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Sitting Here posted:when i was a kid I thought condoms were just weird individually packaged balloons that adults kept in their bedrooms. I figured the balloons were boring colors because adults were boring Then one day there was a show on about unusual jobs and they brought in someone from QA in a condom factory, they demonstrated the process and I was like oh my god they unroll and they go over your this makes so much sense
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Jun 10, 2021 10:35
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I thought I invented tuggin. I was gonna become a millionaire dammit!
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Jun 10, 2021 11:00
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Prof. Crocodile posted:I used to believe that pee was stored in the balls. As a kid I used to genuinely believe that pee was, in fact, stored in the actual balls, and that if you didn't have balls you logically therefore didn't pee. Exactly what girls did in the bathroom was a total mystery.
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Jun 10, 2021 11:57
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TheMostFrench posted:Dot Matrix is the printer's name (I had an aunt named Dorothy, Dot for short). Similarly, learning about "grams" as a unit of measurement and not a grandmother was confusing for me
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Jun 10, 2021 12:21
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Bargearse posted:As a kid I used to genuinely believe that pee was, in fact, stored in the actual balls, and that if you didn't have balls you logically therefore didn't pee. Poop, gossip and apply makeup.
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Jun 10, 2021 14:09
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Defiance Industries posted:When I was about seven, my dad took me skiing. He pointed out one of the artificial snow machines that was running and I asked him how it could make snow if it wasn't cold enough for it to snow normally. He explained that the machine was using very finely sliced potatoes, and that there was a potato-melting chemical in them that would get rid of them in three days. Since I was a kid, I just nodded. I had seen what color potatoes were and they looked pretty white so it made sense they would blend in with snow. How much fake snow had you eaten by that point?
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Jun 10, 2021 15:20
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YeahTubaMike posted:Similarly, learning about "grams" as a unit of measurement and not a grandmother was confusing for me I love the idea of 1000 grams in a jar of coffee powder or something and thinking "how do they fit them all inside?!?!"
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Jun 10, 2021 15:46
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When I was super young and being driven around with the windows down, I would hear car noises coming from cars parked on the street. But they are parked, turned off, why would they be making any noise? Maybe they are bad cars that have to be on all the time like my Link to The Past cartridge with a bad battery or maybe they are very good cars that are always on so that you can just hop in and drive. Or, maybe it was noise from our car bouncing around...
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Jun 10, 2021 16:46
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I used to confuse my native word for adult with the word for washing. Don't ask, they're only one jumbled letter apart if you've barely learned to read and don't have a grasp of grammar. Bottom line, I'd read "only for adults" on things and believe they were only for people who washed. My mom eventually explained it to me but I just ended up believing you wouldn't have to wash until you were an adult.
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Jun 10, 2021 16:55
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My Lovely Horse posted:I wasn't sure for a very long time how they worked. I knew they were contraceptives and roughly how it all worked but I couldn't figure out how exactly the condoms entered into it. There used to be this PSA on TV where they looked like little gummy candy loops (they were in fact multicolored), so I sort of vaguely assumed they were a kind of medication, but I also always had a notion that that couldn't possibly be right. "I do QA at a condom factory  " would be a great (terrible) pickup line
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Jun 10, 2021 20:25
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Before I learned about the birds and the bees, and even a bit after, I thought that women just got pregnant spontaneously and that some women were "lucky" and had a bunch of kids and some were unlucky and just didn't, and that birth control was to keep yourself from randomly getting pregnant. So I guess I basically thought all women had the reproductive abilities of the dinosaurs in Jurassic Park.
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Jun 10, 2021 20:39
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people get more emotionally stable and self confident as they get older; maturity is roughly a function of age
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Jun 10, 2021 22:41
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Sunswipe posted:How much fake snow had you eaten by that point? I was convinced it was impossible to tell the difference, for some reason, so I never thought to try separating by taste.
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Jun 10, 2021 23:14
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Dogs are boys Cats are girls
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Jun 10, 2021 23:18
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The Bloop posted:Dogs are boys My father drove a Mazda and my mother drove a Toyota, so clearly Men/Women drove each respectively.
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Jun 10, 2021 23:31
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My Lovely Horse posted:I just ended up believing you wouldn't have to wash until you were an adult. I feel like there's a whole subthread to be had about stupid kid ideas you had about adult life/things you would have to do as an adult/mysterious powers you would have. As a little kid, I assumed adults just didn't vomit; after all, I never saw an adult puke, and I saw kids doing it all the time! I am still disappointed, on some level, that I never outgrew puking.
