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LobsterMobster
Oct 29, 2009

"I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"
For title challengers (Note, of course, that no title match is official until the cage door closes and any champ could be stripped or an interim fight be made on a whim), Jan is supposed to fight Glover in October, and Amanda is matched up with Juliana Pena in August.

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LobsterMobster
Oct 29, 2009

"I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"
before i embiggened the picture, i thought it was going to be a riff of that star war meme thats been going around

LobsterMobster
Oct 29, 2009

"I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"
barboza vs giga chikadze in a kickfight being worked on for the fall

should be neat

LobsterMobster
Oct 29, 2009

"I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"
the follow up tweet of "fighters arent getting a cut of the 175mil deal, but maybe could do a commercial for 1/1000000 of some kind of coin is available" is peak ufc bullshit

LobsterMobster
Oct 29, 2009

"I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"
Dana invented mma in his basement 5 years ago

https://twitter.com/FullContactMTWF/status/1412808905755828226?s=19

LobsterMobster
Oct 29, 2009

"I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"
TUF Recap!

Episode 6: Let the Games Begin

Team Volkanovski finally has a win! That means Ortega is ready to freakin prank, bros. First prank is a 2-part prank (Classic prank set-up)

1. Put Volkanovski's car up on blocks outside the gym
2. Tie horses and donkeys to a tree outside the gym and put Team Volkanovski jerseys on them

EPIC PRANKAGE, MY DUDES!

Ortega says this translates to "shut the gently caress up". ok. Volko thinks it's hilarious.

Ricky Turcios home movie!

Ricky is out of Houston, Texas. He met his girlfriend of 7 years teaching BJJ, so that's nice. His mom is from the Phillipines, and he's proud of his heritage. Ricky trains out of Gracie Barra The Woodlands. Ricky fought on the Contender Series in 2017 against Boston Salmon, but didn't get the win or the contract.

Dan Argueta Fight Prep

The talk about Ricky's awkward style, and that Dan needs to stay calm and not get drawn into a fire fight.

Argueta looks a lil like a young Frank Shamrock to my ruined brain.

Dan Argueta home movie!

Dan is in LA, but originally trains out of New Mexico. Dan also trains out of a Gracie Barra affiliate.

Ricky Turcios fight prep!

Ricky thinks his main advantage is being comfortable fighting anywhere. Ricky says he's going to freestyle and flow in the cage, making for a banger with Dan. Ricky is looking forward to unleashing his signature move after the fight, the Hadouken.

Today's The Ultimate Fighter Flashback is....

Hey! Remember that time Marlon Sims and Noah Thomas had a backyard fight? Remember how Dana yelled that it was awful and disgusting? Well, check it out, here's that moment as hype and promotion! gently caress YEAH!

Guys, there are like 25 minutes left in the episode and we are at Fight Day. I think this thing is going looooooong. Dan shows off his dream journal, which is basically a mantra of "You are a laser-focused killing machine. You will destroy him". You know, totally normal things.

Tale of the Tape

Ricky Turcios
Age: 27
Height: 5'9"
Weight: 134.5lbs
Reach: 72"

Dan Argueta
Age: 27
Height: 5'7"
Weight: 135.0lbs
Reach: 70"

Round 1!

Both guys throwing some body kicks. Dan with a little flurry of hooks on the inside. Ricky with a "blooga-blooga" from range which does not draw a reaction from Argueta.

Ricky with a body kick-jab combo that he spams like 3 times in a row. Dan with another flurry. Ricky catches Dan coming in with a solid jab. Ricky drops down, Dan grabs a front headlock. Ricky pushes him to the fence, lands some elbows to the side of the head.

Ricky connecting with good straight punches, but Dan keeps moving forward. Clinch on the fence, Dan drags him to the ground. Ricky goes for a triangle, Dan defends, goes for a guillotine, Ricky escapes. Round ends with both dudes punching each other in the face. Very close round! Maaaaaaybe Dan by slim margins, but I can see it for Ricky just as well.

Round 2!

Ricky pushes Dan to the fence, lands some knees to the body. Dan breaks free and they reset in the center of the cage. Ricky forces Dan back again, Dan looks for a single leg, Ricky with some elbows to the head.

