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Yossarian-22
Oct 26, 2014

euphronius posted:

this could be a revolutionary moment to critically reasses all stats and coverage of the nba but I suspect people will just make excuses for Curry

he basically has no help aside from draymond

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Yossarian-22
Oct 26, 2014

euphronius posted:

everyone agrees draymond is probably a hall of famer. is that not enough? two hall of famers cant make the playoffs?

did you see that last shot attempt by draymond in the grizzlies game? he has zero ability to score anymore and without durant/klay teams key on curry like nobody's business. gsw with curry sitting on the bench was maybe the worst offensive team in the entire nba this year

that said curry is a lousy defender and made some inexcusable turnovers in the grizzlies game

Yossarian-22 fucked around with this message at 19:37 on May 22, 2021

Yossarian-22
Oct 26, 2014

Can the Heat upset the Bucks AGAIN?! Let's see

Yossarian-22
Oct 26, 2014

euphronius posted:

he was lucky in the sense that he has played with actual real valuable players and has shared in their glory yes

lol who the gently caress uses "game score" stats? look at curry's on/off numbers over his career. klay was a shooter of average efficiency with curry benched whereas the reverse isn't true

Yossarian-22
Oct 26, 2014

euphronius posted:

the Bench is uneven

starters are really good

no clearly it's because embiid is a fraud and isnt a WINNER who WINS GAMES

Yossarian-22
Oct 26, 2014

euphronius posted:

they were the one seed lmao

curry 3 titles embiid 0

Yossarian-22
Oct 26, 2014

indigi posted:

curry “has” 1 to be fair, and that was a series where it was LeBron + scrubs and still went to 6. Durant got him the other two, couldn’t even beat Toronto

curry smashed okc, which had peak durant, after being down 3-1 and durant's clutch performance was so bad that he joined gsw out of shame

gsw was in shambles against toronto. kevon looney and injured demarcus cousins were their second best players at times because iggy/green were often completely useless offensively and klay kept rotating in and out of the lineup, plus they were absolutely shattered by the size of toronto with gasol/siakam/ibaka/leonard down low. curry essentially had to bail them out

Yossarian-22 fucked around with this message at 21:50 on May 23, 2021

Yossarian-22
Oct 26, 2014

euphronius posted:

I mean uh the most valuable player on that team was klay Thompson by a mile



From +19 to -5

https://www.basketball-reference.com/players/t/thompkl01/on-off/2016

From +15 to +2

https://www.basketball-reference.com/players/c/curryst01/on-off/2016

23 point difference vs. 13, and this is maybe Klay's best year. Thompson was barely the third best player on the team considering how good peak Green and peak Iggy were

Yossarian-22
Oct 26, 2014

indigi posted:

and then what happened

green kicked a guy in the nuts and gave lebron the keys to the castle

Yossarian-22
Oct 26, 2014

euphronius posted:

but let’s start from basic principles : when Stephen Curry was tasked to lead a team as its best player he lead that team directly into the draft lottery

lmao. curry played 5 games in 2019-2020 do you have amnesia

interesting how adding curry back almost led them to kick the defending champs out of the playoffs the very next season

Yossarian-22 fucked around with this message at 22:33 on May 23, 2021

Yossarian-22
Oct 26, 2014

euphronius posted:

I see you have fallen into the stats simulacrum hole

if you are willing to learn I think we can lead you out . you have to be brave tho and put aside your grandpa espn ideas about fantasy stats

I’m willing to help

grandpa fantasy stats are points and rebounds i prefer the basic observation of "is this team better with this player or without him" which plenty of on/off court stats bear out

Yossarian-22
Oct 26, 2014

euphronius posted:

in/out of the playoffs seems like even a better stat

dwyane wade went 15-67 on the heat in 2007

lebron's lakers missed the playoffs with ingram, an all star, in 2019

dirk was bounced by an 8th seed in 2007

Yossarian-22
Oct 26, 2014

grandpas complain regularly about how curry has changed the game and made it all about outside shooting and efficiency instead of good old fashioned dunking and handchecking :smuggo:

Yossarian-22
Oct 26, 2014

euphronius posted:

espn grandpas love stejph curry and make him an mvp candidate and draft him in all of their fantasy leagues

meanwhile, the candidate of youthful thinking, Chris Paul, quietly assassinates the league with little fanfare from the ancient dullards

espns hatred of Chris Paul is no doubt related to Paul’s Union leadership role . whereas the poster child of the rentier class in San Franscixo who can only celebrate the simulacrum of success as they have never worked (they have an ideological blindness to defense . they literally can’t see it because it can’t be measured with dashboard apps )

if you are a landlord or manager , Steph Curry is your man

cp3 is no doubt amazing, top 5 pg ever material and he gets stupidly maligned by morons like bill simmons because of never making the finals. plus he is a union man so that automatically makes him the poo poo. i will never forget the clippers series when he bounced san antonio out of the playoffs

also i can't respect gsw anymore for abandoning oakland but i still stan curry

Yossarian-22
Oct 26, 2014

klay averaged as many turnovers as assists basically. dude made so many stupid to's and could never drive the ball as well as curry. he's also practically a foot bigger and somehow less of a rebounder

Yossarian-22
Oct 26, 2014

Telluric Whistler posted:

Nikola Jokic is the MVP because he has "The Look"

Players with "The Look" can overcome many things to dominate the game of basketball

telluric dog whistler

Yossarian-22
Oct 26, 2014

euphronius posted:

Who is the more valuable player ?

Player A: 100% 3p%
Player B : 0% 3p%

It’s a truck question you can’t tell from those numbers who is valuable

ben simmons would be better shooting 100% than 0

Yossarian-22
Oct 26, 2014

a new study bible! posted:

Jazz are frauds and will also lose game two.

Got no grit. Got no grind.

If mitchell is even 80% the grizz will be toast

Yossarian-22
Oct 26, 2014

Judakel posted:

he lost money on bitcoin

i lost my doge funny money on weed stocks and a coin called "elon weed" and then made over 35k on an assortment of random dog tokens

Yossarian-22 fucked around with this message at 01:40 on May 25, 2021

Yossarian-22
Oct 26, 2014

Telluric Whistler posted:

When one examines the starting lineup of the Utah Jazz you will need to look into the forbidden realm of stats and numbers.

Bojan Bogdanovic? 45% of 2P assisted and 90% of 3P. He is not a player as much as a manifestation of a greater set of forces (passing, assists, ball movement, energy) - how else could a player on a basketball court score buckets without generating other boxscore stats? He is anomalous! A being outside the physical realms, but clearly effecting it.

Here you will see that Donovan Mitchell is assisted on 15% of 2P and <50% of 3P. Jordan Clarkson? The same. He is the dark mirror of The Spidah. As a dark mirror we see him inextricably linked to The Spidah, a fellow who "starts" the game. A "Man of the 5" as opposed to the "Sixth Man". However, a shadow and a reflection must follow the body everywhere, it is what anchors us within the material. Jordan Clarkson is a starter, as he exists in a constant state of superposition with Donovan Mitchell. But he is also a Sixth Man.

Now we reach Joe Jingles Jinglish Ingles - a man who sits between worlds, he is emergent rather than anomalous. A shot creator, a distributor, a point guard, a forward, a shooter, a playmaker. On the boxscore, he is a starter of many games, and yes he is nominally - in a physical sense only - a "starter". However, he is a man without a position both on the court and in the material world we inhabit, existing in all places at once. We can, at a later time, investigate what we can define his position as (please refer to your readings on Gnosticism) but we can unequivocally state that he is not a "Man" by the standard definition. But I would assume C-SPAM posters are familiar with numerology and the NBA and know that the Sixth Man is defined by his absence at the start of the game (universe) and with Jingles existing in all places at once we must assume that he has some degree of 6th dimensional traversal and thus also can exist at all times (or not exist as is his wont). Thus he is a Sixth Man.

But who, then, is the "Fifth Man" or "Last Starter" who is necessary and present at the genesis of the world-life cycle that is an NBA game? Who provides the last ingredient and spark to create our universe for the Jazz if indeed Jordan Clarkson and Jinglish are Sixth Men who come after the fall and the first logging of the sinful boxscore numbers?



Look into his eyes and see the endless expanse of the moments before - the hours of tape review, practice, gameplanning, cocaine... Quinn Snyder is both the Monad and the Demiurge - the players His Emanations and thus part of His being. Look upon your Fifth Man, and know that there are two Sixth Men.

lol

or it's just royce o'neale

Yossarian-22
Oct 26, 2014

kawhi just casually a complete monster

Yossarian-22
Oct 26, 2014

best hbo show of the past 5 years imo that one

kawhi has 30 points on 10-14 and 2 steals/assists/rebounds at half

Yossarian-22
Oct 26, 2014

luka not loving human

Yossarian-22
Oct 26, 2014

leonard so casual he just casually put up 41 points on crazy efficiency but it didn't matter because the clippers are a cursed franchise. down 2-0 at home after they literally tanked to play dallas

