Dumb shit your work does: for some reason in the Diablo font.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Dumb shit your work does: for some reason in the Diablo font.

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Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

slurm posted:

A lot of Norwegians I've met see the US as a primitive country and Americans as savages, is this common?

Norwegian threadlurker who has lived in the US here to answer: Yes.

# ¿ Feb 15, 2023 20:41

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# ¿ May 21, 2024 09:55

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

slurm posted:

What's it like living in one of the like half dozen Perfect Countries.

It's definitely not perfect, things have gotten steadily shittier and worse and our big pile of Socialisms is actively being replaced with a big pile of poo poo like everywhere else instead.

# ¿ Feb 16, 2023 00:49

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

An old job I had sent me to a sensitivity course because I sent an email to the department that was just one sentence in all caps, "PLEASE PICK UP YOUR STUFF FROM <AREA> BEFORE 15:00"; several people had sent complaints about my agressive tone.

# ¿ Feb 28, 2023 00:00

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

I would burn down my boss' home if I had to pay extra for drinkable water at work.

# ¿ Mar 19, 2023 23:17

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

TaurusTorus posted:

One time I found a half eaten Jack Links beef stick on the floor of the handicapped bathroom. I don't know what happened with such urgency that they couldn't finish the job.

Premature ejaculation, obviously.

# ¿ Apr 6, 2023 22:20

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

All this talk about e-stops made me remember the water based ride I worked at Disney World where if you ran a magnet along the door sensor on one of the two cast member entrances, it would trip an e-stop alert in the tower, and if someone did the magnet trick while that e-stop button was pushed the entire building would lose power for some reason, meaning a full evacuation and maintenance crawlthrough, most likely shutting it down for the day and severely loving up the Metrics. It was a tightly guarded secret passed down from one overworked wage slave to another, only to be used in the direst of situations because it would mean a heavy managerial presence over the next weeks.

# ¿ Apr 20, 2023 11:09

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

goatface posted:

I have been known to eat a chedder + nutella sandwich.

What in the world

# ¿ May 19, 2023 14:44

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

Computer viking posted:

I have tried Nutella and spreadable bacon cheese (from a tube) - it's not half bad but also not something I'll be making myself again. My partner is fond of it, for some reason.

Disgusting. The bacon cheese in a tube, that is :norway:

# ¿ May 19, 2023 16:31

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

I have had to tell fellas I work with directly to please not talk to me while I'm taking a poo poo, and they got hella offended every time.

# ¿ May 20, 2023 16:34

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

I just feel like I'm at my least sociable when I'm pushing poo poo through my rear end in a top hat, that's a very private moment, it's a bubble of sanctity for my rear end in a top hat, my phone and I.

# ¿ May 20, 2023 19:26

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

Invalid Validation posted:

It’s because young people realized corporations don’t give a gently caress about you so they act accordingly.

Yeah who gives a poo poo. The trials and tribulations of a mid level HR person at Omnicorp couldn't matter less.

# ¿ May 21, 2023 19:21

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

SubponticatePoster posted:

Yeah, hire all of us for a couple hundred k each, we can think up lots of ways to not sell anything.

For a very reasonable five-figure fee I can make you a horrible Geocities-esque website that shows your entire product line without any way to buy it. I'm even giving you services at a discount!

1k would do it I'm behind on rent. And I can guarantee I will lose you money

# ¿ May 25, 2023 18:43

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

Lazyfire posted:

Yeah, the answer we've been getting is "We base our salary increases on the cost of labor and not the increased cost of goods and the labor cost inflation has been fairly low." Like eight months of every All-Hands Q&As asking about compensation changes and getting that answer and some variation of "We are listening" or "We are sensitive to the topic" and then when raises were handed out they were basically all raised by a single percentage point over the usual range. Most of us understand that the only way to get anything beyond that level of raise is to jump jobs or companies, but I don't think anyone was ready for how little they were willing to do in the face of high consumer inflation. It hit me a little less than other people because I moved up a step just as raises were rolling out and got the max allowable without having to have an executive level person approve the jump. I was apparently in the middle scale of what my pay band was and should have been, after four years, at the high end, so now I'm in the middle area of my new job title.

