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posted this in OP's previous wombat thread :Farmer Crack-rear end posted:"'Now, sir,' cried the Captain, striding into the great cabin, a tall, imposing figure. 'Now, sir,' - addressing the wombat, one of the numerous body of marsupials brought into the ship by her surgeon, a natural philosopher - 'give it up directly, d'ye hear me, there?'
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Jun 7, 2021 22:14
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MikeJF posted:Now the best you get is this i get a real sense of "welp. guess this is my life now. so it goes" from that wombat
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Jun 7, 2021 22:20
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the interesting thing about marsupials is every species has its own unique sphincter layout
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Jun 8, 2021 00:37
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Carlos Lantana posted:the interesting thing about marsupials is every species has its own unique sphincter layout True and each layout is associated with an evolutionary advantage in a particular ecosystem.
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Jun 8, 2021 01:40
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DarkSoulsTantrum posted:There were modern humans around 50,000 years ago. Maybe they used the massive poop cubes to build houses.
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Jun 8, 2021 01:56
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kangaroos stopped making GBS threads klein bottles for the same reason
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Jun 8, 2021 01:59
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Wombats. What are they, anyway? Not bats - not even close. Not woms! A wom? What the hell's a wom? I don't fuckin know. How's it goin everybody, how we doin tonight. Give it up for your host - give us a wave Spence. Give it up for the venue, welcome back to Big Hole, god it's nice to be back here. You all excited to be here? You all excited the pandemic's over? Pandemic. Man oh man. I kept telling my partner "Pandemic, sounds like a type of skin disease!" It never landed. Literally not one laugh, well over a year of making that joke. You all see these protests and stuff? drat. Man oh man. I watch this poo poo on the TV and I'm like, hit him better! Get that fuckin cop, kick his helmet off. I'm on my ninth slice of pizza like "it only takes 5 lbs of pressure to the patella to invert the knee dude!" And I still get called a social justice warrior. That's all it takes. THAT'S embarrassing. What the gently caress was I talking about? Wombats? No way. No way I started off with the Wombat thing. Phew. Wombats. Wombats are short legged muscular quadrupedal marsupials that are native to Australia. Wombats are about 40 inches in length with small, stubby tails and weigh about 50 pounds. There's three extant species and they are all members of the family Vombatidae. Seriously. They're adaptable and habitat tolerant, and are found in forested, mountainous, and heathland areas of southern and eastern Australia, including Tasmania. Wombats get depressed fairly easily - their specic philosophy is that God, for a given definition of universal truth or universally mutual aspiration, is the genuine and unfettered communication - the creation of genuine and complete mutual context between two wombats. This definition answers for anomalous behavior like a societal fascination with twins, talking about the weather, cultural touchstones, the notion of zeitgeist - wombats by their nature and behavior seem to assert that while construction of this absolute mutuality isn't technically possible, it's also all wombats strive for - it's everything, the why at the end of every long explanation of wombat behavior. As a rule, this is less prescriptive and more descriptive than other specic philosophies like "the golden rule" because it creates a goal, or drive, in every interaction - the extension of, commitment to, and fulfillment by that interaction. This philosophy is in many ways the classical death of ambition, and is responsible for some of wombats more anomalous and counterculture traits. With the audacious goal of fulfilling wombat connection, wombats infrequently DEconstruct - that is to say, they use their limited time only in constructive practice, both social and creative. Then, their biomes tend to prosper, their family units exist with a sense of intention, their lives propel one another like fire up branches, each licking flame passing on its heat to the upward bows of youth until the sparks crest the treeline and get one with starlight. In this way, wombats challenge and revolutionize the very - I'm gettin the light, you all have been awesome, thanks so much, thanks again - give it back up for Spencer, go easy on him it's HOT up here! Thanks everybody
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Jun 8, 2021 04:53
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Wombat fuxked his wife. Wombat did sex with his legally recognized wife
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Jun 8, 2021 04:53
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Sir Nose posted:Reminds me of the old joke: Older joke: Why is there a knob at the end of your dick? To stop your hand slipping off
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Jun 8, 2021 05:39
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Shiney McShine posted:Older joke: I heard the racist version of that joke. There was an international research study commissioned into the age old question of why there is a knob on the end of the penis. The Italians found that it was to give the man more pleasure during sexual intercourse. The French found it was to give the woman more pleasure during the act of making love. And the Australians found it was to stop your hand from sliding off the end of your dick.
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Jun 8, 2021 05:44
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Elburroman posted:Wombats. What are they, anyway? Not bats - not even close. Not woms! Go stick yer head up a dead wombat's bum.
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Jun 8, 2021 12:45
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BrigadierSensible posted:I heard the racist version of that joke. Three men - an Italian, a Frenchman and an Aussie (who loved wombats) - were talking about their lovemaking skills. The Italian says - when I finish making love with my girlfriend, I go down and gently tickle the back of her knees, and she floats up above da bed in pure joy... The Frenchman replies - zat eez nothing, when ah 'ave finished making lerv, ah kiss my girlfriend all ze way down her body and zen ah slowly lick the soles of her feet until she floats up higher above ze bed in pure ecstasy.. Not to be outdone, the Aussie bloke says - Jeez, thats narthing, when oiv finished shaggin me missus, I get up, go over to the window and wipe me dick on the curtains. And MAAATE .. She hits the loving roof. Long joke short - How do you make a woman scream after making love? Wipe your dick on the curtain. Here's a true Aussie yarn about wombats: In the hillbilly country around Wantabaggari in the Australian southern highlands, farmers found they had a terrible new problem with wombats. Conditions had been perfect for wombat breeding and the local wombat population had grown far too big. The bush was now so full of wombats that farmers were writing off their utes by colliding with them and the wombats were also wrecking farmers' crops and fences. By far the most damage caused by the wombats, was to the farmers' expensive livestock. Prized cows and sheep were often breaking their legs and dying after falling into the deep holes dug by the wombats. The farmers had had enough of the bloody wombats and unfortunately, they couldn't just get out their guns and kill them because wombats are a protected native animal species. News of the farmers' wombat problem reached some wildlife scientists at the CSIRO who came up with a plan to help and a town meeting was called. Even though many Wantabuggari farmers were distrustful of city based scientists, they were also pretty desperate, so many of them turned up to listen. The scientist who devised the plan stood up and told the crowded room that they would reduce the wombat population by putting out special baits that would take away the wombats sex drive. At this point in the meeting, farmer Bruce McGorry jumped up and exclaimed loudly, "You bloody scientists don't get it do ya? The flamin' wombats aren't rooting our livestock..."
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Jun 9, 2021 03:38
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Yeah, wombats are dope.
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Jun 10, 2021 10:48
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Square poop is nothing. You should GIS "echidna penis".
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Jun 10, 2021 11:56
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Wombats' deadly bums: how they use their 'skull-crushing' rumps to fight, play and flirt The rump of the wombat is hard as rock, used for defence, burrowing, bonding, mating and possibly violently crushing the skulls of its enemies against the roof of its burrow. Although the jury is still out on that one. https://www.theguardian.com/science/2020/nov/04/wombats-deadly-bums-how-they-use-their-skull-crushing-rumps-to-fight-play-and-flirt
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Jun 10, 2021 11:59
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