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Bright Bart

False. There is only one electron and it has never stopped

Teddy Thunders posted:

[Scene: a dimly lit fast food restaurant in the middle of the Tehachapi Mountains, five AM. You are alone. You approach the counter. A mechanical clicking and whirring begins. The dessicated corpse of Worker, suspended from cables leading into the ceiling, is brought out from a sliding wall.]

Worker (from a crackling radio around the corpse's neck): Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh, it is, Arby's. Have some meats.

[A large pile of shaved protein is shoved into your mouth by a robotic arm attached to the worker's back.]


Worker: Biscuits. You will ingest biscuits.

[Small, hard discs of indeterminate origin pelt your face. You open your mouth to protest, but the biscuits enter your body. You feel them writhing down your throat, descending into your stomach, where they quickly multiply and swell your body in preparation for The Sauce.]

Worker: Please enjoy your breakfast sauce.

[A yellowish-gray slurry is pumped into your throat via a sluice, jammed into your face, descending from the ceiling.]

Worker: mmm mmmm, that is some meat.

[Your blood is thick with the meats. Your organs are failing. Your eyes become heavy and your lungs gasp for air as you become one with the breakfast menu.]


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Bright Bart

False. There is only one electron and it has never stopped
You make your way out of the cold to be greeted inside by a lone employee.

"Welcome to Arby's. Would you like to try our USDA Prime Beef sliders?"

You eye the one-armed man wearily. There have been no cattle or pork for hundreds of miles as you approached the dilapidated town. Not even a dog or a cat. The flimsy, poisonous grasses would not sustain any such life. You've read Cormac McCarthey's The Road. You know where this beef comes from.

A roaring fire in back brings an unpleasantly familiar smell.

"With extra curly fries. Hold the soda."

Bright Bart

False. There is only one electron and it has never stopped
Arby's - Yeah I Could Eat Some Meats

Bright Bart

False. There is only one electron and it has never stopped
The roast beef crop failed this year, so Arby's will be closed until further notice. We ask our loyal customers to support Proposition 19, which would require forestry firms to plant a roast beef tree for every one they cut down.

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