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2024. The Coca Cola corporation runs for the office of President of the United States. In a shocking move it announces Pepsi Cola as its Vice President. The methodology is simple - anyone who does not love Coca Cola loves Pepsi Cola. The pair is a shoe-in and wins by a landslide. Four months later Pepsi Cola declares bankruptcy, a shock to everyone. The Juul Corporation moves in as a replacement Vice President. The U.S. Government, by now synonymous with Coca Cola, deciphers the secret Pepsi Cola formula and begins manufacture of it. Pepsi Cola soon flows freely through taps and faucets across America. By the next year, people bathe in Pepsi Cola. They brush their teeth with Pepsi Cola. Babies are nursed on Pepsi Cola. You think this was a bad branding move by Coca Cola? WRONG! With Pepsi Cola converted to a public service, the American People rush out their doors to spend their hard-earned money on Coca Cola - the better one, the Presidential one. |
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Jul 4, 2021 00:26
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| # ¿ May 14, 2024 17:31 |
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The U.S. Government officially remixes the concept of a Soda Fountain and includes their new technology in every type of Fountain on earth. Soon enough, international law forbids the flow of any other liquid through a fountain. |
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Jul 4, 2021 00:27
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In a State of the Union Address, the Coca Cola company announces that the name of Cocaine will be changed to something less similar to a U.S. staple such as Coca Cola. This is important to clean up America's image, it says. The new name hasn't been finalized yet, but among the frontrunners are Barq, Faygone, and Jone. |
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Jul 4, 2021 00:30
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The United States briefly considers rebranding itself as "New U.S." in an attempt to be more appealing to foreign governments. It would be the same government, but with a little more sweet talk and a new name. |
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Jul 4, 2021 00:32
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Yeah actually this thread is not a joke and was based on the realization that corporations count as people and they meet all the requirements for running for president of the US. |
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Jul 4, 2021 21:05
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President Coca-Cola doesn't fly in Air Force One. All the turbulence makes the president fizz, and that's not a great public image. |
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Jul 5, 2021 01:31
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| # ¿ May 14, 2024 17:31 |
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WithoutTheFezOn posted:George A&W Bush. |
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Jul 5, 2021 23:58
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