Dan looking for more clinches, but can't get a take down. Both guys landing solid punches to the face. These dudes are just trading back and forth. Dan gets a takedown, but Ricky goes for a triangle. Dan escapes, stuck in full guard.

Ricky tries to stand, rolls for a leg. Round ends with Ricky punching Dan in the leg. Another very close round. I dunno! Uhhhh, Dan maybe? Again, this could be 20-18 either dude, but overall, I'd say it is 19-19.

Round 3!

Dan shoots, Ricky defends. Ricky shoots, Dan looking for a guillotine, but doesn't have anything. Dan briefly looks for a wristlock, but can't isolate. Dan tries to get to his feet, but Ricky is trying to take his back. Ricky gets Dan's back and locks up a body triangle. Dan defends well, but Ricky eventually gets an arm across the neck. Dan escapes, looks for a guillotine, but doesn't get it. Round ends with Ricky throwing ground and pound and Dan launching upkicks. Round should go to Ricky

Winner, Ricky Turcios! Team Volko is now 2-4, baybeeeeeeee. Really good bout.

Fight selection!

Brady Hiestand vs Josh Rettinghouse

Pro tip when fighting Josh Rettinghouse, based on the 1 fight of his I've seen: Kick him in the leg until his leg dies.

LobsterMobster
Oct 29, 2009

"I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"
Volko posted a story on IG that him and Craig Jones found Ortega's keys during TUF and were going to do a car prank, but a producer said they couldn't mess with Ortega's car (even though Ortega put Volko's car on blocks previously)

So Volko and Jones just post a pic of them holding the keys, and per Volko, Ortega throws a hissy fit and wants to fight Jones

PRANKZ, BAYBEEEEEE

LobsterMobster
Oct 29, 2009

"I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"
https://twitter.com/chaddundas/status/1412874954979233792?s=19

Remember, when you think about the UFC Light Heavyweight division, think "trash truck"

LobsterMobster
Oct 29, 2009

"I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

GTO posted:

Is there much news from the Conor camp in the run up? He didn't seem to be in the embedded posted the other day.

Half expecting him to turn up with a beer gut...

He did an interview with Stephen A Smith. some bits ive seen clipped floating around twitter:

- conor going into a sputtering rage when Khabib gets brought up

- Conor saying he isnt a celebrity, he just breaks faces and bounces

- Claiming he only counts knockouts, so he is 19-1 and Dustin is 13-2

LobsterMobster
Oct 29, 2009

"I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"
I understand the need to take anything any fighter says with a grain of salt, but I believe Andre said he wrestled in the 3rd round because O'Malley's corner had taunted Andre into grappling

LobsterMobster
Oct 29, 2009

"I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"
Heartbreaking: the worst person you know just made a great point

https://twitter.com/jakepaul/status/1413273001152421889

LobsterMobster
Oct 29, 2009

"I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"
Leech vs Khamzat rumored for the end of October

could be neat, if it happens

LobsterMobster
Oct 29, 2009

"I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

Mrs. Dash posted:

I feel like someone got a bunch of used military trucks for cheap and didn't know how to make money off them so they decided to put a trash truck arm on em

every single police department in america has 6 mraps, so now they gotta pick up stinky trash :saddowns:

LobsterMobster
Oct 29, 2009

"I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"
Based on the post-fight presser, Dustin wants a 4th fight just because he feels Conor crossed some lines with the trash talk (like continuing to go the "i will kill you" route while sitting down with his leg all mashed up)

LobsterMobster
Oct 29, 2009

"I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"
My 2 fave Coach Kav brain genius moments are either:

1. Unprompted, he said MMA fighters should never throw a 1-2 combo

2. In an article talking to a ton of coaches, they were asked their biggest regrets. Kavanagh said he hates that when he was younger, he grappled with some big guys and hurt his back, so now it's harder for him to get on the floor to demonstrate technique. Otherwise, no complaints from ol' Johnny Kavs, tactics wise

Side note: Owen Roddy, the SBG striking guru, saying the team never prepared for/considered that Floyd would come forward in the Conor fight and that really threw them off is another gem that keeps rattling around in my noggin

LobsterMobster
Oct 29, 2009

"I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

moctopus posted:

I didn't fact check any of this.



