Rocket Baby Dolls posted:

I like cryptids but I don't feel willing to jack one off. Unless it was the only way to prove that they exist but I've already been fooled by that once, but that's a story for another time.

"The Kraken only appeared when it felt the presence of a lot of seamen. Unfortunately, when it rose from the depths, the sailors mistook its presence as impending doom and sought to destroy it or flee. All that it wanted was to experience love for once in its lifetime but it could never understand anyone's reluctance. The harpoons and cannon fire played into its excitement and added to the erotic encounter. But their frail bodies could never seem to last its lustful desires and it could never quite understand why."

I'm going to look back on this post and remember why I usually go to bed before midnight.