National Service Thread - I bent knees to morons and felt ill for 11 months

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Internet VFW > National Service Thread - I bent knees to morons and felt ill for 11 months

aphid_licker: Jan 7, 2009

They were out of a bunch of clothes and poo poo when I got there, the guys training us didn't seem to know too much stuff themselves and it was all super perfunctory, but lots of wanky pseudo Full Metal Jacket dude style yelling, barracks were a dump, after basic they had no real work for me but if you told them that they'd make you sweep the parking lot in a snowstorm or something, lot of time spent polishing boots, I learned the Horst-Wessel-Lied off a guy who used "jew" as a pejorative, served in a barracks named after a nazi general, food really bad, it was super dumb, 2.5/10 would not recommend.

German national service in the remfiest of remf units, 9 months 2001/2

# ¿ Feb 27, 2021 19:38

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# ¿ May 15, 2024 03:23

aphid_licker: Jan 7, 2009

Valtonen posted:

Finnish tank conscripts have a ceremony of �handing down the traditions� which I will briefly explain: the older conscript class about to reserve out (all tankers independent of rank serve 12 months, a unique branch for regular FDF) makes a formation. The younger class makes a formation facing them. Background is usually the Stug 40 of our most famous tank ace, b�rje brotell. (12-15 kills with a stug, including IS2s) That is sitting right outside the h�me panssaribattalion front door. Then the older class head honcho hands a closed scroll that contains �traditions� ( propably a drawing of a dick) to the equivalent of the younger class. Instructors call that traditions have been passed. Ceremony ends.

I fuckin love this :lol:

# ¿ Mar 1, 2021 20:03

aphid_licker: Jan 7, 2009

madeintaipei posted:

Holy Hell, one of the pre-order bonuses is a 12-pack of cheap beer.

A story from my father's conscription in the Heer:

95% of the soldiers at the base where his unit was stationed went home at night, or at least on the weekend. If you didn't, it stood out. Enter Hans. Hans was from a village five hours away; no friends, no family. While he seemed content to live in the barracks and eat at the enlisted canteen, he was obviously drinking far more than the enlisted canteen would sell him. Que my father's superior asking him to find Hans to drive an M113 down the road, with my father as a ground guide. Dad found him alright. Totally drunk at 1000.

"Hey, I can't do that."
"WHAT?! It was an order. Why not?"
"Have you seen him today? I'm not walking in front of the track if he's driving."
"Where is he?"
Twenty minutes later...
Herr Hauptmann is ground guide and has to physically stop Hans from driving.
"Ah. You did tell me, didn't you? Can you drive the vehicle?"
"I can drive the Illtis and the van."
"Fine!"
Whereupon the M113 sat right there, blocking traffic, for the rest of the day.

I gather drunkenness in the Bundeswehr only got worse until conscription ended.

Fridays were amazing. There were special notes on the departure board at the train station "Besonders geeignet f�r Familienheimfahrten der Bundeswehr" next to the trains that you could use with your conscript ticket so that normies could avoid the carnage. Jam-packed with drunk young males chugging beers, listening to boomboxes and generally being nuisances sitting on their sea bags in the aisles. Sort of a Reply of the Zaporozhian Cossacks ambiance, minus any actual letters being written.

aphid_licker fucked around with this message at 11:17 on Apr 20, 2021

# ¿ Apr 20, 2021 11:13

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Internet VFW > National Service Thread - I bent knees to morons and felt ill for 11 months