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Nikumatic
Feb 13, 2012

a fantastic machine made of meat
this is also why my favorite Special Texture Treat is gummi bears in either tart original yogurt or sweet cream marble slab ice cream, because the gummi bears freeze to an amazing solid consistency that slowly thaws as you chew and the fruity flavors go great with the simple bases

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Brawnfire
Jul 13, 2004

🎧Listen to Cylindricule!🎵
https://linktr.ee/Cylindricule

amaguri posted:

if you get the malted milk balls from like the bulk section of a Sprouts or equivalent, with 1/2" coating of real milk chocolate instead of the melty trash they use on Whoppers (note: I also enjoy Whoppers) it's like a revelation. I love real malted milk balls so much

also check out nuts.com for a bunch of different varieties of malt balls

Great advice! Thanks!

I also love peanut butter in ice cream for similar reasons, it hardens to these ribbonlike shards that melt in your mouth

So good

i say swears online
Mar 4, 2005



god dammit

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uber_stoat
Jan 21, 2001



Pillbug

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muscles like this!
Jan 17, 2005



At least Skittles are now free of this scourge.

Brawnfire
Jul 13, 2004

🎧Listen to Cylindricule!🎵
https://linktr.ee/Cylindricule

I think green should always be a different green flavor

Like, green apple, kiwi, white grape

Kale, celery, sage, jalapeno

Grass, tennis ball, uranium glass

WITCHCRAFT
Aug 28, 2007

Berries That Burn

Brawnfire posted:

I think green should always be a different green flavor

Like, green apple, kiwi, white grape

Kale, celery, sage, jalapeno

Grass, tennis ball, uranium glass

as someone who likes the buttered popcorn Jelly Belly beans

yes please

AARD VARKMAN
May 17, 1993

Brawnfire posted:

I think green should always be a different green flavor

Like, green apple, kiwi, white grape

Kale, celery, sage, jalapeno

Grass, tennis ball, uranium glass

I'd keep eating them hoping for cilantro

Brawnfire
Jul 13, 2004

🎧Listen to Cylindricule!🎵
https://linktr.ee/Cylindricule

Alas, coriander again

D34THROW
Jan 29, 2012

RETAIL RETAIL LISTEN TO ME BITCH ABOUT RETAIL
:rant:

WITCHCRAFT posted:

as someone who likes the buttered popcorn Jelly Belly beans

yes please

I used to like those until I realized they smell and taste like piss

Brawnfire posted:

I think green should always be a different green flavor

Like, green apple, kiwi, white grape

Kale, celery, sage, jalapeno

Grass, tennis ball, uranium glass

I would take vomit, even

indigi
Jul 20, 2004

how can we not talk about family
when family's all that we got?
tastes like piss, eh?

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uber_stoat
Jan 21, 2001



Pillbug
is there candy that glows under a black light? tried eating uranium glass marbles, do not recommend.

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Brawnfire
Jul 13, 2004

🎧Listen to Cylindricule!🎵
https://linktr.ee/Cylindricule

Phosphor gummies, radium pops

Wrong Theory
Aug 27, 2005

Satellite from days of old, lead me to your access code
Have the Crunchy Cookie M&Ms been around for awhile because I just discovered them. They're pretty good, remind me of the crispy M&Ms. The package also implies that it is an M&M cookie that is inside the M&Ms thus creating inception levels of candy.

WITCHCRAFT
Aug 28, 2007

Berries That Burn

D34THROW posted:

I used to like those until I realized they smell and taste like piss

I would take vomit, even

hazelnut coffee creamer smells like rodent piss

This is a forbidden knowledge you can't unsmell

sticky paper rodent traps even smell like hazelnut rodent piss

i'm sorry

WITCHCRAFT
Aug 28, 2007

Berries That Burn

Wrong Theory posted:

Have the Crunchy Cookie M&Ms been around for awhile because I just discovered them. They're pretty good, remind me of the crispy M&Ms. The package also implies that it is an M&M cookie that is inside the M&Ms thus creating inception levels of candy.

it is artificially flavored but I am excited to try them because the artificially flavored buttered popcorn crunchy m&ms and the artificially flavored cookies and cream crunchy m&ms from recent holidays were both good as hell

D34THROW
Jan 29, 2012

RETAIL RETAIL LISTEN TO ME BITCH ABOUT RETAIL
:rant:

WITCHCRAFT posted:

hazelnut coffee creamer smells like rodent piss

This is a forbidden knowledge you can't unsmell

sticky paper rodent traps even smell like hazelnut rodent piss

i'm sorry

Good thing i dont drink that swill. Only coffee creamer I use is the half cup of plain powdered that goes into my full pot every day.

Brawnfire
Jul 13, 2004

🎧Listen to Cylindricule!🎵
https://linktr.ee/Cylindricule

I used to use creamer but then I had a baby and started smelling all sorts of baby "notes" in the creamer and vice versa. Very off-putting.

