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Outrail
Jan 4, 2009

www.sapphicrobotica.com
:roboluv: :love: :roboluv:

WILDTURKEY101 posted:

zoom meetings for "self care"

Chaturbate already has this functionality.

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Outrail
Jan 4, 2009

www.sapphicrobotica.com
:roboluv: :love: :roboluv:
Watched everyone quit and promoted me to run the company. I have exactly zero management experience or training.

I made some some basic pie charts with big numbers, presented them at a meeting and proposed a massive increase to my wages budget to better manage things. It looks like this will be approved, everyone is extremely happy with the work so far and my bold new vision for the company. I have three years to figure out how to do my job before our funding runs out. Nobody seems to have any problems with this.

Outrail
Jan 4, 2009

www.sapphicrobotica.com
:roboluv: :love: :roboluv:

Len posted:

Has people come into work even if the people in their house have covid because "you don't have any symptoms it's fine" and "you don't have your results back yet so you don't have it"

Holy gently caress that's reprehensible.

Outrail
Jan 4, 2009

www.sapphicrobotica.com
:roboluv: :love: :roboluv:

A CRAB IRL posted:

Nah it's still HR

Outrail
Jan 4, 2009

www.sapphicrobotica.com
:roboluv: :love: :roboluv:
We're switching to a different business model which needs better time tracking. Instead of paying for decent time tracking software the boss (me) made the hr department (also me) have someone (me) create a project time tracking system from scratch on excel. I'm onboarding new staff this week, so we'll see if it's as bad as I think it is (it is). I refuse to accept any responsibility for the debacle.

Outrail
Jan 4, 2009

www.sapphicrobotica.com
:roboluv: :love: :roboluv:
^ what was the injury? RSI to the wrist?

Volmarias posted:

I can no longer tell if this is a joke or not.

I am 100% serious. The wages increase just leveled it up to just under industry average, so not the grift it could have been. But otherwise it's as ridiculous as it reads.

Outrail
Jan 4, 2009

www.sapphicrobotica.com
:roboluv: :love: :roboluv:
Hired some people and had an onboarding meeting last night. ".. And our safety and hr policies are still 'in development', so for the time being don't do anything that would get you in trouble at your last job. And don't discriminate against anyone. Also don't do anything unsafe. Being unsafe is against the rules. Any questions?" I've become everything I despise.

Outrail
Jan 4, 2009

www.sapphicrobotica.com
:roboluv: :love: :roboluv:

InternetJunky posted:

At the risk of doxxing myself, here's a screen grab from the screen saver I have to put up with (it's from our corporate values).



This is the face of a man who wouldn't hesitate to steal your sandwich.

Outrail
Jan 4, 2009

www.sapphicrobotica.com
:roboluv: :love: :roboluv:
So you're saying my team can get the most efficient workers fired to increase our own chances of promotion? Isn't that a huge loophole? Did somebody watch survivor and thought 'yes, this is a viable business model'?

Outrail
Jan 4, 2009

www.sapphicrobotica.com
:roboluv: :love: :roboluv:
A hundred years ago we had the nicest HR lady who'd go out of her way to make sure you got as much pay as possible, including working the system so that when you quit your vacation pay would keep generating more vacation pay for as long as possible.

I'm certain Satan just dropped her into HR as a joke to see what would happen.

Outrail
Jan 4, 2009

www.sapphicrobotica.com
:roboluv: :love: :roboluv:

Charles Bukowski posted:

My girlfriend has recently left a very big popular retail company after working with their marketing team for a year. From the stories it seems like each department was run by amazing egomaniacs that did all they could to spite one another.

I can recall a coworker of theirs writing in an anonymous complaint to HR about the boss abusing their staff, which was hand delivered to the boss from HR. The boss then read out the letter in a team meeting and began a witch hunt to find out who wrote it.

The correct response is to make another anonymous complaint about the handling of the anonymous complaint. Use a different writing style.

Outrail
Jan 4, 2009

www.sapphicrobotica.com
:roboluv: :love: :roboluv:

Riatsala posted:

Last I heard a reckoning was on the horizon for them but I seriously doubt it. Just glad I'm not in their district.

Figure out who's going to be taking over and walk in swinging a big gay dick with a shiny new ready to implement upgrade plan with full cost benefit analysis. Offer to come on as a short term contractor to help them set up (at a ridiculous rate), then offer to stick around as full time support staff (at a much lower but still high salary rate).

e: Oh, you moved away.


