UFC May: UFC June Discussion Thread

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Hammer House: Stinger Splash Zone > UFC May: UFC June Discussion Thread

LobsterMobster: Oct 29, 2009; "I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

Spencer Fisher, who Diego said he wanted to have The King in his corner for this bout with Cowboy that got scratched

# ¿ May 5, 2021 21:35

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# ¿ May 14, 2024 01:08

LobsterMobster: Oct 29, 2009; "I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

Josuke Higashikata posted:

https://www.nbclosangeles.com/news/...y-city/2587798/

Guess who is commiting fraud while in public office!!!!

It's

Tito Ortiz,

take it to the b league thread (the b is for bemboozlement, which is what tito is doing, which is when you do stealing of the money at a job)

# ¿ May 6, 2021 19:21

LobsterMobster: Oct 29, 2009; "I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

BlindSite posted:

The belief that it'll dilute the product at the lower weight classes particularly adding a 165 class is somewhat ridiculous. Right now there's at least 3 or 4 guys who are known as lightweights but struggle with the cut and you could argue it's impacted their careers negatively but are simply too small for the 170 class. RDA, Nate Diaz, Kevin Lee are the first off my head. Khabib missed weight 3 or 4 times throughout his career. Porier has come out in favour of it too. There are for sure fighters who cut too much to make 155 or simply can't compete physically at 170 who would perform better in a 165 class. There's plenty of fighters who moved up weight classes and looked a lot better because of it. Jan was a middling middleweight before he went up to LHW, Bobby knuckles was decisioning cans and getting knocked out at 170 before going up to 85.

They have 85 something lightweights on the roster and 75 welterweights, there's only about 45-50 middle weights. You could quite easily populate another division in the 165 range and have it be plenty competitive.

The way one fc works in policy is that fighters can only cut a certain amount of weight over a certain period IIRC they weigh in something like 3 times before their final weigh in to check their progress. This method might be improved on the current system if not a perfect solution.

John Wayne Parr posted that he failed over 10 hydration tests and missed weight for his recent bout against Nieky Holzken and ONE still let the fight go on, lol

# ¿ May 8, 2021 22:48

LobsterMobster: Oct 29, 2009; "I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

hatchi matchi

https://twitter.com/BigMarcel24/status/1392542339491667973

# ¿ May 12, 2021 20:29

LobsterMobster: Oct 29, 2009; "I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

Nis posted:

how are you gonna submit the croc? if you're literally just holding its mouth shut the whole time while presumably not being very active, herb is gonna stand the fight back up

edit: i dont think any of our frail human bodies can do real damage to a croc

Turns out an armbar works

# ¿ May 16, 2021 02:48

LobsterMobster: Oct 29, 2009; "I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

Marching Powder posted:

this is cool because it reinforces to me just how loving weird the barboza one is. a count of four before the dude goes cross eyed, loses all balance, and then finally loses consciousness.

still think about that liver shot knockout from the olden days where the dude gets drilled in the liver, doubles over in pain, and when the other guy runs in to finish it he gets knocked the gently caress out and finished before the knockout from the liver shot sets in.

Scott Smith vs Pete Sell

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z1RTGZIZ630

# ¿ May 17, 2021 23:49

LobsterMobster: Oct 29, 2009; "I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

Marching Powder posted:

muchos gracias lobster. every time i see it i think it can't be as insane as my memory thinks it is and... yep. that's a knocked out dude knocking out a dude.

I thought you were talking about Charles McCarthy getting killed by David Louiseau in the first half of your sentence, but Chainsaw Charlie didn't have an epic comeback, he just pooped out his guts

# ¿ May 18, 2021 00:38

LobsterMobster: Oct 29, 2009; "I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

Marching Powder posted:

personally i've always thought that ufc promos should be each fighter making traveller call out videos to their opponent and posting them online in 144p

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V9dLgKK1Y6c

I've got a soft spot for the American cousin, the Appalachian dirtfolk callout videos for Rough n Rowdy (before Barstool got involved)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fGucaj2GXwk

# ¿ May 18, 2021 13:51

LobsterMobster: Oct 29, 2009; "I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

Aye Doc posted:

all these other lightweight mfers don't deserve a break from *checks notes* violently pummeling tony ferguson in and about the face and wrenching his limbs against their natural configuration

i think he's just calling out the guy who played shooter mcgavin in happy gilmore

# ¿ May 18, 2021 15:38

LobsterMobster: Oct 29, 2009; "I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

Angry_Ed posted:

Has Tony Ferguson ever suffered a nailgun-related injury?

No chance. When he builds his wing chun dummies, he punches the nails in by hand

# ¿ May 18, 2021 15:41

LobsterMobster: Oct 29, 2009; "I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

Chandler breaking down the Oliveira fight

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ra6L3ArLYAQ

# ¿ May 20, 2021 13:30

LobsterMobster: Oct 29, 2009; "I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

Bluedeanie posted:

How many fighters have Brian Wilson'd themselves in the UFC like this? I can think of Conor McGregor with the GTA5 yogi "movement coach," but he still won fights working with him so his decline seems to be more about fighting bigger, better opponents while doing cocaine and sex crimes. A lot of people also pissed away money on Mike Dolce but I trust his weight cutting advice was servicable, just sourced from youtube videos and sold by an idiot. I feel like there are too many sad stories in MMA for Diego's situation to be unique unfortunately, so surely there are others.

