[COVID] 1 Million! We did it! :toot: :911:

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > [COVID] 1 Million! We did it! :toot: :911:

durrneez: Feb 20, 2013; I like fish. I like to eat fish. I like to brush fish with a fish hairbrush. Do you like fish too?

Cup Runneth Over posted:

the lion:

in another life, i was a wildlife researcher. i went on a lion collaring excursion once and the vet shot the lion in the dick with a tranquilizer dart.

# ¿ Aug 16, 2021 20:50

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# ¿ May 10, 2024 10:49

durrneez: Feb 20, 2013; I like fish. I like to eat fish. I like to brush fish with a fish hairbrush. Do you like fish too?

the lions were collared as part of a migration and social behavior study. this lion was one that the PIs had been interested in tracking for a long time. they were able to find him because he was mating with a female lion that had previously been collared. he was lion (lol) in the tall grass when we rolled up so the only clear shot was when they were mating.

Zisky posted:

Why would you ever choose a different job?

I PLAYED MYSELF. it was one of those exploitative gigs that target young, stupid, naive scientists��we cant pay you but you�ll get publications�

i got 0 publications in a journal because the director of the ngo is a piece of poo poo and really abusive and i left early.

# ¿ Aug 16, 2021 21:00

durrneez: Feb 20, 2013; I like fish. I like to eat fish. I like to brush fish with a fish hairbrush. Do you like fish too?

Thoguh posted:

https://twitter.com/nypost/status/1427302313992065024

honestly, at this point, i�ll take all the harry potter poo poo over this stuff

# ¿ Aug 16, 2021 21:03

durrneez: Feb 20, 2013; I like fish. I like to eat fish. I like to brush fish with a fish hairbrush. Do you like fish too?

I am glad that my husband can�t go to an in-person and mandatory residency function this week where food will be served because he will instead be working in the hospital.

however he has something later in the week that is mandatory that he is attending

it�s at a restaurant

LOLOL

# ¿ Aug 17, 2021 00:32

durrneez: Feb 20, 2013; I like fish. I like to eat fish. I like to brush fish with a fish hairbrush. Do you like fish too?

Grabnar posted:

There�s a lot of medical professionals in my family and social circles and they have all crack pinged in 1 of 2 ways, without exception.

1) They are Eric Crackl-Ping posting in this thread while self-medicating
Or
2) They�ve gone full brunch lib because �I�m just going to catch it at work anyway�

My husband tried to pull #2 on me when I asked him to stay masked at indoor residency events. he said, �you know I work at a hospital right??�

I asked, �oh, they got that same hospital HVAC system at [program director]�s house???? :colbert:

�

# ¿ Aug 17, 2021 00:43

durrneez: Feb 20, 2013; I like fish. I like to eat fish. I like to brush fish with a fish hairbrush. Do you like fish too?

i have to go to urgent care today.

im gonna see if they can take my temperature in my butthole. i dont want to take off my respirator.

# ¿ Aug 17, 2021 15:22

durrneez: Feb 20, 2013; I like fish. I like to eat fish. I like to brush fish with a fish hairbrush. Do you like fish too?

Thoguh posted:

# ¿ Aug 17, 2021 19:31

durrneez: Feb 20, 2013; I like fish. I like to eat fish. I like to brush fish with a fish hairbrush. Do you like fish too?

urgent care update: they took a forehead reading for my temperature. this nurse has some big ole phlegmy coughs! front desk staff only put on a mask when i walked in.

lol!!!!

# ¿ Aug 17, 2021 19:54

durrneez: Feb 20, 2013; I like fish. I like to eat fish. I like to brush fish with a fish hairbrush. Do you like fish too?

Ornery and Hornery posted:

KIRKLAND SIGNATURE

it�s wild how guilty I felt lying to Costco

did you at least get a $1.50 hot dog (with refill) on your way out?

# ¿ Aug 17, 2021 20:45

durrneez: Feb 20, 2013; I like fish. I like to eat fish. I like to brush fish with a fish hairbrush. Do you like fish too?

Bouillon Rube posted:

my prayers for gov abbot. this isn�t a disease that you can just walk away from

# ¿ Aug 17, 2021 22:36

durrneez: Feb 20, 2013; I like fish. I like to eat fish. I like to brush fish with a fish hairbrush. Do you like fish too?

