Antifa Turkeesian posted:

I predict new genres of pornography.

Rah! posted:

the birdmen will remember this

Horrorosaurus posted:

I'M NONT A COP, FUCKER

Judge Dredd Scott posted:

Dude what the gently caress, where?

Judge Dredd Scott posted:

im beyond jealous, ive had to grow my own. id gently caress that bar up in one go, 3g is a good dose

The Saucer Hovers posted:

tea for me
flying saucers when i can find em

Dolphin posted:

lightning balls

Google Butt posted:

frankly speaking, I will slap up any alien that tries to abduct me, UNLESS they're hot

Google Butt posted:

me

Bilirubin posted:

What is?

Nichael posted:

the aliens really are tall and blonde! and incredibly horny???

Google Butt posted:

Lue my back out

Thoatse posted:

trud!

https://i.imgur.com/mOnEL9G.gifv

Jazerus posted:

they just want to hide the astral pearl that lets you make a spiritual phone call to zeta reticulon's biggest pervert

Rime posted:

11 book Corliss set arrived, but I'm 1200km away from home and won't be able to read it until October.

Egg Moron posted:

Why don't the aliens do something cool like kill us all instead of buzzing around like limp dicked pansies with their blurry as orb craft?

Fly Ricky posted:

Not to be dismissive, it's one take. I appreciate that it's not just a meme poo poo post.

When MUFON washed their hands as best they could of Harzan, my understanding is that Ventre's involvement left with him. But I cannot speak for what goes on behind the scenes at MUFON Pennsylvania. There is some possibility he is involved with them, or even behind the scenes with someone else in the organization in an unnamed capacity., There are have been systemic complaints about MUFON leadership, and I fully believe the majority of them to be credible.

However I must say, being directly involved with many of the prominent leaders, there is no tolerance for that kind of behavior either within MUFON or in the personal life of anyone with a title. There are some well respected and highly qualified professionals involved. As with all working relationships however, you never know what someone is thinking or doing beyond what you can see and what they tell you.

One last thing, I do believe the core MUFON is a very comprehensive system of recording encounters which has been refined to precision over the years. In the hands of qualified and sincere Field Investigators, very good work is done. And hopefully their respective directors are providing experienced guidance and maintaining high standards. Of course it varies from chapter to chapter.

I won't bog down this sub with anymore defense of them. Dog on them all you want goons. But watch this space for many more even shittier posts unrelated to MUFON from me in the near future.

valp posted:

I guess I'll talk about how I opened my third eye, and then immediately closed it again.

It began when I started doubting the official moon landing story. This isn't the conspiracy thread and I'm not here to red-pill you on the moon landing, so let's just say that I started feeling like maybe the nazi in charge of the space program and president Nixon weren't as trustworthy as I first thought.

Around the same time I noticed that every time I tried to meditate a spot between my forehead would itch. I didn't believe in chakras back then so I kinda joked about it. Like wouldn't it be funny if the way reality worked is that once you see through the lies of the world you unlock your magical truth-seeing eye? Hah hah, imagine if the universe is a video game and I finally met the unlock condition for magical powers by doubting the moon landing! Hilarious! So anyways I stopped meditating because I didn't believe in chakras and the itching in my forehead was disturbing me.

Once I had those psychic conversations I was still iffy on chakras, but they kinda became impossible to ignore.

First, I'd read that everyone has a higher self, which is the version of you that exists outside of time after you've finished reincarnating. I asked mine to prove it was real by giving me a reason to go through another 40+ years of this bullshit, and I immediately felt a bunch of energy pass in through the top of my head, aka the crown chakra. I then passed out and had an out of body experience.

You know those rides like magic mountain at Disney world, where you sit in the dark in a boat and you see a brightly lit scene of brier fox chasing the rabbit, then you sit in the dark until the boat takes you further and you see another scene? Being out of your body is like that. You just kinda enter a scene, and things happen, then you leave that scene and nothing exists except this sense of moving tremendously fast through absolute darkness until the next scene happens. You don't have a body so if you're not part of a scene, if you're not interacting with something, then nothing exists except your awareness that you exist.

So I zoomed around the darkness with no body for a bit, imagining I was pyramid and I was blasting light everywhere. Then this guy caught me, sensed my horny energies, and then passed me off to a woman. I kinda zoomed towards her and felt good, then fell away, then zoomed towards her and felt good, then fell away, then the two of them caught me and asked me my name and I told them. I guess that's what it feels like to try and fail at having astral sex? I dunno. The whole thing was kinda lame but it did cheer me up, closest I've been to actually getting laid in years. Also I guess some random psychic couple has my real life name now.

Later that week I jerked off and was feeling really tired. I tried to meditate, and the itching on my forehead bloomed into a ball of pain and I started shaking. It felt a bit like the beginning of a seizure and later on my eyes were bloodshot. Then I felt a bunch of energy flowing into my forehead and down my body to the lower chakras, at which point I got an erection. The whole "possible seizure" thing freaked me out so I haven't jerked off since that happened, just in case depleting my sex energies or something is what caused that to happen. I also found that if I rubbed my forehead and imagined energy moving from my third eye out the top of my head (crown chakra) I'd stop feeling that pressure in my third eye/forehead.

I still don't know why opening my third eye made me feel like I was having a seizure. Are my chakras so imbalanced that opening the third eye all the way would drive me mad so my body was telling me to stop? Did aliens surgically implant something to stop me from developing my magical powers? Am I just opening my third eye wrong? No clue. The only thing I'm sure of is that pain is the body's way of telling you to stop, so I'm not going to mess around with my third eye any time soon.

Another thing that happened was I was thinking about how if reincarnation is real that'd mean everyone has lived lives as both female and male. I spent a bunch of time thinking about how I was probably a woman at some point, and accepted that fact. I guess that counts as "connecting to my feminine side" enough to unblock that chakra, because I immediately felt this warmth in my lower body, like it was completely and unmistakable supernatural in that the region of my body where the sacral chakra is supposed to be was suddenly really hot in a way I've never felt at any point in my life before or since. I also feel like I'm slightly more mentally stable and comfortable with my body now.


Unrelated to chakras, I also connected to a past life of mine. I figured maybe the reason this life is kinda lovely is karma because I hosed up really bad in the past. I imagined putting my hands through the barrier of life and death and holding on to the hands of a past life. Then I felt this absolutely crushing weight all over my body, like being buried alive beneath the weight of the world, and I felt this overwhelming grief and pain flow in and fill me. I've been struggling with my mental health all my life (shocking, I know) so being utterly crushed by pain and grief is something I'm completely used to and know how to deal with and it wasn't a big deal.


Anyways if you want trippy visions doing drugs is a million times easier and more intense, and also don't open your third eye chakra until you're mentally stable. Or at least, you're as mentally stable as someone who believes in chakras can be.

The Saucer Hovers posted:

thread finally being downvoted- ruined by new age nonsense and celebrity gossip blogs

Plumps posted:

Can somebody post the cdan thing here? I dont click on links

Hatebag posted:

A MIRACLE posted:

ok where do you get that lol

Slavvy posted:

What arbitrary non-logic led to it being 19+?

Bilirubin posted:

Just watched smug was pretty great.

What is this DHS video?

The Demilich posted:

Aliens gave me ED, as a treat.