What's incredible about Diego is this isn't the first insane grifter he hitched his wagon to. He had a run with Dan "Saint of Stevia" Quinn for a stretch because he was convinced a sugar substitute "melted" a tumor in his girlfriend's breast

# ¿ May 20, 2021 22:52

LobsterMobster: Oct 29, 2009; "I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

Snowman_McK posted:

He also knew when to take the mask off. Right after Leben knocked out Wanderlei, like, immediately after, Helwani ran up to him, hoping for a soundbite on how bad Wanderlei is in continuation of chael talking about how bad Wanderlei was and is. Instead, he just shook his head in disbelief, talking about how he hoped Wanderlei was alright and that this was a very tough sport to grow older in. He even managed to sound genuinely worried. Whether or not it was real or something he'd worked out already, he knew when to drop/shift the act.

Didn't Dolce's trick turn out to be steroids and sitting next to them slapping pizza slices out of their hands?

Sincere Chael, especially on TUF, was always very amazing.

The secret to LouTrition was that Johny Hendricks was allowed to go to Whataburger, but not get fries or a soda. I think the Dolce Diet was strictly roids and diuretics

# ¿ May 21, 2021 03:17

LobsterMobster: Oct 29, 2009; "I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

Just have Jacare attempt the Camozzi Time Trials until he get consistently speed run it under 60 seconds

# ¿ May 21, 2021 18:56

LobsterMobster: Oct 29, 2009; "I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

Lone Goat posted:

No Tate from TUF was a paramedic/nurse.

Not to be confused with the controversy of Phil Nurse rubbing GSPs chest during the BJ Penn fight, allegedly with vaseline that caused a bunch of controversy. They said the rubbing was something they learned from a guy they called the "Witch Doctor" to increase breathing or some other .

"The St. Pierre camp argue that Nurse was executing a breathing/energy exercise designed by [holistic therapist Steven] Friend, who is known as the "Witch Doctor" in MMA circles, and that if there was any Vaseline transfer, it was accidental and so small as to not make a difference in the fight."

https://www.theglobeandmail.com/sports/gsp-camp-offers-response-to-allegations-of-cheating/article1149481/

That led to BJ Penn's mother demanding to watch GSP shower for the rematch to make sure Georges wasn't excessively greased

Also, the best MMA Witch Doctor is the psionic warlock Bigfoot Silva used to drain Fedor's energy and transfer it into Bigfoot.

# ¿ May 22, 2021 01:20

LobsterMobster: Oct 29, 2009; "I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

aww farts!

https://twitter.com/BigMarcel24/status/1396522298832736259

# ¿ May 23, 2021 20:14

LobsterMobster: Oct 29, 2009; "I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

Southpaugh posted:

Are Nick and Nate clean? Is weed the ultimate PED?

Nate said "all you motherfuckers are on steroids, the whole ufc" and he is a member of the UFC, so that doesn't bode well for him.

# ¿ May 27, 2021 16:57

LobsterMobster: Oct 29, 2009; "I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

I am watching The Ultimate Fighter so you don't have to because I have tremendous brain disease

Episode 1: New Beginnings

16 Middleweights and 16 Bantamweights are here, and so are Alex Volkanovski and Brian Ortega. Volk is probably the shortest guy out here, lol. Dana claims Volko is the "undisputed" featherweight champ, but uhhh, I gotta fuckin disagree, bud.

Dana is flaunting the new, state of the art facility built just for fighting, but hell, a dirt pit can also be built for fighting, my dude. Why not take all that building money and give it to the fighters, Eggman?

Fighter Evals!

Ortega notes that "ricky is in his own world" during the practice sessions. Ortega also conducted in-person, one-on-one "do you like me? circle yes or no" moments with each fighter and notes that not a lot of guys said they wanted to be on Volkanovski's team.

When asked what his strengths are, one guy notes "i like to knock people out"

Team Picks!

Team Volk wins the toss and opts to select the first fighter

Team Volkanovski
- Bantamweights
1. Mitch Raposo (5-0)
2. Dustin Lampros (5-0)
3. Ricky Turcios (10-2)
4. Brady Hiestand (5-1)

- Middleweights
1. Ryder Newman (3-1)
2. Gilbert Urbina (6-1)
3. Aaron Phillips (5-2)
4. Bryan Battle (5-1)

Team Ortega
- Bantamweights
1. Dan Argueta (5-0)
2. Liudvik Sholinian (9-1-1) :911:

3. Josh Rettinghouse (16-5)
4. Vincent Murdock (12-4)

- Middleweights
1. Andre Petroski (5-1)
2. Tresean Gore (3-0)
3. Miles Hunsinger (7-0)
4. Kemran Lachinov (10-3)

I think I've heard of Gilbert Urbina, and I know Josh Rettinghouse because he got Marlon Moraes'd on WSoF. Everyone else is a mystery to me and I refuse to look them up on Tapology

Anyway, Dana, in a dick move, makes Kemran, the last overall pick, wait until Ortega calls his name to join the team. Just let the awkward moment pass, you fuckin dweebus.