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Jun 10, 2021 23:38
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Novo posted:people get more emotionally stable and self confident as they get older; maturity is roughly a function of age Lol have you met boomers?
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Jun 11, 2021 00:16
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I thought Olmec and the Aggrocraig were real, and the kids had a fair chance at winning the prizes.
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Jun 11, 2021 00:20
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Antivehicular posted:I feel like there's a whole subthread to be had about stupid kid ideas you had about adult life/things you would have to do as an adult/mysterious powers you would have. I think I went at least a decade between the last time I was puking drunk as a student and running into what was probably Norovirus at 35; even longer if we count from the last time it wasn't alcohol. I did actually think about how happy I was to no longer have random bouts of stomach flu anymore. To make up for it, that round of Noro virus was so bad I was genuinely grateful when I found out I could crawl over and puke in the shower drain instead of having to find the energy to kneel by the toilet. Oh well, maybe I can manage another decade until next time? For content, I was sure the glass isolators on high voltage lines could be lit up on special occasions - they looked so festive they had to double as party lights, right?
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Jun 11, 2021 00:38
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Batterypowered7 posted:My father drove a Mazda and my mother drove a Toyota, so clearly Men/Women drove each respectively. Oh, that reminds me: I thought men drank tea and women drank coffee because that's what my parents drank. Confused the hell out of me when I noticed men drinking coffee on TV shows. Novo posted:people get more emotionally stable and self confident as they get older; maturity is roughly a function of age More mature or just give less of a poo poo about trivial poo poo? Although that could be the definition of maturity.
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Jun 11, 2021 00:48
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Novo posted:people get more emotionally stable and self confident as they get older; maturity is roughly a function of age I believed that until I hit my 30s and realised we all stopped maturing at age 14 and have been faking it ever since.
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Jun 11, 2021 04:46
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Linux Pirate posted:I thought Olmec and the Aggrocraig were real, and the kids had a fair chance at winning the prizes. Holy gently caress, Aggro-Craig is a top tier username.
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Jun 11, 2021 07:16
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Novo posted:people get more emotionally stable and self confident as they get older; maturity is roughly a function of age I can't believe how many people read this and completely failed to understand that it was a "dumb thing you thought as a kid" and not a statement of actual, current belief.
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Jun 11, 2021 10:17
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TheMostFrench posted:I love the idea of 1000 grams in a jar of coffee powder or something and thinking "how do they fit them all inside?!?!" I think you mean "how do they cram all that gram?"
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Jun 11, 2021 10:17
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I wouldn't say I believed it, but as a child I somehow stumbled into the paranoia that all adults might have the ability to read kid's minds, and I sort of knew they couldn't, but it always caused some level of panic when I was having inappropriate thoughts.
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Jun 11, 2021 11:15
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Lmaoing at all the idiots in this great thread As a brain genius my only error was that, after having seen a lot of insects fuckin if you catch them in a bottle, i figured that whole "thrusting" thing was only for show in porn to make it more obscene and you didn't really have to do that. Plus none of the books i read on the matter said anything specifically about any dynamics. Also for some reason all the other boys thought only girls got orgasms, but i had looked up the word in the dictionary so i knew the truth (gross) but they were like "no way, boys shoot sperm" Well i also thought you shouldn't wear a hat in church because that meant you were trying to hide your thoughts from god as if he couldn't see through the hat
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Jun 11, 2021 11:28
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A couple of women moved to our town. They had horses (and a pony!!) and me, my sisters and neighbour kid used to hang out at their stables all the time. One time I asked my best friend to come along, but she said that her mom didn't allow it because the nice women were lesbians. I thought "huh, that's weird, there's plenty of lesbians in our school and they seem alright. Her mom's dumb." Only later I realized that lesbians and laestadians are not the same. (Her mom was dumb still.)