For each guy's last 2, yes, those are all losses

if you simply plot the last 6, chronologically, Conor's win vs Cowboy sneaks in because Nate fights so infrequently

LobsterMobster
Oct 29, 2009

"I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

Gumball Gumption posted:

He's going to zag everyone and grapple.

He'll break his leg again.

He will try an Imanari roll, his foot will plant weird on the canvas, and his entire hip will displace out of socket

LobsterMobster
Oct 29, 2009

"I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

threeagainstfour posted:

*Conor looking down at his tibia mid fight*

"Gonezo"

:hellyeah:

LobsterMobster
Oct 29, 2009

"I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"
TUF Recap!

Episode 7: Friend or Foe

Current standings:

Team Volkanovski 2 wins
Team Ortega 4 wins

Dan and Ricky celebrate their banger of a fight by going Ninja Turtle on some pizza. Just guys bein' dudes, broin down hard, it's all love, baby. Meanwhile, Brady and Josh are sharing a hottub to cut weight and talk about how weird it is that two guys from the same town are on TUF, are room mates in the house, and are going to fight each other.

Josh Rettinghouse Fight Prep: Josh feels like he's the better grappler, having rolled with Brady back home. Ortega says Josh is a technical fighter who likes to throw strikes to feel out opponent, analyze them, and then formulate a plan of attack based on that.

Brady Hiestand Home Video: Brady is a volunteer firefighter out of Spokane, Washington. His family has a horse ranch. Hiestand's training comes by way of Sik-Jitsu, home of Michael Chiesa, as well as head coach, Rich Little, who has famously said he doesn't allow his fighters to block low kicks or body shots, because he is a massive idiot.

Brady Hiestand Fight Prep: Brady likes to throw a lead leg high kick, and he's got what looks like a solid submission game. Brady's plan is to pressure Josh standing, and if a takedown presents itself, he'll go to the mat and out-grapple Josh.

Josh Rettinghouse Home Video: Josh is also out of Spokane, and he's been at a CPA firm for 6 years. He trains at Warrior Camp, head coached by Pablo Alfonso. I don't claim to be the most knowledgeable person, but I've not heard of this gym or trainer. That doesn't necessary mean its bad, of course.

Weigh-ins go smooth, which is always good to see. Dana blathers about which friend wants it more, as if he's ever had to scrape and claw for something in his horrible life.

Toyo Tires TUF Flashback is...

Julian Lane's "let me bang, bro!" moment. It's real cool and good to slap a corporate sponsorship on what is clearly a troubled person's psychological breakdown.

Anyway, it is fight day!

Tale of the Tape

Brady Hiestand
Age: 22
Height: 5'8"
Weight: 135lbs
Reach: 71"

Josh Rettinghouse
Age: 31
Height: 5'6"
Weight: 135lbs
Reach: 67"

Another episode with the fight starting before the halfway point, which probably means a long one. Let's see if it is as good as Turcios versus Argueta.

Round 1

Brady opens with a nice right straight, he chases to a clinch on the cage. Josh goes for a trip, they scramble back to their feet. Josh catches a kick, Brady loses his footing and Josh looks for a front headlock. Lot of action very early!

Brady clinches Josh against the fence, both guys landing short strikes. Brady looks for a takedown, Josh defends. The ref yells about not grabbing the cage multiple times. Brady takes Josh's back.

Brady falls back for the RNC, Josh looks in trouble for a moment, but defends it. Josh escapes, eats some solid knees to the body and looks for his own takedown. Josh gets a takedown and tries to take Brady's back, but gets too high and Brady escapes. Round ends with Brady on Josh's back, landing punches. Round 1 should go to Brady.

Round 2

Brady eats a body kick and lands another solid right hand to open the round. He looks for the clinch and takedown, but Josh hits him a few times on the way in. Brady keeps the pressure up, re-establishes the clinch and takes down Josh. Brady looks to take the back, but Josh shucks him off.

Brady throwing a bit wild, Josh lands a good knee to the face. Josh with a stiff right hand, and starts landing some good uppercuts as Brady level changes. Josh defends against Brady's clinches, landing solid punches.