If you need an idea of how much work I typically do in a day: I was going to respond to that when it was first asked and only just now had some downtime. Typically, I'm at my desk from 6AM to 5PM or beyond, with about eight to ten of those hours being actual work. I'm also doing something like three jobs at the moment and one of them is a crisis level priority, the other is treated like it's in crisis if responses aren't immediate and the third is kicking into high gear now that I'm organizing a process mapping event for next month. In truth, a lot of this is emailing things and responding to questions from either vendors or people further removed from our process, but in May alone I issued something like 200 purchase orders, which is more than what most buyers issue in a year if not multiple years.

Thankfully, I work from home so I can take a couple minutes here and there to decompress away from other people and I get all my email and IMs on my work phone. I can go walk the dog while responding to IMs or whatever I need to do in order to get out of work mode for a few minutes a day. I went to the store yesterday to get some patio furniture and pick up a gift for my wife, but had to stop every five minutes to respond to urgent emails (and the trip was a complete waste because Lowes didn't have the chairs I needed and Wal-Mart didn't have Advance Wars). I can't complain too much because that kind of freedom is lacking in most office or shop floor level jobs entirely, so the fact that I can take some time to do other things that would have to be confined to weekends normally is something of a perk.

Today's been an outlier in that I've gone multiple minutes without anyone trying to contact me, but every Friday before a holiday weekend is like this.

Sounds like the business you surely own is booming at least

# ¿ May 26, 2023 20:17

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

armpit_enjoyer posted:

In a boss' office, there is no place to spit but his face

# ¿ May 28, 2023 13:42

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

madeintaipei posted:

Old friend with a new job:

"oh sweet baby jesus i'm in the hood. like i feel like this is where people end up. but its definitely not where anyone wants to be. i don't want to be here, that's for drat sure. and also? my back hurts. how you doin?"

"Like this is very triggering actually it's like I should be buying drugs here....and doing absolutely nothing else....I know I sound horrible...I've lived a sheltered life....like they literally just got robbed...like may 1st....I'm on break so....there's been 2 parking lot fights since I've been out here"

"I don't think anyone will appreciate my vinyl collection here....I'm trying to find the positive here though...maybe next shift it'll occur to me"

Guess the store.

Sorry bout your dumb racist friend I guess

# ¿ May 29, 2023 05:33

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

credburn posted:

My boss is really open about the amount of fraud she is committing. She owns two convenience stores; one that's super nice and performs well and this busted barely functioning thing I work at. I learned yesterday that the only reason the store I work at exists is because she uses the good store to buy like half the product from the bad store. Her goal is to keep both stores alive for three more years so she can sell both and retire. I've worked there since September and since then we've hired more than ten people and of those ten people, nine have quit or been fired, usually within one or two days of being hired. We've been at negative-one employees needed to even run the store since I started. We've been at -2 employees most of the time. Fortunately there was a single person who decided to keep their job, so we're at a nice -1 employees; not enough to keep the store running, definitely not enough to keep the place clean. Fortunately my boss has a bunch of kids she can force to work there without paying them.

I deal with 220-350 customers per day, depending on day of the week and some other factors. Being on the register for eight hours straight (no break! no bathroom!) means, on a busier day, a customer enters the store every forty-five seconds. My main goal at work is at all times to desperately keep the line low. Customers that shop at this store are loving assholes; half of them are unhoused folks high on meth, the other half are homeless-hating conservative rednecks, high on meth. If the line gets too long, they take it out on me. If we could hire a single other person there are so many problems that could be avoided.

Every day is a nonstop anxiety attack. If this were like an MMORPG transcript, it would read like:

1 customer has entered the store! There are now 4 customers in the store! The line grows.
The customer wants to pay for her groceries but did not bring money.
1 customer has entered the store! There are now 5 customers in the store! The line grows.
The customer wants to pay with debit card, but the card is broken.
1 customer has entered the store! There are now 6 customers in the store! The line grows.
The customer has wandered away!
1 customer has entered the store! There are now 7 customers in the store! The line grows.
You call the customer back. The customer has a different card she would like to use. She is searching for it.
2 customers have entered the store! There are now 9 customers in the store! The line grows.
The customer wants to sign in to her 7-Rewards points thing! But she can't remember her phone number.
1 customer has entered the store! There are now 10 customers in the store! The line grows.
The customer is attempting to enter phone numbers on the 7-Rwards points thing.
1 customer has entered the store! There are now 11 customers in the store! The line grows.
The customer cannot figure out the buttons on the 7-Rewards points thing
1 customer has entered the store! There are now 12 customers in the store! The line grows.
The customer has decided not to deal with the 7-Rewards points thing. She continues searching for her other card.
5 customer have entered the store! There are now 17 customers in the store! The line grows.
The customer found the card! She jams it into the card reader with excessive force. The card reader displays an error.
1 customer has entered the store! There are now 18 customers in the store! The line grows.
The customer is shouting at the card reader. She cannot hear you because the store is too full of people. She cannot hear you telling her to stop shoving her loving card into the reader like she's trying to stab it to death. Customers have begun stealing. Two customers start fighting.
3 customers have entered the store! There are now 21 customers in the store! The line grows.
The customer's card did not work because she has no money. She asks if she can just keep the groceries she brought up to the counter, since some of it, like the coffee and slurpee and other poo poo will just have to be thrown away anyway.
1 customer has entered the store! There are now 22 customers in the store! The line grows.
You'd be a loving monster not to let this woman keep the slurpee. What, you're just going to throw it away. Why would you not let her keep it?
1 customer has entered the store! There are now 23 customers in the store! The line grows.
I can't believe you're just going to throw it away. That's so wasteful. Where's your manager?