Yossarian-22
Oct 26, 2014

for some reason ayton has never attempted more than 2 free throws per game in a season over his three year career whereas davis averages 6-8 routinely. i guess he's unusually bad at "drawing contact" or something? needs to take acting lessons like the rest of the league

Yossarian-22
Oct 26, 2014

indigi posted:

big strong guys get less calls cause refs are just like “they’re big they’re fine.” gotta put some effort into selling contact

embiid attempts 10+ per game. unusual in that he actually makes 85% of them whereas for past bigs (and presently giannis and zion) who were hacked a lot it was specifically because they were so bad at the line

Yossarian-22
Oct 26, 2014

a new study bible! posted:

Jazz are frauds and will also lose game two.

Got no grit. Got no grind.



Yossarian-22 posted:

If mitchell is even 80% the grizz will be toast

Yossarian-22
Oct 26, 2014

with jamal murray/cp3 getting injured and the clippers stinking it the gently caress up i honestly think the jazz are probably the only team with a real shot of beating the lakers in the west. the east is way more interesting this year with the bucks/76ers/nets all in it

lakers/nets has an aura of inevitability to it and the jazz remind me of the 2002 kings where they probably are the best overall team in the west but will somehow get screwed over by refs due to being a small market franchise. part of me wants a utah/bucks final just because it would hurt the nba's business so much but i know that can't happen because of the bilderbergs and the freemasons

Yossarian-22
Oct 26, 2014

lol right when i say that the grizz have an insane comeback. i might have to eat poo poo???

Yossarian-22
Oct 26, 2014

Actual top 5 all time:

1. LeBron
2. Jabbar
3. MJ
4. Wilt
5. David Robinson

If Robinson had Manu/Parker/Popovich instead of Sean Elliot and Avery Johnson he would have won like eight championships. 3.6 blocks and 1.7 steals averaged during his peak years and insane offensive efficiency. It's only because of rings that Duncan overshadows him

Yossarian-22
Oct 26, 2014

Bucks, Lakers, Nuggets will all win imo

Yossarian-22
Oct 26, 2014

indigi posted:

Chris Paul actually kind of sucks when you think about how he practically never helps his teams in the playoffs. if he could stay healthy he'd be a top ~ten player all time even without winning a ring

he almost beat harden's rockets last year with a team of bench players on okc, and he beat the defending champ spurs singlehandedly with the clippers. he also probably would have won a ring or two with houston if the dynasty warriors weren't in the league

Yossarian-22
Oct 26, 2014

Yossarian-22 posted:

Bucks, Lakers, Nuggets will all win imo

Doing another victory lap

Tomorrow I like ATL/Brooklyn for sure and I cannot decide the Mavs/Clips game to save ny life. I say Mavs go up 3-0 because it's the funniest outcome

Yossarian-22
Oct 26, 2014

fun fact: my hometown sacramento kings almost drafted doncic aka lebron 2.0 but vlade divac didn't because he didn't like doncic's dad (maybe an inter-balkan thing idk) and instead drafted one of the least efficient busts in the nba, marvin bagley. this franchise deserves everything that happens to it especially after they kept luke walton after getting accused of sexual assault

expecting 3-0 today because doncic is a god among men

Yossarian-22
Oct 26, 2014

the kings have gone longer than any major league sports team not making the playoffs aside from the seattle mariners, and in seattle's defense they play in a sport where only 4/15 teams in their league make it rather than the 8/15 teams in an nba conference. the kings are absolutely the most cursed franchise in sports and we honestly should have just let seattle take them

Yossarian-22
Oct 26, 2014

idk man the west is so stacked. hoping the kings can draft cade cunningham

Yossarian-22
Oct 26, 2014

I was 1-2 today :(

I think all the favorites will win tomorrow: Milwaukee, Portland, Philly, Utah. Portland-Denver has a 7 game vibe to me

Yossarian-22
Oct 26, 2014

Hawks are really fun and good minus trae young's acting, although he's relying less on it this series it looks like. I think they could actually give the 76ers a hard time. Sucks for the Knicks though :(

Yossarian-22
Oct 26, 2014

euphronius posted:

being big is an advantage in basketball

gms often ignore this I don’t know why

I think drafting Hasheem Thabeet over James Harden and Steph Curry cemented skepticism around big guys permanently

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Yossarian-22
Oct 26, 2014

I totally thought the Suns were completely dead but credit to CP3 for being alive and well at 36

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