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waxing my improbably large moustache before ambling up to the bar and ordering a sarsparilla and then shooting my pistol into the ceiling when someone cheats at cards |
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Feb 28, 2021 03:35
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| # ¿ May 16, 2024 09:30 |
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nervously pinning my shiny new sheriff's badge to my shirt knowing the last 4 sheriffs were shot by cattle rustlers. think I'll head down to madam sherri's place and see if Darla is workin. I could use some whisky but that drat bartender was watering down drinks the last few weeks and everyone complained about it but they're still giving him their money. We'll see how he changes his tune once I introduce him to my old pals Smith and Wesson |
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Feb 28, 2021 19:29
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Bright Bart posted:Having trouble deciding if this is high-stakes, low-stakes, or high-stakes over something erstwhile low-stakes. It's messing with me. Clem is the stubborn sort. He spit terbaccy on my boots the last time I had a word with him about his shady business practices, and he and i have had more than a few tussles over the years. we're old pals but he don't take kindly to folks tellin him what to do. his manners seem to improve a bit when confronted with a feller wearing a tin star and a couple pounds of iron on his hip. he's a good fella, just a bit of an rear end in a top hat. I gotta be gettin' on down the trail. Shaky Joe is complaining that old man Jameson has been grazing his cattle on his land again. I've told that old coot a dozen times not to cross those fences but he ain't been quite right since he got back from Antietam. |
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Feb 28, 2021 21:42
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*is jolly rotund man who works at the general store* Well Clara I must apologize. The warehouse in Topeka takes about 2 weeks to restock us. If you really need another bottle of Dr. Klein's magical nerve tonic you can see if old widow hammersmith will part with one of hers. She buys a case drat near every week. Lord knows what fer, poor Jim's been dead pert near 30 years at this point. Well that's none of my business. Anyhow your total this week comes to 14 cents. You can send Bill around early this evening to pick up his hair jelly and those beaver traps y'all ordered a few weeks back. I think the missus is baking pies today so there's a good chance Bill will be coming home with a treat for the little ones. You run along now I have to go see why I come up short half a barrel of turnips last month. It's either that drat fool Nathan I got working for me on the weekend, or those galldurned moles got back into the root cellar. |
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Mar 1, 2021 01:00
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It's been a rough couple weeks not gonna lie to ya. Little Joe caught cholera and he's been in the outhouse most of the time for the last few days. I've been making GBS threads in a spittoon. Meemaw got stung by a scorpion, and my neighbor Red got kicked in the head by his old mare Goldilocks. He's gonna be okay I think, but he's been acting a little funny. Doc said all he needs to do is rub sheep manure on the lump on his head for a few days and he'll be right as rain, but the stink is starting to get to his wife. |
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Mar 2, 2021 16:22
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dropped my pistol into the shitter hole trying to undo the rear end flap on my pajamas. last time I went to the shitter without my gun I got rabies from the family of raccoons that live in there. Now they're armed. poo poo. |
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Mar 3, 2021 15:53
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PHIZ KALIFA posted:gramps these antics are mighty high stakes indeed naw i've had rabies like 10 times, and coons can't shoot for poo poo. meemaw is a bigger threat, especially if I'm late for supper |
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Mar 3, 2021 22:26
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I was showing missy mae how I can twirl my pistols and i fell in the horse trough |
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Mar 6, 2021 05:45
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| # ¿ May 16, 2024 09:30 |
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grabbed the wrong bandana before I robbed the stagecoach now there's a 500 dollar bounty out for the booger bandit |
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Mar 6, 2021 18:36
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