NFC West 2021: Enter the Runderdome

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Football Funhouse > NFC West 2021: Enter the Runderdome

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Its Rinaldo: Aug 13, 2010; CODS BINCH

Qwijib0 posted:

Somebody take this av or i will!

# ? Aug 12, 2021 00:48

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# ? May 6, 2024 08:09

Bob Socko: Feb 20, 2001

Spoeank posted:

Art, it�s a work of art.

# ? Aug 12, 2021 02:13

half cocaine: Jul 22, 2019

Qwijib0 posted:

A work of art

# ? Aug 12, 2021 04:52

Nit Wit Dog Shit: Sep 28, 2000; Toilet Rascal

DariusLikewise posted:

Jake Funk is going to rush for 1300 yards this year

You have an extra zero in there.

# ? Aug 12, 2021 05:16

algebra testes: Mar 5, 2011; Lipstick Apathy

Spoeank posted:

Lmao

# ? Aug 12, 2021 12:01

Gonz: Dec 22, 2009; "Jesus, did I say that? Or just think it? Was I talking? Did they hear me?"

Matt Prater 4 for 4 on field goals tonight, including a 48 yarder, and the game winner as time expired.

The Cardinals might, MIGHT, have fixed their kicking issues.

# ? Aug 14, 2021 07:32

Qwijib0: Apr 10, 2007; Who needs on-field skills when you can dance like this?; Fun Shoe

Prater was a good pickup

# ? Aug 14, 2021 15:30

rjmccall: Sep 7, 2007; no worries friend; Fun Shoe

I am happy for the Cardinals (because they beat the Cowboys)

# ? Aug 14, 2021 23:28

Waltzing Along: Jun 14, 2008; Can't post for 19 hours!

Trey Lance.

# ? Aug 15, 2021 02:05

DariusLikewise: Oct 4, 2008; You wore that on Halloween?

Remember in the 2018 season when Jimmy G, Jared Goff and Josh Rosen were the future of the NFC West lmao

# ? Aug 15, 2021 02:56

Coldforge: Oct 29, 2002; I knew it would be bad.
I didn't know it would be so stupid.

DariusLikewise posted:

Remember in the 2018 season when Jimmy G, Jared Goff and Josh Rosen were the future of the NFC West lmao

Thus entered the runderdome.

# ? Aug 15, 2021 03:21

DancingMachine: Aug 12, 2004; He's a dancing machine!

Seahawks with 2 yards rushing in the first half. A shameful display.

# ? Aug 15, 2021 03:46

Nit Wit Dog Shit: Sep 28, 2000; Toilet Rascal

Glad to see Justin Lawler had a good game.His press conference was very insightful. Seems like an upstanding dude.

JuJu Hughes and Kareen Orr showed up, too.

Jake Funk is junk (although he was running behind an awful second team o-line).

And Bryce Perkins, so far, is the clear number 3 QB after week one preseason. Duck looked awful.

# ? Aug 15, 2021 07:10

Mustached Demon: Nov 12, 2016

DancingMachine posted:

Seahawks with 2 yards rushing in the first half. A shameful display.

Only 68 yards rushing for shame, Seattle.

# ? Aug 15, 2021 22:02

DariusLikewise: Oct 4, 2008; You wore that on Halloween?

Nit Wit Dog poo poo posted:

Glad to see Justin Lawler had a good game.His press conference was very insightful. Seems like an upstanding dude.

JuJu Hughes and Kareen Orr showed up, too.

Jake Funk is junk (although he was running behind an awful second team o-line).

And Bryce Perkins, so far, is the clear number 3 QB after week one preseason. Duck looked awful.

The backup O-linemen are awful, I think Perkins looked better by the fact he's way more mobile than Duck. Bobby Evans really proving why the Rams made a last second change putting Brian Allen back at Center and shifting Corbett to guard.