....double the contract rate to come back

Outrail
Jan 4, 2009

www.sapphicrobotica.com
:roboluv: :love: :roboluv:

Slavik posted:

12-15 years ago offering everyone with a work mobile the option to use it as their personal mobile if they paid for any personal calls and text messages (obviously before free minutes and text contracts were common). Expected one person to be able to itemise this for each employee using the monthly bill - cross referencing the time of day the calls/texts took place and checking if they were contacting work numbers or personal numbers. Said monthly bill was 300+ pages long and on paper. Said scheme lasted 2 months before it was quietly discontinued and forgotten about after the employee had a breakdown.

Holy lol this is dumbest thing

Outrail
Jan 4, 2009

www.sapphicrobotica.com
:roboluv: :love: :roboluv:
I think it's pretty obvious after 'a bunch' of people have been vaccinated the majority of people will shout hooray we're done and Covid will be over. After that noone else will need to get vaccinated or wear masks coz we've got that heard immunity they read about it on Facebook and they'll get back to licking each others eyeballs.

Outrail
Jan 4, 2009

www.sapphicrobotica.com
:roboluv: :love: :roboluv:

Ocean Book posted:

its been so long since anyones licked my eyeball :(

Have you lodged a complaint to HR?

Outrail
Jan 4, 2009

www.sapphicrobotica.com
:roboluv: :love: :roboluv:
Maybe the mistake was initially pretending what the supervisor wanted was even possible. I'm forced to continually learn the 'give and inch they'll take a mile' lesson, it's hard to learn when to just shut poo poo down immediately because each request in incrementally reasonable until you're wasting a full day a week pandering to some dumb poo poo you shouldn't have to be worrying about.

There's got to be a happy medium between 'be a complete prick and say no to everything always' and 'be a complete pushover' but it's hard to find.

Outrail
Jan 4, 2009

www.sapphicrobotica.com
:roboluv: :love: :roboluv:
I dated one coworker, luckily she left before we broke up, coz otherwise that would have been messy with half the office taking sides (read:hating my guts).

Date them after one of you quits, or make sure both parties are cool enough to not give a poo poo what happens.

If you do have to get drunk and hook up at a work party, try to avoid having sex in a tent with a dozen of your coworkers (including your ex-GF) standing around making comments. Luckily management never found out about that or he'd have been called out at the next Christmas party. Australian work culture used to be very chill about some things.

Outrail
Jan 4, 2009

www.sapphicrobotica.com
:roboluv: :love: :roboluv:
Or start documenting every interaction. If she's abusive she'll do something fireable eventually.

Outrail
Jan 4, 2009

www.sapphicrobotica.com
:roboluv: :love: :roboluv:
In a sane world that sort of fuckery would be a fireable offence so I assume the guy who hid the faults is getting a raise?

Outrail
Jan 4, 2009

www.sapphicrobotica.com
:roboluv: :love: :roboluv:
Start a move to finish them. If it works you're the big hero. If it fails you used your initiative and cleared some space ahead of time and you're the big hero.

--

I just realised you can hold space while muted on zoom to temporarily unmute, release to mute again. Like using a radio switch. It's great. Also 'I have connectivity issues' are magic words to turn your webcam off and gently caress about on your phone.

Outrail
Jan 4, 2009

www.sapphicrobotica.com
:roboluv: :love: :roboluv:

Jeza posted:

if only the other grandpas out there could learn the magic of PTT as you did

I spent a solid 5 minutes using screenshare explaining the difference between clicking a link to open zoom in the browser and opening the app. I'm still not sure he understands the difference.

Outrail
Jan 4, 2009

www.sapphicrobotica.com
:roboluv: :love: :roboluv:
Apparently skype is going to be discontinued after July. They basically had a monopoly on business video calling. How did they gently caress that up so badly? Was it because Microsoft bought them out and hosed it up?

Outrail
Jan 4, 2009

www.sapphicrobotica.com
:roboluv: :love: :roboluv:

teen witch posted:

I’m about to write a list about “perhaps these things to consider” for a potential highly bespoke platform built from the ground up that my org is trying to make, despite the hundreds of similar platforms we can use already existing.

This platform is to be done by late spring and uhhhh I ain’t seen poo poo from it.