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Jun 11, 2021 12:26
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Computer viking posted:I think I went at least a decade between the last time I was puking drunk as a student and running into what was probably Norovirus at 35; even longer if we count from the last time it wasn't alcohol. I did actually think about how happy I was to no longer have random bouts of stomach flu anymore. thread content: saw something on tv that mentioned Knott's Berry Farm. there's a berry farm near home where we used to go every spring. thought these were the same place and it was kinda bullshit that i never got to see their roller coasters (but assumed it was bc tickets for the coasters were too expensive for us)
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Jun 11, 2021 12:50
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InediblePenguin posted:i read somewhere that stomach flu is not a thing and we all used to get sick more often from routine minor food poisoning which has improved as public awareness of food safety has increased The way it spread among kids seems more like an infectuous disease, though? It would be slightly strange if half a class manages to get food poisoning at the same time, when primary schools in Norway require you to bring a packed lunch from home.
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Jun 11, 2021 13:19
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Stomach flu is real, you're thinking of "24 hour flu" which is called that because it has all the symptoms of stomach flu but it goes away in 24 hours (because it's just food poisoning)
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Jun 11, 2021 14:41
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Stomach flu is real but it's not flu
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Jun 11, 2021 14:45
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ah, thanks!
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Jun 11, 2021 15:09
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Slugworth posted:I wouldn't say I believed it, but as a child I somehow stumbled into the paranoia that all adults might have the ability to read kid's minds, and I sort of knew they couldn't, but it always caused some level of panic when I was having inappropriate thoughts. I remember having the paranoid suspicion that teachers had the ability to know what you were writing or drawing by listening to the sound of the pencil on paper. During a test when everyone was quiet they could hear what every kid was writing and knew what answers you got wrong before you even turned it in.
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Jun 11, 2021 17:17
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When I was a kid I used to think that girls had exactly the same arrangement as boys except inverted in that they would have a dip where the balls would be and be a hole where the penis would be right on the front. I was very surprised when I saw my first one up close that it looked like a small bum and then I thought they might poop out of that too. It wasn't until I was 7 or 8 when I saw my first porn mags that I had a slightly better, if not more warped, understanding. Also when it comes to TV lore, my cousin used to get mad when I left his nintendo running but turned the TV off. He thought that the TV might explode or get damaged because 'stuff' was coming from the nintendo still. Also, when I was really young, maybe 4 or 5 I used to wonder if the stuff I couldn't see actually existed. Sometimes I would try to turn my head really fast to catch it coming into existence from some kind of black blurry smoke.
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Jun 11, 2021 17:33
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Novo posted:people get more emotionally stable and self confident as they get older; maturity is roughly a function of age My dad would always be like "go away son, the grownups are talking" when I would come into the kitchen and try to engage with all his friends. I always imagined grownups were talking about things that were beyond the scope of children, like they would all sit down at the table and discuss ways to make the world a better place. Nope, they just wanted to concentrate on weighing the weed. The truth is seven or eight is about the most mature/intelligent anyone ever gets and it's all downhill from there.
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Jun 11, 2021 17:42
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Mooey Cow posted:Stomach flu is real but it's not flu Checks out. "Stomach flu" is gastroenteritis, which can be caught via contact with an infected person or by ingesting contaminated food or water. https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/viral-gastroenteritis/symptoms-causes/syc-20378847
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Jun 11, 2021 17:46
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I thought in a marriage that it was the woman's responsibility to do all the tax prep and bills and stuff because that's how my parents rolled. I was not looking forward to it because I inherited my Dad's poor sense for numbers/forms.
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Jun 11, 2021 17:48
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Ralph Hurley posted:I remember having the paranoid suspicion that teachers had the ability to know what you were writing or drawing by listening to the sound of the pencil on paper. During a test when everyone was quiet they could hear what every kid was writing and knew what answers you got wrong before you even turned it in. You might have developed this belief from when you were drawing dicks in your books in class. Teachers would "psychically" know this and walk to your desk to discipline you. You didn't realise it was your giggling that gave the game away.
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Jun 11, 2021 17:52
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When I was about 6 yo, my older sister came home from school and announced she wanted to be a brownie. (Brownies are the younger, pre-cursor to the Girl Scouts in the US) I thought she wanted be turned into an actual brownie, the chocolate dessert, and my mind envisioned an assembly line process with a conveyer belt and some kind of oven that cooked girls into tasty treats. I could not figure why my sister wanted to be turned into cake. I ran to my room crying. I don't know who was more confused, me or my mom trying to console me, trying to figure out what I was so upset about.
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Jun 11, 2021 19:21
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I can remember some of the very misunderstood lore of sex things from like first or second grade and one of them was that homosexuals were men who wanted to have sex with other men, but homo sapiens were men that just wanted to look at other men naked
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Jun 11, 2021 19:38
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