Special Teams looks way better under DeCamillis, minus the missed kicks, as well. Kick returns could use a little work as well, but it all looked way better than the disaster that was last year.

# ? Aug 15, 2021 22:30

DariusLikewise: Oct 4, 2008; You wore that on Halloween?

The Athletic put Aaron Donald at number 24 on their "Top 100 Greatest NFL Players Ever" list and I can't decide if that's too high or too low.

# ? Aug 16, 2021 17:14

Benne: Sep 2, 2011; STOP DOING HEROIN

DariusLikewise posted:

The Athletic put Aaron Donald at number 24 on their "Top 100 Greatest NFL Players Ever" list and I can't decide if that's too high or too low.

It will probably be too low by the time his career is done. He already has a HOF resume and he barely just turned 30.

For reference, here are the other NFCW guys on the list so far

49ers

83. Leo Nomellini
49. Steve Young

Rams

70. Marshall Faulk
40. Eric Dickerson
30. Merlin Olsen
24. Aaron Donald

Seahawks

64. Walter Jones

Either Larry Fitz didn't make the cut or they have him way higher than I was expecting.

# ? Aug 17, 2021 02:17

half cocaine: Jul 22, 2019

Cool. I can't wait until these boomers rate their 100 best sports cars ever.

# ? Aug 17, 2021 02:22

Cat Hassler: Feb 7, 2006; Slippery Tilde

Benne posted:

30. Merlin Olsen

I enjoyed his performance in Mitchell

Guess I shouldn�t be surprised Walter Jones is the only Seahawk on the list since it�s only 100 players but thought maybe Largent would be in there

# ? Aug 17, 2021 02:31

shirts and skins: Jun 25, 2007; Good morning!

Benne posted:

Either Larry Fitz didn't make the cut or they have him way higher than I was expecting.

He's second all time in yardage, I think he's gonna be pretty high.

# ? Aug 17, 2021 02:52

poly and open-minded: Nov 22, 2006; In BOD we trust

half cocaine posted:

Cool. I can't wait until these boomers rate their 100 best sports cars ever.

You gotta get triples of the Barracuda. Triples is best.

# ? Aug 17, 2021 16:50

Tank44: Jun 13, 2005; We want the ball & We're going to score

Any of you all interested in my Seahawks preseason tickets for the game this weekend, Sat Aug 21st vs Denver Broncos. I have 4 and can likely wrangle up 2 more in front of the others. Willing to get rid of these for $80 per pair which is half price or best offer. Sec 314, row W on the aisle.

May also be selling off the other preseason game vs Chargers the following week too.

Tank44 fucked around with this message at 18:42 on Aug 17, 2021

# ? Aug 17, 2021 18:38

Bob Socko: Feb 20, 2001

boom

https://twitter.com/rapsheet/status/1427691952737329152?s=21

All that's left is throwing Brown some extra money and we're all set for the season.

# ? Aug 17, 2021 19:12

Lifespan: Mar 5, 2002

Thank god. I was reading an article this morning about how they are going to keep tagging him after this season and he will fight them on getting labelled as a safety with that tag. That's about the price I think people expected to see. Now restructure Wilson.

# ? Aug 17, 2021 19:24

half cocaine: Jul 22, 2019

Please God, don't let Jamal get injured.

# ? Aug 17, 2021 19:30

King Hong Kong: Nov 6, 2009; For we'll fight with a vim
that is dead sure to win.

Benne posted:

It will probably be too low by the time his career is done. He already has a HOF resume and he barely just turned 30.

For reference, here are the other NFCW guys on the list so far

49ers

83. Leo Nomellini
49. Steve Young

Rams

70. Marshall Faulk
40. Eric Dickerson
30. Merlin Olsen
24. Aaron Donald

Seahawks

64. Walter Jones

Either Larry Fitz didn't make the cut or they have him way higher than I was expecting.

Steve Young that low is an awful take.

