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A full six pounds of sliced "roast" "beef" covered in Grandma's country gravy, piled high with all the trimmings*, covered in Bob's Coleslaw, dipped in Horsey Sauce, smothered in Onion Bun Seasoning and served in a bucket behind the dumpster. It's Arby's new Bubblin' Breakfast Bucket and it's only available from 5 AM to 10:30 AM. Arby's: Well, That's Apparently Meat ™️ *From the floor; prices, participation and availability may vary. |
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Feb 16, 2021 15:08
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| # ¿ May 13, 2024 23:43 |
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[Scene: a dimly lit fast food restaurant in the middle of the Tehachapi Mountains, five AM. You are alone. You approach the counter. A mechanical clicking and whirring begins. The dessicated corpse of Worker, suspended from cables leading into the ceiling, is brought out from a sliding wall.] Worker (from a crackling radio around the corpse's neck): Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh, it is, Arby's. Have some meats. [A large pile of shaved protein is shoved into your mouth by a robotic arm attached to the worker's back.] Worker: Biscuits. You will ingest biscuits. [Small, hard discs of indeterminate origin pelt your face. You open your mouth to protest, but the biscuits enter your body. You feel them writhing down your throat, descending into your stomach, where they quickly multiply and swell your body in preparation for The Sauce.] Worker: Please enjoy your breakfast sauce. [A yellowish-gray slurry is pumped into your throat via a sluice, jammed into your face, descending from the ceiling.] Worker: mmm mmmm, that is some meat. [Your blood is thick with the meats. Your organs are failing. Your eyes become heavy and your lungs gasp for air as you become one with the breakfast menu.] |
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Feb 16, 2021 19:32
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im freaking the heck out posted:This is also the regular menu. Worker, clicking and hissing: The Meats are for every meal. |
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Feb 16, 2021 20:07
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cruft posted:I want to make a text adventure game out of this. Full permission granted, my ideas are free |
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Feb 16, 2021 20:25
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Arby's™️ wants you to know: We have some meats. We are unsure of the origin of the meats. We will serve them to you, in the morning, or whenever. We will thinly slice the meats, for you, a meat connoisseur. All of the meats: wait, no, some of the meats. Not all of the meats. Please enjoy 100 beef. Breakfast time? You are bet, please enjoy Horsey Sauce Egg Meats. One pound of thinly sliced meats piled high inside a completely smooth sphere of Horsey Sauce, lowered into the Egg Chamber for further eggification. You will enjoy, of Horsey Sauce Egg Meats. We will deliver, to your home, in the dark of the night. You will awake to the cube. The cube contains the sphere. Everyone is so happy! Wow! They really love you! You're doing great! The cube contains this joy! Consume the cube! Have some of the meats! Consume! CONSUME! *Biscuits and gravy option available at participating locations. Prices and participation may vary. See your local Arby to ask if he have some meats. |
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Feb 17, 2021 15:34
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Horsey Sauce in the form of a patty, covered in Red Ranch™️, with melted "chayze" on a croissant. That's Arby's™️ new Breakfast Bunyip, available for a limited time. |
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Feb 17, 2021 17:11
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Hello. Welcome to Calm.com's 10-Minute Morning Awakening, brought to you by Arby's. Sit or lie down, however you are most comfortable, and close your eyes. Breathe in deeply through your nose, and exhale gently through your mouth. Feel your senses awaken to the gentle aroma Arby's new Signature Honey Butter Meat Mountain Biscuit. Breathe in the smoky goodness of eleven different kinds of meat, sliced thin and piled high on a freshly baked honey buttered biscuit. Exhale, and feel the freedom of knowing you can eat whatever you want, and no co-worker can judge you. Inhale: you work from home, maybe forever now. Exhale: Signature Honey Butter Meat Mountain Biscuit combo is only $6.99 delivered for a limited time via-- Inhale: UberEats. Prices and participation may vary. |
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Feb 19, 2021 13:48
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Welcome to your ten minute energizing awakening, brought to you by Calm.com and Arby's new breakfast menu. Sit or lie down comfortably for you--and close your eyes. Slowly breathe in deeply, and exhale slowly. Breathe in--let the comforting aroma of Arby's new Signature Honey Butter Meat Mountain Biscuit drift through your mind. Exhale--feel the stress of your plans fade gently to the back of your mind. Breathe in--imagine the soft, flaky layers of Arby's handmade biscuit melting in your mouth. Exhale--you are a golden, buttery god on a throne of your own making. Breathe in--taste the hundreds of different exotic meats, sliced thin and piled high atop a slab of honey butter, melting into a pool beneath you. Exhale--feel awakened and re-energized as the formless masses gather inside your digestive tract, rendering you omniscient. |
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Feb 19, 2021 18:17
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I've been told I have a good "gently caress me, or therapist" voice and I'm not sure what that says about Arby's but I'm glad they hired me to record their calm.com adspot. |
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Feb 19, 2021 20:53
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prepuce repurposed posted:
A sous-vide egg and a garnish of Horsey Sauce with chopped pickle. |
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Feb 25, 2021 03:50
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Arby's new Breakfast Everest™️, loaded with seventeen different kinds of The Meats, a farm-"fresh", "organic" "sous vide" "egg", Kick'r Sauce, Horsey Sauce, Cream of Wheat™️ brand Roast Beef flavored Hot Cereal, Onion Petals, a single dill pickle chip and Red Ranch. |
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Feb 25, 2021 03:58
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Arby's™️ new Wet, Hot American Summer Sausage Crepe™️, now available from 3:41am until 6:22am, every Tuesday only at your Dallas Metro Area Arby's. |
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Feb 25, 2021 04:06
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Every morning, we wake up before sunrise just to milk the ham breasted warblers so we can condense the leavings into Arby's™️ famous Hot Ham Drippings Rolled Up In Wet Newspaper. Pair that with a piping hot cup of Arby's™️ French Roast Au Jus and some Curly Fries, and you've got us thinking, That's Definitely Arby's™️. |
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Feb 25, 2021 04:13
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Arby's™️: Do You Have Some Meats? So Do We. |
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Feb 25, 2021 04:15
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Arby's ™️: Yes, Perhaps There Are Meats™️ |
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Feb 25, 2021 04:38
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 Drive thru only. Prices and participation may vary. |
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Feb 25, 2021 15:21
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| # ¿ May 13, 2024 23:43 |
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Rise and shine, morning people: it's time for Arby's™️ new Jamocha Sunrise. We take our classic Jamocha shake and blend it with the finest reposado tequila, the juice of one "Orange™️" and a splash of grenadine for a taste treat that'll sweep you off your feet. Come on down to Arby's™️ before noon. We won't tell a soul. |
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Feb 26, 2021 00:22
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