Altitude sickness is not real! (Bioshock Infinite)

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > Let's Play! > Altitude sickness is not real! (Bioshock Infinite)

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SelenicMartian: Sep 14, 2013; Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.

Some days you just wake up in a boat, get a gun which you immediately drop so it serves no plot purpose, take the most budget airline ever to a city made of water, and proceed to drink and eat everything in sight.

Also, all is a blur because the game you're in has been compressed to the size of a God of War disc image. The PS2 God of War.

Burial at Sea Part I

Burial at Sea Part II

SelenicMartian fucked around with this message at 15:05 on Nov 5, 2021

# ? Mar 15, 2021 19:01

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# ? May 5, 2024 00:03

Judge Tesla: Oct 29, 2011

Oh Bioshock Infinite, you promised so much and delivered a poorly stitched together game in return, it's the only one of the 3 Bioshock's where I just don't pay attention to the horrible story.

# ? Mar 15, 2021 19:40

inscrutable horse: May 20, 2010; Parsing sage, rotating time

So why not start a running tally of calories consumed by one gourmand, Monsieur DeWitt:

code:

* 2 cans of beans  		 439 calories
* 1 jar of pickles  		 106 calories
* 1 box of cereal  		1833 calories
* 1 pear  			 101 calories
______________________________________
Sub-total			2918 calories
Total				2918 calories

# ? Mar 15, 2021 20:41

SelenicMartian: Sep 14, 2013; Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.

inscrutable horse posted:

So why not start a running tally of calories consumed by one gourmand, Monsieur DeWitt:

code:

* 2 cans of beans  		 439 calories
* 1 jar of pickles  		 106 calories
* 1 box of cereal  		1833 calories
* 1 pear  			 101 calories
______________________________________
Sub-total			2918 calories
Total				2918 calories

This count will end in tears

knife included

# ? Mar 15, 2021 20:56

Fedule: Mar 27, 2010; No one left uncured.
I got you.

Counting consumed calories in B:I seems as terrible an idea as counting the protagonist's crimes and sentences in Sleeping Dogs, so I'm all for it.

Why do so many cops carry entire pineapples though? For that matter, why do so many chocolate boxes also contain pineapples?

# ? Mar 15, 2021 21:06

Space Kablooey: May 6, 2009

inscrutable horse posted:

So why not start a running tally of calories consumed by one gourmand, Monsieur DeWitt:

code:

* 2 cans of beans  		 439 calories
* 1 jar of pickles  		 106 calories
* 1 box of cereal  		1833 calories
* 1 pear  			 101 calories
______________________________________
Sub-total			2918 calories
Total				2918 calories

I'm all for this.

# ? Mar 15, 2021 22:15

marshmallow creep: Dec 10, 2008; I've been sitting here for 5 mins trying to think of a joke to make but I just realised the animators of Mass Effect already did it for me

Space Kablooey posted:

I'm all for this.

For a person Booker's height, age and approximate weight, and if we describe his normal exercise level as "active," he is already in excess of his daily calories to maintain weight (2740). If we bump things up to Extra Active, he is just 400 calories shy.

Also wow they really made this look like mud on the PS3, huh?

# ? Mar 15, 2021 22:57

inscrutable horse: May 20, 2010; Parsing sage, rotating time

marshmallow creep posted:

If we bump things up to Extra Active, he is just 400 calories shy.

My caloric content estimation is probably a bit generous. For the sake of simplicity (and my own sanity) I just took the first reasonable google result; for the cereal it was a moden halfish kilo package of Fruit Loops. Though cereals are high in carbohydrates, I doubt a WW1 era package of corn flakes would be as loaded with sugar as current ones are. Still, Booker is certain to develop a multitude of lifestyle related illnesses throughout the LP

# ? Mar 16, 2021 00:06

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

I got a big laugh when you brought up speed calculations the instant I picked up my phone to time how long it took to fly up to 10,000 feet...I'm curious how insane that acceleration would be, but sadly I'm too far from calc classes and too mentally exhausted to figure that out only knowing the average velocity rather than the final value :eng99:

# ? Mar 16, 2021 00:40

Nuramor: Dec 13, 2012; Most Amewsing Prinny Ever!

I'm mostly concerned with how Booker managed to turn his head 360 degrees while strapped down to a chair, and then seemed to stand up to look out the window and keep that position during the ascend. Those would be some strong legs.