FINALLY got my husband to agree to wear a KN95 at indoor residency events. I asked if I should buy, like, 100 and he said, �I don�t want boxes and boxes of masks lying around the house. If I like them, we can always buy more!!!�

lol this d�d�head :doh:

# ¿ Aug 18, 2021 02:36

durrneez: Feb 20, 2013; I like fish. I like to eat fish. I like to brush fish with a fish hairbrush. Do you like fish too?

Google Butt posted:

Spreadsheet entry changed from yellow to red. Do you not have a drawer, pantry, closet, cardboard box? Your husband is a dumbass.

He�s not the brightest in some ways but at least is content with eating rice and beans/soylent, cuts his own hair, and is an introvert.

# ¿ Aug 18, 2021 02:45

durrneez: Feb 20, 2013; I like fish. I like to eat fish. I like to brush fish with a fish hairbrush. Do you like fish too?

Forseti posted:

what? It's like the size of a box of tissues and doesn't go rancid or anything. Is he familiar with cabinets?

actual footage of my husband: https://youtu.be/RlF79D0iHaI?t=9

# ¿ Aug 18, 2021 02:52

durrneez: Feb 20, 2013; I like fish. I like to eat fish. I like to brush fish with a fish hairbrush. Do you like fish too?

osprey posted:

children are not part of the labor pool. nor are they consumers. we cannot extract wealth from them, therefore they are expendable

America.txt

# ¿ Aug 19, 2021 04:31

durrneez: Feb 20, 2013; I like fish. I like to eat fish. I like to brush fish with a fish hairbrush. Do you like fish too?

mod sassinator posted:

got a good seal on that respirator

# ¿ Aug 19, 2021 17:37

durrneez: Feb 20, 2013; I like fish. I like to eat fish. I like to brush fish with a fish hairbrush. Do you like fish too?

euphronius posted:

I know it�s only been 18 months but maybe we should start some Ovid mitigation efforts ?

i agree. Metamorphosis is boring. waste of 10 weeks of my life.

# ¿ Aug 19, 2021 18:05

durrneez: Feb 20, 2013; I like fish. I like to eat fish. I like to brush fish with a fish hairbrush. Do you like fish too?

moist turtleneck posted:

antivaxx husband of antivaxx mo state rep dies of covid but made sure to retweet babylon bee poo poo for funsies
https://twitter.com/JeffReedMO/status/1428357781564772366?s=20

https://twitter.com/marisolarteaga/status/1428389744094834692?s=20

whomst among us??

# ¿ Aug 19, 2021 18:07

durrneez: Feb 20, 2013; I like fish. I like to eat fish. I like to brush fish with a fish hairbrush. Do you like fish too?

Google Butt posted:

anyone stopped doing certain activities in order to reduce the chance of injury that may land you in the hallway of your local er again?

yes. about a year ago, i stopped being careless about eating food that may have already spoiled. ive never had this little diarrhea in a looooooooong time. lol!! this year, i only bike on my bike trainer and i drive a lot more defensively now.

# ¿ Aug 19, 2021 19:14

durrneez: Feb 20, 2013; I like fish. I like to eat fish. I like to brush fish with a fish hairbrush. Do you like fish too?

Dr_0ctag0n posted:

Lol same.

Love to hear HR loudly talking about people who have covid but not a single email or announcement that everyone in the office has been exposed.

Can I sue the poo poo out of them for reckless endangerment if I get covid?

yes, but the likelihood that you�ll win is slim

this is the case that i think Epic High Five is referencing: https://www.natlawreview.com/article/maryland-federal-court-limits-employer-liability-to-third-parties-face-covid-19

judge said ya, southwest really hosed up but if i rule in the plaintiff�s favor, it�ll be bad for the ultimate protected class: corporations

# ¿ Aug 19, 2021 19:20

durrneez: Feb 20, 2013; I like fish. I like to eat fish. I like to brush fish with a fish hairbrush. Do you like fish too?

Iron Crowned posted:

I'm fairly amused that Biden is so much worse than I had expected

ME TOO

# ¿ Aug 20, 2021 04:21

durrneez: Feb 20, 2013; I like fish. I like to eat fish. I like to brush fish with a fish hairbrush. Do you like fish too?

Der Meister posted:

my aunt and uncle are turbo chuds I never speak to

they got covid a few weeks ago

my aunt called me for the first time in twenty years

�can you please give me a zpak and ivermectin???�

LOL did she also say that she has a spider bite?