# ? Aug 18, 2021 00:30

Waltzing Along: Jun 14, 2008; Can't post for 19 hours!

King Hong Kong posted:

Steve Young that low is an awful take.

Yep. He was arguably #1 QB of all time before they turned on easy mode for passing in the 00s.

# ? Aug 18, 2021 01:05

Spoeank: Jul 16, 2003; That's a nice set of 11 dynasty points there, it would be a shame if 3 rings were to happen with it

https://twitter.com/49erswebzone/status/1427772535014309893?s=19

Ladies and gentlemen we got him

# ? Aug 18, 2021 01:08

EmbryoSteve: Dec 18, 2004; Taste~The~Rainbow

My blood sugar is gon' be like

~^^^^*WHOA*^^^^~

Spoeank posted:

https://twitter.com/49erswebzone/status/1427772535014309893?s=19

Ladies and gentlemen we got him

Misssionaccomplishedbanner.jpg

# ? Aug 18, 2021 01:17

MakaVillian: Aug 16, 2003; Well, in Whoville they say - that his tiny hands grew three sizes that day.

Unfortunately I'm going to have to bring down the mood. The Shanahat is no more:

https://www.nbcsports.com/bayarea/49ers/kyle-shanahan-switches-game-day-attire-ditches-shanahat

# ? Aug 18, 2021 01:29

half cocaine: Jul 22, 2019

Spoeank posted:

https://twitter.com/49erswebzone/status/1427772535014309893?s=19

Ladies and gentlemen we got him

I wasn't aware that the covid vaccines also cured malignant conservatism.

# ? Aug 18, 2021 01:48

Mustached Demon: Nov 12, 2016

half cocaine posted:

I wasn't aware that the covid vaccines also cured malignant conservatism.

He's now powerless in chud circles. Basically the Mitt Romney of pass rushers.

# ? Aug 18, 2021 02:20

half cocaine: Jul 22, 2019

Mustached Demon posted:

He's now powerless in chud circles. Basically the Mitt Romney of pass rushers.

Inshallah Bosa tears something really important in his knees and he can gently caress off forever.

# ? Aug 18, 2021 02:29

Spoeank: Jul 16, 2003; That's a nice set of 11 dynasty points there, it would be a shame if 3 rings were to happen with it

Goddamn literally shut the gently caress up we get it

# ? Aug 18, 2021 02:51

EmbryoSteve: Dec 18, 2004; Taste~The~Rainbow

My blood sugar is gon' be like

~^^^^*WHOA*^^^^~

half cocaine posted:

Inshallah Bosa tears something really important in his knees and he can gently caress off forever.

Yeah this is a bit much. I just hope he just sucks I playing the football game

# ? Aug 18, 2021 03:41

Waltzing Along: Jun 14, 2008; Can't post for 19 hours!

Man, I wish my team had Bosa. Can't say that, though. Um. He's not vaccinated! He's a chud. poo poo, he just sacked my QB!

# ? Aug 18, 2021 04:29

MakaVillian: Aug 16, 2003; Well, in Whoville they say - that his tiny hands grew three sizes that day.

Kyle Juszczyk is in the NFL Top 100 :dukedoge:

# ? Aug 18, 2021 12:41

Benne: Sep 2, 2011; STOP DOING HEROIN

WYTS did the Cardinals today and it didn't disappoint https://defector.com/why-your-team-sucks-2021-arizona-cardinals/

quote:

Another season of Dimestore Gosling calling naked bootlegs while his QB has one leg dangling behind him. #Innovative

quote:

When you make a Pro Bowl, you guarantee yourself a lucrative Cardinals contract seven years down the line.

quote:

Our QB cannot see his receivers downfield or between the hashes because he�s the size of my five-year-old.

quote:

Being from the UK, I had a free choice when it came to my NFL team. A combination of liking the colour red, having pet birds and being a weird kid led me to be a Cardinals fan.