# ? Mar 16, 2021 10:32

DMorbid: Jan 6, 2011; With our special guest star, RUSH! YAYYYYYYYYY

marshmallow creep posted:

Also wow they really made this look like mud on the PS3, huh?

That was just late-gen PS3/360 AAA games in general. There were some games that looked fine and ran decently enough, but a lot of the time you had sub-720p resolutions with blurry post-processing AA, awful frame rates and screen tearing aplenty because the hardware just couldn't handle these games properly at that point.

# ? Mar 16, 2021 11:04

Samovar: Jun 4, 2011; I'm 😤 not a 🦸🏻‍♂️hero...🧜🏻

Oh, Bioshock Infinite. One of the most glaring modern examples of how... Huh. I find it hard to verbalize exactly my disgust with the story. But it is... A very, very bad story.

# ? Mar 16, 2021 13:12

Whybird: Aug 2, 2009; Phaiston have long avoided the tightly competetive defence sector, but the IRDA Act 2052 has given us the freedom we need to bring out something really special.

https://team-robostar.itch.io/robostar; Nap Ghost

Samovar posted:

Oh, Bioshock Infinite. One of the most glaring modern examples of how... Huh. I find it hard to verbalize exactly my disgust with the story. But it is... A very, very bad story.

It's a story that has pretensions at being literary and engaging with Themes, engages with them in the shallowest possible way (turns out racism exists, and is bad!) and then decides that even that piss-puddle shallow engagement with them is too much and dials back to both-sidesing (turns out that also objecting to racism is bad!) before deciding that actually they're less important than whether or not some white guy can rescue a magic anime girl from a steampunk wizard anyway.

# ? Mar 16, 2021 13:52

Solitair: Feb 18, 2014; TODAY'S GONNA BE A GOOD MOTHERFUCKIN' DAY!!!

Are the people who defended this game in Bobbin Threadbare's LP thread gonna show up here, or has B:I failed the test of time that badly?

# ? Mar 16, 2021 19:24

Maigius: Jun 29, 2013

It's a minor thing, but the entrance church especially the pews must be moldy from all the standing water.

# ? Mar 16, 2021 19:34

Cythereal: Nov 8, 2009; I love the potoo,
and the potoo loves you.

All I know about this game is that it supposedly tried to deconstruct American exceptionalism and fell flat on its face.

And that propaganda for the villains was taken seriously and unironically supported by right-wing nutjobs on social media.

# ? Mar 16, 2021 20:06

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

I only have vague memories of watching an LP years ago, but I do remember it having a pretty fantastic soundtrack, which has held true so far. Hopefully that part's still good even if it's a stinker in other ways.

# ? Mar 16, 2021 20:11

Akratic Method: Mar 9, 2013; It's going to pay off eventually--I'm sure of it.

Any day now.

Cythereal posted:

All I know about this game is that it supposedly tried to deconstruct American exceptionalism and fell flat on its face.

And that propaganda for the villains was taken seriously and unironically supported by right-wing nutjobs on social media.

"uh, we accidentally just regular-type constructed it, instead of deconstructing it"

# ? Mar 16, 2021 23:43

Fedule: Mar 27, 2010; No one left uncured.
I got you.

There are aspects of this game that I like and will defend. It plays pretty niftily in a lot of ways. It has a horde mode DLC that I loved. The story is dumb as poo poo but the game plays exactly as entertainingly as a story that dumb should. I'll also always love the Lutece's chatter even though it's all in the service of that dumb poo poo plot - as it would have had to have had been.

# ? Mar 17, 2021 00:07

Alien Arcana: Feb 14, 2012; You're related to soup, Admiral.

Fedule posted:

There are aspects of this game that I like and will defend. It plays pretty niftily in a lot of ways. It has a horde mode DLC that I loved. The story is dumb as poo poo but the game plays exactly as entertainingly as a story that dumb should. I'll also always love the Lutece's chatter even though it's all in the service of that dumb poo poo plot - as it would have had to have had been.

Yeah, I think if you can avoid thinking too much about the story, the game itself is just fine. The gameplay is a bit simplified compared to the earlier games, but it gives you room to experiment and develop a preferred style, and you feel like a real badass once you get the hang of things. The visuals are quite pretty, and there's a few set-pieces which are done really well (the first encounter with Songbird in particular). It just... takes itself way too seriously.

