thought. But for a role really requiring Excel knowledge they'd sit people down and ask them to set up a basic pivot table and many applicants would panic or claim trickery. It's a general acumen interview for entry level functional computer touching so you might be surprised to hear the excel question is never the make or break point lol.
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Mar 25, 2021 16:16
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I need to sound off a bit more on the interview script we use to give technical interviews to entry level functional people. I have an inflated opinion of half of it because I wrote it and this is the half that generally makes sure you understand how to look at a business and spit out the processes they use and make sure you aren't a walking technical disaster. If you clear these 2 bars you are a top 1% new grad consultant. The other half is the ungodly corporatisms like "how you doin in Excel" or me dead rear end asking supply chain management undergrads "what is the Cloud?" Machai posted:Former coworker used to say "good morning" no matter the time of day.
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Mar 25, 2021 16:49
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Volmarias posted:I'm curious what answer you're looking for, because I feel like the simple yet accurate answer of "your stuff on other people's computers" wouldn't go over well for you. Full marks is being able to explain the advertising grift.
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Mar 25, 2021 22:15
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I have another question that I genuinely like, it's basically how do you write about or do something completely new to you. Basically looking at how you research stuff. Answering about well tread bullshit is a valid answer, and some of the techier applicants know that and explain how you google random rear end tech poo poo and get a good answer and that's full marks. If you're dancing around googling poo poo but fully put out the subtext that you google poo poo that's average marks. "Does killer rear end research in technical things cause I did real supply chain work or post grad research at some point" is also average marks because you generally figure out how to google real fast. "Ask other people" unlike maybe other social jobs is low marks because if you ask people bullshit that is the worst sort of dead weight in consulting.
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Mar 25, 2021 22:28
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im permabanned poster excelstomper58. i first started doing excel when i was about 12. by 14 i got really obsessed with the concept of "data analysis" and tried to channel it constantly, until my thought process got really bizarre and i would repeat things like "pivot charts" and "vlookup" in my head for hours, and i would get really paranoid, start seeing things in the corners of my eyes etc, basically prodromal schizophrenia. im now on antipsychotics. i always wondered what the kind of "data" style of excel was all about; i think it's the unconscious leaking in to the conscious, what jungian theory considered to be the cause of schizophrenic and schizotypal syptoms. i would advise all people who "get" excel to be careful because that likely means you have a predisposition to a mental illness. peace.
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Mar 26, 2021 14:07
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Zarin posted:I had a co-worker who was ANNOYINGLY evangelic about Index Match, and would NOT miss an opportunity to tell you about how much better it was whenever anyone said "vlookup" within a 4-cubicle radius. You know the type - fresh out of college, thinks he is God's Gift to The Workplace, wanted to change all kinds of poo poo before he even knew what the process DID . . . ugh. It has forever colored my perception of Index Match, even though I've used it a couple times.
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Mar 26, 2021 15:08
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God I miss 99th generation photo copied controlled documents where it theoretically says "Controlled: only valid 24 hours following 11/12/2007" at the footer but it's so blurred you'd never realize it.
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Mar 26, 2021 15:31
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Prism Mirror Lens posted:If you can’t be FYGM in a capitalist workplace where you literally have no info about or control over other people’s salaries, when can you be? Gimme my money
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Mar 31, 2021 17:21
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| # ¿ May 21, 2024 00:39 |
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If we really want to find the best solution to the labor supply and demand situation and really maximize our capitalism, perhaps we could enter into some sort of mutually beneficial agreement with our fellow coworkers where we make our wages known to each other to assist in our own negotiations while helping others. If we get really brave perhaps we could agree to stick our neck out for someone getting treated unfairly by wage or social reprisal. Never let someone tell you labor unions are anti capitalism. They are the most capitalist thing imaginable for labor suppliers i.e. people.
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Mar 31, 2021 17:44
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