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lilljonas posted:I remember reading two or three of these. As a 12 year old kid in the 90's. And they were still a bit silly. Imagine reading them as a grown rear end man in 2021. i read them in the hospital (not in 2021 thank fuk) where my only other option was to stare at the ceiling and contemplate the misery of my existence, and, frankly, there were many times where i chose to do that instead of read clive cussler novels
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Aug 17, 2021 12:31
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Dirk grappled manfully with his rival, Kirk. "Pendulum" he said "You need to learn to stay in your lane". Kirk spat back "My lane? You're an expert pilot and master diver! The air and the sea are yours! What does that leave me? The land? Everyone can walk on the land!". Dirk paused. "How about outer space?" he suggested. Kirk's churlish face twisted in apoplexy. "Outer space?! You know I can't go into outer space! I'm at risk of detached retinas!" Dirk slackened his choke-hold. Detached retinas? Then this poor bastard could never experience the thrill of cruising at mach 1 over the steaming jungles of Indochine in an F-105 Thunderchief, tanks of petroleum jellified freedom slung underneath with the names of peaceful Vietnamese villagers practically written all over them. For the first time in his life, Dirk could feel some sympathy for his enemy. Boogoose fucked around with this message at 12:46 on Aug 17, 2021 |
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Aug 17, 2021 12:35
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I had a few of the books, maybe still do on a dusty shelf, and didn't think much of them except they were okay for passing the time. Then there was a gbs thread about how they were Mary Sue trash and I was like 'woah'.
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Aug 17, 2021 12:57
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Dumb Sex-Parrot posted:I had a few of the books, maybe still do on a dusty shelf, and didn't think much of them except they were okay for passing the time. Then there was a gbs thread about how they were Mary Sue trash and I was like 'woah'. Clearly no one here has ever read that TRASH you DUMMIE
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Aug 17, 2021 13:18
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Big Beef City posted:Clearly no one here has ever read that TRASH you DUMMIE that's a shame, i read gbs threads all the time 
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Aug 17, 2021 13:19
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Dirk Pitt discovers an underwater artifact that transforms him into a god. He then purifies the world of all evil by killing everyone who's not a cis white male who speaks american english and has rightwing beliefs. But his rightwing paranoia doesn't go away because it's hardwired into his monkey brain, so he eventually kills off his chosen people along with all life on Earth. Then he heads off into space to kill all life in the universe. Then he teleports himself to another universe to purify it as well. Dirk has become a god of destruction driven by pure rightwing paranoia, destroying one universe after another in a futile attempt to kill the unknown enemy that exists solely in his mind.
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Aug 17, 2021 13:45
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Big Beef City posted:Imagine if James Bond got hit in the back of the head with a 2x4 a few times and woke up with no recollection of his former life and 30 or so less IQ points, but wanted to play with boats now. loving lol!
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Aug 17, 2021 14:26
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I haven't any of these books in decades, but doesn't NUMA, an underwater salvage agency, also have the most advanced AI in the world?
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Aug 17, 2021 15:28
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Upgrade posted:I haven't any of these books in decades, but doesn't NUMA, an underwater salvage agency, also have the most advanced AI in the world? Yeah and it's a scantily clad version of the programmers wife. Iirc the ai wears bikinis and has a crush on dirk
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Aug 17, 2021 17:06
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Whichever studio made Sahara was all set to make Dirk Pitt into a modern Indiana Jones franchise but Cussler was so lovely to work with he basically tanked the deal. They were still suing each other like 10 years after it came out.
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Aug 17, 2021 17:39
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Moon Slayer posted:Whichever studio made Sahara was all set to make Dirk Pitt into a modern Indiana Jones franchise but Cussler was so lovely to work with he basically tanked the deal. They were still suing each other like 10 years after it came out. Gee, a raging rightwing hate-monger was difficult to work with. Who would have thought? Probably got pissed that the studio didn't want the movie to include all the rightwing bigotry from the source material.
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Aug 17, 2021 18:32
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Moon Slayer posted:Whichever studio made Sahara was all set to make Dirk Pitt into a modern Indiana Jones franchise but Cussler was so lovely to work with he basically tanked the deal. They were still suing each other like 10 years after it came out. Hmm maybe they'll have more luck working with Dirk Cussler.
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Aug 17, 2021 18:35
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I had no idea Clive Cussler died. 
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Aug 17, 2021 20:10
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mom and dad fight a lot posted:I had no idea Clive Cussler died. who will carry the tiki torch of weird beliefs in his stead?
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Aug 17, 2021 20:52
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just watched sahara. that movie is bonkers.
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Aug 18, 2021 06:43
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Upgrade posted:I haven't any of these books in decades, but doesn't NUMA, an underwater salvage agency, also have the most advanced AI in the world? One of the many funny things about Cussler's work is how this dorkass agency actually has like a 10 trillion dollar budget and all the cool spies know to call Dirk when things get too rough for the CIA or whoever. The Cussler I remember reading had an evil eskimo tribe trying to corner the world seafood market by dropping killer mutant salmon out of a dirigible to deplete the world's fish stocks. I forget what the historical doodad was.
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Aug 18, 2021 06:51
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One summer I accidentally managed to find 3 (non-Cussler) books in a row where the heroes were secret agents working for the Vatican to stop Evil. In one of them I remember they help a bunch of Russian mercs overthrow not-Belarus which is home to not-Dracula's castle where commies and vampires have aligned in evil since time immemorial. Another one had Satanists infiltrating the Catholic Church which otherwise has never had a problem with evil people.
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Aug 18, 2021 07:00
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