I'm generally speaking no rat, but you couldn't pay me money not to try to gently caress over this person as hard as I could.

# ¿ Jun 2, 2023 16:34

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

Lmao

# ¿ Jun 2, 2023 19:41

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

credburn posted:

I told my boss I'm quitting and he said I'm irreplaceable and I've honestly never in my life felt more... it's maybe the only time an employer has ever shown me an indication of value at all.

Still quitting, but gosh

Good, now, burn the place down as you leave.

# ¿ Jun 5, 2023 13:28

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

Serious_Cyclone posted:

I know I'm preaching to the choir here but this is the most self-inflicted bullshit problem for an office to have. There'd be no need for a policy to handle someone claiming a desk for themselves in perpetuity if they weren't hot desking to begin with. The last in-office job I had I had a cubicle with a desk in it, it was my cube and my desk and the topic of "who keeps sitting at this desk" never came up because the answer is me, I'm the one at this desk. Goddamn.

Yeah well some executive needs to be seen as a doer so hot desking it is

# ¿ Jun 8, 2023 23:45

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

tinytort posted:

Dumb things my work is doing: I marked myself as unavailable to work this Sunday, months ago. Despite this, I'm on the schedule for a 10:30 to 5:30 shift on Sunday. This is a problem, since I marked myself unavailable because I got tickets for Comicon, and Sunday - the last day - is 10 to 4.

I'm trying to get it fixed, but one coworker is off for a funeral and another is working the overnight shift that day. And I'm also scheduled for the 10:30 to 5:30 shift on Monday, so I can't really swap for the night shift on Sunday without having to get that next day reworked too.

When I first texted my manager about it, I got told to text my third coworker about it. He told me to ask the guy who's working overnight, because he's not sure he can do the shift that day. So I text my manager back, and get "requesting time off isn't a guarantee, if it's for something important ask or text me as well, I'll text the guy I told you to talk to".

Sounds like your manager failed to do the one thing they are paid to do. Go to comiccon and then quit

# ¿ Jun 10, 2023 09:50

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

drat, she had to do two whole things in one week? You're lucky you're not in jail.

# ¿ Jun 10, 2023 15:42

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

Tarkus posted:

The assertion that the output from, say, GPT4 is just word salad nonsense is just simply not true. When I was playing with GPT2 and 3 I thought the same thing but with the latest version it has turned out to be an extremely useful tool. I have done the following things with it:

- Figure out why a certain sensor isn't giving back data correctly. I gives me some steps to go through and the first one was correct.
- Give it code snippets that's giving me trouble for one reason or another and 9 times out of 10 it'll give me the correct reason as to why it doesn't work or how I hosed up.
- Give it a manufacturing problem and ask how to solve it. It usually gives me answers I already know but it has given me a couple that I hadn't tried and did actually work.
- Get some basic boilerplate code while giving it parameters on what I'm doing. Saves time especially when I'm not particularly well versed in a particular library or language.
- When googling something doesn't return anything exactly like the problem I'm having, I can ask the AI and it'll point me in the right direction or give me terms that are more appropriate.
- Feed it a pdf and ask questions about certain topics to help me understand the material or have it explain a concept to me.

I mean, sure, it's not thinking in any meaningful way but I treat it as though it's a really smart but flawed human that has access to data beyond our imaginations. I'm always critical of the answers it gives in much the same way that I don't entirely trust the answers I get from people. I don't think that people have to be AI evangelists or anything but I think people may be robbing themselves of the use a of a really powerful tool by being so vehemently against it.

