- kuskus
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surprise! *trips over slipper, hard silver tray full of French toast topples onto the bed, gallon jug of cream gets stuck on the guest’s head, eight blueberries get lodged between their toes, thirty ounces of dry cereal get stuck in the humidifier, piping hot coffee scalds away remaining l’egg hair*
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#
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Feb 4, 2021 11:12
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 11, 2024 09:34
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- Luvcow
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One day nearer spring
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since i adopted a cannibal lifestyle this concept has become much easier
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Feb 4, 2021 14:48
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- FutonForensic
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the perfect bed food is one that doesn't spill or leave crumbs:
that's it there's nothing else
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Feb 4, 2021 15:16
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- barnold
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what do u do when yuo're born to play fps? guess there's nothing left to do but play fps. boom headshot
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I remember reading a Family Circus in the funnies once where the kid was like "your breakfast in bed is on the stairs" with a pancake like half flopped down the stairs. as a kid I had no idea what the joke was and I sat there for hours in a Cow Tools-esque manner trying to decipher it. anyway I was a stupid rear end fuckin kid
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Feb 4, 2021 16:05
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- kuskus
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[5:00 AM] happy valentine's day baby! *steps onto waterbed wearing platform shoes, off-season gravy boat full of hollandaise tips into your open mouth waterboarding you with a hint of lemon and smoked paprika, two slices of carmelized canadian bacon land squarely on each of your eye sockets*
outro music:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OnFlx2Lnr9Q&t=21s
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Feb 4, 2021 19:51
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- canyoneer
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I only have canyoneyes for you
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stayed at a bed and breakfast and it was great that i was able to wake up and start immediately eating my waffle pillow, but i think it may have caused my face to break out
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Feb 4, 2021 20:15
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- Buttchocks
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No, I like my hat, thanks.
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Breakfast Is Bed
*pulls giant pancake over self and rolls over*
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Feb 4, 2021 22:34
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- Escape From Noise
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Falling asleep with a hot water bottle full of hot water and irish oats at my feet. Now I won't have to get out of bed for breakfast! Can't believe I'm still single!
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Feb 5, 2021 18:23
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- kuskus
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Feb 5, 2021 23:02
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- google THIS
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But try having lunch in bed and everyone thinks you're a weirdo
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Feb 6, 2021 02:35
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- Escape From Noise
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Smooching a pancake and wishing it a good night as I tuck them in.
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Feb 6, 2021 06:44
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- treasure bear
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Breakfast Is Bed
*pulls giant pancake over self and rolls over*
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Feb 15, 2021 02:08
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- nut
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confusing my duvet for a stack of Arby’s breakfast MeatSheets(tm)
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Feb 17, 2021 02:00
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- Areola Grande
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it's a free country u pervs
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confusing my duvet for a stack of Arby’s breakfast MeatSheets(tm)
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Feb 17, 2021 03:12
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- Finger Prince
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Breakfasts in bed are really good, but are you legit gonna order one at a time of day when regular toppings in bed are available?
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Feb 17, 2021 03:37
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- Escape From Noise
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Falling asleep with rolled oats in my mouth so they'll be cooked by the time I wake up for work.
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Mar 10, 2021 19:28
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- RickRogers
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Woh, is that a thing I like??
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Filling my duvet cover with Müsli and milk and then swinging it around my head to ensure even mixing.
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Mar 10, 2021 19:34
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- fps_nug
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horsing around no longer
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I remember reading a Family Circus in the funnies once where the kid was like "your breakfast in bed is on the stairs" with a pancake like half flopped down the stairs. as a kid I had no idea what the joke was and I sat there for hours in a Cow Tools-esque manner trying to decipher it. anyway I was a stupid rear end fuckin kid
I actually dont get it but maybe it's because I just woke up
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Mar 10, 2021 20:49
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- AARD VARKMAN
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i like to eat crumbly crackers in bed like a freakin boss
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Mar 10, 2021 22:46
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- Escape From Noise
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Slippin' a little maple syrup into my IV bag this morning
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Mar 11, 2021 17:38
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- Escape From Noise
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I actually dont get it but maybe it's because I just woke up
It's just that the kid dropped breakfast on the way to his mom's bed. What a scamp!
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Mar 11, 2021 17:39
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- kuskus
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Spent the money from my summer job 3D printing a powersuit from Fallout. it has positive air pressure and oxygen so I just lay in it all day. I rigged up my meals so that when I press my thumb on my right hand, a blueberry RX bar conveys into my mouth with a servo at 5mm/s for good eatin’.
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Jun 29, 2022 05:04
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- Finger Prince
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You know, with all the different things people have included in cans of beans, I find it shocking that nobody as yet has thought to include an egg.
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Jun 29, 2022 08:13
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- Tebulot
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im hip now bois
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Standing at the end of the bed, underhand tossing single pieces of breakfast at my sleeping wife
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#
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Jun 29, 2022 09:38
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- kuskus
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Standing at the end of the bed, underhand tossing single pieces of breakfast at my sleeping wife
https://youtu.be/O9_w90mhz-o
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Jun 29, 2022 11:10
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- Tebulot
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im hip now bois
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Lmao yes
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Jun 29, 2022 13:29
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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#
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May 11, 2024 09:34
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