CAnon Anonymous: Congratulations you are now cornpilled.

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Hammer House: Stinger Splash Zone > CAnon Anonymous: Congratulations you are now cornpilled.

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Davros1: Jul 19, 2007; You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible

https://twitter.com/ToBeMiro/status/1370834741520343040?s=20

# ¿ Mar 13, 2021 21:43

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# ¿ May 11, 2024 14:40

Davros1: Jul 19, 2007; You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible

Remember, Cornette booked Haas and Benjamin beating The Briscoe Brothers using the old 80s gimmick of an "ether" soaked rag. ROH fans poo poo all over it.

# ¿ Mar 17, 2021 00:26

Davros1: Jul 19, 2007; You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible

Noticed Cornette has a bunch of WWE documentary DVDs; do you think he watches them just so he can get upset?

# ¿ Mar 17, 2021 21:11

Davros1: Jul 19, 2007; You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible

That's because it "worked" before for teams like The Fabulous Ones, The Rock-N-Roll Express, and The Fantastics, and Jim's mind can't comprehend that it wasn't the 80s anymore, and that stuff was now lame

# ¿ Mar 19, 2021 17:52

Davros1: Jul 19, 2007; You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible

Duke Pukem posted:

The nazi gimmicked Baron von Raschke used to go for an iron claw and when his opponent ducked he would apply it to the turnbuckle and he had trouble releasing it. Somehow this is realistic to corny

When he turned face, he would still goose step around the ring, only this time to the cheers of the crowd :psyduck:

# ¿ Apr 20, 2021 13:42

Davros1: Jul 19, 2007; You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible

https://twitter.com/MATTHARDYBRAND/status/1389222599893209091?s=20

# ¿ May 3, 2021 15:44

Davros1: Jul 19, 2007; You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible

Edge & Christian posted:

Even putting his actual accomplishments aside, this is the guy who kept hollering FUNNY DON'T DRAW MONEY as if it was an absolute conversation ender when he was booking ROH and making GBS threads all over Colt Cabana and others.

For him to turn around to "well you can't put MONEY ahead of your passion and values and honor, some things are just more important" is a bit of a 180.

Funny don't draw money, but the likes of Mike Mondo and The Headbangers do?

# ¿ May 3, 2021 23:47

Davros1: Jul 19, 2007; You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible

cagliostr0 posted:

HRM yes a convicted felon who almost killed David Arquette in front of a live audience, this is somebody I can get heat on for a program. You would think with the amount cornette complains about everything being fake now he would love somebody living their gimmick.

Yes, but Gage does "Garbage" wrestling, so it doesn't count.

# ¿ May 24, 2021 00:41

Davros1: Jul 19, 2007; You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible

I love that the man who can't commit to admit whether or not Grizzy Smith was a pedophile has not problem lobbing those accusations at Kenny Omega.

# ¿ Jun 7, 2021 03:00

Davros1: Jul 19, 2007; You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible

https://twitter.com/TheJimCornette/status/1413589654318813186?s=20

# ¿ Jul 9, 2021 21:28

Davros1: Jul 19, 2007; You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible

Probably eats him up that AEW got what he considers "Real Heat"*

*because Cornette is always boasting how about crowds hated the wrestlers back in the day so much that they'd jump the rails.

# ¿ Jul 10, 2021 02:27

Davros1: Jul 19, 2007; You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible

sba posted:

can someone sum up for me why Jim hates AEW/Omega/etc?? I've never heard the backstory of it

Kenny once wrestled a 9 nine year old girl, therefore destroying the wrestling business forever

# ¿ Jul 12, 2021 18:59

Davros1: Jul 19, 2007; You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible

I'm sure it pisses him off that the Bucks don't wrestle matches like The Rock-N-Roll Express, where Matt gets the poo poo kicked out of him for ten minutes before making a hot tag to Nick, and instead wrestle matches where they go toe-to-toe with their opponents.

# ¿ Jul 13, 2021 14:51

Davros1: Jul 19, 2007; You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible

Lamuella posted:

What always gets me about the "[unrealistic thing] is killing the business" argument is that uh...

That's what get me; Cornette doesn't even realize his whole role as manager requires an insane amount of disbelief. Like, can you imagine any other sport allowing a team/competitor to interfere in a contest, and there's no reprisals for it? Like the league wouldn't fine him? Suspend him? Fire him for interfering? The whole "The Ref decision is final" wouldn't be thrown out if it was shown someone was cheating? Like if Mike Tyson won all his fights because Don King kept throwing powder into his opponent's eyes, the boxing commission would throw up their hands and say "Welp, nothing we can do! Ref didn't see it."

