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Kaiser Schnitzel

Schnitzel mit uns


cruft posted:

It depends, op, how much do you think Americans drink coffee and have sex?

Please express your answer in units of gently caress-liters per second (fl/s).
I think you mean gently caress-gallons per minute :colbert: :911:


https://i.imgur.com/R8ctked.mp4
ty Manifisto for this wonderful sig!


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Gramps


need a coffee recommendation for dudes who like to make their wife cum real hard kthx

Queen-Of-Hearts

"I want to break your heart💔 and give you mine🫀"




Triple shot latte with a shot of he goes and gets it for me

Randy Travesty

PHANTOM QUEEN


I spilled coffee all over my crotch and now I'm irresistible to men.

nut

Teddy Thunders posted:

I spilled coffee all over my crotch and now I'm irresistible to men.

same but they're all EMTs

Finger Prince


nut posted:

same but they're all EMTs

Emergency Male Toyboys

Buttchocks

No, I like my hat, thanks.
Where do babies come from? Well, uh, one night mommy and daddy brewed you just like a cup of coffee.

Finger Prince


Buttchocks posted:

Where do babies come from? Well, uh, one night mommy and daddy brewed you just like a cup of coffee.

When a mommy and a daddy love each other very much, the mommy takes her seeds and grinds them up and then the daddy pours his hot water over them.

Gramps


bringin the french press into the bedroom tonight

verynice

Escape From Noise

Drinking herbal tea and thinking about baseball.

frump truck

hello... again!

i'm an americologist and I can tell you that americans have precisely 1.6 sex per minute (SPM)

frump truck

hello... again!

oh dang someone already made sex units joke. poo poo, well bye

Doctor Dogballs

driving the fuck truck from hand land to pound town without stopping at suction station



actually more

----------------
https://thumbs.gfycat.com/HopefulSophisticatedIndianrhinoceros-mobile.webm
"The Bad Boy of Comics"

Prof. Crocodile

Randy Travesty

PHANTOM QUEEN


Two things I've done today:

1. gently caress
2. Drink coffee

Checks out

Prof. Crocodile

I like my coffee like I like my women: Americano :patriot:

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN


I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.


I've sipped coffee but I've never gone "all the way"

frump truck

hello... again!

coffee has more sex than i do

Ass-penny


:five:

I have coffee semi-regularly and haven't had sex in about four years.


thank you so much to nesamdoom for the scurry fall sig!

(┛◉Д◉)┛彡┻━┻ #YesNutNovember - add this to your sig if you love and support BYOB's own nut

Buttchocks

No, I like my hat, thanks.
I need a little sex before an all-nighter of drinking coffee

Randy Travesty

PHANTOM QUEEN


Confirming the OP's hypothesis this evening, we do.

Escape From Noise

I'm going to a nearby cafe for breakfast. I'll probably have coffee. I guess there's always an incredibly slight chance I'll have sex as well, but it's mathematically insignificant.

frump truck

hello... again!

Escape From Noise posted:

I'm going to a nearby cafe for breakfast. I'll probably have coffee. I guess there's always an incredibly slight chance I'll have sex as well, but it's mathematically insignificant.

In the many-worlds interpretation of quantum mechanics, at least one of the infinite versions of you is going to have sex in that cafe. probably more than one

frump truck

hello... again!

i'm an expert in quantum mechanics because i watched that show devs. also i'm not 100% sure what sex is

frump truck fucked around with this message at 02:24 on Apr 25, 2021

Ass-penny

Is anyone really sure what sex is? I think maybe people should stop having it until we've figured this thing out, maybe get a fresh pair of undies.

Queen-Of-Hearts

"I want to break your heart💔 and give you mine🫀"




what is even coffee?

Escape From Noise

Six-Of-Hearts posted:

what is even coffee?

Coffee poured slowly and steadily on an even surface using a level.

biosterous




Escape From Noise posted:

Coffee poured slowly and steadily on an even surface using a level.

:dadjoke:



thank you saoshyant for this sig!!!
gallery of sigs


he/him

Queen-Of-Hearts

"I want to break your heart💔 and give you mine🫀"




Escape From Noise posted:

Coffee poured slowly and steadily on an even surface using a level.

Escape From Noise

I got coffee this morning but, yet again, was not offered sex with it. Am I doing something wrong?

Goons Are Gifts

I wish I'd get a morning coffee instead of morning sex every drat day. It shouldn't be so hard to get a hot, refreshing beverage to start off the day, but usually it is quite hard.


Escape From Noise

Goons Are Great posted:

usually it is quite hard.

You're tellin' me!:wiggle:

Chris James 2


i have tea instead of coffee. v soothing

sig by Heather Papps

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN


I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.


Chris James 2 posted:

i have tea instead of coffee. v soothing

wtf

Gramps


Lookin at a big coffee wish it was a butt

Nosfereefer

IF YOU FIND THIS POSTER OUTSIDE BYOB, PLEASE RETURN THEM. WE ARE VERY WORRIED AND WE MISS THEM
i imagine americans drink a lot of coffee and have loads of sex

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

Finger Prince


This could explain why everyone thinks the cute barista is flirting with them.

Buttchocks

No, I like my hat, thanks.
On wedding night: I've been waiting my whole life to try coffee. Oops, I drank it all already. It'll take a few minutes to brew more, sorry.

cruft

Escape From Noise posted:

I got coffee this morning but, yet again, was not offered sex with it. Am I doing something wrong?

You're in Japan, fool!

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Queen-Of-Hearts

"I want to break your heart💔 and give you mine🫀"




buddy, they won't even let me gently caress the coffee.


:h: sig by Prof. Crocodile:h:
:byodame:BYOB spells: Mutually Assured Kindness:byodame:

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