# ¿ Aug 20, 2021 14:23

durrneez: Feb 20, 2013; I like fish. I like to eat fish. I like to brush fish with a fish hairbrush. Do you like fish too?

does anyone else know anyone who still uses cloth masks? I know a couple people who do and it�s just�. motherfuckin WHY?????

# ¿ Aug 20, 2021 15:04

durrneez: Feb 20, 2013; I like fish. I like to eat fish. I like to brush fish with a fish hairbrush. Do you like fish too?

I found a Honeywell North half-face respirator size chart if anyone needs one.

I couldn't find one for 3M from a reputable source so it may be similar?

# ¿ Aug 20, 2021 16:39

durrneez: Feb 20, 2013; I like fish. I like to eat fish. I like to brush fish with a fish hairbrush. Do you like fish too?

empty whippet box posted:

My wife is currently on a phone interview with the job business gorilla has been spamming about in thread. If this actually comes through then it will be the millionth example of cspam making a huge positive difference in our lives. I seriously don't know where we would be without this dumb dying pansexual comedy forum.

YEAHHhhhh!

thank you for posting this. been feelin� kinda dumpy today so it�s nice to read some good news! hope it works out!!

# ¿ Aug 20, 2021 19:38

durrneez: Feb 20, 2013; I like fish. I like to eat fish. I like to brush fish with a fish hairbrush. Do you like fish too?

Zisky posted:

Is there anyone here that doesn't know someone with a breakthrough case at this point?

not yet!

# ¿ Aug 20, 2021 20:50

durrneez: Feb 20, 2013; I like fish. I like to eat fish. I like to brush fish with a fish hairbrush. Do you like fish too?

Nodelphi posted:

ER goon update: It finally happened, woke up feeling fine but as the day progressed I started feeling bad so I got tested and I�m positive.

I think we�ve waited too long to do boosters. I was a first round vaccination as I�m an ER doc. Be careful out there goons.

oh no. hope your symptoms are minor.

my husband is an EM resident right now and i worry that your story will become his. he and i were vaxxed around the same time so if he brings it home, im most likely gonna get it, too. i like when he bring me home stuff from work, but not like this!!!!!

yesterday, he told me that they ran out of negative pressure rooms and had a covid+ patient on a bed, in the hallway. patient refused to wear a mask so patient was reverse-kirbying coronavirus everywhere and on everyone.

aaaaAaaaaaaaAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhh

Steve Yun posted:

can�t be counted as a hospitalization if you�re collapsing at the library instead

durrneez fucked around with this message at 01:46 on Aug 21, 2021

# ¿ Aug 21, 2021 01:43

durrneez: Feb 20, 2013; I like fish. I like to eat fish. I like to brush fish with a fish hairbrush. Do you like fish too?

Lovelyn posted:

Got report from night shift about this lovely convo that happened overnight:

Nurse: We need to transfuse blood, do we have your consent?
Wife: ONLY GIVE HIM UNVACCINATED BLOOD

# ¿ Aug 24, 2021 00:37

durrneez: Feb 20, 2013; I like fish. I like to eat fish. I like to brush fish with a fish hairbrush. Do you like fish too?

my powecom kn95s are here and i can�t wait to wear them on my daily roni walks now eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee :sparkles:

# ¿ Aug 24, 2021 04:46

durrneez: Feb 20, 2013; I like fish. I like to eat fish. I like to brush fish with a fish hairbrush. Do you like fish too?

Spoondick posted:

a chud walks in to tractor supply and grabs a tube of ivermectin, the cashier says "why the long face?"

# ¿ Aug 24, 2021 16:55

durrneez: Feb 20, 2013; I like fish. I like to eat fish. I like to brush fish with a fish hairbrush. Do you like fish too?

WampaLord posted:

my mom got her 3rd shot the other day and her only side effect was arm soreness

proud to be the son of Maxine Titers

# ¿ Aug 26, 2021 04:04

durrneez: Feb 20, 2013; I like fish. I like to eat fish. I like to brush fish with a fish hairbrush. Do you like fish too?

ram dass in hell posted:

therapist: great work no longer responding to objectively terrible things with "lol. lmao."
me: we love to see it folks

# ¿ Aug 28, 2021 05:41

durrneez: Feb 20, 2013; I like fish. I like to eat fish. I like to brush fish with a fish hairbrush. Do you like fish too?