# ¿ Jul 13, 2021 16:42

Davros1: Jul 19, 2007; You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible

Bruiser Bedlam had been in and out of jails when Cornette hired him.

# ¿ Jul 22, 2021 18:18

Davros1: Jul 19, 2007; You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible

Goalpost Situation: MOVED.

https://twitter.com/rfcefc23/status/1418309728703238146?s=20

Several people brought up Jim booking criminal Bruiser Bedlam, and now it's "Well, Gage isn't a wrestler."

# ¿ Jul 22, 2021 21:41

Davros1: Jul 19, 2007; You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible

https://twitter.com/JESnowden/status/1420983870657384448?s=20

Heh

# ¿ Jul 31, 2021 00:44

Davros1: Jul 19, 2007; You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible

Dawgstar posted:

"WHO HAS TEN MAN TAG MATCHES IN THE OPENING MATCH?" Gee, Jim. That's not much more than six man tags which a certain company had a championship belt for.

I don't know Jim, a company trying to sell a PPV by showcasing ten of their top talents?

# ¿ Sep 8, 2021 03:57

Davros1: Jul 19, 2007; You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible

Zombie Lemur posted:

I was bored at work so I decided to bite the bullet and listen to their take on Owen.

Last and Cornette were both overwhelmingly positive about all of it. Cornette went as far as to say that it's not just young guys wanting to go to AEW but also legends because they can get paid and maybe do some commentary instead of getting insulted and treated like poo poo.

They called out the people complaining about WWE not getting to do the tribute and said it definitely wasn't their audience because they're reasonable. (Lol)

I'm going to laugh if he loses listeners for this.

I caught him saying (re: Owen Cup), that'll be good as long as they don't have like Orange Cassidy win it, and all I could think was Owen would've LOVED working with OC. I bet he would've gotten such a big kick out of doing goofy stuff with him.

# ¿ Sep 25, 2021 06:07

Davros1: Jul 19, 2007; You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible

https://twitter.com/GreatBrianLast/status/1442148778266480644?s=20

# ¿ Sep 26, 2021 16:39

Davros1: Jul 19, 2007; You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible

People also keep sending him Danhausen cameos, and shockingly, Cornette actually likes Danhausen (though he's said he'll never watch one of matches so it doesn't change his perception of him)

# ¿ Sep 27, 2021 19:23

Davros1: Jul 19, 2007; You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible

The Immobile Hulk Hogan in AEW would consist of him demanding programs with Wardlow and Powerhouse Hobbs (where he'd have to go over, because it's what the Hulkamanics would want), and a storyline where he mentors Luchasaurus, who reveals himself to have been a young Hulkamaniac, and needs the guidance of Hulk Hogan to reach his true potential.

# ¿ Sep 27, 2021 20:14

Davros1: Jul 19, 2007; You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible

Vandar posted:

It still makes me shake my head when I remember that he had his dream job in the NWA and he just couldn't stop being a Corncob long enough to apologize and keep it.

Him using the same lines he was using thirty-five years. Even if you put aside the racism (WHICH YOU ABSOLUTELY SHOULDN'T), it's like, get some new material grandpa. Paul Heyman ain't doing the same poo poo he did in the AWA in '87.

Reminds of a story the The Sklar Brothers told about working a comedy show that had Andrew Dice Clay on it. Clay said something to the effect "If I had done any of my old material, these guys wouldn't have been able to follow me," and the Sklars pointed that in his set he literally did a bit about hating call waiting.

# ¿ Sep 27, 2021 22:13

Davros1: Jul 19, 2007; You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible

Malcolm Excellent posted:

"They say All men are created equal, but you Look at Hook, and you look at Alex Marvez and you know that's not true."

Poppa Pump - December, 2021

I see no lie.

# ¿ Sep 28, 2021 15:32

Davros1: Jul 19, 2007; You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible

Puppy Doll posted:

...I just realized I forgot to change the sickos dialogue.

dsriggs posted:

e: beaten like a gubbermint mule!

I salute the both of you.

# ¿ Oct 4, 2021 05:07

Davros1: Jul 19, 2007; You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible

Q7kid posted:

Remember, a wrestling Ninja Turtle isn't exposing the business as long as Cornette is the opponent.

Remember, Tony Khan is just a money mark*

*Not to be confused with money mark Rick Rubin, who funded Smokey Mountain.