Let alone beta test it.

Let alone run a test file with several adjacent and accessory files.

Let alone specifications being generated.

A ton of money is riding on this.

Ah.

Do people ever realise they're not going to be able to deliver, delete everything from the server and try to blame IT for tanking the project?

Outrail
Jan 4, 2009

www.sapphicrobotica.com
:roboluv: :love: :roboluv:

TacticalHoodie posted:

I am kind of glad I have to come into work everyday to avoid the hell of consistent zoom meetings. Unfortunately it means that I am dealing with people every day who don't want to wear masks but want to get into your face about everything. The joys of working with a office full of boomers and you are the youngest office staff.

One wrong sneeze and you could claim the title of seniority by right of conquest.

Outrail
Jan 4, 2009

www.sapphicrobotica.com
:roboluv: :love: :roboluv:

Play posted:

I'd be so furious about that. You should sue them for putting you in that situation where getting infected is so insanely likely. gently caress those people.

I take my health more seriously than any job, and I've already had to set some boundaries at my work because there are some risks I refuse to take and I don't give a gently caress what the standard policy is. If something seems unsafe to me I'm not doing it, period.

gently caress, lost sense smell as a result of mandated work activity? That's a workers comp claim right there.

Outrail
Jan 4, 2009

www.sapphicrobotica.com
:roboluv: :love: :roboluv:
Having made the jump from the worker to the manager, I can safely say that workers are every bit as infuriatingly dumb and short-sighted and unwilling to compromise as managers.

I think the problem is people. People are just the loving worst. Or I'm the worst. Or it's both and I am also a person. God.

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

My first real office job was a midsize nonprofit that ran everything - member records, internal forms, the website database - through a single 3GB MS Access file. One person could have it open at a time, so if someone in records was updating someone's account info the communications team would be locked out from updating the website and vice versa, and people forgetting to exit out properly when they were done lead to some vicious interdepartmental drama. Since Access was never designed for bullshit like this and people would routinely do poo poo like email the entire database back and forth to get around a firewall, the archive would get corrupted on a roughly monthly basis and have to be restored from backups, destroying whatever work had been done in the meantime. There was one extremely nice, extremely unlucky software engineer who'd been hired to bring everything over to a new SQL-based system and promptly stuck in a closet where nobody else ever talked to her, who quit shortly after I joined.

I'm not sure... exactly how this whole situation had come to pass, but the CEO who'd come up from fooling around on her family estate approximately one week out of the month to demand updates from all the department heads, announce she didn't like or understand what was going on, and tell everyone to stop what they were doing before loving off back to the farm for another three weeks probably had something to do with it

This is my life only instead of the luxury of an access database the information is spread over a dozen or more excel files and google sheet documents and random websites. There are two websites that house our member records and the current SOP to send out a newsletter is: Export from one website to csv, upload to other website, send out newsletter. Any other email is sent from the first website. This means people need to unsubscribe from two email lists and sometimes the unsubscriptions don't work. Everything is a bandaid on top of a cludge on top of virtual ductape. I'm trying to fix it but there's so much to fix I'm forced to do cludge job to keep things ticking along while I put out some other fire. Kill me, please.

Outrail fucked around with this message at 21:10 on Feb 15, 2021

Outrail
Jan 4, 2009

www.sapphicrobotica.com
:roboluv: :love: :roboluv:

teen witch posted:

aaaaAAAAAA you have no idea how much this bugs me or they’ll change the signature to appeal to someone externally.

OR if I’m introduced to an external contact from someone internally, they’ll make my title into “Senior [title] Manager” to make it sound more important. Like I’m the only one with my title so yeah I’m senior, I’m junior, I’m every woman, it’s all in me.

I think this is pretty normal in some industries. We'd constantly our titles to better fit whatever task we were doing or people we were talking to. Ecologist, Biologist, Environmental Scientist, Program lead, project manager. As long as it's true if it gives you an edge in getting whatever contract you're going for who cares? If they're not impressed by titles they'll ignore it and if they are impressed by titles they'll lap it up.

Outrail
Jan 4, 2009

www.sapphicrobotica.com
:roboluv: :love: :roboluv:

AHH F/UGH posted:

Side note - someone on the mod team should mail Jeffrey Something Awful LLC an invoice for a box of Goldbelly cookies as a joke

Volmarias posted:

You could absolutely spin this into "community manager" for bonus bux

Stick it under 'Volunteering' and you're not even lying.