Brady finally gets hold of Josh and gets the take down, landing in full guard. Josh throws up a triangle, but Brady defends. Brady is spewing blood, but Josh gets back to his feet. Brady with another takedown with one minute left. Josh probably won that round to pull things even.

Round 3

Both guys throwing jabs. Brady tries to crash in for clinches, but Josh backs out. Brady clonks Josh with an accidental headbutt, cutting open Josh. Josh gets a takedown, but Brady stands back up.

Brady shoots, Josh sprawls. Brady keeps working and takes down Josh. Brady tries to take Josh's back against the cage. Brady gets a takedown and Josh looks for a very tired triangle as the round ends. Brady didn't do a lot with his takedowns, and Josh's striking was a little better, but I assume Brady takes this one. Another very good fight to watch!

Winner by split decision, Brady Hiestand. Team Volkanovski is now 3-4, bayyyyyybeeeee!!!

Fight Selection for next week: Gilbert Urbina vs Miles Hunsinger, the last preliminary bout of the show!

Next week: did Miles Hunsinger jack up his knee by kicking a guy in sparring and is he gonna be out of the fight? TUNE IN NEXT WEEK!

LobsterMobster
Oct 29, 2009

"I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

Hollandia posted:

Gun signs with his right, balloon animals with his leg

hot drat

LobsterMobster
Oct 29, 2009

"I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

blue footed boobie posted:

Conor has posted a video where he’s riding down the sidewalk in a motorized wheelchair and claims he had a stress fracture in his leg going into the fight. I don’t have any comment other than it’s a good source of unintentional comedy and you should watch it.

I saw that Kavanagh claimed there were injuries going into this one, and now Conor is saying people at UFC and doctors knew pre-fight he had those injuries.

LobsterMobster
Oct 29, 2009

"I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

BlindSite posted:

Some men fight for sport
Others fight for food

The only thing I'm fighting for
Is to pay my lawyers good

See my chest, see my chest
tatts of crowned gorillas are the best

Hear this trash talk, there's no better
Than authentic Irish banter

See my leg, it was shattered
Now my career is in tatters

Cry against the cage
opponents wife will hear my rage

MMA fans they all titter
while my agent locks my twitter

See my chest, see my chest
tatts of crowned gorillas are the best

MY GOD

LobsterMobster
Oct 29, 2009

"I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"
huh

https://twitter.com/AdamHillLVRJ/status/1416168294785044480

LobsterMobster
Oct 29, 2009

"I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

cagliostr0 posted:

I'm eagerly awaiting Conor to identify the black magic practitioner who cursed him

Theo Vonn put a voodoo curse on me from the front row

LobsterMobster
Oct 29, 2009

"I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"
The Ultimate Fighter Recap!

Episode 8: Fight or Flight

It's the last preliminary fight, and Team Volko has gone from starting 0-4 to 3-4. Can they pull even with the last bout of the quarter finals?

Gilbert Urbina explains how when he was growing up, he lived in a migrant camp.

Gilbert Urbina Home Video: Urbina is out of Mercedes, Texas. His brother Hector is a TUF 19 alumnus, and his brother Elias was on TUF 23. Hector lost to Cathal Pendred (Remember that guy? Oof), and Elias fell to Eric Spicely. Gilbert is looking to become the first Urbina to record a win on The Ultimate Fighter.

Miles Hunsinger Fight Prep! Miles feels he is well-rounded, but has more power than Gilbert. Ortega says he's ready for Miles to go out and have a war.

During sparring with Tresean, Miles hyperextends his knee throwing a kick, so he's going to get it looked at and possible treatment. Miles is told he has a tear, and he's trying to hide his injury at the house.

Gilbert Urbina Fight Prep! Urbina describes his fighting style as charismatic. He started with wrestling, moved to boxing, and is putting things together. Volko thinks Miles will primarily be looking for a blast double, so there's a lot of sprawl training going on for Gilbert.

Miles goes to the doctor for a reading of his MRI, and the doc asks if he wants a coach in the room with him (Uhhh, seems weird 2 me) and Miles declines that option. Miles has a grade 2 strain of the MCL, then says he's torn the MCL, but the other ligaments are fine. The doctor says a hit to the knee or a submission could make the injury worse. Miles is in a predicament about whether he should compete with an injury or not risk a worse injury that requires surgery.

