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if youre going into a loving john wick movie expecting realism you deserve whatever disappointment you get
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May 29, 2021 20:36
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| # ? Apr 27, 2024 16:45 |
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i actually never saw any john wick movies but i watched 'nobody' by accident and im pretty upset by it
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May 29, 2021 20:40
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the thing that pisses me off is that you can compare any of them to a better movie and see how much the thing falls apart like eastern promises has an actual plot and layering of characters blue ruin has an equally unrealistic plot but bothers to put something identifiable in its antihero so it feels real even a history of violence puts a sex scene in there john wick / nobody guy gets real mad about a dog or bracelet or whatever. ohg also hes ex "super duper" secret agent with all the things they need all the time, but don't worry about that part its never anything more and theres never any more to it beyond shots of objects you dont think are going to enter someones body entering someone's body the korean ones are good GolfHole fucked around with this message at 20:48 on May 29, 2021 |
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May 29, 2021 20:46
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GolfHole posted:the thing that pisses me off is that you can compare any of them to a better movie and see how much the thing falls apart im not reading any of that bro go back to cd
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May 29, 2021 20:51
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ok i read it and now im actually more mad. gently caress u op.
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May 29, 2021 20:54
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god forbid someone goes to see a movie for the light entertainment of watching some poo poo get blown up do you bitch and moan about the plotlines in porn too? HE DIDN'T EVEN FINISH INSTALLING HER ROUTER!!!!!!!! WHERE'S THE SLOW-BURN ATMOSPHERIC PLOT HOOKS!??!?!!
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May 29, 2021 20:56
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Sounds like the problem was that you watched Nobody, which sucks, but not John Wick, which rules
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May 29, 2021 20:57
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plz reboot the blockbuster video subforum under gbs so i can banish the op from there
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May 29, 2021 20:58
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GolfHole posted:the thing that pisses me off is that you can compare any of them to a better movie and see how much the thing falls apart the point is that john wick kills a lot of guys in a cool way. all this other stuff doesnt matter.
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May 29, 2021 20:59
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going to mcdonalds and immediately complaining to the manager about a lack of a valet service
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May 29, 2021 21:00
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hbag posted:god forbid someone goes to see a movie for the light entertainment of watching some poo poo get blown up Who the hell gets laid from installing a router, that unrealstic nonsense would instantly kill my boner and myself
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May 29, 2021 21:00
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John wick killing unnamed bad guy with a router
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May 29, 2021 21:10
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I saw him kill a man with a USB stick. A loving USB stick.
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May 29, 2021 21:11
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John wick rolling up to one of those HUNDRED MAN GANGBANG film shoots and just fuckin blastin
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May 29, 2021 21:12
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Aardvark! posted:John wick rolling up to one of those HUNDRED MAN GANGBANG film shoots and just fuckin blastin Just double tapping a bunch of dudes with shirts on and no pants tugging away
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May 29, 2021 21:14
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op complaining there was no sex scene in john wick but when u r as sexy as john wick every scene w u is a sex scene
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May 29, 2021 21:16
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It's not that they're unrealistic or whatever, it's that they're boring. No reason to care about the characters, the action, or anything that happens. You could start watching at any random part of the films and still get the exact same out of it as you would if you watched from the beginning. The fight scenes have no stakes because Jon is infallible. They're directed in the most bland possible way. If there was an AI advanced enough to completely generate "action movie about a badass" then Jon Wick would be the result. ... and yet I don't hate the films, because Keanu is just that likeable. I believe that sums up their popularity.
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May 29, 2021 21:19
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The forgotten weapons dude petitioned to be in the next john wick movie being the guy giving john wick all his cool poo poo one time OP
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May 29, 2021 21:19
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id like to petition to be in John Wick as well 
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May 29, 2021 21:20
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Finish your guns OP, there are starving children in Africa.
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May 29, 2021 21:37
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EorayMel posted:The forgotten weapons dude petitioned to be in the next john wick movie being the guy giving john wick all his cool poo poo one time OP Make a Time Traveling John Wick movie, for an excuse to dress Keanu up in alot of period costumes, and have him fight with various melee weapons, like halberds.
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May 29, 2021 21:40
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thats it im watching ratatouille
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May 29, 2021 21:40
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If Wick used Nerf guns I'd like them a lot more. Just shots of dead gangsters killed by Nerf guns.