WITCHCRAFT
Aug 28, 2007

Berries That Burn

Brawnfire posted:

I used to use creamer but then I had a baby and started smelling all sorts of baby "notes" in the creamer and vice versa. Very off-putting.

adding baby formula and protein powder and butter to my coffee to become a golden manbaby keto god





















is baby formula keto

i say swears online
Mar 4, 2005

no, babies need carbs

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Brawnfire
Jul 13, 2004

🎧Listen to Cylindricule!🎵
https://linktr.ee/Cylindricule

shoo, baby gains goblin

truth is babies need aged meat

i say swears online
Mar 4, 2005

in the form of a tiddy

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amaguri
Mar 27, 2010

Wrong Theory posted:

Have the Crunchy Cookie M&Ms been around for awhile because I just discovered them. They're pretty good, remind me of the crispy M&Ms. The package also implies that it is an M&M cookie that is inside the M&Ms thus creating inception levels of candy.

i am not convinced that these aren't just repackaged crispy M&Ms... they taste exactly the same to me

postmodifier
Nov 24, 2004

The LIQUOR BOTTLES are out in full force.
MOM is surely nearby.

WITCHCRAFT posted:

hazelnut coffee creamer smells like rodent piss

This is a forbidden knowledge you can't unsmell

sticky paper rodent traps even smell like hazelnut rodent piss

i'm sorry

It's straight up diacetyl, which does smell like milky garbage rodent piss

I work with em for a living and I will straight up let you know that hamster piss looks and smells like expiring buttermilk

And they just never stop just rolling around in it and getting it everywhere

The glue trap is likely acetate though, which is similar but doesn't have that lovely dairy undercurrent

Ask me anything about rodent urine

Chief McHeath
Apr 23, 2002

How's it taste?

postmodifier
Nov 24, 2004

The LIQUOR BOTTLES are out in full force.
MOM is surely nearby.

Chief McHeath posted:

How's it taste?

Imagine, if you will, movie theater popcorn butter mixed with just a little bit of floor cleaner, as a treat

Fartington Butts
Jan 21, 2007


postmodifier posted:

Imagine, if you will, popcorn jelly bellies.

Slider
Jun 6, 2004

POINTS
I like red vines

D34THROW
Jan 29, 2012

RETAIL RETAIL LISTEN TO ME BITCH ABOUT RETAIL
:rant:
Oh, so you like "candy" with less taste than red-dyed shoe leather

uber_stoat
Jan 21, 2001



Pillbug
i use red vines to brush my teeth after i eat an entire box of sour patch kids in under a minute.

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Admiralty Flag
Jun 7, 2007

to ride eternal, shiny and chrome

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2022

I miss Java-flavored Twix bars and Pretzel M&Ms. Those two were like the zeniths of American mass market candy, and IIRC they both were on the market at the same time in a golden age of confectionery.

These days though I rarely have any calorie budget to spend on sweets (losing my Covid weight) and when I do indulge it's something more substantial like a real dessert. My checkout lane treat, when I do get one, is usually a Mexican Coke when I go to Home Depot.

amaguri
Mar 27, 2010

Admiralty Flag posted:

I miss Java-flavored Twix bars and Pretzel M&Ms. Those two were like the zeniths of American mass market candy, and IIRC they both were on the market at the same time in a golden age of confectionery.


Hmm? Pretzel M&Ms never left us! praise be

Admiralty Flag
Jun 7, 2007

to ride eternal, shiny and chrome

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2022

amaguri posted:

Hmm? Pretzel M&Ms never left us! praise be

Must only be regional, goddamnit! Haven't seen them around in Seattle since I moved here. Will have to scout more carefully now that I know they're out there.

Where do you see them? For when I travel?

amaguri
Mar 27, 2010

Admiralty Flag posted:

Must only be regional, goddamnit! Haven't seen them around in Seattle since I moved here. Will have to scout more carefully now that I know they're out there.

Where do you see them? For when I travel?

maybe they're exclusively stocked at our nation's most hated retailers... I know for sure Walmart and Amazon still have them

indigi
Jul 20, 2004

how can we not talk about family
when family's all that we got?
I see them at Wawa occasionally but I think it’s due to supply chain issues

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Jenny Agutter
Mar 18, 2009

It’s hosed up what they did to sweettarts chicks ducks and bunnies. It makes me viscerally upset

ninjoatse.cx
Apr 9, 2005

Fun Shoe
Seasonal candy is one of those things that got super lovely and nothing good came in to replace it. Usually when something became lovely they came out with new stuff but now the old candy sucks and the new stuff sucks, too.

BaconCopter
Feb 13, 2008

:coolfish:

:coolfish:
I miss Wonka putting white "fruit punch" flavors for all of their candies around Christmas. Now it's only Nerds, which still slap, but I want the punch gobstoppers back :(

mlnhd
Jun 4, 2002

they cancelled jujubes. I just found this out but it happened like 6 months ago

I spent $50 on a British imitation product that should come next week

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Ugly In The Morning
Jul 1, 2010
Pillbug

Jenny Agutter posted:

It’s hosed up what they did to sweettarts chicks ducks and bunnies. It makes me viscerally upset

Wait what did they do? I’m not a big candy guy but I loved those things, the texture was different from the regular ones because of the surface area or something.

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