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May 5, 2021 19:31
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| # ? May 3, 2024 03:14 |
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Porsche, please. I'm just here for the wings. Yes, that's a very nice pair of breasts. Yes, you have a lovely bottom. No, I do not want to go back to the VIP with you. I would like to finish my wings. Please leave me be unless you want to run and grab me another blue cheese dressing.
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May 5, 2021 19:34
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No, I feel like over the last 6 months I've been pretty productive, despite working from home most days. I've kept up with all my assignments, and took care of that other project Tim was working on for him. I wrote up that thing to automate cleaning up some of our stuff to make that faster, everyone seemed to like that. It's not perfect, but it works. Goals? Well, I mean I could work to make that better, and honestly, I feel like I'm keeping fairly busy as... Look, I gotta be honest this hard to do when can't see around "Honey" and frankly she's actually slapping me pretty hard with these tits. No, Honey, it's fine. You look...ok. Yep. It's just. I'm, I'm trying to give my semi-annual performance review to my boss across the table and you're REALLY whacking me while I'm trying to talk.
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May 5, 2021 19:39
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WALK INTO THE CLUB LIKE, "..hey." No cover charge in the early afternoon, but I told the guy at the front I'm staying for dinner and he charged me anyway. I am really looking forward to the biscuits and gravy here. It's 3PM in Florida, just after the truckers leave for their PM meth shipments and right before the regulars come to spend their social security checks. The atmosphere is buzzing because a bee got in the building and the owner is swatting at it. After being told they do not serve biscuits and gravy ever since the incident on Mother's Day, I sit down and order a steak. It's pretty good! A gorgeous gothy girl is on stage. I am digging the music she selected more than the show, and I anguish over the best way to ask her about the song without being creepy. I end up choking on a piece of steak and get saved by a man who only goes by "Durango." He gestures to his pockets and mumbles something, and I just reply "yeah!"
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May 5, 2021 20:12
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ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD posted:tanya for the last loving time im not paying 8 dollars for mr pibb. im paying 8 dollars to watch you pour mr pibb on yourself to the beat of the 2012 eminem song "monster" Adjusts expense report accordingly.
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May 5, 2021 20:15
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Tasty always get me the Frank's Redhot from the back, in the "break room" she calls it. It's just a closet for the manager to do coke, but she can go anywhere in this club and she loves to let you know it. Its the manager's bottle though, so she gotta dodge both him and Sapphire, big time snitch. Saph want you to think she's the number 2 here but that aint true even when Tasty is out. Still though, if the manager finds out he charges me for the bottle, 25 bucks, and gets that poo poo eating grin when he says its all mine now. But can I come back in with it? Naaaaaaah You gotta put the Frank's on these wings man. They're a goddamn greek tragedy otherwise. Mr. Tran back there thinking he gets paid in deepfry time/second or something. He is by far rudest son of a bitch I've ever seen work a club. Kelly's up next, and I like Kelly. She makes a little eye contact but doesn't make it weird. I got a roll for 3 dances today and she might be one of em. Day's young though, and I don't know the night shift roster yet. I take out my phone and scan the news while I wait for Tasty, sometimes glancing at Kelly to see if she glances back.
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May 5, 2021 20:29
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Starts sobbing uncontrollably while continuing to eat the chicken.
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May 5, 2021 20:42
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Nelson Mandingo posted:Starts sobbing uncontrollably while continuing to eat the chicken. C’mon man…you sure you don’t at least want a dance? This is your bachelor party after all…
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May 5, 2021 21:56
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"You know I have a chef friend who used to work in one of these places back in Detroit. He said it was a great job for a chef because he could run something like 80% food cost and nobody gave a poo poo because they were already making so much money at the door and bar. The food was just ancillary. He was get cashed up Lebanese liquor store owners who just wanted fresh fruit at 1am and he'd charge like $150 for a platter."
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May 5, 2021 22:26
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hmmm i think ill have the fish
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May 5, 2021 22:33
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*finds pubic hair in the coleslaw* *surreptitiously pulls a dollar bill off the stage*
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May 5, 2021 22:37
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Seriouspost: what strip clubs are you guys going to that are covered in pubes?
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May 5, 2021 23:05
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Poohs Packin posted:Seriouspost: what strip clubs are you guys going to that are covered in pubes? Well, googling "do strippers trim?" brought up some great tips about how to remove paint and varnish from molding and trims, so I will say that they are joking about the amount of pubes. Unless they're going to, like, the Pubic Library.
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May 5, 2021 23:22
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Literally A Person posted:
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May 5, 2021 23:23
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Poohs Packin posted:Seriouspost: what strip clubs are you guys going to that are covered in pubes? To be fair, I have literally been to one strip club in my life. Not my scene. Just trying to make a loving JOKE BUT MR. WHAT-STRIP-CLUB-ARE-YOU-GOING-TO OVER HERE CAN'T LEAVE WELL ENOUGH ALONE.