Miles tries to warm up, but he notes that his knee feels like it's going to slip out frequently. He doesn't believe he can fight with shaky knees, so he's going to withdraw from the fight. Ortega says Miles will have a stigma he'll have to erase regarding this.

Dana calls in alternate Michael Gilmore, a moron who was not selected to be on the show, but he stayed in Vegas out of his own pocket (Quitting his salaried, insurance-providing job) on the off chance that he'd be called up. Dana, predictably loves idiots that are willing to sacrifice their lives for the gristmill. Dana gathers both teams in the gym and puts Miles on the spot to detail his own injury to everyone. Miles is now kicked out of the house.

Volko starts chirping at Ortega for laughing and cracking jokes before Dana showed up, basically feeling that Brian isn't taking the issue of Miles's injury very seriously. Ortega then shoots back with "would a good coach let an injured fighter fight?" which is interesting, since everything Team Ortega was saying to Miles basically amounted to "I mean, you could pull out, if you want everyone to know you're a pussy". Now Dana lies and says Miles had a MCL sprain, and then gives a talking head speech about how only the toughest stick it out in this sport and if you aren't tough enough, they'll find someone else.

Ryder tells Gilbert that he recalls watching some of Gillmore's fights, and that Michael looks tentative to throw his hands, doesn't like getting hit, and has a wrestling stance. Michael explains that he likes striking and his last fight nearly won via low leg kicks.

Weigh-ins once again go off without a hitch, so that's good to see.

Today's The Ultimate Fighter Flashback is...

Court McGee telling his story of addiction and sobriety and his whole entire comeback run on TUF. :unsmith:

Fight day is here! There are only 15 minutes left in the episode, so it'll either be a 2-round decision, or a second round stoppage, probably.

Tale of the Tape

Gilbert Urbina
Age: 25
Height: 6'3"
Weight: 185.5lbs
Reach: 74"

Michael Gillmore
Age: 34
Height: 5'11"
Weight: 185.5lbs
Reach: 74"

Round 1

Gilbert jabs, catches a kick and takes down Gillmore. Urbina gets Gillmore's back standing. They go to the ground, Urbina lands a few strikes. Urbina gets a half nelson going and Mike looks halfway between lost and frustrated. Team Ortega starts chirping the ref about 12-6 elbows, and the ref is having NONE OF IT.

Gillmore tries elbowing Urbina's shin, and he gets rear naked choked out for that tactic. This is Gillmore's 4th submission loss.

WELP! We are all tied up, 4-4, bby!

Semi-final matchups are set!

Middleweights:
Bryan Battle vs Andre Petroski
Gilbert Urbina vs Tresean Gore


Bantamweights:
Ricky Turcios vs Liudvik Sholinian
Brady Hiestand vs Vincent Murdock

Those bouts should be pretty decent.

LobsterMobster
Oct 29, 2009

"I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

kimbo305 posted:

I'm assuming Miles called it a tear in front of the teams? Did the doctor talk directly about whether it was a tear or strain? I could see Miles not really drawing a distinction between the two.

Further, is there any hint that Dana talked to Miles 'backstage' or to the doctor directly, provided Miles gave consent etc?
Not trying to give Dana any benefit of the doubt, just want to understand the sequence by which he went with calling it a sprain.

So here's the sequence of events, as shown:

Miles goes to get his MRI read. The doctor says it is a grade 2 strain, then points out which ligament in question is the medial collateral ligament, noting "you've torn this ligament here, which is pretty important"

Then, after Miles tests things out in the gym with his team, he tells Ortega he's incapable of fighting with a compromised knee.

Then we get a Dana White talking head interview, and he says "Ortega and his coaches called me in, and they told me Miles Hunsinger has a MCL tear in his knee"

Then everyone is gathered in the gym, Dana walks in with Gillmore, and tells Miles to tell everyone what's up. "I tore my MCL" is what Miles says.

When Miles leaves, Volko calls out Ortega for being so nonchalant about the situation, and Dana clarifies "He was cleared by the doctor, he had a sprain, but the pain was too much"

LobsterMobster
Oct 29, 2009

"I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

Scapegoat posted:

How's Volk coming off in TUF? Are either of them likeable?