In the 32 years I�ve been a fan, there�s been more seasons where they won four games or fewer (seven) than winning seasons (six).

quote:

The poo poo-eating GM refuses to commit to anything or anyone useful unless it�s signing 2015�s best free agent class in 2021.

I made the finals of my 2011 fantasy league, with a couple hundred dollars at stake. My QB options were Matt Flynn and John Skelton. Guess which one I chose.

quote:

One of the best wide receivers this trash fire of a team has ever had got infected by brain worms and now is thinking that he�d rather retire than get vaccinated.

quote:

The best period in Cardinals history is a footnote in Kurt Warner�s career.

The only reason we aren�t catching more poo poo for completely falling apart last season is because the Houston Texans got tricked into standing next to us.

On the plus side, no team is more representative of its surrounding population. Most of the people both on the Cardinals and in Arizona peaked years ago and probably shouldn�t be around anymore.

quote:

Highlights from last season include:

Lost a game to Matt Patricia

Never beat the Rams

Started with a 5-2 record, only to finish 3-6 and miss the playoffs (two of those losses were to CJ Beathard and John Wolford)

Made Tua Tagovailoa and Jalen Hurts look like offensive rookie of the year contenders (both QBs were benched as soon as they played real NFL teams)

And let�s not forget my personal favorite: down 11 with 5 minutes to go in a must-win game, offensive wunderkind Kingsbury calls this play for an injured QB on 3rd and 18

I�m not exactly going out on a loving limb when I say that 2021 will mark the end of the Kliff Kingsbury experiment in Arizona. This is only his third year on the job, but this lovely franchise has never had a head coach last longer than 6 years in the desert.

When I complain about this team people tell me, �At least you have Kyler Murray�, but for every SportsCenter highlight of Kyler Murray, there are 10 plays where his pass is knocked down at the line of scrimmage, or he scrambles for his life and runs out of bounds for negative yardage. He�ll be playing baseball after his rookie contract expires.

Our former All-Pro DE Chandler Jones has demanded a trade, and all the Trump-loving yokels from the Phoenix exurbs couldn�t care less because they already bought a JJ Watt jersey to wear over their three-percenter t-shirts on game days. They�ll be screaming their melanoma-raddled heads off for both sacks Watt gets over the six games he�s healthy for this year.

Patrick Peterson and all his pass interference penalties are the Vikings� problem now, but our fat gently caress GM couldn�t be bothered to replace him. Now we have a guy who hasn�t played in two seasons as a starting CB backed up by a bunch of guys taken on Day 3 of this year�s draft. loving kill me.

Deandre Hopkins has threatened to retire rather than get the COVID vaccine, making him just another moron antivaxxer in a city full of the dumbest and most selfish people in the country. Arizona is Florida without the beaches or theme parks. Everything good you can say about Phoenix begins and ends with, �It doesn�t snow!� Sure, AZ Republicans are (still!) actively trying to rig the election and subverting the will of the voters, the state is on fire, water supplies are drying up, air quality is plummeting, heat records are shattered every year, and nighttime temps are over 90 degrees all summer, but �Durrrrrrr, the only salt I need is for mah margarita!� gently caress this state and gently caress every neckbeard military cosplayer here that slaps a �Don�t Tread On Me!� sticker on their pickup while unironically serving as their HOA president.

gently caress Chris Streveler with a sloppy moose dick.

# ? Aug 19, 2021 00:20

Forrest on Fire: Nov 23, 2012

The biggest selling point of AZ Cardinals fandom is the stadium grass

# ? Aug 19, 2021 13:05

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# ? May 6, 2024 08:09

Qwijib0: Apr 10, 2007; Who needs on-field skills when you can dance like this?; Fun Shoe

Forrest on Fire posted:

The biggest selling point of AZ Cardinals fandom is the stadium grass

it's pretty good grass

# ? Aug 20, 2021 05:43

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Football Funhouse > NFC West 2021: Enter the Runderdome

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