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The elves all had cancer so they had to leave Middle Earth for the Undying Lands (hospice)
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May 29, 2021 04:46
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dil tom bomb a dil is elvish for "large balls and penis"
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May 29, 2021 04:52
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The elves as they blast the song Gasoline Dreams from the Outkast Album Stankonia "The ring is gay."
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May 29, 2021 04:55
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Omnitrix posted:Elrond was hatched from an egg His mom was a bird at one point so possibly. 🐣
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May 29, 2021 05:03
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Luthien, Idril, and Arwen were dumb for marrying men. Not only would you be chained to a mortal that lived an infintesimally shorter life than yourself, but you'd be condemning all your children and their children to mortality. Mortality is a curse; men are weak; CMV.
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May 29, 2021 07:43
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i was going to make a joke about why you assuming any elfes had a penis but then i looked it up and found some disturbing information https://fictionhorizon.com/can-elves-have-babies-and-how-do-they-reproduce-in-the-lord-of-the-rings/
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May 29, 2021 08:17
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Much like the Romans and latin, the elves word for penis is actually what their word for sword comes from but since elves are basically duck people the sword is a rapier
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May 29, 2021 09:27
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StoryTime posted:You can never see the ring in Tolkien goatse... Goatse is like a metaphor for the one ring and mount doom. 500excf type r posted:Much like the Romans and latin, the elves word for penis is actually what their word for sword comes from but since elves are basically duck people the sword is a rapier Pick axe.
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May 29, 2021 09:44
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SleepyK posted:Luthien, Idril, and Arwen were dumb for marrying men. Not only would you be chained to a mortal that lived an infintesimally shorter life than yourself, but you'd be condemning all your children and their children to mortality. Mortality is a curse; men are weak; CMV. what the heck are you tolkein about?
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May 29, 2021 11:08
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May 29, 2021 11:18
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SleepyK posted:Luthien, Idril, and Arwen were dumb for marrying men. Not only would you be chained to a mortal that lived an infintesimally shorter life than yourself, but you'd be condemning all your children and their children to mortality. Mortality is a curse; men are weak; CMV. Please do not forget about mithrellas, who married imrazor, the first prince of dol amroth, and forefather to my babes Boromir and Faramir.
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May 29, 2021 12:24
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SleepyK posted:Luthien, Idril, and Arwen were dumb for marrying men. Not only would you be chained to a mortal that lived an infintesimally shorter life than yourself, but you'd be condemning all your children and their children to mortality. Mortality is a curse; men are weak; CMV. The Half Elven were allowed to choose.
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May 29, 2021 12:28
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StoryTime posted:You can never see the ring in Tolkien goatse...
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May 29, 2021 12:58
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SleepyK posted:Luthien, Idril, and Arwen were dumb for marrying men. Not only would you be chained to a mortal that lived an infintesimally shorter life than yourself, but you'd be condemning all your children and their children to mortality. Mortality is a curse; men are weak; CMV. Ok, you're not wrong, but hear me out, have you seen Viggo Mortensen as Aragorn Never saw an elf man that compared to that
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May 29, 2021 12:58
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Jack-Off Lantern posted:The Half Elven were allowed to choose. I was gonna say. I'm not even a big lotr nerd (honestly) but I know this. C'mon man.
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May 29, 2021 13:19
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Jack-Off Lantern posted:The Half Elven were allowed to choose. It was the power of love and friendship
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May 29, 2021 13:24
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The elves, also known as "Papi Chulo" were a race known to make the bussy fard on command. Bilbo died doing
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May 29, 2021 13:41
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A red sun rises... CUM has been spilt this night. From sex.
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May 29, 2021 13:51
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Waterbed Wendy posted:A red sun rises... CUM has been spilt this night. From sex. Vigo Mortensen cut his foot during this scene, word is his foot job was far too vigorous, me says it was not vigorous enough! That's ProudFEET!
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May 29, 2021 13:54
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How you all feel about the Amazon Silmarillion having tiddies? Don’t feel like Tolkien would approve but on the other hand…tiddies
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May 29, 2021 14:07
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Lil Swamp Booger Baby posted:Vigo Mortensen cut his foot during this scene, word is his foot job was far too vigorous, me says it was not vigorous enough! That's ProudFEET! Freaking Strider got cum in my hair!! No, not up there, down here!!! On my big hairy fussy.