# ? Mar 17, 2021 00:44

marshmallow creep: Dec 10, 2008; I've been sitting here for 5 mins trying to think of a joke to make but I just realised the animators of Mass Effect already did it for me

Pretty much. I enjoyed shooting poo poo in this game. I loved the guns. And the first time I went through the game I was really too confused to realize how bad the story got, and it wasn't until later that I realized "Oh poo poo, that wasn't just bad, it was problematic."

# ? Mar 17, 2021 01:44

sb hermit: Dec 13, 2016

I played Bioshock Infinite (the 360 version) on my xbox one during the pandemic and it was pretty good. The story was bad, but (like a car chase on tv) I couldn't help but see it to the end. The music was great, with maybe only one track that I didn't like. If Bioshock I and II stood the test of time (and I think they have), then Infinite should be up there with them.

# ? Mar 17, 2021 07:02

sebmojo: Oct 23, 2010; Legit Cyberpunk

Whybird posted:

It's a story that has pretensions at being literary and engaging with Themes, engages with them in the shallowest possible way (turns out racism exists, and is bad!) and then decides that even that piss-puddle shallow engagement with them is too much and dials back to both-sidesing (turns out that also objecting to racism is bad!) before deciding that actually they're less important than whether or not some white guy can rescue a magic anime girl from a steampunk wizard anyway.

I thought it did have a fairly clear and straightforward point, which is that america is hosed in the bones because of its original sin of slavery and all the fancy flying cities it achieve mean nothing unless that's addressed. Racism is evil, people will do evil to fight it, more evil will be done in response, but they're all beholden to original choices made back at its foundation.

In the game you can just go back and get drownded via time travel quantum nonsense, in the absence of a working time machine it's a bit of ? what the game is suggesting should be done but asking a video to Fix Racism may be a little beyond the brief.

i mean daisy ridley did nothing wrong, you know? she's a revolutionary. Revolutions kill people. she'd be viewed as boringly mainstream by 2021 CSPAM. And it's a defensible position to say that things she feels obligated to do to change the terrible racist status quo are as much if not more the responsibility of the status quo than of her.

sebmojo fucked around with this message at 01:40 on Mar 18, 2021

# ? Mar 18, 2021 01:36

sebmojo: Oct 23, 2010; Legit Cyberpunk

that's with the caveat that I played it when it came out and going on memory, could be I'm being too kind: i do think it gets caricatured more than it deserves, it had a point even if it wasn't necessarily that good in putting it across.

# ? Mar 18, 2021 01:38

Space Kablooey: May 6, 2009

sebmojo posted:

i mean daisy ridley did nothing wrong, you know?

I mean I think she did an okay job as Rey but I don't think she was revolutionary or anything

# ? Mar 18, 2021 04:23

Deadmeat5150: Nov 21, 2005; OLD MAN YELLS AT CLAN

Fedule posted:

Counting consumed calories in B:I seems as terrible an idea as counting the protagonist's crimes and sentences in Sleeping Dogs, so I'm all for it.

Why do so many cops carry entire pineapples though? For that matter, why do so many chocolate boxes also contain pineapples?

They're big fans of hit detective TV show Psych.

# ? Mar 18, 2021 04:32

Hannibal Rex: Feb 13, 2010

I'm betraying my age here, but Ken Levine is the Chris Carter of videogames.

# ? Mar 20, 2021 01:47

Nissin Cup Nudist: Sep 3, 2011; Sleep with one eye open

We're off to Gritty Gritty land

Hannibal Rex posted:

I'm betraying my age here, but Ken Levine is the Chris Carter of videogames.

I have no idea who this is

# ? Mar 21, 2021 01:04

marshmallow creep: Dec 10, 2008; I've been sitting here for 5 mins trying to think of a joke to make but I just realised the animators of Mass Effect already did it for me

I believe they mean Chris Carter, creator of the X-Files and Millenium.

# ? Mar 21, 2021 01:11

Kangra: May 7, 2012

Hey, don't forget The Lone Gunmen!

Though to be fair, Ken Levine deserves some of the credit for Thief and System Shock 2 as well, so he had a bit more of a back catalog of success than Carter did.

# ? Mar 21, 2021 05:42

Teledahn: May 14, 2009; What is that bear doing there?