Might be my own anti-Ortega biases, but Brian seems like a dink and Volko seems pretty good. The story about the car prank, if true, is ridiculous from Ortega.

LobsterMobster
Oct 29, 2009

"I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

Cyber Dog posted:

Dana and the UFC did that Miles guy so dirty. I'm assuming that Dr. was in the UFC's pocket because no normal state commission would have cleared him to fight.

His chyron came up as "UFC chief physician", so yuuuuuuup

LobsterMobster
Oct 29, 2009

"I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"
also, check out Dustin on the latest episode of Teddy Atlas's podcast, it is p good

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uYRnh5tXdOQ

LobsterMobster
Oct 29, 2009

"I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

Hollandia posted:

lol of course. Surprised they don't have Mike Rowe on to make the fighters sign his lovely pledge.

Rowe did narration work for some of the early seasons on Spike

LobsterMobster
Oct 29, 2009

"I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

Brut posted:

lmao just from the record I thought you were talking about Colby, but looks like that's not the case. Yeah I have no idea, hmm.

talkin bout the chimney man's best friend

LobsterMobster
Oct 29, 2009

"I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

DoombatINC posted:

This is an odd thing to say, even for a cokehead that gets bludgeoned for a living

He's referring to Khabib's comment after the last Dustin fight, "good always defeats evil"

LobsterMobster
Oct 29, 2009

"I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"
Like, imagine the outcome if there wasnt an imperative to stop twisting your neck and the guy who twisted your neck real hard the last time had even more of a reason to not want to let go

LobsterMobster
Oct 29, 2009

"I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"
I mean, other than to the back of the head and to the groin, punches are always a viable option. These dudes could just punch

Or, if they wanna throw knees, move to like, back side control and destroy the ribs, like GSP did to Serra in the rematch.

I can't think of any position/set up where there are no legal attacks available, only illegal techniques

LobsterMobster
Oct 29, 2009

"I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"
if i put myself into a guillotine and i dont know how to get out, it's your fault if i jab my grubby lil gremlin claws in your eyes to try and escape, that's just fair

LobsterMobster
Oct 29, 2009

"I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"
The Ultimate Fighter recap!

Episode 9: Clocked

Things are all tied up going into the semi-finals, baby! Both Volko and Ortega lost their #1 bantamweight picks, so that's fun!

Bryan Battle and Ricky Turcios are ~V I B E B R O S~, hanging out by the pool, talking about life and whatnot. We move to Team Ortega's morning practice session, and there's, uh, no Coaches from Team Ortega. One of the fighters says "You know they won't be here for another 40", so I guess T-City is a municipal district without a single clock. Rettinghouse says "we just learned to deal with it"

As a prank, Volko stuffs the Ortega locker room with clocks and put "Ortega Time: Better Late Than Never" posters up. Ortega is adamant that the prank is not good and also lame.

Liudvik likes Ricky and his crazy style. Volko says Ricky is a weird and also cool dude. Ricky wants to stay behind his jab, a theory that could put him among the smartest MMA strikers in a long time. Ricky's key for his victory is to be unpredictable in the cage.

Dana says because the fights have been so good (they honestly have), he is going to give the semi-finalists a reward: a call home, you know, like if they were prisoners. Liudvik is very appreciative seeing his family again, noting that it doesn't matter if he wins or lose, these are the people who have been with him from the beginning, and will be with him until the end. :3: Liudvik asks what's going in the world, and his friends say Elon Musk populated Mars. Fun times with the Sholinians!

Ricky calls his dad in El Salvador, and they reconnect in a very touching manner. Ricky's dad says he's been sending his son good vibes and energy every day, so that's where Ricky gets it from. They end the call with both men double bicep flexing, shouting LET'S GO to each other. Hell yeah, baby!

Both guys make weight with no issues. Kemran calls this potentially the fight of the season.

Today's The Ultimate Fighter Flashback, presented by Toyo Tires (Remember when it came out that UFC was going to reward whoever got KO, submission, and Fight of the Year a new set of Toyo tires, and that's it, that's all they received as a bonus?) is Jon Gunther from season 27, Cormier vs Miocic. Gunther is the weirdo who shears alpacas for a living. Isn't it wacky to be involved in such a profession?? Gunther got choked unconscious almost instantly in his first fight. Wacky!

