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Every moment I stay here I grow weaker, every minute the Oompa Loompa squats in the jungle he grows stronger. Wonka developed a military ration that's a whole three course meal and desert all in one, perfect for maintaining stamina under extreme survival conditions and the whole thing's no bigger than a plain ol' stick of gum. |
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Mar 14, 2021 20:21
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| # ¿ May 22, 2024 03:40 |
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VHS tape inserts into player. Grainy footage of ex captive undergoing debriefing. "Were you mistreated by your captors?" "I think I was tied up, I had a blindfold over my eyes and they stuck, I think it was a chocolate gun in my mouth" "What sort of questions did they ask" "He told me 'count to three, make a wish'" "Was that all?" "He told me to 'imagine paradise', I'm sorry this too distressing... I..." [fingers to cut the recording] Recording ends. |
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Mar 14, 2021 22:37
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The Butcher of Dusselheim |
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Mar 15, 2021 09:56
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Augustus Gloop is still at LARGE "Don't worry, he can't eat them all" - Grandpa Joe, tempting fate |
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Mar 15, 2021 17:49
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Loompa Leader: "Do you have any last words?" Resistance Member: "You judgemental little orange bastards. It's the addictive candy products that your factory produces that are the CAUSE of childhood obesity, why don't you make a song about that?" Loompa Leader: "I've had enough of your lies!!! Activate the Taffy pulling machine" |
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Mar 17, 2021 11:45
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There were some dark moments but also moments of real heroism, such as the daring and highly succesfull guerilla raids lead by Sammy Davis Jr, better known by his war time code name The Candy Man. |
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Mar 17, 2021 16:44
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The Wonkanauts assault on the Moon base was particularly harrowing. |
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Mar 20, 2021 12:53
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| # ¿ May 22, 2024 03:40 |
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Agent Snozberry, quote, "smells like balls". |
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Mar 20, 2021 22:32
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