This ridiculous entrance tower / waterslide / religious-sewer at six kilometres above sea-level is absurd. Water and stone are heavy. This single zone probably represents several thousands tons to greet the occasional visitor. We immediately know this location is populated by the insane.

# ? Mar 21, 2021 09:34

SelenicMartian: Sep 14, 2013; Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.

We're eating, looting, and pillaging all the way.

# ? Mar 22, 2021 14:50

inscrutable horse: May 20, 2010; Parsing sage, rotating time

And the Great Work continues:

code:

* 1 pear  			  101 calories
* 6 apples			  570 calories
* 2 bananas			  210 calories
* 3 bags of potato chips	 1593 calories
* 6 bottles of soda (33 cl)	  834 calories
* 4 bags of popcorn		 1680 calories
* 2 hotdogs			  632 calories
* 1 loaf of bread		 1278 calories
* 1 cotton candy		  102 calories
* 1 chocolate cake		 3392 calories
* 1 bottle of "red"wine		  625 calories
* 1 flask of "bourbon"		  582 calories
* 2 bags of peanuts		 1360 calories
* 1 tin of sardines		  191 calories
* 2 5kg WHEELS of cheese	41600 calories
* 1 flask of coffee		    5 calories
______________________________________
Sub-total			54755 calories
Episode 1 total			 2918 calories
Total				57673 calories

I think it's safe to say, that Booker has exceeded his daily requirements at this point.

inscrutable horse fucked around with this message at 17:58 on Mar 22, 2021

# ? Mar 22, 2021 16:35

marshmallow creep: Dec 10, 2008; I've been sitting here for 5 mins trying to think of a joke to make but I just realised the animators of Mass Effect already did it for me

As soon as I saw the wheel of cheese I was like "god drat."

Perhaps Booker isn't teleporting back onto Columbia when he jumps off the edge, but is levitating back from the thrust of his enormous cheese-farts. It's just so painful he closes his eyes when he lets one rip so we don't see the transition.

# ? Mar 22, 2021 17:29

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

inscrutable horse posted:

code:

* 1 pear  			  101 calories
* 6 apples			  570 calories
* 2 bananas			  210 calories
* 3 bags of potato chips	 1593 calories
* 6 bottles of soda (33 cl)	  834 calories
* 4 bags of popcorn		 1680 calories
* 2 hotdogs			  632 calories
* 1 loaf of bread		 1278 calories
* 1 cotton candy		  102 calories
* 1 chocolate cake		 3392 calories
* 1 bottle of "red"wine		  625 calories
* 1 flask of "bourbon"		  582 calories
* 2 bags of peanuts		 1360 calories
* 1 tin of sardines		  191 calories
* 2 5kg WHEELS of cheese	41600 calories
* 1 flask of coffee		    5 calories
______________________________________
Sub-total			54755 calories
Episode 1 total			 2918 calories
Total				57673 calories

I've repeatedly asked you to stop documenting my quarantine diet

# ? Mar 23, 2021 02:21

sb hermit: Dec 13, 2016

Assuming that knives have no caloric value, I wonder if they have other nutritional value like ... iron? Although maybe iron needs to be in a water soluble form in order to be useful.

Or maybe the knives just get discarded behind him like so much trash

# ? Mar 23, 2021 04:06

Akratic Method: Mar 9, 2013; It's going to pay off eventually--I'm sure of it.

Any day now.

sb hermit posted:

Assuming that knives have no caloric value, I wonder if they have other nutritional value like ... iron? Although maybe iron needs to be in a water soluble form in order to be useful.

Or maybe the knives just get discarded behind him like so much trash

Best to not start down that road or we'll have to figure out how he digests liquor bottles and hot dog wrappers.

# ? Mar 23, 2021 04:18

marshmallow creep: Dec 10, 2008; I've been sitting here for 5 mins trying to think of a joke to make but I just realised the animators of Mass Effect already did it for me

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VjXOwUnJzA0

# ? Mar 24, 2021 01:51

SelenicMartian: Sep 14, 2013; Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.

Racism set piece #1: check

# ? Mar 29, 2021 15:44

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# ? May 5, 2024 00:03

Akratic Method: Mar 9, 2013; It's going to pay off eventually--I'm sure of it.

Any day now.

Well that�s a hell of a screen cap.

# ? Mar 29, 2021 16:05

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > Let's Play! > Altitude sickness is not real! (Bioshock Infinite)

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