# ¿ Oct 6, 2021 00:01

Davros1: Jul 19, 2007; You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible

Mulaney Power Move posted:

look, he wasn't pretending to wrestle a ninja turtle, he was wrestling a guy dressed up as a ninja turtle. that's what it was presented as. there's a difference.

Just don't ask Cornette about the mummy

# ¿ Oct 6, 2021 00:57

Davros1: Jul 19, 2007; You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible

bebaloorpabopalo posted:

Cornette and his girlfriend booked and filmed and aired on television Batista being summoned by magic ceremony out of the water to wrestle as a swamp monster

And it wasn't even original! He was ripping off Kevin Sullivan in Florida with the Purple Haze!

# ¿ Oct 6, 2021 03:09

Davros1: Jul 19, 2007; You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible

Cornette (regarding a disgusting transphobic sign): "People are too sensitive these days!"
Also Cornette: (someone has a sign supporting a heel in SMW): "We're editing that out of TV!"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JvSyYLRBhtY&t=122s

# ¿ Dec 27, 2021 01:17

Davros1: Jul 19, 2007; You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible

Orange Carlisle posted:

Bully Ray should apologize daily for continuing to exist

But think of the HHHEEEEEAAAATTTT if he doesn't!

# ¿ Jan 20, 2022 23:50

Davros1: Jul 19, 2007; You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible

TV Zombie posted:

Does Jim hate all Asian wrestling because I would have thought that old ajpw would have been up his alley

Do all the wrestlers have either karate or "mystical Asians" gimmicks?

# ¿ Apr 15, 2022 17:10

Davros1: Jul 19, 2007; You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible

Jim thinks every tag match has to be book like this:

1) Faces start off strong
2) Heels cheat to get advantage
3) Heels beat down face; lots of missed face tags
4) Face finally gets hot tag
5) Decide if faces win, or heels cheat to win.

Any match that differs from said formula doesn't have psychology.

# ¿ Apr 15, 2022 17:53

Davros1: Jul 19, 2007; You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible

beggar posted:

I assume those are the spot monkeys but I am here for Cornys longing stare for those burgs

Nah, that's a disgusted look, because Dave is eating McDonald's, and not an upscale chain like Wendy's.

# ¿ Jun 7, 2022 16:02

Davros1: Jul 19, 2007; You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible

And Cornette would've agreed 100% with the decision not to air a tribute if it had been someone he hated who died

# ¿ Jan 21, 2023 18:11

Davros1: Jul 19, 2007; You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible

Majinfoose posted:

I'd love for Corny's corny serious booking to be treated like a comedy.

Just watch SMW

He had a championship that would be vacated if the champion made five successful defenses.

He called it the "Beat The Champion" TV Title.

That's like calling the Super Bowl/World Series/Stanley Cup/etc. the "Most Points is the Winner" Championship

# ¿ Jan 25, 2023 11:53

Davros1: Jul 19, 2007; You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible

bartok posted:

I could see it working if you got a world title shot after 5 defenses. I assume that wasn't the case.

They were awarded "money" for every successful defense: $1,000 for the first four, then $5,000 for defense number 5, at which point the belt would be vacated.

# ¿ Jan 25, 2023 21:42

Davros1: Jul 19, 2007; You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible

Oh, forgot to mention the best thing about the SMW "Beat the Champ" Television Title: there was no physical representation of the title. No belt, no medal, no trophy. It was literally just words.

# ¿ Jan 26, 2023 09:58

Davros1: Jul 19, 2007; You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible

Kvlt! posted:

did he ever have a kayfabe explanation for bringing a tennis racket (literally the stupidest weapon/prop of all time) to the ring

I also remember an ep of NWA where some faces got a hold of it and tore off the cover, and revealed that Cornette had taped things like a horseshoe to the racket so it would be effective as a weapon.

# ¿ Jan 27, 2023 09:43

Davros1: Jul 19, 2007; You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible

Cornette, the guy with a restraining order filed against him because he threatened to shoot Russo, saying "Just block them."

What an rear end

# ¿ Mar 14, 2023 17:17

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# ¿ May 11, 2024 14:40

Davros1: Jul 19, 2007; You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible

Yes.

And Vince Russo has a restraining order against Cornette

Couple o' real tough guys

# ¿ Sep 4, 2023 06:03

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Hammer House: Stinger Splash Zone > CAnon Anonymous: Congratulations you are now cornpilled.

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