You sound like a blockchain enthusiast.

# ¿ Jun 15, 2023 19:42

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

reignonyourparade posted:

Blockchains do nothing and OP is very much describing it doing things, even if you don't think it does those things very well, so no they really don't, at all

They do, though

# ¿ Jun 15, 2023 21:18

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

Randy Travesty posted:

No. My boss was actually my friend and it's a move that is going to tank my entire org, in a really stupid work-coup. It's bad, I'm now missing about half my team for vague reasons and just pulled an 11 hour day on a Friday.

It loving sucks. Oh well. I'll find a new job soon and it won't be my problem.

Old boss got a new job almost instantly at a bigger, more developed firm and is snapping up teammates. He's trying to get me in too. Hope it works out.

Why would you put in 11 hours of work on a friday for a terrible company you want to leave?

# ¿ Jun 24, 2023 07:12

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

Ok well, fine I guess. sorry hope everything works out

# ¿ Jun 24, 2023 13:43

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

MonkeyHate posted:

Lol. Reminded me that my old boss used to ask this one same question at the end of every interview. He’d tell this looong shaggy dog story about things going wrong at work and all reasonable attempts to fix it failing and it’s a technical and professional nightmare with no good answer and right when the interviewee is ready for the “what do you do to handle it” question, he instead ends it with “you fix it and your team goes to the bar to celebrate - so what do you order?”

Always got a laugh and lightened the mood so you could have a few genuine moments with the person’s real personality showing through.

My boss leaves and I get promoted and soon it’s my first time running an interview. I have to keep the tradition alive, so I ask the shaggy dog question. “… so what do you order?” I finish with a big smile on my face. His face falls and he says “oh, I uh don’t drink. I’m sober. 10 years now. There was an accident and… well. She uh, she didn’t … I’m I uh guess I order a water. Do i have to drink alcohol to work here?”

First and last time I asked the question.

Lmfao that is brutal

# ¿ Jul 6, 2023 11:58

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

Examples of going above and beyond: occasionally willing to work overtime at 2.5x

# ¿ Jul 6, 2023 17:48

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

Elviscat posted:

My dad worked as an engineer for SCL, and chose the lower predeceased option on his pension, and Holy loving poo poo has that decision been a boon to our family. Dad died pretty young, around his 65th birthday, and his pension going to Mom means, essentially, that my brother and I will never have to support her financially, which we would at any cost, but instead she can spend their savings on touring the world while she's able, and when she gets too old to live on her own, we'll be able to sell her house and get her the best possible care. She'll probably make more than a million dollars off that pension, based on how great a health she's in right now, that's a million my brother and I can put in our lovely 401ks.

My work's been pretty not stupid, except for the usual refusing to prefambulate components stuff, and one of my employees asking me to skip training for a doctor's appointment, me saying "no problem" and them spending an hour trying to passively get me to say "no" before just saying "I don't want to go, I just want a text from you saying I can't to show my wife" which is loving weird.

I need to get my GF to post here, she's made her company raise her salary 50% in the last two years by threatening to quit multiple times, and now has multiple business units fighting each other to offer her a promotion that comes with either 100% remote work and a free car, a 50/50 blend at a higher salary, or the same hours and stress level and like a 75% pay bump.

Let me know if/when you break up

# ¿ Jul 10, 2023 10:36

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

If your boss gives you two extra jobs to do without compensation, reduce your actual work by 2/3rds. Work slower and worse.

# ¿ Jul 13, 2023 12:29

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

I did a short stint as a call center drone a decade or so back, slinging iphones to retirees, and the scumbag boss started "Formal Fridays" where we had to "dress for the real job we wanted" which I think is psychological torture? loving suiting up for 8 hours in a call center on a friday? Insane poo poo. Scumbag boss was exempt of course, he already had a "real job". And his chief underling spent all day every day trying to rope us (a bunch of 18-22 year olds) into some incredibly shady real estate thing he had going on in Brazil???

# ¿ Jul 19, 2023 17:25

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

RocketMermaid posted:

Thankfully I think the brewing industry has collectively refused to touch rap since Golden Road embarrassed themselves after ABI acquired them, but I would 100% laugh off any attempt to make me participate in such useless motivational consultant fever dreams.