Outrail
Jan 4, 2009

www.sapphicrobotica.com
:roboluv: :love: :roboluv:
Unless it's in writing with zero ambiguity they're loving with you. If it's in writing with zero ambiguity they're lying to you. If you think you're good coz it's in your contract you're lying to yourself. Work is a gently caress.

Outrail
Jan 4, 2009

www.sapphicrobotica.com
:roboluv: :love: :roboluv:
Be formal to people outside your organization/familiarity. Otherwise email is just a clunky chat client. Change my mind.

Outrail
Jan 4, 2009

www.sapphicrobotica.com
:roboluv: :love: :roboluv:
Companies and corporations being poo poo is a symptom of the real problem. They're made up of people, this is the real root issue.

Outrail
Jan 4, 2009

www.sapphicrobotica.com
:roboluv: :love: :roboluv:
Gene if you want to make sure they're there can't you randomly say 'everyone put on the chat box what's 2+2' and if a kid takes longer than 20 seconds three times in a row fail them? Or is that bullying now?

Outrail
Jan 4, 2009

www.sapphicrobotica.com
:roboluv: :love: :roboluv:
I'm going to start writing my emails in word, screenshot it and send the jpg. I bet I can send three of them before someone notices.

Outrail
Jan 4, 2009

www.sapphicrobotica.com
:roboluv: :love: :roboluv:

Scathach posted:

A friend of my boss sent an unsolicited nude to one of my coworkers. My boss said he couldn't do anything about sexual harassment because it took place outside of work hours. Wtf. If that had been a man sending a woman unsolicited nudes, he would have been fired on the spot.

This probably turns into a can of worms unless they can prove the boss knew about it or endorsed it.

E: To start with find out where the nude sender works and make a complaint to that company?

Outrail fucked around with this message at 17:03 on Feb 17, 2021

Outrail
Jan 4, 2009

www.sapphicrobotica.com
:roboluv: :love: :roboluv:
The person who sent the nude can be dealt with by making a complaint to the company. I think the bigger issue is the nude sender's friend (the boss) is effectively endorsing the action and won't be admonished for it. The buried lede here is if the coworker gets the boss friend in trouble/fired then they'll be in the bosses sights in the future.

Outrail
Jan 4, 2009

www.sapphicrobotica.com
:roboluv: :love: :roboluv:
You're not required to get on the call, but at the same time you're not required to say anything positive about the boss or the company. So you can have fun with that if it's a bridge you can afford to burn.

Or demand a consultant fee.

Outrail
Jan 4, 2009

www.sapphicrobotica.com
:roboluv: :love: :roboluv:
I guess being mature and reasonable about things was a valid option.

Outrail
Jan 4, 2009

www.sapphicrobotica.com
:roboluv: :love: :roboluv:

Cemetry Gator posted:

Speaking of email salutations, I got in trouble because of my salutations.

What's wrong with this?

FOOLISH MORTALS,

I need an update on the project and when you expect you'll be able to deliver it to the customer.

Best regards,

Xorlock, the conqueror of worlds.

'Conqueror of Worlds' is a title and should be capitalised. Also all caps makes you sound like a dementia riddled boomer brain. Otherwise it's fine.

Outrail
Jan 4, 2009

www.sapphicrobotica.com
:roboluv: :love: :roboluv:
Chaotic Evil is 'Looking forward to your response'

Bad Purchase posted:

signing an email is the same as signing a post.

the email program tells you who sent it. the chain of nested quotes in the reply tells you who originally wrote what.

K thx

Outrail Outrailington BSc BS
Regional VP of Shitposts
+1 666 420 6969
Outrail@dildonicsUSA.org

Please consider the environment before printing this email

...

"Bad Purchase" post="512598961"
signing an email is the same as signing a post.

the email program tells you who sent it. the chain of nested quotes in the reply tells you who originally wrote what.

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Outrail
Jan 4, 2009

www.sapphicrobotica.com
:roboluv: :love: :roboluv:

Barudak posted:

By the time they get her on a PiP and tell my coworker they were right my coworker was already serving their notice as the new company had promised in writing they would never force them to report to this woman they didn't even employ on penalty of several thousand dollars

Hold up. They got that in writing?

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