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fart simpson
Jul 2, 2005

DEATH TO AMERICA
:xickos:

quarterly employee reviews are done via whiteboard coding challenges

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fart simpson
Jul 2, 2005

DEATH TO AMERICA
:xickos:

make everyone in the company rotate jobs every month. that way everybody gets experience with everything

fart simpson
Jul 2, 2005

DEATH TO AMERICA
:xickos:

my homie dhall posted:

the more risky a release the higher up in the management chain you have ot go to get it approved, ensuring that the risk involved in making a change is inversely proportional to the system knowledge of the person approving

i think this thread is supposed to be jokes, not simply describing reality

fart simpson
Jul 2, 2005

DEATH TO AMERICA
:xickos:

the problem with the peter principle is that people dont actually get promoted based on competence

fart simpson
Jul 2, 2005

DEATH TO AMERICA
:xickos:

Fortaleza posted:

We can save money by nixing the gym membership subsidy and replacing the entire office’s walls with one gigantic kanban board as The Source Of Truth in the company so everyone has to get up and walk across the office to check on or change the status of anything.

Developers may never escape their sticki-note grave but they’ll be getting exercise while they ponder it!

my company replaced the gym membership subsidy with the total lack of gym membership subsidy

fart simpson
Jul 2, 2005

DEATH TO AMERICA
:xickos:

The Management posted:

fire anyone who doesn’t do this willingly

fart simpson
Jul 2, 2005

DEATH TO AMERICA
:xickos:

MononcQc posted:

As a manager, if you want your employees to take your meetings seriously and to give them a lot of thought, let them know on Friday afternoon that you have to talk to them first thing Monday morning, and provide no further details. This will give them the entire week-end to introspect about their work here.

this past saturday my boss sent out a 9am monday morning meeting request and i completely blew it off

fart simpson
Jul 2, 2005

DEATH TO AMERICA
:xickos:

echinopsis posted:

yeah she made excuses. regardless it’s not going to happen again

you fired her?

fart simpson
Jul 2, 2005

DEATH TO AMERICA
:xickos:

echinopsis posted:

lol in this job market? no one to replace her

they say sex after firing someone is the best sex. a very intense sex.

fart simpson
Jul 2, 2005

DEATH TO AMERICA
:xickos:

i didn’t say you have to have sex with her specifically. i didn’t even imply it, that’s on you

fart simpson
Jul 2, 2005

DEATH TO AMERICA
:xickos:

echinopsis posted:

um where in the heck did I mention sex?

what a sick mind you have

I was merely mentioning that I am repulsed by her youth and gender

it is known that you are always talking about sex

fart simpson
Jul 2, 2005

DEATH TO AMERICA
:xickos:

yet you still post here

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fart simpson
Jul 2, 2005

DEATH TO AMERICA
:xickos:

speaking of that. a good rule is to require everyone to bring their computer to every meeting, just in case an important email comes in

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