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May 29, 2021 14:20
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Waterbed Wendy posted:Freaking Strider got cum in my hair!! No, not up there, down here!!! On my big hairy fussy. He Strode onto my dick as it were his territory?? And me I did not stop him?? Would you??
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May 29, 2021 14:21
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Lil Swamp Booger Baby posted:He Strode onto my dick as it were his territory?? And me I did not stop him?? Would you?? No no oh hell no I wouldn't, the man is on edge after all that. He needs this. Also Galadriel gave gimlit three strands of hair but guess what they were dripping with? piss
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May 29, 2021 14:26
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I just read the first chapter of Fellowship of the Ring. It ruled. It was just about Bilbo's dozens of lovely relatives trying to take all the poo poo from his house, it was hilarious.
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May 29, 2021 14:33
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YES!! And HOBBITS!
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May 29, 2021 14:40
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John Wick of Dogs posted:I just read the first chapter of Fellowship of the Ring. It ruled. It was just about Bilbo's dozens of lovely relatives trying to take all the poo poo from his house, it was hilarious. Those SB’s thought that was a great dirty joke hidden in a children’s book
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May 29, 2021 14:41
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John Wick of Dogs posted:I just read the first chapter of Fellowship of the Ring. It ruled. It was just about Bilbo's dozens of lovely relatives trying to take all the poo poo from his house, it was hilarious. I love the books. The beginning is much different than the movie, you've got the hobbits going on a long lazy trip and along the way they get naked and bathe together while Tom Bombadil watches them.
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May 29, 2021 15:42
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Hurricane Chris said it best when he said "A bay bay." which I think really represents how the elves were trying to reach out and contact drip, of which they were lacking, with their drab accoutrement and clothing, resembling a set of phylactery designed to perpetuate the status quo and the concept of looking like a bitch boomer. Really, there was aught to be done about it, so they did aught, and skipped lake to the Undying Lands, where their lack of drip was Undying. Verily, I did
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May 29, 2021 15:59
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Jack-Off Lantern posted:The Half Elven were allowed to choose. I'd like to move my goalpost from certain mortality to forcing a decision of mortality for themselves and their descendants (e.g. Elros' line) 
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May 29, 2021 20:53
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https://i.imgur.com/tek4WZi.gifv
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May 31, 2021 01:49
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D8eqLSf0ipI
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May 31, 2021 02:31
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Im aragorn, son of arathorn, son of ecctherion, son of...hell i memorized all these one night. Arathorn, ecctheriorn. Florn. Or Mike, maybe. Isildorfs 8 or 9. Elfs penises? Oh sure. Whatever you’re having.
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May 31, 2021 12:51
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As shown in an oft forgotten scene of Amazon's Silmarillion, when Feanor pisses on the wall there's two distinct streams. A coincidence?
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May 31, 2021 13:17
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So they say Uruk-hai are some kinda cross between orcs and men right? Who do you think it was that made love to an orc lady?
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May 31, 2021 14:14
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Mooey Cow posted:So they say Uruk-hai are some kinda cross between orcs and men right? Who do you think it was that made love to an orc lady? I know there is an actual answer to this but judging by how they got born I have to assume they made a man gently caress the earth. A common sight out there on the range, but the real question is who is the lucky cowboy they got to do the deed?
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May 31, 2021 14:22
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Mooey Cow posted:So they say Uruk-hai are some kinda cross between orcs and men right? Who do you think it was that made love to an orc lady? Crush me tall orc mommy  
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May 31, 2021 14:49
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https://youtu.be/do9xPQHI9G0 here is a thing
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May 31, 2021 15:04
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They're made from trees, that means an orc had to gently caress an ent
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May 31, 2021 18:03
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SleepyK posted:Luthien, Idril, and Arwen were dumb for marrying men. Not only would you be chained to a mortal that lived an infintesimally shorter life than yourself, but you'd be condemning all your children and their children to mortality. Mortality is a curse; men are weak; CMV. Jack-Off Lantern posted:The Half Elven were allowed to choose. some humans too idril kept her immortality and tuor was granted it too
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May 31, 2021 18:23
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Weka posted:Goatse is like a metaphor for the one ring and mount doom. The whole point of the story was Sauron had no ring when he should have.
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May 31, 2021 18:39
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