Ortega selects as the first fight, Andre Petroski vs Aaron Phillips. Andre says Aaron is primarily a wrestler, which is good for Andre, because Andre not only trains with the best wrestlers, but is the best wrestler.

Now it's time to go to the new The Ultimate Fighter house! Just think, if these fighters win the season, become champion and utterly dominate at the top level of the sport, they could afford to book a huge, palatial house like this on Air BNB for a non-peak weekday!

Brady and Josh, despite being on opposite teams, are longtime Spokane pals. Ryder and Miles are Xtreme Couture buds, too, but they are prepared to FLIP THE SWITCH and fight their friends if need be.

Aaron has learned most of his MMA skills from Youtube, which is the original Jon Jones meme. The first Team Volk practice is pushing dudes, HORD.

Brian Ortega "I'm one of the best coaches in the world, and I can say that because I'm taught by the best, such as Rener Gracie". Apparently Rener don't teach boxing, cuz Jerome from Waianae put that work on T-City.

Ortega: "teaching is like a pizza"

The guys share family stories. Andre wants "a whole slew" of kids, if he had enough money and help to take care of them (Just get a bunch of lizards, my dude!)

Andre home video: from Glendora, NJ, he lives right be a creek. He's got a solid Philly accent, but he hasn't yet said "wudder", but I'm waiting. Ugh, never mind, he just said water, my day is ruined and my disappointment is immeasurable. He's a former Art of War champ and LFA headliner, with all finishes coming inside of 7 minutes, so not too shabby.

Aaron's fight prep is mostly predicated around setting up his deadly right hand. He says he was taken down maybe 1 or 2 times in his entire high school wrestling career. Andre's fight prep is mostly emphasizing his grappling skills.

Aaron is from Alaska and says that when he left town, the windchill was -50, which is not ideal. He is from Kotzebue, a town of around 4000 folks. It's 30 miles above the arctic circle.

No footage of any weight cutting, so the weigh-ins go off without a hitch.

The Ultimate Fighter Flashback (Brought to you by TOYO TIRES) is the time Conor instigated a fight with Cody Garbrandt. Sadly, the flashback doesn't include David Teymur yelling at Cody to TAKE CARE OF YOUR UNDERWEARS which is a god drat cryin shame.

FIGHT TIME!

Tale of the Tape

Aaron Phillips
Age: 30
Height: 6'0"
Weight: 186
Reach: 76"

Andre Petroski
Age: 29
Height: 6'0"
Weight: 186
Reach: 73"

ROUND ONE

Both guys feint and circle for 50 seconds before Phillips tosses out a single jab that's a good 8 inches short, but at least it's an actual thrown punch. 80 seconds in and finally a moment of action as Petroski slides in for an overhand left (misses) and Phillips fires back with a counter (also misses). More feinting and circling. Phillips nearly changes levels into a headkick, but he wears it well.

Three minutes in and Petroski shoots a single, and after some work from both men, Andre gets to side control. Petroski grabs a guillotine, moves to mount and Phillips taps with about 15 seconds left to go in the first round.

Ortega gets to pick the first bantamweight fight, so he selects Liudvik Sholinian vs Mitch Raposo for next week.

We end with a quick "on this season" montage, which includes cars put up on blocks, horses, snakes in the gym, some type of cake party, and volko calling someone out for "being here for the wrong reasons"

# ¿ Jun 3, 2021 02:46

LobsterMobster: Oct 29, 2009; "I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

the only thing i know about Gregory Rodrigues is he goes by Gregory Robocop

I dug into Sei-Za and I'm at a loss. I see that Julija Stoliarenko main evented all 4 cards and there are some pro wrestler names I recognize on the cards

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C9vpHqDKLHY

It is MMA on an open mat with pinfalls? The subtitle seems to be "Girl's Budo Entertainment" which feels weird to type into a search engine.

# ¿ Jun 3, 2021 04:24

LobsterMobster: Oct 29, 2009; "I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

we just gonna live in may forever?

# ¿ Jun 5, 2021 02:30

LobsterMobster: Oct 29, 2009; "I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

only make a new thread when we get a new champion, imo

# ¿ Jun 7, 2021 14:56

LobsterMobster: Oct 29, 2009; "I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

Southpaugh posted:

what makes you think that either of them will win? I think Moreno has a better chance than Vettori for sure but I just haven't seen anything out of vettori that has me jumping out of my chair.

he's steamin mad, and that counts for a lot

# ¿ Jun 8, 2021 18:58

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# ¿ May 14, 2024 01:08

LobsterMobster: Oct 29, 2009; "I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

Screama posted:

I don't think either of them will win, I was just joking around with the idea of getting a new thread literally every time we have a new champ. (Which is I think is actually a good idea btw since months don't really mean much to the MMA "season")

I think Moreno has a better chance to win than Vettori, but Vettori winning will be incredibly funny (he won't win, though)

# ¿ Jun 9, 2021 01:06

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