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May 29, 2021 21:41
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Johnny Aztec posted:Make a Time Traveling John Wick movie, for an excuse to dress Keanu up in alot of period costumes, and have him fight with various melee weapons, like halberds. they'd probably waste 2/3rds of the movie in Persia. Should definitely have him fighting pirates on ships. turning a cannon around on a guy, constantly ditching single shot pistols. now that'd be a good movie. and guess what: it doesn't matter at all why he's doing it
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May 29, 2021 21:42
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I was also underwhelmed by John Wick compared to all the praise it got. I kinda liked the idea of the special underworld hotel where you pay for your room in gold doubloons, but overall there's nothing about it that makes me want to watch it again or check out the sequels. The characters and drama aren't that remarkable, and they tried to keep the tone too grounded and serious to make it a fun, wacky adventure you might want to revisit again some day like a Jason Statham action movie.
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May 29, 2021 21:45
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the movie should just open with him at the hotel or w/e telling the elevator guy to take him to the chronomancy suite. he then loads up a katana and some ninja stars and walks through a door labeled "Feudal Japan". he then starts killing people for the next 2 hrs periodically leaving portals and getting different loadouts from some character actor that calls him Sir and asks him poo poo like "Will Sir have the bastard sword, or the claymore?" and John Wick takes one and does cool martial arts with it to test the balance before saying "Both" and that's the entire movie, no plot
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May 29, 2021 21:46
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I like the part when John Wick shoots the guy.Hector Delgado posted:If Wick used Nerf guns I'd like them a lot more. Just shots of dead gangsters killed by Nerf guns. Good news! It's been done already. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9MrnAJsxL8c
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May 29, 2021 21:48
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Khanstant posted:feel like if youre at the point of attacking john wick for not being realistic enough you're left with literally nothing else more realistic in action movies. a stupid unrealistic violent genre containing all the most boring movies This dude right here? This dude is the dude that shows up with Pokemon cards and says "Oh. How's the SPORTSBALL" when he thought this was gonna be a REAL party.
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May 29, 2021 21:50
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Johnny Utah was better than John Wick
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May 29, 2021 21:50
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Never seen a John Wick but bob odenkirk rules gently caress you op
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May 29, 2021 21:55
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Me w/ clipboard: Why are we here, op? OP: Bob Kirk owes me money Me w/ cb, shaking my head: I don't think so buster OP: Johnny 2 guns is 2 too many Me w/ cb, smh, grinning: not in my house, mouse OP: to lose weight so i can have sex w/ my wife Me w/ cb, smh, g, nodding therapeutically: weight is in the mind op
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May 29, 2021 21:57
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Baba Yaga BITCH
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May 29, 2021 21:57
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You know earlier in the thread I mentioned I watched Skyfall the other night, and this thread brought up plot holes, and I gotta tell ya. I know it's just a James Bond movie, so, hey. Take what you get, right? But, the plot hinges around the bad guy stealing a list of operatives working undercover around the world. Not just MI6, like, all allied agents working everywhere, alright? Ok. So, eventually the bad guy starts releasing names and some agents die. Then bond and him have sex and he dies and Bond goes back to London and kisses his new girlfriend and the movie ends. Alright great James Bond wins, fine, cool. Except HE NEVER RECOVERS THE drat LIST. The main bad guy had a literal army loyal to him to the death. He had London Metropolitan police loyal and waiting for him IN LONDON TO ATTACK MI6 with him. So now that he's dead...everybody just forgets about all these other people who obviously hate England/the western world/allies, are embedded in London and beyond, have access to heavy military tech AND still have the list of every embedded operative EVERYWHERE ON EARTH. And NO ONE cares about this? James Bond is safe and he's back in London so it's fine. That's fine. Roll credits don't worry about it. I mean there's plot holes, but this is like the British escaping at Dunkirk, making it back to England and declaring that was 'good enough, wars over, we got 'em'.
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May 29, 2021 21:57
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Inept posted:make a 15 minute youtube rant about it While sitting in the cab of your f-150 in the Burger King drive thru and you're wearing Oakley wrap arounds.
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May 29, 2021 21:59
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BIG FLUFFY DOG posted:Never seen a John Wick but bob odenkirk rules gently caress you op hes cool he didnt write the movie
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May 29, 2021 21:59
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do these movies feature any telekinesis abilities or other psychic abilities
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May 29, 2021 22:00
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I've never even heard of these movies but they've filled my heart with joy since they caused op to get dunked on AND super swirlied.
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May 29, 2021 22:02
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Oh Don Piano posted:do these movies feature any telekinesis abilities or other psychic abilities John Wicks dick is sentient and voiced by Chris Rock.
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May 29, 2021 22:04
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People watch these movies for the plot?
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May 29, 2021 22:05
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| # ? Apr 27, 2024 16:45 |
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john wick was okay but overratted imo. i think the reason everyone thinks john wick is so cool is because like a quarter of the movie is just other characters talking him up and/or acting intimidated by him. anyway if you wanna see an ACTUAL good movie i recommend Charlie Chaplin's The Gold Rush now that's a good movie
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May 29, 2021 22:07
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