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May 5, 2021 23:24
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Poohs Packin posted:Seriouspost: what strip clubs are you guys going to that are covered in pubes? To be fair I don't think it is the particular club so much as the time of year. I think right now is shearing season. Got to buzz cut them or they can't walk straight and in the worst cases can't even see where they are going.
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May 5, 2021 23:29
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This is the worst lobster I ever had!!!
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May 6, 2021 00:22
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can i see a wine menu???
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May 6, 2021 00:52
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The string I tied to my cock and fed through the hole in my pants pocket has overtightened, so I hope I can make it to a toilet cubicle to remove it before I literally choke the head of my dick.
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May 6, 2021 00:59
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A Harriet Tubman 20 dollar bill scowls at me to try and fill me with deep shame as it hangs loosely from the G-string of the stripper in front of me telling me about her third kid's day at fourth grade while I'm trying really hard to eat my salisbury steak.
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May 6, 2021 01:02
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The best monkfish I ever ate!
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May 6, 2021 01:08
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Poohs Packin posted:Seriouspost: what strip clubs are you guys going to that are covered in pubes? Goons do not actually go into strip clubs, they just like to madumb assumptions about sex workers.
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May 6, 2021 01:11
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Ads for a strip club where I grew up promised a brunch called Legs n Eggs I was intrigued at the time but it honestly seems like a terrible idea
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May 6, 2021 01:23
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wots that smell?
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May 6, 2021 01:25
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Kathy you're always welcome to come out to lunch with us, but it's kind of awkward with you here. It's not that you're the only woman in our office group, it's that you work in HR.
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May 6, 2021 01:31
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*boss gets a new secretary/fiancee* *recognize her from the nearest strip club* *cant decide if it would help or hurt my cred to gossip about it*
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May 6, 2021 01:40
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Grem posted:Goons do not actually go into strip clubs, they just like to madumb assumptions about sex workers. Goon, there isn't any a place I can think of that doesn't have an errant pube or two floating about.
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May 6, 2021 01:46
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*eating my 12.99 6oz flatiron steak and loaded baked potato* Mercedes: "Smuggy can you front me a 40? I'm closing tonight, I'll get you back tomorrow" Me: "I'm on my fuckin' lunch break!"
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May 6, 2021 01:49
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Literally A Person posted:Goon, there isn't any a place I can think of that doesn't have an errant pube or two floating about. I worked in a legit manufacturing clean room once and found a pube in there
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May 6, 2021 01:54
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The Bloop posted:I worked in a legit manufacturing clean room once and found a pube in there Grand Fromage posted:
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May 6, 2021 02:04
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Ohhhh man I am so hungry for this scallop platter. *waitress taps me on shoulder* “I’m so sorry to inform you sir but your coupon has expired”. “Well, this is just an outrage lady. I will not stand for it, no I won’t.” *triple pumps the “make it rain” money dispenser*. “I INSIST on paying half price for the scallops like coupon says, whoa hey lady, what the gently caress are you doing!? You can’t take my scallop plate away! I haven’t finished..” 
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May 6, 2021 02:08
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Bula Vinaka posted:wots that smell? It’s all the rotten scallops from the unhonored coupons in this seedy, cut-rate establishment! 
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May 6, 2021 02:10
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Garçon! Another blanquette de veau and bottle of the '83 Côtes du Rhône, s'il vous plaît!
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May 6, 2021 02:29
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*Spills ranch dressing all over pants* This isn’t what it looks like!
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May 6, 2021 02:43
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*shows up in soccer shorts and is immediately kicked out by the bouncer*
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May 6, 2021 02:44
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*invites all the girls over to enjoy his $49.99 appetizer sampler platter with him, doesn't oogle or touch any of them, just asks them how it's going and insists they try the queso with guacamole* *goes home to empty studio apartment, logs on to something awful dot com slash forums*
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May 6, 2021 02:50
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Bula Vinaka posted:wots that smell? Stale sweat, farts, rancid beer, smelly feet, piss, a muskiness you don't want to know about and something like raw fish. Bon appetit! 
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May 6, 2021 02:54
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Grem posted:Goons do not actually go into strip clubs, they just like to madumb assumptions about sex workers. I too have been to only one strip club its called Lido Lounge and its next to a highway in Cleveland. Its sort of so bad its good.
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May 6, 2021 03:00
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I will order the fish taco iykwim
Sjs00 fucked around with this message at 03:06 on May 6, 2021 |
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May 6, 2021 03:04
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| # ? May 3, 2024 03:14 |
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Sjs00 posted:I will order the fish taco iykwim I do not
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May 6, 2021 03:09
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