Chamale posted:

An 88-year-old professor resigned on the spot after a student he asked to wear a mask refused to wear it properly. The state won't let him enforce a mask rule, so after he explained his age and health conditions and she still refused, he said "I'm retired" and walked out the door.

drat. good for that dude.

quote:

�At that point I said that whereas I had risked my life to defend my country while in the Air Force, I was not willing to risk my life to teach a class with an unmasked student during this Pandemic,� Bernstein said in an email to The Red & Black. �I then resigned my retiree-rehire position.�

# ¿ Aug 28, 2021 06:00

durrneez: Feb 20, 2013; I like fish. I like to eat fish. I like to brush fish with a fish hairbrush. Do you like fish too?

Thesaurus posted:

i hope the other students have the rouge mask less student poo poo, but they probably just shrugged and wandered off

did u read the article

# ¿ Aug 28, 2021 06:07

durrneez: Feb 20, 2013; I like fish. I like to eat fish. I like to brush fish with a fish hairbrush. Do you like fish too?

Peter Daou Zen posted:

dan connor dying of covid, turning out to be a fever dream of roseanne as she is actually dying of covid and hallucinating on the vent

fade in of ceo of sanofi, the manufacturer of ambien, cackling in the background

# ¿ Aug 28, 2021 06:14

durrneez: Feb 20, 2013; I like fish. I like to eat fish. I like to brush fish with a fish hairbrush. Do you like fish too?

friend revealed that, because her kid is 2, he usually doesn�t wear a mask when they go out

having a real hard time not saying RIP LMAO

# ¿ Aug 29, 2021 05:01

durrneez: Feb 20, 2013; I like fish. I like to eat fish. I like to brush fish with a fish hairbrush. Do you like fish too?

gradenko_2000 posted:

https://mobile.twitter.com/peterdaou/status/1431739898873139210

well, let's see:

* the 0 to 15 year age cohort in the US was 18.7% of the US population as of 2019

* that comes out to 62.317 million people

* if we only take 80% of that, to narrow the range to 0 to 12 years (bad napkin math, I know), we get 49.85 million people

* if we take 75% of that, we get 37.39 million infected people

* with a rough estimate of 1 in 12 people getting long COVID, that's 3.11 million people with long COVID

* and with a CFR of 1.70%, that's 635,630 dead

open biden

# ¿ Aug 29, 2021 07:03

durrneez: Feb 20, 2013; I like fish. I like to eat fish. I like to brush fish with a fish hairbrush. Do you like fish too?

oh, oh, oh, oh, oppen biden style

heyyyy, ven-ti-la-tor

raw dogging reality isnt going so well right now LOL

# ¿ Aug 29, 2021 07:14

durrneez: Feb 20, 2013; I like fish. I like to eat fish. I like to brush fish with a fish hairbrush. Do you like fish too?

Baddog posted:

Remember that dude hauling covid corpses in a pickup truck in philly? He had at least 12 in the back of that thing.

No one gave a shiiiiiit.

holy poo poo, what.

i found this article on it: https://www.inquirer.com/health/coronavirus/bodies-pick-up-truck-medical-examiner-ford-overflow-storage-20200420.html

this part made me chuckle:

quote:

He declined to identify the hospital. But scrawled in black marker on two of the white body bags were the words �Albert Einstein Medical� and �Einstein Med Center.�

# ¿ Aug 29, 2021 07:24

durrneez: Feb 20, 2013; I like fish. I like to eat fish. I like to brush fish with a fish hairbrush. Do you like fish too?

Tzen posted:

as i read "remember that dude hauling covid corpses" i pictured that video from india where the corpse flew out of the vehicle during a turn
loving gently caress

holy poo poo what!!!

# ¿ Aug 29, 2021 07:24

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# ¿ May 10, 2024 10:49

durrneez: Feb 20, 2013; I like fish. I like to eat fish. I like to brush fish with a fish hairbrush. Do you like fish too?

Baddog posted:

Haha ok I misremembered, it was only five or six. But the memory of dude standing on them, and pushing them out like loving logs definitely stuck with me though.

At the time I was like "ok this picture will do it, this will make people take this poo poo seriously"

still, 5 or 6 is a lot!! thats like two layers deep?

it�s philly, so maybe 2.5 layers?

# ¿ Aug 29, 2021 07:29

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