Uh, anyway, it's fight day. We got 20+ minutes left on this one, so expect a 3-rounder, friends. (Oh, the semi-finals are already set for 3 rounds. Well, don't expect sudden victory, then)

Tale of the Tape

Ricky Turcios
Age: 27
Height: 5'9"
Weight: 135.00lbs
Reach: 72"

Liudvik Sholinian
Age: 31
Height: 5'8"
Weight: 135.50lbs
Reach: 70"

Round 1

Ricky trying his yell "ablooga blooga" technique to draw out feints, to no reaction from Liudvick. Both guys throwing single shots, jabs and low kicks. Ricky rushes in with a combo, misses everything but the last strike, a nice body kick.

Ricky pops Liudvik coming forward with a solid jab. Both guys getting a little brawly. Ricky shoots for a takedown, gets Liudvik against the fence. Clinching on the cage, little flurries of punches. Liudvik separates, and we're back to distance striking.

Ricky using the jab well, Liudvik with a stiff cross. Ricky goes in for the clinch against the cage. Few punches in the clinch, but they separate again with under one minute in the round.

Ricky starts landing good shots, Liudvik looking a little hurt against the fence. Ricky should take that with his output at the end of the round. Liudvik has a cut near his hairline, he claims it's from a clash of heads.

Round 2

Ricky pumping his jab. Liudvik keeps pulling straight back to escape. Liudvik shoots a double and gets the takedown. Ricky throwing elbows from bottom. Ricky elevates with his butterflies and gets back to his feet.

Liudvik clinching Ricky against the fence. They separate, back to distance striking. Ricky pressuring forward. Both guys trading jabs. Ricky shoots, Liudvik sprawls, Liudvik gets top position in the scramble. Ricky explodes, looking for Liudvik's legs. Liudvik tries to take Ricky's back. Scramble, both guys grabbing, but they get back to standing.

Liudvik with another takedown, Ricky rolls, but Liudvik has mostly taken Ricky's back. Another scramble, back to standing. Ricky pushing Liudvik against the fence. Round ends with both men throwing. Tougher round. Liudvik didn't do a whole lot with his grappling. I could see it 19-19, but Ricky being up 20-18 is a strong possibility.

Round 3

Ricky yells LETS' GO at the start of the round. Both guys exchanging punches. Ricky shoots, Liudvik sprawls, Ricky rolls, and we're back to standing.

Liudvik starts winging these overhand, slapping punches. Ricky with a good jab and low kicks. Ricky rips to the body, landing elbows to the face. Ricky landing some nice 1-2s, Liudvik throwing back, but not landing as much, or as cleanly.

Liudvik getting tagged consistently, and Ricky is avoiding most of the return fire. Liudvik shoots, Ricky sprawls. Ricky cements his Max Holloway status by pointing to the center of the cage with 30 seconds to go and inviting a brawl. He gets tagged with some hard shots, but lands against Liudvik. Round 3 and the fight should go to Ricky.

Winner: RICKY TURCIOS

God dang, that was a great fight!

After the fight, it seems like a producer is trying to get "just one quick question" answered by Liudvik, but he's not in the right state, mentally, to answer, so he bails. Good on him, man.

NEXT WEEK! Team challenge. It looks like their are changing tires. Uh, ok. sure. Also, Bryan Battle vs Andre Petroski in middleweight action!

LobsterMobster
Oct 29, 2009

"I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

kimbo305 posted:

Doesn’t she live in FL?

yarp

LobsterMobster
Oct 29, 2009

"I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"
W E L P

https://twitter.com/MMAjunkie/status/1421151123541422088

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LobsterMobster
Oct 29, 2009

"I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

beep by grandpa posted:

While I love Gaejthe and his fights are always fun, I worry for him cause I can't think of a single fight of his save the Tony Ferguson beatdown where he didn't get completely rocked and nearly out on his feet flashing gold press E to Glory Kill at some point in the fight

Vick got him with some front kicks to the body, but he never really looked rocked.

Cowboy was a quick kill, and so was Barboza.

Certainly nothing like the Johnson, Alvarez, Poirier fights.

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