In the meantime, I need to find out who:

-Used a toaster that's specifically designated for toasting wood chips for casks for their sandwiches
-Stole an extension cord I regularly use to do it
-Set the toaster on top of buckets full of parts for sour beers in a way that can easily contaminate them
-Used said toaster two loving feet away from multiple bags of malt and stacks of paper in the most fire-prone way possible
-Left said toaster plugged in just to make sure the fire hazard didn't go away

I went on a long tirade on Slack about it, and about taking care of the brewery in general since the other brewer left and I'm now the only one running and operating the brewhouse (and cleaning up after the taproom people who increasingly don't give a poo poo). I'm so tired of feeling like the only adult in this company.

Quit and watch it burn down in a week?

# ¿ Jul 26, 2023 21:44

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

RocketMermaid posted:

Mind you, this is the same staff that served a beer from one of our brite tanks for a full weekend without realizing somebody had turned off its regulator and came close to pulling vacuum on it recently. How half a dozen bartenders and owners went through and didn't realize "hm, this isn't pouring right!" absolutely baffles me. It's like everybody stopped paying loving attention over the last month, and now that the other brewer left to open a place elsewhere it's solely up to me to make sure the owners and bartenders don't hurt themselves or something.

Why do you give a poo poo if the owners hurt themselves

# ¿ Jul 26, 2023 23:01

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

Sounds like a good time to step back and do the absolute barebones minimum!

# ¿ Jul 27, 2023 23:06

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

Wish I had learned that lesson 20 years ago: never work hard, never try to help, always gently caress over your coworkers if it will benefit yourself

# ¿ Jul 28, 2023 19:00

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

Your former coworkers are all living safe and happy on a farm in upstate Singapore

# ¿ Aug 1, 2023 17:43

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

Ironhead posted:

Yeah, it is, and we are doing three weeks of shows. But they only budgeted for two weeks of labor. We've already sold tickets for the third week.

Easy solve, just don't show up on day 15?

# ¿ Aug 3, 2023 23:02

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

Chocobo posted:

On that subject, my workplace just had its first multiple amputation the other day.

Limbs or digits

# ¿ Aug 4, 2023 10:20

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

Hyrax Attack! posted:

lol new WaPo editorial by Bloomberg demanding return to office. He’s got billions would imagine his commercial real estate portfolio could survive a hit.

Number can only go up, friend.

# ¿ Aug 7, 2023 02:13

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

Powermove is using braille.

# ¿ Aug 10, 2023 16:12

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# ¿ May 21, 2024 09:55

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

TaurusTorus posted:

So I gotta complain about RFID antennas.

A couple months before I joined, my work put up a comprehensive web of RFID antennas in the cleanroom, with the notion that they would monitor everything (the machines, the employees through their ID tags, test equipment everything) Managers can access this monitoring to see who and what is where at any time. Tampering with an antenna is grounds for summary termination, no appeals, you are GONE.

There are several problems here. First, no RFID tag could survive in a process chamber, so the test equipment just has loose RFID tags that are supposed to be linked to a given piece. Of course these tags are lost, damaged, separated from their equipment, whatever.

Second and most important, these antennas interfere with many bits of delicate monitoring equipment. The biggest example of this is capacitance manometers, being exposed to an antenna causes lots of exciting problems, it can more than double the variance on a reading, so a .05 mTorr reading can shoot to .15, which is a problem, but it can go the other way causing a .05 reading to read as -.05mTorr. There is no such thing as negative Torr. I cannot emphasize this enough, Torr is like Kelvin, a reading below zero is outside the laws of physics as we know it. A negative Torr reading causes a cascading failure as every single part of the machine goes into a failsafe, as if that reading is wrong, what else is wrong?

I bring this up because there was a turnover in management, and a new manager saw me putting a RFID shield on the antenna. Normally the shields are an exception to the "no tampering" rule, with express permission to use them to prevent the negative Torr problem. The problem is this permission only existed between techs and engineering, I guess nobody told management. So I had to explain and demonstrate the interference problem, and show that the shields were not just a thing I had, but were an existing approves solution in the cleanroom.

The new manager decided that I was the go between he was going to use, and I had to demonstrate the interference problem to engineering and get their approval to use the shields (the RFID antennas were installed by engineering, and the shields were made by engineering) Fully 3 hours of my life was me playing a game of telephone between engineering and management to get engineering to understand the problem they understood, and to approve the solution they manufactured. This was all on pain of immediate termination if I was found to be doing unauthorized tampering with the antennas.

Should have let it all go down in flames imho.

# ¿ Aug 13, 2023 11:16

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Dumb shit your work does: for some reason in the Diablo font.

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